Non friendly females in the gym.
Replies
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To be honest my gym workout is my me-time...its the one place where u crank up the music and push yourself through an hour of cardio and strength training. Not that I dont mind having conversation, but usually i have a set amount of time to workout, stretch, shower, and then go to class or drive to work. Talking just cuts into the time Ive put in and supposed to be working on myself. Plus, if you can talk while working out, you're not working hard enough. At least that's how it feels for me.
Try asking what kind of workout she's doing and see if you can do it with her. For example, ask if she needs a spotter, or maybe if she's working on abs, you could listen to her music since "yours is broken" (im just making stuff up as I go along tbh).
Hope this helps.1 -
Iv been going to the gym for years. Just my opinion but ladies just don't seem to be very friendly. Maybe it's just me!
I know we are there to workout but a casual chat would be nice.
I've found that people that go to the gym early in the morning seem more likely to chit chat than let's say after work, or later at night. I think the demographic changes a bit then too, it tend to be a little older in the early morning. At least at my gym. Have you tried going at different times?0 -
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I don't currently have a gym membership but when I did I was there to get my workout in as quickly as possible and get out. I had no interest in chatting with others. I am improving my workout space at home as the gyms are too crowded during the time I want to go (on my way home from work) and frankly I prefer to work out in peace and quiet.4
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Me thinks OP has missed out on the last 15 years of Sexual politics that apply to the gym.0
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Because we're not there to entertain you?16
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I only go over to people I already know. I'll smile at the same girls behind the front desk. I usually just tend have my headphones on, so I'm not really disturbed by anyone, but I wouldn't mind if someone came up to me to talk- especially if it was the bearded guy with real abs who always has a blue T-shirt , or the cute blonde in all black who trains early in the mornings.0
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Motorsheen wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Question I have been asking my whole life:
What is a real man?
let's start here:
You have had to watch both Predator and Fight Club in their entirety; no exceptions.
You forgot Road House. A movie for men who like movies lol
Road House from 1948? Yes!
The remake from '89, not so much.1 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.20
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If they don't want to talk to you for whatever reason then they don't have to and to suggest otherwise is a bit sexist (you were just applying the original comments to females even though I'm sure there's plenty of men in your gym who've also never chatted to you). This is a good article to read on the topic.
http://www.bodyforwife.com/she-doesnt-owe-you-*kitten*/
I love this guy, he writes some great material6 -
I must look like everyone's grandpa or something. I smile and say "Hi!" to everyone and everyone does back. But you gotta know if they say "Hi" and start into their next set, it's time to leave 'em alone. If they say something like, "How you doin' old man?!" Then it's okay to have a brief discourse. It's common sense & common courtesy.8
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The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I'd be nice to you, I damn sure would.
..... really, really nice.4 -
We all go to the gym to better ourselfs mind and body so you suround yourself with people that have the same goals like you or close enough with that being said there are a few people that dont know when to end the chat and talk way to much holding machines and benches etc or stay on the phone ... Say hello ask haw are they and resume your workout if they dont interact with u dont take it to heart ! We are all there to better ourselfs !0
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If someone give's me a friendly "Hi!", they will get one back. That's about it, unless for whatever reason I am inclined to speak with them further. I'm generally not, but eh - circumstances. I'm not at the gym to chat or make friends. I'm certainly not obliged to engage in a conversation with anyone.1
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The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I agree but to an extent. To say that a female should be expected to engage someone because they are friendly is wrong on a few different levels. Yes, a polite "hello" should get at least an equally polite "hello" in return. But we all know that polite hello usually comes with more. My wife deals with that all the time. I think women are often put in awkward situations...be polite and run the risk of having some guy talk their ear off. Or cut the conversation short and be the subject of an MFP thread.19 -
Motorsheen wrote: »The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I'd be nice to you, I damn sure would.
..... really, really nice.
Meet me at the gym
I'm there now.
waiting.1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Question I have been asking my whole life:
What is a real man?
Maybe a real man has curves? I keep hearing real women have them.. So maybe a real man has them too?4 -
Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.2 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
I agree but to an extent. To say that a female should be expected to engage someone because they are friendly is wrong on a few different levels. Yes, a polite "hello" should get at least an equally polite "hello" in return. But we all know that polite hello usually comes with more. My wife deals with that all the time. I think women are often put in awkward situations...be polite and run the risk of having some guy talk their ear off. Or cut the conversation short and be the subject of an MFP thread.
I understand your view. I just look at it like you have to apply lessons you have learned carefully. I have met creeps. I have also met lots of good people. If everyone that approached me was treated with an attitude of "get the *kitten* away from me" then I would have far less friends.
I have gotten food poisoning from a restaurant before, I still eat out sometimes.
I prefer to keep my mind and heart open, some don't and that is their prerogative.
I think we are on the same page. I agree with you totally that it's up to individuals to negotiate the terms of their own interactions. I just think it's wrong for a male to expect a female to socialize with him when maybe she doesn't want to.10 -
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Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.5 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol
There's what? Like 20 people living in Iceland?
19 when Björk goes on tour...3 -
The notion that women are supposed to be friendly and respond with a smile when approached by a friendly male is rooted in sexism. Sorry bro, but I have to call it like I see it. It's a gym, not a bar or lounge.
I think ALL people should be friendly when approached by another friendly person
nah. all people should be civil unless they're given good grounds not to be, but 'should be friendly' just gets a great big get-real from me.
i realise that i can't get my head around extraversion, but i swear. some people need to learn a little social self-sufficiency even if they are extraverts. if they're old enough to be at the gym without a parent to take care of them, they should be old enough to survive an hour or two with their own company. or if they can't, then imo they ought to bring their own instead of arriving solo and then expecting the general [female?] population to provide some for them.
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I never talk to anyone when I go to the gym either. Truthfully because I'm so intimidated by everyone and don't have the confidence in myself. I just workout at home now.1
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Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Reading all these comments makes me so happy to be a part of a gym/box where the staff knows my name and everyone is super friendly.
We have a bell we ring when we get a new 1RM and everyone cheers when you run up at it and ring it..
We even cheer each other on and chat in the hot tub and sauna..
We also have an app and a group on Facebook to chat to one another..
I think some of you are worried to much about people who are trying to get into your pants that you're forgetting to have fun and enjoy the journey..
Or maybe we're just all different and having fun and laughing isn't a part of your gym time. We all do what works for us.
I love this so much!!!
Encouragement and motivation from others can enhance what can sometimes end up being a very tedious process.
I may tell my gym we need a bell
yeah, but isn't she in Iceland
the entire nation, they're already on a first name basis with each other.
This is true. But to be fair we don't have a last name.. We have patronymic or matrionymic last names.. So if you'd call me by my last name you'd be calling me my dad's first name and just adding dottir (daughter) behind his name.. That's just wouldn't work lol
There's what? Like 20 people living in Iceland?
19 when Björk goes on tour...
No.. 18, she usually takes her son with her
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I don't have anything new to offer this thread so maybe I shouldn't really post, but...
I'm the same as most people here. I might humor someone on a short conversation if they tried, because I don't want to be rude, but really, the gym is the one place where I don't want to be spoken to. I want to listen to my music in peace and zone out while I exercise.4 -
In my experience, if you just keep it short and friendly they will too (the unfriendly women), but if you stare, get too much in their business, stare some more, try to be noticed, and also you're still staring.... they won't be friendly towards you. They don't have to be either. It's not a bar. It's not a dating site, it's a gym. People are there for THEIR reasons, not your reasons. If you're worrying why the women are not talking to you, reevaluate why you are even going there, because it is not to work out obviously.10
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