Non friendly females in the gym.
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Wow, that question seemed to spark something in some . . . I have to agree that while most of us are trying to get in and out within a limited time frame I will still engage in conversation with those that stop and speak to me as I would hope one would do for me. While usually it is a few comments in passing I figure we are there for the same general reason and unless they start taking about moonbeams and unicorns I just try and keep it light and friendly
Moonbeams? Lol. Out of curiousity, what even is that?0 -
OP, I wouldn't worry about it. But for future purposes, I'd reconsider the titling of your threads. For one, referring to women as....well..."females" is sort of dehumanizing...too technical. Add to that the prefix of "non-friendly", and before any women reads your original post, they have already formed an opinion about you, regardless of your rather harmless intentions.
I will say that it's sort of weird to note that mainly women are non-friendly, as I think the vast majority of the non-friendly vibe within gyms is male-generated. The truth is if a girl (whether she's working out or drinking coffee or drinking shots) has time for you, you'll know it, and then you'll be happy
Also girls in the gym: don't kid yourselves. (you know who you are) haha2 -
OP, I wouldn't worry about it. But for future purposes, I'd reconsider the titling of your threads. For one, referring to women as....well..."females" is sort of dehumanizing...too technical. Add to that the prefix of "non-friendly", and before any women reads your original post, they have already formed an opinion about you, regardless of your rather harmless intentions.
I will say that it's sort of weird to note that mainly women are non-friendly, as I think the vast majority of the non-friendly vibe within gyms is male-generated. The truth is if a girl (whether she's working out or drinking coffee or drinking shots) has time for you, you'll know it, and then you'll be happy
Also girls in the gym: don't kid yourselves. (you know who you are) haha
I agree with this constructive feedback about OP's wording. I definitely formed an opinion as soon as I saw the title of the post.
My advice: Don't take it personally. I have to talk to people all day at work, and if I am at the gym, I want "me" time. Also, I have had way too many experiences where I smile once or say "hi" and then am stuck with some new buddy who can't read the signals that no, I do not want to talk or work out together. I want to go to my pain cave alone and unencumbered. Now I mostly try to avoid eye contact.
If you are looking for chats and friends, you'll connect with the other people there for the same reason. If no one is nice to you, maybe the gym is a bad fit for your personality. Try a bootcamp or running club maybe. If it happens everywhere, you might want to ask your friends for some honest feedback on what you're doing wrong.4 -
So tonight, in a lil' gym time experiment, I said "Hello" and vigorously waved to every women in sight.
It didn't matter if she was lifting or doing cardio or entering the locker room. It didn't matter if she was wearing earbuds. It didn't matter if she was young or old.
They all got a great big "Hello !" with my arms extended for a full body hug.
... I've been banned from the gym for a week.19 -
rugratz2015 wrote: »[
This ^^^ I don't get it either, ok, unless they just finished work, so they should have remover, but the ones that don't??? There a definitely a few girls in my gym that are only there for the lads.
I always wore makeup to the gym when I went because I'm self-conscious. Whether anyone else thinks that the gym is a place to feel self-conscious or not, that's how I felt, so I'd go with it still on, and then I'd wash it off when I got home.
I don't see what the big deal is.I find it strange because : if it was me It would be in streaks down my face from working out.
If you're too self conscious to go with a naked face then I'm presuming you're too self conscious to work out in tiny shorts and bra tops as well?
These girls aren't - nor do they actually work out.
Actually, no. Now that I'm fitter than I've ever been I do sometimes work out in things like that. Why does it matter? If they want to waste their money at the gym doing nothing but trying to look good then that's their issue.
And FYI, if you have a good setting spray your makeup will stay on in most cases. Mine always did - even when I was pushing really hard.
I was just about to say a good setting spray, I'm partial to Skindinavia myself, will keep most makeup in place. Also, patting your face dry instead of rubbing also keeps makeup in place longer.
I've never understood why people judge someone for wearing makeup to the gym. Why do you care? I get in just as good of a workout while wearing a full face of makeup as I do with a completely bare face. I know b/c I've done both. And it's not for the selfie either b/c I rarely ever take a gym selfie anymore. I go to the gym in makeup b/c I go straight from work or because I feel like wearing makeup that day. Most makeup removing towelettes aggravate my skin b/c it strips it of moisture, and it doesn't fully remove the makeup anyway. If I'm taking off my makeup, I'm taking my makeup all the way off which for me means using an oil based cleanser followed by a water based cleanser.
