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Breastfeeding older kids (over 12mths old)
Replies
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peckchris3267 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »My sister breast fed her sons until they were 5 years old. It was very awkward when they asked her for "nummies" while I was there.
for you, not them, presumably?
Yes, for me because watching my sister breastfeeding a 5 year old is not something I wanted to do.
So don't watch?
In my own house? Why should I compromise. I had no problem with her breastfeeding an infant but a 5 year old is a different story. This isn't an anti breastfeeding issue.
then what is it?
She shouldn't be breastfeeding a 5 year old. We aren't an impoverished 3rd world country where it might be a necessity. It is not psychologically healthy.
And I don't want to see it. I have no problem with women breastfeeding infants in public but there comes an age where it is no longer necessary or appropriate.
So don't look.
so tell her you dont want her breastfeeding in your house if you feel so strongly... i'm sure that will go down just fine....4 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »My sister breast fed her sons until they were 5 years old. It was very awkward when they asked her for "nummies" while I was there.
for you, not them, presumably?
Yes, for me because watching my sister breastfeeding a 5 year old is not something I wanted to do.
So don't watch?
In my own house? Why should I compromise. I had no problem with her breastfeeding an infant but a 5 year old is a different story. This isn't an anti breastfeeding issue.
then what is it?
She shouldn't be breastfeeding a 5 year old. We aren't an impoverished 3rd world country where it might be a necessity. It is not psychologically healthy.
And I don't want to see it. I have no problem with women breastfeeding infants in public but there comes an age where it is no longer necessary or appropriate.
technically speaking, breastfeeding is no longer necessary from birth, thanks to the creation of formula milk...7 -
There is no benefit to prolonged breastfeeding. It is not in the best interest of the child, it's all in the selfish interest of the mother.24
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This thread has not disappointed.18
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I just took a breastfeeding class last night and the current advice the medical professionals (at least in my area) seem to be agreeing on is:
-breastfeeding is best if you can do it, there is alot of science to back that up for health/immune benefits
-start introducing solids around 6 months They seem to advise you mostly start with grains, go to veggies, fruits, then proteins (I am guessing this order has something to do with ease of digestions, but am honestly not sure on that). Start with single ingredient items so in the event of an allergic reaction its easy to identify what the problem is.
- It takes a while to transition onto solids fully so they still need the breastmilk/formula up to 12 months, then you can replace with other milk and/or water.
As for the night feedings: most of what I have seen is as long as your kid is getting enough nutrition (as determined by their gaining weight at an appropriate rate) it is ok to work on phasing out the night feedings. If your baby is still struggling to gain then they advise you to keep doing night feedings as demanded, or wake your kid up to eat if they happen to be sleeping through the night on their own.
These seem to be the "generally accepted guidelines" right now. Obviously, you can find professionals that promote whatever you want if you look hard enough.8 -
There's no benefit to taking a kid to a fast food restaurant instead of a healthy home cooked meal or letting them sit in front of a TV all day but most people don't voice an opinion on it or find it awkward .9
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Someone already beat me to the World Health Organization recommendation. I breastfed my two biological children for ~14months. My oldest is 22 and back in the day, the Dr. told me I needed to set an alarm and feed him every 2hrs around the clock. You can imagine how much sleep I got. Especially because he was a slow nurser so it took him almost 2hrs to finish. LOL You can bet I didn't do that with the second one.
Also, I am highly suspicious of the health benefits over bottle feeding. Out of my three children, it was the bottle fed one that was healthiest.8 -
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I'm 100% in agreement with you @peckchris3267 A 5 year old does not need to be breastfed, heck i still think there's no need to breastfeed or bottle feed over 12mths old, let alone a school age child But that's just me, my opinion and how i did it with my own kids,my brother and sister did the same thing with their kids. I have a 2 year old grandchild and my daughter in law followed the same protocol as us.
Reading @4legsRbetterthan2 post, things have obviously changed in some places, as mine started solids at 8 weeks old, not 6mths.9 -
There's no benefit to taking a kid to a fast food restaurant instead of a healthy home cooked meal or letting them sit in front of a TV all day but most people don't voice an opinion on it or find it awkward .
I think many people would have a strong opinion on this, and plenty would voice it I'd say..
