Non friendly females in the gym.
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Gym is for working out don't talk to me unless you need a spot, then I'm happy to oblige4
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At my old gym that was the norm. People ignored each other.. We didn't chat.. We didn't smile.. We just listened to our music and worked out in our own little world. I was there for 6 months and during that time I talked to strangers twice.. once when a dude approached me and once when I asked a coach to help me out cause I had a broken wrist and needed assistance with one armed DL.
I loved that place but I'm a social person and I didn't like the unwritten rule about not talking to anyone.
At my new gym(box) no one has any headphones. There's loud music, there's laughing, there's chatting and there's lots of smiles. I love that! Everyone is so happy all the fricking time and so helpful. It suits me a lot better cause of it and I'm already getting to know people only 2 months in.
If you feel like the unwritten rule of ignoring other gym members isn't for you I think you might look into a smaller gym, maybe even a crossfit box.
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I just find it odd than because a woman doesn't talk to you, she is automatically "non-friendly".30
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PlaydohPants wrote: »happilymegan wrote: »Alldaygainz wrote: »@happilymegan Maybe you misunderstood the OP. No one asked for a full on conversation but all he wants is a simple Hi and surely you can agree that as humans it's only natural to want to communicate and be acknowledged by another person? Keep in mind most people find there confidence in the gym and want to express themselves in this space.
Hello/good morning ect. That's fine! But the OP said causal chat. I don't have time to chat. I'm busy. Perhaps if I had more time I'd be open to more communication but I have 1hr 15 minutes most days.
No, no, no, silly you have to have a conversation with everyone you come across otherwise you're an unfriendly female. Don't be too friendly though because if you smile too much you're just a tease.
Odd how this was prompted as a gender issue when some males and females enjoy not socializing at the gym and putting in that work. So confusing
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Odd how this was prompted as a gender issue when some males and females enjoy not socializing at the gym and putting in that work. So confusing
My guess is because the OP is trying to chat up women, but disguising it as "just being friendly".
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Iv been going to the gym for years. Just my opinion but ladies just don't seem to be very friendly. Maybe it's just me!
I know we are there to workout but a casual chat would be nice.
Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a lady, and please stop talking to me while I'm working out!13 -
Socialization at the gym for me is saying good morning to the guy at the counter and nodding at the other regulars I know. Then headphones go in and workout. If it's a good workout, talking is difficult. If you want to chat, start slow. Nod and wave for a couple weeks, then you can work in a short conversation after she's acknowledged you.4
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »I find females in general are unfriendly, not just at the gym. The amount of angst contained in these gineys is unbelievable.
we can be *kitten* that's for sure2 -
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happilymegan wrote: »
Hear! Hear! I throw half-empty soda cups.2 -
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I just find it odd than because a woman doesn't talk to you, she is automatically "non-friendly".
1. I agree with this ..that and I'm mostly likely super focused while I'm there. If I notice a guy watching me I'll smirk or smile but most of the time, my eyes are closed focusing on the muscle and I'm short on time. I mean it's the gym not Starbucks. Lets do what we came there to do. Workout!!!
2. I miss you girl.
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littlemissbgiff wrote: »I find females in general are unfriendly, not just at the gym. The amount of angst contained in these gineys is unbelievable.
As I've always said: "No 1 hates you, more than; your own!"! I've the same issue being disabled with, other disabled people; that I don't with healthy people!2 -
I don't wear my glasses/contacts to the gym, so I just see blobs of people.
So if you're trying to make eye contact with me, I probably won't see it.
That may explain why only 2 men have ever said hi/gave me compliments in 9 years at the same gym.9 -
Alldaygainz wrote: »@happilymegan Maybe you misunderstood the OP. No one asked for a full on conversation but all he wants is a simple Hi and surely you can agree that as humans it's only natural to want to communicate and be acknowledged by another person? Keep in mind most people find there confidence in the gym and want to express themselves in this space.
Wanting to be left alone is just as legitimate as wanting to interact. Everyone has their own experiences in life which shape their behavior and perceptions. Less friendly people may have good reasons for not conforming to your expectations for being sociable, communicating and "expressing themselves" with strangers in public spaces. We're not all equally outgoing, and that's fine.
