Age = less attractiveness?
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Physical attractiveness on the photographic level (no human emotion involved) does change with age but the direction is not the same for everyone. Some look their best in childhood. Others don't reach their optimal looks until their heads are grey and their faces have smile lines and wrinkles. I think the same is true of weight. Some folks become more physically attractive with weight loss, others don't. I don't expect to. I have more wrinkles, my jowls are more pronounced, my cellulite shows more as I lose weight. I will start to "look my age" as my face loses the fat that kept it fully filled out and shaved a few years off.
Arguably, neither hubby nor I are physically attractive but we found each other when we were 54 and knew after a couple of hours that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I think he's more beautiful every time I look at him. I suspect he feels the same about me.
Yes, there were people who didn't want to date me in the 42 years I chased boys (age 12 through 54) and some of them didn't want to because I was fat. The hell with them. I finally found the right person and he didn't choose me nor I him because of our physiques. We chose each other because we belong together -- as simple as that.
Meanwhile, have fun kissing as many toads as you can. I did. And it gave me plenty of stories for my old age.31 -
Take the best possible care of your body while you are young. That will make it easier to be healthy and happy when you're older.
Healthy and happy are attractive.
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Tacklewasher wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »But Raquel Welch is still pretty smoking hot at 76.
I guess I'll disagree, in that while she is hot for 76, she was hotter in Barbarella.
Yeah, it sucks, but people get less attractive as they age and, in general, it is worse for women (in the eyes of most men). Looking around the gym, I see older ladies who are fit and in better shape than I am (not difficult to be) but they are not as attractive as the younger women. Somehow (and it may just be the straight guy in me talking here) I don't see as much of a difference between younger and older guys if they are in shape.
It's not right, it's not fair and it is no reason to not improve your health.
Hope I man'splained that well.
You're thinking of Jane Fonda or Anita Pallenberg. Raquel Welch is stunning, but she wasn't in Barbarella,
Ahhhh. Brain fart. Jane Fonda.
Most women like a man with a sharp mind20 -
Thehardmakesitworthit wrote: »As I have aged I have become so much more confident in the essence of who I am and frankly, somewhere along the line in my maturity my mindset is: here I am world....you can suck it if you don't like it. Really, there is such freedom in maturing. As for my beauty or attractiveness, I am boldly more attractive now than I have been in many many years. Start from the inside out and love yourself first and the world will be attracted to that. And I would agree with what tcunbeliever said dont fret about the future my dear....embrace the right now. Lastly, you are beautiful! Enjoy the journey ....it goes tooo fast.This speaks more to the maturity of the eye of the beholder. A shallow mind desires aesthetic perfection. A mature mind desires more - with that more comes wrinkles, scars, blemishes, gray, etc.
I grew up admiring ladies such as Lauren Bacall and Helen Mirren, not for their looks, but their attitudes, intellect and confidence.
Society gets pretty much everything wrong. Don't follow the masses.
I try not to "follow the masses" but it's hard to do as you say when every girl on every poster is not flawed at all.tcunbeliever wrote: »I find that the older I get the less I give a rats behind what anyone else thinks about me or anything else in the universe...particularly when it comes to people who are just negative and boring and don't have anything nice to say about the world.
So, don't fret about the future...because odds are good that by the time it arrives you won't even be the same you anyway.
Great advice! Thank you. I appreciate this so much. I will try not to worry about my future. I already love so much about myself ; but sometimes my thoughts just take over and I worry about dumb things.TenaciousGymKitten wrote: »I'm 44; I feel like I am more attractive now than I probably have ever been. Do I notice the fine lines and wrinkles more? yes! But I have earned every one of them. I'm finding that as I am aging I am attracting more quality people versus quantity. I'm ok with that.
I highly encourage good skin care to start at the earliest of ages.
Good skin care, check! I will try that. Thank youThat depends on what you find 'attractive'. Yes, when you get older, you will get wrinkles. Your body will change. I'm 51 - and my body and face look different than when I was 25 years old. But I'm also wiser, more independent, and (I think) a much more interesting person. 'Beauty' and 'attractiveness' is in the eye of the beholder. I find a good sense of humor and intelligence attractive. Personally, I'm also physically in better shape now than when I was 25 years old._BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »I think I'm much more attractive in my 40s than I was in my 20s. Age is just a number. There are enough things in life to stress us and bring on insecurity - age is something you can't change (and really, you WANT to age as it means you're still alive ) so try to let go of the number and just focus on the things that you want to change that you also have some control over.
