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Fat Acceptance Movement
Replies
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You know what I wish? I wish people acted with good manners even if they couldn't manage to be considerate or kind people. If good manners and treating every person as a worthwhile human being were the universal standard, none of these postmodern theories of power and identity would gain any traction.10
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The movement itself is unhealthy. It has nothing to do with "leave me alone while I find my own path to getting to a healthy weight." It is "shut up and accept as I am because I don't care what society says is a healthy weight."
Yes, that is exactly what it is. It is "accept me as I am and don't reduce me to my body". I think that is a very healthy approach.Many fat people are guilty of thin shaming.
Really? I am pretty fit, and I have never had to endure abuse by someone who's fat. The myth of "thin shaming by fat people" reminds me of "reverse racism" - yes, it's possible in theory, but it's a false equivalence, because we live in a society where being thin or normal weight comes with many privileges, while being fat is associated with loads of stigmas.I'm not skinny. But I'm no longer one of those people that passengers pray isn't sitting next to them as I board a plane.
Good for you, really. And, sure, I don't like being squeezed in my seat by someone who is too wide for theirs, either. I am almost certain their plane journey is less comfortable than mine, however, and "fat shaming" them isn't going to help either of us.
I believe that being fit and being at a normal weight has real benefits, and if somebody who feels they are overweight or unfit and want to change it, I am happy to encourage it, or help them if they ask. But, more importantly, I believe everyone should be made to feel happy in their own body.9 -
tomaattikastike wrote: »Many fat people are guilty of thin shaming.
Really? I am pretty fit, and I have never had to endure abuse by someone who's fat. The myth of "thin shaming by fat people" reminds me of "reverse racism" - yes, it's possible in theory, but it's a false equivalence, because we live in a society where being thin or normal weight comes with many privileges, while being fat is associated with loads of stigmas.
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My husband and siblings are all pretty thin & the comments people make are thin shaming. Although it’s done by people of all sizes. One my husband posted a picture of us on social media and he had at least “jokes” about how thin he looked before he took it down.
Although I do agree that being fat comes with stigmas way beyond what is placed on someone thin. Until they are thin enough to look like they have an ED- then I think the same types of stigmas are placed.1 -
tomaattikastike wrote: »The movement itself is unhealthy. It has nothing to do with "leave me alone while I find my own path to getting to a healthy weight." It is "shut up and accept as I am because I don't care what society says is a healthy weight."
Yes, that is exactly what it is. It is "accept me as I am and don't reduce me to my body". I think that is a very healthy approach.Many fat people are guilty of thin shaming.
Really? I am pretty fit, and I have never had to endure abuse by someone who's fat. The myth of "thin shaming by fat people" reminds me of "reverse racism" - yes, it's possible in theory, but it's a false equivalence, because we live in a society where being thin or normal weight comes with many privileges, while being fat is associated with loads of stigmas.
Thin shaming definitely exists - recall Calista Flockhart when she was on TV (can't remember the name of the show). She is a very thin woman and every week there was some gossip column or Access Hollywood expose on how she was actually an anorexic in denial, or bulimic or some other such nonsense crap being spouted about her.4 -
tomaattikastike wrote: »The movement itself is unhealthy. It has nothing to do with "leave me alone while I find my own path to getting to a healthy weight." It is "shut up and accept as I am because I don't care what society says is a healthy weight."
Yes, that is exactly what it is. It is "accept me as I am and don't reduce me to my body". I think that is a very healthy approach.Many fat people are guilty of thin shaming.
Really? I am pretty fit, and I have never had to endure abuse by someone who's fat. The myth of "thin shaming by fat people" reminds me of "reverse racism" - yes, it's possible in theory, but it's a false equivalence, because we live in a society where being thin or normal weight comes with many privileges, while being fat is associated with loads of stigmas.
Thin shaming definitely exists - recall Calista Flockhart when she was on TV (can't remember the name of the show). She is a very thin woman and every week there was some gossip column or Access Hollywood expose on how she was actually an anorexic in denial, or bulimic or some other such nonsense crap being spouted about her.
I don't think she was ashamed. She co-wrote the Ally McBeal episode featuring the scene where she was sitting on the toilet and fell into the bowl due her, um, diminutive frame. "Ally fell and she can't get up". Remember? Do you think she would have played the lead role as a hotshot career gal sexy pretty lawyer in a prime time TV show in the 1990s if she was a fat girl?
She personally wasn't ashamed of her figure, but she was frequently 'shamed' for her figure.3 -
I can't believe anybody actually doubts that overweight people shame thin people.
How many threads a DAY come up on here where people talk about fat people in their life telling them they're "getting too thin" or "why don't they take a break." How many times have you heard a man say “give her a sandwich” about a thin woman?
What do you think that is?
And it absolutely causes shame. If it didn’t there wouldn’t be so many people coming here stressed about it.14 -
I'm sure I'm taking this too literally but to say someone is "shamed" means the result would be shame. Which is rarely, if ever, the case with thin people as opposed to fat people. Ridiculed would be the word. Thin people get ridiculed occasionally for being what is perceived to be too thin. They look great in both tailored power suits and evening gowns alike though so I think they'll be okay.
I'd say you're right. But the term that has recently become popularized is "fat shaming" So that's what people are discussing.0 -
Leave them alone, remember...