And FTR this thread is NOT bashing breastfeeding or whatever, I was genuinely curious why things have changed so much since mine were bubs.4 -
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Also, I am highly suspicious of the health benefits over bottle feeding. Out of my three children, it was the bottle fed one that was healthiest.
There does seem to be quite a bit of research indicating breastmilk fed babies tend to be healthier than formula fed. There is also quite a bit of antibodies which get passed through colostrum so I definitely believe at least a couple days of breast feeding would make a difference. After that I am not totally sold.
@Christine_72 that's interesting. I know hubs says his mom was putting ground cheerios in his bottle after a couple months and it helped him get through the night. I was wondering about that trick, obviously didnt do him any harm. Not sure why they pushed solids back to 6 months now, will have to look into that more.2 -
There's no benefit to taking a kid to a fast food restaurant instead of a healthy home cooked meal or letting them sit in front of a TV all day but most people don't voice an opinion on it or find it awkward .
I think plenty of people would voice an opinion on that...
And really...do you not find a 5 year old breast feeding to be awkward and unusual? I have a five year old...he's in kinder...I can't even imagine.14 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »My sister breast fed her sons until they were 5 years old. It was very awkward when they asked her for "nummies" while I was there.
for you, not them, presumably?
Yes, for me because watching my sister breastfeeding a 5 year old is not something I wanted to do.
So don't watch?
In my own house? Why should I compromise. I had no problem with her breastfeeding an infant but a 5 year old is a different story. This isn't an anti breastfeeding issue.
then what is it?
She shouldn't be breastfeeding a 5 year old. We aren't an impoverished 3rd world country where it might be a necessity. It is not psychologically healthy.
And I don't want to see it. I have no problem with women breastfeeding infants in public but there comes an age where it is no longer necessary or appropriate.
So don't look.
Or you can ask her to leave.... Or you know tell her how you really feel.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissism-epidemic/201205/it-s-not-the-breastfeeding-s-wrong-it-s-the-indulgence?amp
I did not find this article convincing of anything. Basically, this one mom saying certain things wouldn't work for her, which is fine. But there is nothing here that gives anything but her subjective opinion on various topics.
She has a bad back so baby wearing wouldn't work for her. Well, as someone with a perfectly fine back baby wearing seems a heck of alot easier than taking a stroller everywhere if I don't want to. These are just opinions though, not proof of anything. This article is of no substance.
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cwolfman13 wrote: »There's no benefit to taking a kid to a fast food restaurant instead of a healthy home cooked meal or letting them sit in front of a TV all day but most people don't voice an opinion on it or find it awkward .
I think plenty of people would voice an opinion on that...
And really...do you not find a 5 year old breast feeding to be awkward and unusual? I have a five year old...he's in kinder...I can't even imagine.
My point was more about the fact that this wouldn't be an issue if we accepted that this is what breasts are meant for. I don't think the awkwardness has anything to do with the fact that the child may not be getting any health benefits for them. I think it's like anything like toilet training and such- the child will eventually give it up or maybe there is just so many other worse things going on in the world I think this shouldn't be an issue10 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »There's no benefit to taking a kid to a fast food restaurant instead of a healthy home cooked meal or letting them sit in front of a TV all day but most people don't voice an opinion on it or find it awkward .
I think plenty of people would voice an opinion on that...
And really...do you not find a 5 year old breast feeding to be awkward and unusual? I have a five year old...he's in kinder...I can't even imagine.
My point was more about the fact that this wouldn't be an issue if we accepted that this is what breasts are meant for. I don't think the awkwardness has anything to do with the fact that the child may not be getting any health benefits for them. I think it's like anything like toilet training and such- the child will eventually give it up or maybe there is just so many other worse things going on in the world I think this shouldn't be an issue
You are trying to make this into something that it's not.
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Once the kid can start asking for it in full sentences, I feel it's time to stop. Or if there are medical issues, it's fine to stop early- such as someone going off their psych meds while preggo bc they can hurt the baby. Please get right back on them, baby would rather have a stable mom than breast milk.10
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I do find it slightly odd that anyone would claim someone was breastfeeding a child for selfish reasons. It isn't fun!
I made the decision to stop breastfeeding my toddler a couple of months after his second birthday as it was driving me mad and he barely needed/wanted it any more. But full-term breastfeeding isn't a bad thing and is practised in plenty of cultures around the world.