I guess I get super attached to any number: age, weight, etc. It's hard not to. But I will try not to like you say
Thank you everyone for your honest replies. I love this community !
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On the positive side, as you get older your eyesight diminishes. Harder to see the flaws.42
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It's so sad . . . that I totally get where you are coming from - LOL!!!
I just turned 49 and up until 48 I really believed age is just a number - but not so much anymore. Things change, even after losing weight and working out and being at a place I was happy with, hormones happened, gravity changed the terms of our agreement, and a few other things started happening. I also noticed changes in my personality and how I see things so it is not just physical it also physiological. The person I am closest to is 8 years younger than me and concerns me to some degree. I'm single and hating it but I also know that for me at this point in my life I wouldn't even go near anything from my past. So I am sort of waiting and hoping with some excitement what might come.
Don't let age or weight control your goals, do what is best for you because regardless of age or weight, happy is what it is all about.6 -
VeronicaA76 wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »But Raquel Welch is still pretty smoking hot at 76.
I guess I'll disagree, in that while she is hot for 76, she was hotter in Barbarella.
Yeah, it sucks, but people get less attractive as they age and, in general, it is worse for women (in the eyes of most men). Looking around the gym, I see older ladies who are fit and in better shape than I am (not difficult to be) but they are not as attractive as the younger women. Somehow (and it may just be the straight guy in me talking here) I don't see as much of a difference between younger and older guys if they are in shape.
It's not right, it's not fair and it is no reason to not improve your health.
Hope I man'splained that well.
Don't worry. And guess what, we find the 25 year old guy working out at the gym a lot more attractive than the 45 yr old guy. But then I am sexually attracted to men, and I'm assuming you're not - so I can better see the difference. Also, there is a difference between finding someone incredibly attractive and being willing to be with them in a relationship. Sure the 20yr old is smoking hot, wouldn't actually date him though.
For the record, been married to the same person for 26 years. She has always been better looking than me. But, yeah. She did look better then. But I was also skinny when we got married and she still is, not like me.
I couldn't deal with a 20 yr old. I've sat behind them in movie theaters. Nope. Don't care what they look like.
Great. Now I've offended the 20 yrs olds here. I'm doing well today.24 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »But Raquel Welch is still pretty smoking hot at 76.
I guess I'll disagree, in that while she is hot for 76, she was hotter in Barbarella.
Yeah, it sucks, but people get less attractive as they age and, in general, it is worse for women (in the eyes of most men). Looking around the gym, I see older ladies who are fit and in better shape than I am (not difficult to be) but they are not as attractive as the younger women. Somehow (and it may just be the straight guy in me talking here) I don't see as much of a difference between younger and older guys if they are in shape.
It's not right, it's not fair and it is no reason to not improve your health.
Hope I man'splained that well.
You're thinking of Jane Fonda or Anita Pallenberg. Raquel Welch is stunning, but she wasn't in Barbarella,
Ahhhh. Brain fart. Jane Fonda.
Most women like a man with a sharp mind
Oh. Go make me a sammich. Or at least on of your frozen lunches7 -
Google septuagenarian.
Baby boomers are slowly losing their edge, but when they say "trending", marketers say, "how high"? It has never been a better time to fashionably age.
P.S. This is Beatrix Ox. Gorgeous isn't she?15 -
More evidence that boomers rule,
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Tacklewasher wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »Need2Exerc1se wrote: »But Raquel Welch is still pretty smoking hot at 76.
I guess I'll disagree, in that while she is hot for 76, she was hotter in Barbarella.
Yeah, it sucks, but people get less attractive as they age and, in general, it is worse for women (in the eyes of most men). Looking around the gym, I see older ladies who are fit and in better shape than I am (not difficult to be) but they are not as attractive as the younger women. Somehow (and it may just be the straight guy in me talking here) I don't see as much of a difference between younger and older guys if they are in shape.