Obesity - Saving Social Security One Chicken Wing at a Time10 -
Shaming is wrong.
Justifying one form of shaming while disparaging another just makes you a jackwagon.4 -
I don't doubt that people, and especially women, get body-shamed whatever their size - and that is wrong. My point was that, when we discuss "fat shaming" and "thin shaming", we cannot do that outside of the context of our society, where normal-weight and thin people have many privileges that fat people don't. I quite like this piece - the point I was trying to make is illustrated in the third section, but of course, the others are important, too: https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/skinny-shaming-not-reverse-discrimination/
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Like what "privileges"tomaattikastike wrote: »I don't doubt that people, and especially women, get body-shamed whatever their size - and that is wrong. My point was that, when we discuss "fat shaming" and "thin shaming", we cannot do that outside of the context of our society, where normal-weight and thin people have many privileges that fat people don't. I quite like this piece - the point I was trying to make is illustrated in the third section, but of course, the others are important, too: https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/10/skinny-shaming-not-reverse-discrimination/
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I can't believe anybody actually doubts that overweight people shame thin people.
How many threads a DAY come up on here where people talk about fat people in their life telling them they're "getting too thin" or "why don't they take a break." How many times have you heard a man say “give her a sandwich” about a thin woman?
What do you think that is?
And it absolutely causes shame. If it didn’t there wouldn’t be so many people coming here stressed about it.
Agreed. Overweight people shame thin people all the time. Especially overweight women...if I had a dollar for every time I've heard an overweight woman make some comment about "REAL women's" bodies...I would be a billionaire. They seem to think that if you don't need to shop in the plus size department you are somehow less of a woman. And how many times have we heard people say "real women have curves". Seriously...it is really no better than insulting a fat woman.6 -
Like this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/11522021/Nearly-half-of-employers-unlikely-to-hire-overweight-workers.html
Or this: http://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/obesity-affects-job-prospects-for-women-study-finds/
Or, indeed, not to suffer from constant bullying for their body shape.6 -
tomaattikastike wrote: »Like this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/11522021/Nearly-half-of-employers-unlikely-to-hire-overweight-workers.html
Or this: http://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/obesity-affects-job-prospects-for-women-study-finds/
Or, indeed, not to suffer from constant bullying for their body shape.
Still not seeing "privilege". Employers can hire who they want to. I don't hire people who are unkempt, inept, had a boogey hanging out their nose during an interview, I didn't like their hairstyle etc. Obese people are going to have higher cost associated with them, possible "special" requirements and accommodations, and it can be perceived as a poor mark on their character.6 -
@suzannesimmons3, sorry, I was replying to @russeljam08, even though it appeared directly under your post. But I don't accept you calling it a "moot" point when you haven't even read the links I provided.3
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suzannesimmons3 wrote: »tomaattikastike wrote: »Like this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/11522021/Nearly-half-of-employers-unlikely-to-hire-overweight-workers.html
Or this: http://www.manchester.ac.uk/discover/news/obesity-affects-job-prospects-for-women-study-finds/
Or, indeed, not to suffer from constant bullying for their body shape.
Fat women bully other women over body shape so that's a moot point.
Not in the world I live in. Maybe in some subcultures, but certainly not one I've ever known.
It's wrong, obviously, if and when it happens, but I've been normal weight and felt fat and bad and super conscious of all my imperfections (not saying that was anyone's issue but mine), and I've been fat and knew darned well I was considered unattractive and largely a failure as a woman, and I've been normal weight (and even thin) and fit again and felt, finally, normal, although still like I could lose some weight.
I've been told "wow, so thin" and "you don't need to lose more weight" and in context it was clearly a compliment.
And fat is not the same as curvy. Some people (men and women) prefer curves, some don't, but while "real women have curves" might well be a defensive thing some women tell themselves, I really don't believe that anyone thinks it is socially preferable to be fat. Indeed, in my subculture it's almost always thinner is better, although fit and in shape is better generally than just skinny. (And I don't think anyone should be judging anyone else's bodies, this is just how I see what the reality is.)
This all aside, I don't actually see women bullying each other over body shape (fat to thin or thin to fat) and if I was in a social circle where that happened I'd find a new social circle. I get positive comments when thin and felt like I was getting some pity or "too bad you let yourself go" when fat, but most of the way I felt about it in both cases was all in my head and related to how good I felt (or not).8 -
Moved to smoking/obese thread.
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GaleHawkins wrote: »Is withholding surgery to obese people because they are obese a form of fat shaming? Is this movement coming to North America or is it already here?
telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/17/nhs-provokes-fury-indefinite-surgery-ban-smokers-obese/
Nope. It's a risk evaluation. In most cases, the higher level of obesity the less chance of success from the surgery. Or they might not survive the surgery.1 -
The most vocal members of that crowd are generally just kind of awful.
For most people though, denial of health risks down the road is the worst thing they have going for them. If I had to choose for another person, I'd rather they be in denial and love themselves than be in denial and participate in their own dehumanization.3 -
I don’t think it’s right to shame fat people, but I also don’t think it’s better than other vices, like smoking, or drinking. It does affect other people, and costs tax payers money. It’s annoying to me that it’s socially acceptable to be fat (and even to make your children fat!), but not to smoke or drink.2
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