Other people's reactions to your weight loss or diet
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I also remember a couple of men who I saw once a week (they run a cycling session I go to) who didn't mention my weight loss at all until I said something about it. Their comments were that they had noticed but didn't want to say anything as they didn't want to offend me.
I also heard a woman in the gym complaining that no-one had commented on her weight loss. She's obese and had lost about 10lbs, which is great. I nearly said to her that no-one made any comments about my weight loss until I'd shifted about 80lbs but she was having such a good time moaning that I was reluctant to spoil her fun . . .8 -
serafinelaveaux wrote: »For the most part everyone was great. Either they were just like, damn you look great, or they were just happy I was leaving more donuts for them.
The few who asked how were hoping I'd tell them I found a pill on a late night infomercial, or I rubbed a magic lamp at Antique Roadshow and got a wish. Sadly no, so they lost interest in causation after that.
The only negative reaction I got was from my mom and she was a real PITA. Since I was obviously losing weight, she had to know how. I told her. Paleo, keeping an eye on total calories, and MMA. Then she had to wield her Google Fu to find every negative article she could dig up about "crash dieting" and email them to me, then call to "discuss" which meant an hour of her yarping at me about how unhealthy I was being because I wasn't living on Lean Cuisines and rice cakes. She'd also call my brothers to discuss my "weight issues" and "unhealthy eating habits" and tell them about how I had diabetes (I do not) and high blood pressure (115/75) and how I'd die of a heart attack before long. That'd get one of them to calling me to try to sell me Isagenix. Seriously, if I wanted to drink my dinner it'd come in a bourbon bottle. She'd go to Whole Foods and buy some uber $$$ whole wheat bread she liked and mail it to me. And of course, get mad because I wouldn't eat it. I'm gluten intolerant and when I eat bread my allergies and asthma think it's time to come for an extended visit, but never mind that. Also I needed to stop MMA because I was too old and would get hurt. Plus it's unladylike. What I needed was a treadmill so I could walk at home. THEN she'd go buy me really ugly, unflattering clothes 2 to 3 sizes larger than I'd ever worn in my life and mail them to me. Crazy train full steam ahead.
okay, this one wins for craziness. Wow. How do you cope with your mum?
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Mostly people don't say anything...except a lot of folks talk to me as if I'm judging them for what they eat? Like they'll have a cookie and say "I know, I'm being bad" or something as if they have to justify their food choices to me and I just...I don't care, eat yr damn cookie. If I hadn't indulged in that mocha with whipped cream earlier, I probs would, too.18
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I used to be around 100 pounds. Then I got in a relationship, started to get comfortable, and the weight piled on. My boyfriend at the time loved to eat out all the time, while I ate every meal at home. The more we ate out together the fatter I got. The heaviest was 150! When I lost 30 pounds and went back to 120, my family members started saying that I was way too skinny now! LOL . But I knew I wanted to lose more. Now I'm 120, a nutritionist, soon to be dietitian and want to lose about 10 more pounds to get back at the weight I was comfortable in! People will say what they want, but it's your body. You are trying to get healthy for yourself so do not let others convince you what your perfect weight should be! You will know it when you have reached your target goal weight. 12
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I feel like mine has been mostly positive.
My mom has asked me a few times how much weight I've lost and how I've done it and stuff like that. My dad says nothing but he never has anything positive to say so I'm not surprised. I haven't seen my extended family in quite a while probably 7-8 months at least and when I post photos usually a few of them will chime in and say things like "lookin good" which I assume means they notice I'm losing but don't want to specifically say it.
NO ONE at work says anything. Not a single one. I started working here in July and have lost about 50 lbs since then and no one has noticed or at least no one has said anything.
It's a little hard to gauge friend reactions. One of my best friends and I do work out challenges together long distance. And every few days we will send each other photos and stuff because we have this inside motivational thing we use to get each other pumped and she says she's noticed a huge difference. My other best friend lives in Florida, she knows I'm trying to lose weight but also never sees me soooo I don't blame her for saying nothing. One of my other friends will make occasional comments about "I wish I looked as slim as you" which is silly because she does weigh like 35 lbs less than me. but I appreciate the comment nonetheless.