This is an interesting article about it.7 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »My sister breast fed her sons until they were 5 years old. It was very awkward when they asked her for "nummies" while I was there.
for you, not them, presumably?
Yes, for me because watching my sister breastfeeding a 5 year old is not something I wanted to do.
So don't watch?
In my own house? Why should I compromise. I had no problem with her breastfeeding an infant but a 5 year old is a different story. This isn't an anti breastfeeding issue.
then what is it?
She shouldn't be breastfeeding a 5 year old. We aren't an impoverished 3rd world country where it might be a necessity. It is not psychologically healthy.
And I don't want to see it. I have no problem with women breastfeeding infants in public but there comes an age where it is no longer necessary or appropriate.
So don't look.
Or you can ask her to leave.... Or you know tell her how you really feel.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-narcissism-epidemic/201205/it-s-not-the-breastfeeding-s-wrong-it-s-the-indulgence?amp
I did not find this article convincing of anything. Basically, this one mom saying certain things wouldn't work for her, which is fine. But there is nothing here that gives anything but her subjective opinion on various topics.
She has a bad back so baby wearing wouldn't work for her. Well, as someone with a perfectly fine back baby wearing seems a heck of alot easier than taking a stroller everywhere if I don't want to. These are just opinions though, not proof of anything. This article is of no substance.
I absolutely detest strollers, awkward things. So much easier to just carry the child. I still do it now that she's 3. She just rides up on my shoulders instead of in a carrier. But then, I'm in really good shape, so... I can understand that someone less physically fit just couldn't do that on the long hikes we like to go on.
And for the record, we only quit breastfeeding a few months ago, and only then because I set her up to quit. Otherwise that child would have kept going right into preschool, not that there's anything wrong with that. The idea that breastfeeding that long is selfish on the part of the mother is absolutely laughable. It was selfish of me to cut her off, but I was so over it, and I had to wait to get my Lasik done until we were done nursing.8 -
I don't see that the mother is being selfish8
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I don't see that the mother is being selfish
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peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Hahaha
I was breastfed until the age of almost 4 and have experienced no psychological issues.
I know precisely zero mothers who carry on feeding their older children for their own benefit. Every one I know is more exasperated with it than anything else!16 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Dude, you're just wrong. At least according to the Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/extended-breastfeeding/art-20046962
But what do they know about health-stuff.9 -
maryjaquiss wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Hahaha
I was breastfed until the age of almost 4 and have experienced no psychological issues.
I know precisely zero mothers who carry on feeding their older children for their own benefit. Every one I know is more exasperated with it than anything else!
7 -
@Christine_72 that's interesting. I know hubs says his mom was putting ground cheerios in his bottle after a couple months and it helped him get through the night. I was wondering about that trick, obviously didnt do him any harm. Not sure why they pushed solids back to 6 months now, will have to look into that more.
After doing some googling here are a couple thoughts:
There seems to be some debate over when the baby's gut is ready to start digesting things other than breast milk or formula. I didn't find a whole lot of info on that yet though, but it would probably be interesting to investigate further.
There are some marked physical milestones they look for before advising starting solids; kid can sit up, starting to get teeth, ability to chew. To go along with these, there seems to be an unclear definition of what solids are exactly. It seems like anything but breastmilk/formula (BM/F for the rest of this post) is pretty much considered a "solid". Due to that I am a little on the fence with these ones, if you are literally grinding up a cereal and dissolving it in the liquid of choice then it doesn't seem that these physical milestones would be necessary. If you are talking about handing your kid a handful of cereal to munch on then I would think they were.
Then there are a couple ideas based around proper nutrition.
I suspect some of the pushing back these recommendations may have been made simply due to public lack of knowledge about nutrition.
Dissolving something in BM/F and feeding to baby could be a good supplement while still providing a well rounded diet. Then I also found some old baby food recipes that were literally dissolve a tbsp on flour in water, sweeten with a bit of sugar if you want, and this is suffient as a meal for baby. So, if that's what people are doing I see where professionals would rather just tell people no solids until 6 months. I think we have the nutrition information and food options in today's society where we can do intelligent supplementation, but that still doesn't mean people would make good choices.
