What nobody tells you about losing weight
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jcummings6 wrote: »Anyone struggle with how to respond when people tell you that you look good? I'm trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. When I had lost some weight but was still bigger than most of my friends I loved sharing my progress but now I'm smaller than most of my friends and I feel really uncomfortable sharing when I meet another fitness or weight loss goal.
I understand, and it's something I'm trying to figure out too. In the past, it's been at this point that I've started to sabatoge my success. Maybe it's linked to why we were overweight to begin with - to hide in plain sight? Then, as the weight comes off and people comment, we start to feel vulnerable, physically and emotionally.
And let's face it, as women, we're often subject to unwanted attention.18 -
. . . . how often the human body can pee . . . I'm amazed at my body's ability to produce the stuff20
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jcummings6 wrote: »Anyone struggle with how to respond when people tell you that you look good? I'm trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. When I had lost some weight but was still bigger than most of my friends I loved sharing my progress but now I'm smaller than most of my friends and I feel really uncomfortable sharing when I meet another fitness or weight loss goal.
I just say, "Oh! Thank you!" and leave it at that. Unless they want to continue the conversation, in which case they'll get more info than they bargained for.16 -
Madwife2009 wrote: ». . . . how often the human body can pee . . . I'm amazed at my body's ability to produce the stuff
Stored body fat metabolizes into carbon dioxide and - wait for it - water!21 -
I am not that far into this journey but so far I am surprised that I am less tired. I am no longer absolutely dragging in the evenings. And I am getting more things done. My motivation is improving as well. I feel like tackling projects. I knew I was tired before but thought it was just because life is crazy/busy. I was wrong.17
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jcummings6 wrote: »Anyone struggle with how to respond when people tell you that you look good? I'm trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. When I had lost some weight but was still bigger than most of my friends I loved sharing my progress but now I'm smaller than most of my friends and I feel really uncomfortable sharing when I meet another fitness or weight loss goal.
I usually tell them "Thank You, its a battle everyday, but so worth it"
Enjoy the compliment you worked HARD for it11 -
jcummings6 wrote: »Anyone struggle with how to respond when people tell you that you look good? I'm trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. When I had lost some weight but was still bigger than most of my friends I loved sharing my progress but now I'm smaller than most of my friends and I feel really uncomfortable sharing when I meet another fitness or weight loss goal.
I understand. After a certain point, I felt "different" too. Like I passed the set point/normal threshold of the group and was moving into fitness freak territory. Luckily my social circle has a few other ladies into fitness who are my size and smaller. So any "does this look okay?" or "ahhh, i feel hideous " vents started going to them bc i felt that I'd get the eye rolls I usually gave smaller ladies who weren't satisfied with their looks (the feeling of, "really? Cry me a river in your size 2s" I was at size 6/8). After a while I felt progress photos might be construed as vanity/bragging. It totally might be all in my own mind, but there you go.
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I lost alot of friends as soon as I started focusing on myself and losing weight. A good thing to come out of that tho is I now know who my real friends are as they are the ones still supporting me.19
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jcummings6 wrote: »Anyone struggle with how to respond when people tell you that you look good? I'm trying to figure out what it is that makes me feel uncomfortable. When I had lost some weight but was still bigger than most of my friends I loved sharing my progress but now I'm smaller than most of my friends and I feel really uncomfortable sharing when I meet another fitness or weight loss goal.
I understand, and it's something I'm trying to figure out too. In the past, it's been at this point that I've started to sabatoge my success. Maybe it's linked to why we were overweight to begin with - to hide in plain sight? Then, as the weight comes off and people comment, we start to feel vulnerable, physically and emotionally.
And let's face it, as women, we're often subject to unwanted attention.
Holy cow! I never thought about this being the reason why I sabotage myself at this weight. Because I do it at almost the exact same size every time. Then I will hang out with my friends who are at a healthy bmi as well, but comments like, "small like Laura" were very awkward. Not only that but in my life I have NEVER been ok with getting too much male attention unless it is on my terms. So the hiding thing makes sense.