Sometimes interacting with strangers of the opposite sex leads to trouble. If you haven't experienced this, you probably won't get it. That simple "Hi" given to the wrong person might mean you have to change your workout schedule or even change gyms when you can't shake your new stalker. Disappoint the wrong person by "leading them on" with a friendly smile, and things can get uncomfortable quickly. Spoken from experience.
Most people are cool, but some think that any kind of positive attention gives them free reign to take full possession of your time and space. I used to be friendlier. It was a hassle. Sometimes it was downright scary. I'm not so friendly anymore. Sorry if that hurts anyone's feelings, but that's the way it is. Plenty of other friendly people to talk to. Don't worry about the ones who want to be left alone. Most of them have a good reason. They aren't horrible, mean people trying to hurt your feelings. The last thing they need when they're just minding their own business and trying to work out is dealing with other people's drama.
So don't be offended, just let it go...
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Shucks. All these people who don't have time for a simple hello or acknowledgment or friendliness in real life. They seem to have plenty of time to socialize electronically at MFP.
Crazy, isn't it? People have their own priorities? I'm not trying to set a personal speed record while I'm chatting on MFP but might be when I'm on the trail.12 -
I agree with the op, I don't find people particularly chatty in my gym, unless they already seem to know each other. One bloke did smile at me a couple of times and I returned his smile, but that's the friendliest person I've seen. Another bloke did respond when I complimented him on what aftershave he was wearing, but that's it, in 9 months. Oh! And one woman in the changing rooms that only uses the pool and talks to everyone.0
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Yeah sorry to burst your bubble but the gym isn't a social event. I don't mind getting checked out and maybe a hi. But the gym is the only time when I hate a guy walking up to me and taking me away from my workout I only get an hour in the gym I'm not about to waste 10+ minutes talking.7
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I've been going to the same gym for 5 years; I only started to make gym friends in the last year. I'm not unfriendly...I'm busy and have intense RBF.3
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LUv3kbmNfg
Be like Arnold is what i say .6 -
finny11122 wrote: »https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LUv3kbmNfg
Be like Arnold is what i say .
"Stop being a baby; this is Gold's Gym, not a baby gym."
Awesome.4 -
I'm a pretty friendly guy in general. Beth complains that I chat with too many people when we hike. I'm happy, and there's a lot of trail chat. And, really, the goals for the day are to have a good time and enjoy natural beauty, stopping to talk to people doesn't impact that.
When I'm lifting, I just want to focus on lifting. Somebody breaks my concentration, then, crap!, did I just finish my 3rd or 4th set?
We can talk all day long on bikes, if you can match my pace.
On skis, it depends on my goal that day. Sometimes I'm working on speed. Other times, I'm just enjoying the gorgeousness of winter. Some days I'll stop and talk to the people on the side of the trail scratching their heads looking at the map. But some days I don't have time for that, and I know someone else will.
So if you ask me if it's a nice day, I'll probably tell you it is, but don't be offended if I don't slow down sometimes.
I'm a male, by the way; maybe that means nobody cares if I'm unfriendly:11 -
I agree and I'm a lady myself. Same goes for the gym I go too. Women have more of a bad attitude about things there than anywhere else I have been. Of course the men are helpful most of the time! Lol lord forbid asking a lady a question! Might get a sour look.3
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So I'm pressed for time this past Thursday and I only have about 40 minutes to commit to working out.
I go to the gym and there's a couple of guys there who want to talk.
I still get in my training but run over the time I had allotted.
It's tough, you don't want to come off as aloof but you are there to train, right?1 -
I'll say hello or good morning to people when I pass them at the gym. To me that's manners. However I won't talk to people in the middle of a set. That's either their set or mine.2
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Karen_can_do_this wrote: »I'll say hello or good morning to people when I pass them at the gym. To me that's manners. However I won't talk to people in the middle of a set. That's either their set or mine.
Middle of a set? Talking? Never.
Isn't that one of the first rules of gym etiquette?1 -
I've been in the gym for 3/5 of my life and personally have never had any real bad experiences chatting with females. Could be your approach. Many times I just say something nice about their workout, exchange names then tell them to have a good workout. If I see them again I'll ask them how's it going or any fun plans for the weekend. Then let them control how long we talk. If I sense I'm pressing them for time, I apologize and tell them to catch me up later when they have time. There have been times where we talk, they workout and I count their reps and sets.
But again this could be because I'm an employee at every gym I attend and familiarity could help.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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