WHO suggest breastfeeding much longer than the US does. I think this largely results from WHO pulling statistics from all over the world (including 3rd world countries). When you start including stats from 3rd world countries where there are limited ingredients and unsafe water sources then I can definitely see why breastfeeding would be the safer recommendation.5 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »maryjaquiss wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Hahaha
I was breastfed until the age of almost 4 and have experienced no psychological issues.
I know precisely zero mothers who carry on feeding their older children for their own benefit. Every one I know is more exasperated with it than anything else!
Do you have children?
I breastfed until my child was two for a couple of reasons. Firstly because it's what the World Health Organisation recommends. And secondly because I was guided by my child and what he wanted, and that's the common theme among all the mothers I know.
Did you read the article I posted above for a different cultural perspective?
In nature, you'd expect children to breastfeed up until they lose their milk teeth, FYI - hence "milk" teeth - which is when they would lose their latch naturally.7 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »maryjaquiss wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Hahaha
I was breastfed until the age of almost 4 and have experienced no psychological issues.
I know precisely zero mothers who carry on feeding their older children for their own benefit. Every one I know is more exasperated with it than anything else!
Much like milk, the benefits of nursing for the child do not magically dry up at 12 months. Nutrition, improved immunity, reduced risk of illness over the course of the child's entire life just to name a few from the Mayo clinic article above.6 -
peckchris3267 wrote: »maryjaquiss wrote: »peckchris3267 wrote: »I don't see that the mother is being selfish
Hahaha
I was breastfed until the age of almost 4 and have experienced no psychological issues.
I know precisely zero mothers who carry on feeding their older children for their own benefit. Every one I know is more exasperated with it than anything else!
None of your business.
I breastfed mine until they weaned naturally. One was 4, the other was 4 1/2. I semi-encouraged the 4 1/2 year old, because I was over it.
It had nothing to do with my needs, and everything to do with my child's.
Breast feeding is not just about nourishment, and if you think that's all it is, you don't understand it.
If you think breastfeeding for comfort is going to skew a child into thinking food = comfort, think again.
Both of my kids are a healthy weight and have no issues around food. One is an adult and the other is a growing teenager.23 -
HealthyBodySickMind wrote: »
And for the record, we only quit breastfeeding a few months ago, and only then because I set her up to quit. Otherwise that child would have kept going right into preschool, not that there's anything wrong with that. The idea that breastfeeding that long is selfish on the part of the mother is absolutely laughable. It was selfish of me to cut her off, but I was so over it, and I had to wait to get my Lasik done until we were done nursing.
From what I have read, it seems like breastfeeding for school age kids is more about comfort for the kid than necessarily nutrition. Personally, by the time my kid is having to spend significant amounts of time away from me (which for me will be fairly quickly since I plan to return to work after 10 weeks) I would want them to have been weened off using that as a comfort mechanism, since it is no longer readily available to them. I guess I would just worry about them getting upset at school, wanting a boob, and not knowing how to cope. Not a mom yet, expecting my first in a month, so this is all just my hypothetical theories.8 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »HealthyBodySickMind wrote: »
And for the record, we only quit breastfeeding a few months ago, and only then because I set her up to quit. Otherwise that child would have kept going right into preschool, not that there's anything wrong with that. The idea that breastfeeding that long is selfish on the part of the mother is absolutely laughable. It was selfish of me to cut her off, but I was so over it, and I had to wait to get my Lasik done until we were done nursing.
From what I have read, it seems like breastfeeding for school age kids is more about comfort for the kid than necessarily nutrition. Personally, by the time my kid is having to spend significant amounts of time away from me (which for me will be fairly quickly since I plan to return to work after 10 weeks) I would want them to have been weened off using that as a comfort mechanism, since it is not longer readily available to them. I guess I would just worry about them getting upset at school, wanting a boob, and not knowing how to cope. Not a mom yet, expecting my first in a month, so this is all just my hypothetical theories.
Mine adjusted pretty quickly although I didn't go back to work until he was 12 months old (thank you British maternity laws!). I agree that a lot of it would have been about comfort but that isn't to say the breastmilk isn't without nutrition - certainly not more or less so than cows' milk, which few people have a problem with unless they're vegan.2
This discussion has been closed.
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