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LauraInTheWater wrote: »Not only that but in my life I have NEVER been ok with getting too much male attention unless it is on my terms. So the hiding thing makes sense.
I figured this out the last time I lost 50 pounds and started to have my curvy figure be very obvious. I tried to see a therapist to help me figure out why I freak out at a certain size and blow up again but I can't find one that is really getting the problem. They all seem to use the cognitive behavior approach, which is okay I guess, it's about how to think/act in situations but I want to know WHY, get to the root and really fix it instead of having crutches to deal with it. But when they simply don't understand and say how that's so unusual I know they will suck. Now that I'm dealing with medical issues I'm hoping I'll keep going when I finally get to my tipping point because I really need to but I still wish I had a good therapist to help me. I'm super private so just the idea of trying yet again to find one that fits me is overwhelming. So I guess I'll use you guys?17 -
FatAFNoMore wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Not only that but in my life I have NEVER been ok with getting too much male attention unless it is on my terms. So the hiding thing makes sense.
I figured this out the last time I lost 50 pounds and started to have my curvy figure be very obvious. I tried to see a therapist to help me figure out why I freak out at a certain size and blow up again but I can't find one that is really getting the problem. They all seem to use the cognitive behavior approach, which is okay I guess, it's about how to think/act in situations but I want to know WHY, get to the root and really fix it instead of having crutches to deal with it. But when they simply don't understand and say how that's so unusual I know they will suck. Now that I'm dealing with medical issues I'm hoping I'll keep going when I finally get to my tipping point because I really need to but I still wish I had a good therapist to help me. I'm super private so just the idea of trying yet again to find one that fits me is overwhelming. So I guess I'll use you guys?
We are WAY cheaper! And someone here has probably dealt with this the same way you have. I understand needing to know the why behind behavior. It's why I studied psychology in undergrad. Keep digging, keep talking to someone who you trust and you'll get there.7 -
FatAFNoMore wrote: »LauraInTheWater wrote: »Not only that but in my life I have NEVER been ok with getting too much male attention unless it is on my terms. So the hiding thing makes sense.
I figured this out the last time I lost 50 pounds and started to have my curvy figure be very obvious. I tried to see a therapist to help me figure out why I freak out at a certain size and blow up again but I can't find one that is really getting the problem. They all seem to use the cognitive behavior approach, which is okay I guess, it's about how to think/act in situations but I want to know WHY, get to the root and really fix it instead of having crutches to deal with it. But when they simply don't understand and say how that's so unusual I know they will suck. Now that I'm dealing with medical issues I'm hoping I'll keep going when I finally get to my tipping point because I really need to but I still wish I had a good therapist to help me. I'm super private so just the idea of trying yet again to find one that fits me is overwhelming. So I guess I'll use you guys?
Yes, feel free to use us! If you do want to find someone who can help you get at the root cause, consider looking for someone who specializes in body psychotherapy. For them, it's not about weight issues but the link between body and mind - how does what is going on in your subconscious manifest itself in your body. They are all about root causes. They will use the movement of the body to see what it triggers for you, then investigate what's behind it. But it doesn't have to be nosy movement - it can just be talking.
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FickleFruitBat wrote: »I've notices a lot of people mentioning their resentment of people who don't take care of their bodies. Remember that was you once, practice compassion. You might just inspire someone to change their life!
"Once" being the key word. To expound on that, I personally don't resent people that don't take care of their bodies (unless it infringes on my personal space) but I DO get annoyed af with people who complain about being fat on one hand while shoving in a Big Mac with the other. I don't have time for that.18 -
I'm getting a lot more 'looks' from the women in my building. It's certainly unexpected, and not necessarily unwelcome, but it's definitely something I'm not used to.17
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VeronicaA76 wrote: »
For example, I went out the other night and got a "light" option that I feel is just as tasty as the full calorie option, but I just felt like I was that woman you know? The one who isn't overweight, but is getting the low calorie option and you're wondering why because it's not like she's fat.
