We broke up because...
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he liked a thicker booty0
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I booted his arsse right out the door!0
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She kicked and punched during the night and I woke up battered.
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his face fuzz tickled0
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He was always playing tickle tickle with a guy named Striper0
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She wouldn't stop tickling my Elmo0
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He carried an Elmo Around EVERYWHERE!0
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His Elmo literally GIGGLED!0
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He was always tickling his ex's elmo0
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she liked to use baby talk but not just a voice. She would say goo goo and ga ga during climax0
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When I teased her about her Elmo, she kicked me in my Bert & Ernie!0
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he believed Bert and Ernie were straight0
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He left Bert at the Alter0
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During sexy time she would give me a count-down, like the Count on Sesame Street!0
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was obssessed with children's shows and dressed as a furry0
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I didn't understand what a furry was and wouldn't attend Comic Con with him.0
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he wouldn't attend comicon w me0
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I wouldn't dress up as a superhero and go to the geek conventions with him0
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he assumed I was a comic book nerd.0
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He collected Hello Kitty Memorabilia0
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She wanted me to be part of her male MFP collection.0
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She said I was just another notch in her headboard. I was crushed.0
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He didnt wanna do karate in the garage with me and never got my Step Brothers references .. a travesty0
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I always hurt her doing karate in the garage b/c she always let her hands down when she kicked.0
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He told me the Stone Cold Stunner was overrated ...0
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She never wanted to watch movies with me0
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All he wanted to do was stay home... Netflix and Chill!
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He never wanted to go out with me!0
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He woke up when I fell asleep, crazy opposites0
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I always wanted to stay home... Netflix and Chill with her... she wasn't interested.0
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