I guess it might be kind of hard for me to gauge too because like I said I switched jobs last summer. I also got divorced. So I only still have about 3 people in my life who knew me when I was my heaviest... so it's kind of like "starting over".
I go back and forth between if I want people to notice or not. Someday I'm like "come on people say something I look good" and other days I feel like "well what did I look fat before?!?! don't say anything about it!!!!!"
The more I lose the more I want people to notice that's for sure. But it's because I feel like I look good. So maybe I just want them to notice that I look good... not the weightloss. Idk. It's a mind boggle sometimes.10 -
serafinelaveaux wrote: »For the most part everyone was great. Either they were just like, damn you look great, or they were just happy I was leaving more donuts for them. The few who asked how were hoping I'd tell them I found a pill on a late night infomercial, or I rubbed a magic lamp at Antique Roadshow and got a wish. Sadly no, so they lost interest in causation after that.
The only negative reaction I got was from my mom and she was a real PITA. Since I was obviously losing weight, she had to know how. I told her. Paleo, keeping an eye on total calories, and MMA. Then she had to wield her Google Fu to find every negative article she could dig up about "crash dieting" and email them to me, then call to "discuss" which meant an hour of her yarping at me about how unhealthy I was being because I wasn't living on Lean Cuisines and rice cakes. She'd also call my brothers to discuss my "weight issues" and "unhealthy eating habits" and tell them about how I had diabetes (I do not) and high blood pressure (115/75) and how I'd die of a heart attack before long. That'd get one of them to calling me to try to sell me Isagenix. Seriously, if I wanted to drink my dinner it'd come in a bourbon bottle. She'd go to Whole Foods and buy some uber $$$ whole wheat bread she liked and mail it to me. And of course, get mad because I wouldn't eat it. I'm gluten intolerant and when I eat bread my allergies and asthma think it's time to come for an extended visit, but never mind that. Also I needed to stop MMA because I was too old and would get hurt. Plus it's unladylike. What I needed was a treadmill so I could walk at home. THEN she'd go buy me really ugly, unflattering clothes 2 to 3 sizes larger than I'd ever worn in my life and mail them to me. Crazy train full steam ahead.
OMG, my mother may have a long lost twin in your mother. I'm so sorry because I know EXACTLY what you're going through. That's why I don't talk to my mother, she's toxic. Not necessarily recommending you cut her off, but maybe taking a "break" and simply focus on you. If she asks why you're distant, tell her that right now, you just need to focus on your health and you really don't need nor appreciate the negativity that she brings. It might suck, but it'll be a breath of fresh air in comparison.5 -
I had to laugh the other night , I was at a gathering and someone I haven't seen in months comes up and very loudly asks if I have been sick, I said ya I was sick of being fat. I just wonder what goes through their heads when they ask these questions, this is not someone I would call a friend, just an acquaintance.9
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I love the ones who want you to tell them that you've found a magic weightloss cure. I once borrowed a line from a Victoria Wood (RIP) sitcom, "If you eat an egg before each meal, it eats some of the food for you and so you lose weight". I could see this woman was really thinking this might be the answer, and working in her hed to see if she could eat that many eggs a day, so I put her out of her misery (or back into it!) by explaining about MFP, eating less and doing more exercise. Her disappointment was hilarious - she was our Head of Science, BTW!
Also the ones who say "how come you've lost weight, every time I see you you're eating something and you never turn down a biscuit", so I explain I've pre-logged my food and know what I can have, or that I will have calories to spare because I have an exercise class later.10 -
Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???1
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Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???
"A Lot, it has been QUITE the journey!" And then switch the subject to your latest fitness venture....5 -
Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???
"A Lot, it has been QUITE the journey!" And then switch the subject to your latest fitness venture....
If you have more to lose, then "not enough". If you are goal then "just the right amount".
I've told my boss what I've lost, but that is a hell of a lot different than some random guy asking.1 -
So far, people have been pretty positive
There's a few that act as though they're being naughty or something for eating a cookie around me, which is a bit weird since I eat plenty of 'unhealthy' food myself, but so far everyone's been supportive.