Oh dear yes, all of this. Ordering a salad, because I want a salad and get looks of "why are you ordering a salad, you can eat whatever you want, you're not fat". Clothing, well, they do make most things in an extra small. Or we could just shop in the children's section, it's cheaper anyways. And who knows, you'll just have to find a way to rock that Dora the Explorer t-shirt!
Going back to this ^
I met a guy a few years ago and we became mates. He was/is your average young, slim good looking guy in his early 20s...I just assumed because he was so slender (and spent a lot of time in the gym), like most blokes his build and age, he had a lightening speed metabolism and could eat like a horse. I then noticed that on nights out he would drink vodka/gin with diet tonic or diet coke when the other guys were on pints. I also spotted that when we went out together as a group for food, occasionally he wouldn't join in or would order something really small, just saying that he ate loads earlier.
Eventually I got to know him enough to ask him about this, and he just laughed, pulled up a photo on his phone and said "that's why!". It turns out he used to be really overweight, put in the work and lost it and had been maintaining with these little tricks for several years.
It really made me think about the assumptions I make when I meet people. If I had met him whilst he was big, I wouldn't have questioned for a second why he was making these choices. It also blew my mind a little that this person that I'd only known as a fit young guy with used to be obese!
I only hope that one day I'm the one laughing and pulling the chubby photos out to explain my eating choices. Well done guys!!
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VeronicaA76 wrote: »
For example, I went out the other night and got a "light" option that I feel is just as tasty as the full calorie option, but I just felt like I was that woman you know? The one who isn't overweight, but is getting the low calorie option and you're wondering why because it's not like she's fat.
Oh dear yes, all of this. Ordering a salad, because I want a salad and get looks of "why are you ordering a salad, you can eat whatever you want, you're not fat". Clothing, well, they do make most things in an extra small. Or we could just shop in the children's section, it's cheaper anyways. And who knows, you'll just have to find a way to rock that Dora the Explorer t-shirt!
Going back to this ^
I met a guy a few years ago and we became mates. He was/is your average young, slim good looking guy in his early 20s...I just assumed because he was so slender (and spent a lot of time in the gym), like most blokes his build and age, he had a lightening speed metabolism and could eat like a horse. I then noticed that on nights out he would drink vodka/gin with diet tonic or diet coke when the other guys were on pints. I also spotted that when we went out together as a group for food, occasionally he wouldn't join in or would order something really small, just saying that he ate loads earlier.
Eventually I got to know him enough to ask him about this, and he just laughed, pulled up a photo on his phone and said "that's why!". It turns out he used to be really overweight, put in the work and lost it and had been maintaining with these little tricks for several years.
It really made me think about the assumptions I make when I meet people. If I had met him whilst he was big, I wouldn't have questioned for a second why he was making these choices. It also blew my mind a little that this person that I'd only known as a fit young guy with used to be obese!
I only hope that one day I'm the one laughing and pulling the chubby photos out to explain my eating choices. Well done guys!!
I cheesed off my office mate yesterday (day before?) because of this. I was eating a Kodiak cakes muffin when she walked in with a turkey sub and some chips. She told me the union rep was giving away the sandwiches and to go get one. I pointed at the muffin and said I was good; she got huffy and she'd wouldn't eat the sandwich and that she'd take it to another coworker.
It wasn't my intention to upset her, but she knows I plan my eating. I'm pretty open about it and my past weight loss, but then I'm also pretty alpha when I need to be. I don't apologize for eating light or not accepting food, but I try not to be a jerk about either.20 -
Might be tmi.. but it's a lot easier shaving everywhere now. lol29
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You feel you can do more. Hitting one goal was not enough... you want more. And the pleasure is chasing a goal.
At the same time - i'm amazed at how quickly people give up or settle... and that I was like that.14 -
being conscious of how baggy my clothes look13
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