True Confessions - Don't Judge

abitoftrouble wrote: »

browneyedgirl749 wrote: »

_dixiana_ wrote: »

MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »

Carillon_Campanello wrote: »

_dixiana_ wrote: »

@Carillon_Campanello wrote: »

I confess I despise being called "handsome".
Like nails up and down a chalk board. I have always considered it a "you're cute" comment. Like "hey you're a 5.5-6.5-ish but there are better options out there."

To further compound my spite for this label the first time I let a woman call me this openly she broke my heart into a million pieces.

So now every time someone calls me that it reminds me of her and reopens a wound.

The end.

Oh, sad sad. Telling someone they look handsome is one of my favorite compliments to give men (whom I have the right rapport with). I don't think it's on the same level as "cute". Cute is for boys, handsome is for men.

Hearing handsome = "You're good looking for a not hot guy."

Ducky was handsome.

Oh no! I use handsome to describe good looking guys I'd date...hope no one took it as "not hot"

Yes, exactly.

And to add to my original comment....As a woman, I'd rather be called beautiful than hot. Because beautiful encompasses more than just physical attractiveness, it also encompasses character. The male equivalent to beautiful, in my eyes, is handsome.

Someone who is good looking but an *kitten*, is not handsome.

This right here...

Personally, I am grateful for any positive comment. I spent so many years being invisible and feeling like a monster that if a person chooses to make mention of something positive, I appreciate it.

cabronlobos wrote: »

I'm on board with not being thrilled with being called "handsome". It's different if it's used as an adjective, that's a little better. Handsome is usually the polite way to tell a man he's not hideous....."oh don't listen to them, you're handsome" kind of thing. Definitely the cookie cutter response that a man will feel not meant went into commenting on my looks. Kind of like "yeah, you're pretty" to a woman. No real thought, just a pat on the back. Not a horrible thing, but used so commonly that when I look around and see who's getting called handsome, I'm thinking ok, that's everybody, not really impressed.

It's when someone says to me "hey handsome" that my skin crawls. Might as well just say hey sport.....champ.... big guy......chief......any irrelevant name that someone may dole out that has a somewhat condescending reference to a positive meaning.

There is nothing wrong with being described as handsome, just like being said you are pretty to a woman is not bad either. But me personally, if I were to find a woman attractive, pretty is only used in describing a specific thing, pretty smile, type thing......not just the casual brush over compliment that is reserved for everyone.....;)

lstrat115 wrote: »

cabronlobos wrote: »

kitty_meow_meow_ wrote: »

I think complaining about being called handsome is ridiculous. If you are basing how you feel about yourself compared to the drivel that gets spouted on mfp, please put down your phone and start to live in reality. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. To be offended when someone says a kindness such as "you are handsome" is some kind of nerve.

I personally don't let anyone control how I feel about myself whether it be in real life or the internet. I am the only one who controls that. I just think it's generally lazy generic term and does nothing for me. I will amend that with saying, who it comes from makes a difference in how it's perceived to me.

I find lazy people to not be offensive, but more like uninteresting. So I'm never offended by a kind word, but I take it with a grain of salt based on where it comes from.

Pretty much anything said to you on the internet or MFP should be taken with a grain of salt......

I agree with the rest of these ladies. Handsome is a true compliment. We are all telling you all what we mean by it and yet it still isn't good enough. That is a shame, but I suppose women do the same. I bet lots of girls are offended by being called cute.

Noting that I will not call any of you men handsome again, but I probably won't call you anything because now I have to worry as to whether my words will be offensive even though they are meant to be kind. Can't win around this *kitten* place.