Weirdest thing, food-wise, was someone telling me the only reason why I'm losing weight and they weren't was because I have so much free time to cook healthy food. Guess my two jobs, social life, and family obligations aren't keeping me busy enough lol
Weirdest reaction, fitness-wise, was from a co-worker. I told them that I'm able to run a mile and a half now and they told me that I'm not training properly if I still enjoy running. They followed this up with informing me that I should let them workout with me so they could give me a workout plan and yell at me until I worked harder and saw better results.
I'm sure they meant well (?) but I thought it was a really strange thing to say to someone who's feeling proud of themselves and told them so.10 -
The photos yes! My man didn't notice either until I did a progress pic here. Then he was shocked! He loves how confident I am now, how much more pride I take in myself. I'm down 64lbs with another 80-100 to lose!Madwife2009 wrote: »ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »I can say I was shocked by my husband's reaction to my 25 lb loss. Or should I say lack of reaction, he never said a single word. My sister made a comment and he just seemed to let it fly right by. I said something to him later. "You know, It hurts that you can't even speak on the fact that I lost this much weight. I always let you know that I see your progress when you get in shape." He responded with a heartfelt, "Eh. You look alright." With out so much as glancing in my direction. So yeah. Shocked indeed. And he wonders why this marriage is in the toilet.
I'm sorry that your husband is not appreciating the effort you are making. My husband is much the same, he never comments either BUT when I asked him about it, he says that my appearance never bothered him and that he loves me however I am, be it fat or not so fat. He's never seen me at my current weight (I was much heavier when we met) but also says that as the change is so gradual, he doesn't really notice, and I've lost 133lbs over the last year or so! It's only when he looks at photos of the old me compared to the new me, that he can see the difference. There's no way he'd have noticed a 25lb loss. Men are a bit like that unfortunately; not that I'm defending your husband as I don't know him.
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Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???
Haha.....enough to make you ask, or enough to make me feel better8 -
I have lost about 35. I have a job where I don't see people on an everyday basis, but rather ever couple of months. I have noticed people look at me funny like something is different, but they don't seem sure about what it is....7
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When people notice, I get all positive reactions with the actual weight loss. There have been a few times though that I have been out to eat with my fiance's family, and feel like I am a little judged with the food I order. Like we were out to breakfast once with his mom, grandparents, and aunt and uncle. We were at Denny's and I ordered egg whites with hashbrowns. Later the waiter came and told me they were out of egg whites, but they had already made regular eggs instead (don't know how you can be out of egg whites when you have real eggs) and if those would be okay. I turned them down and just ate the hash browns. I had already planned my meals for the day, and the flavor of the eggs were not worth it to me to go over my calories at the end of the day. His mom looked down at his aunt and uncle and said, "She's really strict with herself." I know she wasn't trying to be mean, but it made me a little mad. Just because I am not ordering cinnamon pancakes and am more conscious with my food choices than everyone else at the table doesn't mean I am being "strict." It means I am choosing which foods are worth my calories and which ones I could do without.8
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I get one of the following from my recent 15 pound loss over 2 months
1. Girls in my Pilates/spin class- don't notice so no comments
2. Others that ask me if I'm trying to lose weight- "wow! You don't need to lose that much" then they proceed to criticize my program as being wrong, too much this or that
Honestly I just don't talk about it anymore with people I see everyday which is why I'm on this platform.2 -
only lost 30 pounds so far, but they are thrilled!2
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I prefer when people say nothing, my drop of 35 lbs makes me happy and I did it for me.
Answering questions and comments from others just makes me uncomfortable.
While I don't mind a person saying they notice and I look much better, I much prefer to fly under the radar.
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I get the weird comment "you look beautiful the way you are!" when I say I'm eating better and trying to be more active. It's like, hey, thanks, that's kind of you and all but I'm about 100 pounds heavier than I ought to be and definitely not as healthy as I would like to be. Aesthetics isn't necessarily my main motivator here. I don't want to die before I'm 30.6
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I have gone from a size 6 to a size 16 to a size 10 (current size). No one has commented unless I bring it up first.
When I was at my heaviest two women asked me when I was due - THAT sucked. I gain all my weight like a guy - big old gut.
