Good Bad Jokes

13567

Replies

  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    What to vegan zombies eat?
    Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!
  • empresssue
    empresssue Posts: 2,978 Member
    Ode to Tim Kazarinsky:

    What do you call it when your mother commits suicide: matricide.
    What do you call it when she does it on the front doorstep: welcome matricide.
  • Tryin2BeNew
    Tryin2BeNew Posts: 31 Member
    If you need more Salad..




    ....lettuce know!
  • maritza_solis
    maritza_solis Posts: 2 Member
    Mickey and Minnie were getting a divorce ... Mickey's lawyer says 'Mickey you can't divorce Minnie because she's crazy' Mickey replies 'I didn't say she was crazy I said she was *kitten* goody'
  • Jess03171224
    Jess03171224 Posts: 23 Member
    Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing...BTW best thread I've seen in a while on mfp
  • merrysailor88
    merrysailor88 Posts: 1,260 Member
    subcounter wrote: »
    not sure about good but here are some bad ones about papers
    • The paper couldn't decide. It was torn.
    • The paper worked out a lot. It was ripped.
    • The paper was sad. It was tearing up.
    • How does paper use the bathroom? It takes a sheet.
    • How does paper commit suicide? It cuts itself.
    • How does the sheet watch television? Paper-View.
    • The paper saw a ghost. It was paper white.
    • Some paper joined a cult. They were taken into the fold.
    I'll see myself out.

    I laughed entirely too long at these.... @subcounter
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    Which exercise do lazy people prefer?

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    Diddly-squats
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    Pre-Friday Bump::

    What is the best thing about duct tape?

    It turns “No No No!” into “mmm mmm mmm”
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited March 2017
    This content has been removed.
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    2-snowmen standing in a field. One turns to the other and asks,

    ... " Do you smell carrots?"
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks,


    ... "How do you drive this thing?"
  • TheJourneyToFabulous
    TheJourneyToFabulous Posts: 381 Member
    What do you call a camel with 2 humps?






    Pregnant
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    What did Darth Vader say to Emperor Palpatine at the auction?

    What is thy bidding, my master?
  • whitneya773
    whitneya773 Posts: 26 Member
    _har_T_Swallow wrote: »
    Dave breaks into tears, as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

    Omg I laughed. What's wrong with me!?
  • dpack347b
    dpack347b Posts: 41 Member
    Why don't cannibals eat clowns...
    Cause they taste funny.
  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
    The P is silent
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    How does a tree use the internet?
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    He logs on.
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
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    Snowballs.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    What did the Mama bullet say to the Daddy bullet?

    We're having a BB!

  • taco_inspector
    taco_inspector Posts: 7,223 Member
    Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
    They say he made a mint.
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,236 Member
    Joke for kids at Easter.

    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    You neak up on him.

    How do you catch a tame rabbit?
    Tame way.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.

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