It's not right, it's not fair and it is no reason to not improve your health.
Hope I man'splained that well.
You're thinking of Jane Fonda or Anita Pallenberg. Raquel Welch is stunning, but she wasn't in Barbarella,
Ahhhh. Brain fart. Jane Fonda.
Most women like a man with a sharp mind
Oh. Go make me a sammich. Or at least on of your frozen lunches
Psh! You're just jealous because my frozen lunches are better than anything you can get up there in the great white north.3 -
Google septuagenarian.
Baby boomers are slowly losing their edge, but when they say "trending", marketers say, "how high"? It has never been a better time to fashionably age.
P.S. This is Beatrix Ox. Gorgeous isn't she?
Smart designers will always cater to the customers with the $$$ to spend!
I can dig the coat and shoes but that skirt? Notsomuch1 -
Google septuagenarian.
Baby boomers are slowly losing their edge, but when they say "trending", marketers say, "how high"? It has never been a better time to fashionably age.
P.S. This is Beatrix Ox. Gorgeous isn't she?
Wow, I wasn't that attractive in my younger days! And OMG the clothes! She would be striking in any setting, but she's not the norm for most of us aging seniors any more than a model is the norm for the general population of younger people.
Here are my truths at 66:
1. My husband will never find me less attractive than he did on our wedding day (nor I him)
2. As I age I am becoming more and more invisible to the general public
3. I spent years deliberately never looking at my naked body in the mirror. Don't do this. When I finally took a good look at myself (after losing more than 20 lbs) I had to deal with the reality of going overnight from an overweight middle-aged woman with some wrinkling to an unattractive (in my opinion) woman with crepey skin and serious sagging. It took me a while to come to terms. There was some grief involved.
5. While I know I'm declining in conventional physical attractiveness with age (as defined in our culture), for myself and all other aging women and men I believe that age has nothing to do with ability to connect with others, make friends, start and maintain relationships and enjoy the hell out of life.8 -
I'm planning to avoid #2 by becoming more and more obnoxious as I age...20
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I noticed an emerging pattern this morning. The older dudes (60+) have always loved me, at every age and every weight. Lots of ogling. But that age group has been widening as I've been getting slimmer and dressing better. I'm now getting ogled regularly by 30-yr-olds. And I'm 46.
Sure, I may not be as objectively attractive as that 20-yr-old hottie at the gym, but that's not my target market. I have no desire to attract 20-yr-old guys. My son is 20. So, yuck. Also, I'm married, and this is all hypothetical anyway.4 -
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Yeah...she looks 30-something and he is probably like 44 haha
Definitely *NOT* boomers, that is for sure. Possibly Gen X.5 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »
It looks like he's deliberately squinting his eyebrows together to create those wrinkles...5 -
Age is one of those things you can't ever change or control, so why bother worrying your life away about it? That's my attitude. I am all for trying to live healthy and make great decisions and stay "youthful", though, don't get me wrong.
One other way to look at it, though...in a lot of ways, being older is kind of great because peoples' expectations change quite a bit. The bar is lowered, somewhat. I hope that doesn't sound horrible. I just think the stereotype tends to be that youth = beauty. So if you're 22 (for example) you're halfway expected to look like a skinny, nubile model.
By 30 or 40 and beyond, more and more of your peer group has begun to age and many people who were once considered super-hot (male and female) have sorta "let themselves go" and if you take care of yourself, you start to look better and better! This is definitely true. I weighed the same and looked pretty much the same at age 18 and 28 and at my 10 year high school reunion, everyone was raving about how great I looked and wondering how much weight I'd lost. None. I was possibly a few pounds heavier. It's just that to the size 2 and 4 cheerleaders in high school, a size 20 teenager looked worse to them than a size 20 grown up does when they're now size 14 themselves ;-)
On the other hand, I do think it can be even more of a letdown when you lose a major amount of weight and see positive and negative changes in your looks. I've experienced this myself. I lost over 100 lb around the age of 35. I'm happy with my body, but I also feel that now at 40 I see (especially in my face, neck, and skinny arms) quite a few "old lady" traits that wouldn't have appeared at this point if I'd stayed much much heavier. But to me...it's still worth it.3
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