I guess you never know why someone has gained/lost weight. Medical issues, stress, etc. I would hate be like" OMG you lost 20 pounds and look great" when they were really sick with cancer, depression, etc. it's a weird conversation starter.2 -
amymoreorless wrote: »I guess you never know why someone has gained/lost weight. Medical issues, stress, etc. I would hate be like" OMG you lost 20 pounds and look great" when they were really sick with cancer, depression, etc. it's a weird conversation starter.
That's true, I guess! A while ago, the bank teller that we've seen nearly every week for the past few years finally commented after I'd lost close to 50lbs - she said I looked like I'd lost weight, and cautiously asked if it was "deliberate". When I responded that it was, she brightened up and congratulated me, saying that she'd lost about the same amount herself several years ago. She'd been worried that I was losing weight through illness but hadn't really liked to ask.
All the way home I was trying to remember what she'd looked like when we first started to visit the bank, and whether I should have noticed her loss or if it was before we knew her!5 -
I have these people in my life:
The 'saboteur' who always tries to get me to eat more than I want and actually brings treats to put on my desk. Like WTF??
The 'incredulous one'. "Wow, what diet are you on? How have you done this? What are you taking? Are you taking something?"
The 'jealous one'. "You're so skinny now. I'll never be as fit as you. You're so skinny. You should probably stop."
My favourite: The 'supportive one'. Who goes shopping with me when I need to get a new (smaller) bra and helps me feel great about everything I've accomplished!
It always amazes me how people are so different and their reactions so curious ... regardless of how they react it's my life and I'm doing what I need to do to feel good in it.
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And now for something completely different:
I saw a former coworker in Walmart recently. She stopped me and gushed about how much weight I've lost. She was really piling on the compliments! It was a nice feeling... for a little while. She was a serial dieter when we worked together. I noticed she had lost some weight, but nothing drastic. I said, "You look like you've lost weight, too! Good for you!"
"Oh. I guess you haven't heard. I have breast cancer."
OMFG. This is EXACTLY why people avoid mentioning weight loss/gain. Ugh. No coming back from that one.
(Also, don't worry. Her prognosis is very good.)14 -
LOTS of people have had a really bad reaction to me losing weight! My partner says I am getting too skinny and I've had co workers , family and friends say I should stay the same weight I am now and stop losing anymore! It frustrates me because my goal weight is within healthy BMI and I have been losing weight the healthy way!(eating properly and through exercise!) I also want to have less fat and be more toned and strong so I can climb better yet so many people think I must be anorexic cause I want to lose weight! Ignorance is frustrating.3
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Coworkers ask me what I'm doing, say I look great, but then I realize they don't actually care about me. They just want "the secret."7
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Tacklewasher wrote: »Well I had another one tonight, I participate in a mainly mens sport and we had our league opener and I am seeing some people for the first time and got many nice compliments but then another guy asked as soon as I sat down to eat. So How much weight have you really lost....I think I was shocked so I said the amount but then felt weird afterwards,,,,I need a good line as I feel this is not the last time this will happen. Anyone have any ideas???
"A Lot, it has been QUITE the journey!" And then switch the subject to your latest fitness venture....
If you have more to lose, then "not enough". If you are goal then "just the right amount".
I've told my boss what I've lost, but that is a hell of a lot different than some random guy asking.
Agree with you all.. In my experience, people look at you funny and try to visualize where all those pounds were coming from.2 -
kingleahnidas wrote: »Coworkers ask me what I'm doing, say I look great, but then I realize they don't actually care about me. They just want "the secret."
THIS!! They want "the magic pill" that I'm using. HA! Yeah, it's that pill called busting my hump at the gym 6 days a week and tracking everything that I eat.
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I have had two reactions that have mattered more than anything else. The first is my husband. I've dieted so many times in our many years together and he's never really said anything. But, this time I'm doing it for me, and my head is in the right place. Now, I've lost about 20lbs. and he's noticed. Last week, he told me how proud he is of me, how amazing I look, and has asked me to help him join me so he can lose weight, too. That was amazing to me. The second is my grandmother. She has always been worried about my health because of my weight and when she saw me over Easter weekend, she was so happy and proud of me for how much weight I had lost and just to see that in her face and hear her tell me that...it just meant so much.
A handful of other people have commented...but those are the two who really mattered.18
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