Let people live their lives in peace; especially, since it doesn't affect you in the slightest.9 -
I don't see why that's bad, but to each their own I guess.
maybe not 'bad', but i see it as kind of pointless, personally. not saying you need to stop doing it if it works for you, but just giving my own perspective. i don't mind being pleasant to people, most of the time. but the idea of having to make eye contact and smile at every single person i come across as i go through a day . . . it's exhausting. i'd feel scraped raw by around 11 am.lisciousg24 wrote: »I have noticed though many females where I go wear a *kitten* load of make up to the gym. So maybe they're not part of the unfriendly ones you're referring to.
most of the women i've known who were makeup people, didn't mean they were hoping someone would hit on them; it's just a facet of who they are. they put it on before they go out in the same way that i comb my hair and change out of pyjamas. but nobody thinks i'm trying to attract attention by combing my hair.
it's sort of strange to think that if i were a makeup user myself, i might suddenly find my workout being judged by bystanders as not serious enough or something. but the fact is, i don't think what i usually do in the gym would disturb any makeup if i happened to be wearing some. so why not, if that's how somebody always does life?
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chocolate_owl wrote: »Because the first thing I think of is livestock of some kind.
\o/ YOU i will smile at
idk, i think people are afraid to say 'women' these days. there's something fingertippy and mincey about calling us 'females' that gets to me too. like being a woman is too raw and elemental to be called out by 'polite' people.
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rugratz2015 wrote: »lisciousg24 wrote: »I have noticed though many females where I go wear a *kitten* load of make up to the gym. So maybe they're not part of the unfriendly ones you're referring to.
I often wonder if they're there to meet the one... Or what the deal is.
This ^^^ I don't get it either, ok, unless they just finished work, so they should have remover, but the ones that don't??? There a definitely a few girls in my gym that are only there for the lads.
My wife comes straight to the gym after work. She still has make up on her face at the gym and she is also one of those "non-friendlies" who just want to come in and get her work done, but once her work is done she'll talk to people. Sorry she has a full time job and didn't have time to wash her face off so you wouldn't be confused...
Do you apply this same logic towards the grocery store, the bank or any other place besides work or a bar? Not sure how b/c a woman is wearing make up it means that she is starving for attention and it was only put on for you and to invite you to give her the attention you think she needs.In my experience, if you just keep it short and friendly they will too (the unfriendly women), but if you stare, get too much in their business, stare some more, try to be noticed, and also you're still staring.... they won't be friendly towards you. They don't have to be either. It's not a bar. It's not a dating site, it's a gym. People are there for THEIR reasons, not your reasons. If you're worrying why the women are not talking to you, reevaluate why you are even going there, because it is not to work out obviously.
Funnily enough I think this logic should also apply to bars or dating sites. Women have the right to choose the terms and extent of their interaction no matter what the context. They don't owe you anything. Having said that I think all people should be polite and civil to one another. However if a women has had previous bad experiences with men misconstruing that type of approach as interest then I can understand the unfriendly approach
I agree 100%. After you have been going to a gyms for a while, you see it over and over. I see this all over the place, not just the gym either. Learn social cues and maybe understand that good looking women get hit on/attention ALL OF THE TIME. All day long, Day in, Day out. Don't be so let down that you weren't the one who sparked her interests and think she owes it to you because you just happened to be there too..... People need to get over themselves.8 -
Here is my perspective:Iv been going to the gym for years. Just my opinion but ladies just don't seem to be very friendly. Maybe it's just me!
I know we are there to workout but a casual chat would be nice.
'Don't *kitten* where you eat.'
I don't like flirting or dating in places I need and have to go to frequently such as work, yoga studio, and the gym. Those places need to remain drama free. Meeting people at my sanctuaries can be good but if it goes bad then I will feel awkward going there and the last thing I want is to feel awkward or have the need to avoid someone there.
Also when I go to the gym it is for ME, no one else. When you start making friends there....expectations are created, then I feel like I have to show up or people will be disappointed....that just makes me stressed out. I go when I want to go. If I want to stop going for a month, I will, I will show up when I want. So I keep it polite then keep it moving.
This may sound bad, I really don't like it when people try to chat me up in Yoga, asking questions, making convo...and it is becoming more frequent because I am a regular. I just want to dedicate that time to myself...then go my way.
I rather meet people at neutral settings or places where I can make an easy escape if it goes sour.
Just my two cents.
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happilymegan wrote: »
I want to sit in front of you and talk so that I get free popcorn.2 -
I am a very friendly person but when it comes to working out that is my "me" time. I honestly don't want to be bothered when I'm working out. I am there to get stuff done and continue with my day, I am sure many of the ladies you are referring to are the same way.1
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Is this thread still going? It should be combined with "are me afraid to ask for a womens number". Be polite, short and sweet. The gym is for working out!0
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I loathe small talk. Some people just do. If I do not foresee a conversation being stimulating or am not looking for stimulating conversation I prefer to remain silent. Its okay to be silent. It is not a judgement on you, it's not about you at all. Let people live man.8
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They are probably focused on their work out. When I went to the gym, I put in headphones and did my workout then left. Not to be mean but because I had limited time and didn't have time to chat.1
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happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »
I want to sit in front of you and talk so that I get free popcorn.
I'll make sure I lick it all first then
...because you think that would deter me somehow?0 -
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happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »
I want to sit in front of you and talk so that I get free popcorn.
I'll make sure I lick it all first then
...because you think that would deter me somehow?
Ooh you're nasty
You have no idea... how much I like popcorn1 -
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Male or female I think everybody has different degrees of comfort with talking to people at the gym..
I mean, I'm a PT so.. when I'm training clients I'm constantly having to keep chatting and keep motivating them - keep up occasional small talk and then generally be a source of inspiration to push through barriers..
That said, when I have my own sessions I love to be left alone - it's my time.
It's not that I'm unfriendly I just use it as my get-away time.
I think so many people are similar.
Come talk to me in the steam room or jacuzzi but the gym, you can guarantee I'm wearing my earphones ignoring the world!!4 -
happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »Dreamcrusher16 wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »
I want to sit in front of you and talk so that I get free popcorn.
I'll make sure I lick it all first then
...because you think that would deter me somehow?
Ooh you're nasty
You have no idea... how much I like popcorn
And you have no idea if I brushed my teeth that day.
Meh, movie theater popcorn, don't care1 -
When I go to the gym, I go there to workout. I have my earphones in because I don't want anyone to start a conversation with me.. Which is not full proof because I've had a few guys tap me on my shoulder to start a conversation. Even if my phone dies and I have no music, I still have my earphones in to avoid all conversation. I avoid all eye contact because that results in conversation sometimes. Not trying to be unfriendly, but just not into socializing at the gym.5
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I thousand her thousand... or something like that!ASAPStocky wrote: »The gym is not a social setting.
The grocery store is a place to buy food, the bar is a place to drink, church is a place to worship, school is a place to learn, work is a place to.... Duh, the internet is a place to do research or get information, MFP is a place to count calories, but.... I am sure everyone here has met or chatted with someone at one of these places.
I dont talk a ton at the gym, but I also disagree with the people who get seriously pissed about it. People just need to start being more kind to each other in general. This world has enough hatred and bitterness.
I would awesome this a thousand times if I could!
Also, I used to think the restroom would be a non-sociable place.. Well, until I had kids and a husband.. It seems there is some deep conversations that happen in restrooms. I've witness strangers in a public bathroom sharing life stories. With this being said, I believe a sociable place is where you make it. There are no rules, just respect of others. I, personally, don't want to talk while I am working out, but wouldn't mind a simple hello. As far as protecting myself, I always try to have my guard up. 3 -
LiftingRiot wrote: »I wouldn't know if women are friendly or not. I never try talking to them at the gym. I really don't talk to anyone.
You're the real MVP2 -
PersianKitty94 wrote: »LiftingRiot wrote: »I wouldn't know if women are friendly or not. I never try talking to them at the gym. I really don't talk to anyone.
You're the real MVP
She knows whats up. Im a busy person and I get it done at the gym. There is no time for conversation. This isnt social hour. Unless you go to planet fitness, I can totally see the OP trying to talk in there while eating some pizza.1 -
the girls in my gym avoid dudes all the time. can you blame them for being closed off when they are being hit on, on the daily?7
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Some of us have social anxiety and hope we're invisible at the gym. Talking to strangers is scary for me no matter where I am. I'll always return a smile though (if I'm positive I'm the one being smiled at). Fortunately for me my gym is full of college guys who couldn't care less about chatting up a 30something lady.10
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I just go into my own zone, headphones on and loud music.0
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CoffeeandDumbbells wrote: »the girls in my gym avoid dudes all the time. can you blame them for being closed off when they are being hit on, on the daily?
I have never seen anyone, male or female, hit on at my gym. We casually chat and nod and smile, but I have never heard anything creepy or anyone ask for a phone number or anything along those lines.
If it were just me not getting hit on I would chalk that up to something else, but there are some very pretty girls there and everyone is respectful.
Wow....
You seriously need to change gyms.1 -
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