Are you over it?
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beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya
. I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on.
I keep seeing you say this, yet people respond to you all the time. Not sure what's happening.
You must be seeing the very few times it happens. And the singles thread doesn't count. Lol
I can't go in there or my phone will self destruct
I guess that's a good thing?0 -
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beingmore1 wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya . I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on.
I keep seeing you say this, yet people respond to you all the time. Not sure what's happening.
You must be seeing the very few times it happens. And the singles thread doesn't count. Lol
I can't go in there or my phone will self destruct
brings out old memories?
No because im married so I'm not allowed in there. (Sometimes a sneak a peek though)
OutOfUserName wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »OutOfUserName wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya . I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on.
I keep seeing you say this, yet people respond to you all the time. Not sure what's happening.
You must be seeing the very few times it happens. And the singles thread doesn't count. Lol
I can't go in there or my phone will self destruct
brings out old memories?
No because im married so I'm not allowed in there. (Sometimes a sneak a peek though)
well crap im doing it wrong then lol!
but youre missing some winking and stuff
Every time I go in that thread, there are angelic voices that tell me "welcome home."
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That Singles thread moves quicker than the selfie thread and that says a lot!3
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Just_J_Now wrote: »That Singles thread moves quicker than the selfie thread and that says a lot!
Some days yes, weekends no. Lol!
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I just post.. Really, I don't think of it as a self-validation. But, right now, MFP is a place for me to belong to. I am so busy at home and with the wedding planning, and just trying to keep my family above the water that once I clock out from work, I clock back in at home. I get on MFP threads during my lunch break at work, and it helps me stay motivated and get me away from my reality at the moment. It does make me feel like an interesting person when someone does acknowledge me here, because it means my personality is shining through to them and they get it, which may be a sort of validation and maybe a small gratification.
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Isn't that what mfp is for? Give a compliment by way of support? Some ppl need assurance of physical characteristics, others of physical activity. I'm not one who needs much validation if any at all on my physical appearance. My opinion of me and how I feel about how I look is what matters. I'm the one whose avoidances of mirrors selfies and scales got me to the weight I am. I can be told I look great, pretty, and fit (actually curvy or any other polite synonym for fat) all day! But if what I see in the mirror doesn't reflect that those compliments mean nothing to me.3
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »Renaissance_Turtle wrote: »I like turtles...
Do you like kangaroos?
Indeed, I do.1 -
Just_J_Now wrote: »I don’t consider myself needy....
I’m extremely critical of myself. I pick on my every single flaw and rip myself apart on a daily. I rather hide behind the scenes and not draw attention to myself.
Same. Plus, I don’t have a fabulous transformation to share. I do need validation, though, and I get it through school. I will probably be cramming for a final on my deathbed. Or hopefully putting the finishing touches on my dissertation! GPA on my tombstone. Lord, that’s pathetic. Time to rethink my life.
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I went from 170 to 116, with many ups and downs in between, over the past seven years. Yeah at times I needed a boost from people but when I started years ago I had no one to cheer for me. I'm kind of glad because people come and go and now I prefer going alone because I've noticed some people get a little jealous or competitive. I don't want that kind of attention and my own validation should be enough as is.1
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »beingmore1 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »LittleHearseDriver wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »
When I was posting selfies I did it because it was silly filter selfie day, or my makeup looked damn good. I didn't get near as many comments as others though. Do I need validation? No. But that thread shows me there are obvious favorites around here and I just ain't one of them. That won't stop me from making comments up in the *kitten* though. I may stay behind my phone but imma speak my mind. I give compliments when due, not to fluff egos.
I'm not sure if you mean that I'm one of the favorites or if you were talking about the orginal topic in general.I honestly don't know what to say. I know you get upset when people don't respond back, but please know that 90% of the time my silence is out of lack of words, not rudeness. I don't like talking for the sake of talking.
It was for the original topic. You mentioned something and I just ran with my thoughts on it, not saying you were a favorite. I got nothing but luv for ya . I don't get upset when people don't respond. It's hurtful when people make it flat out obvious that they look right over what I say because I'm not a member of the favorites club. I still keep on saying what I want, when I want to. I've just changed what I comment and post on.
I keep seeing you say this, yet people respond to you all the time. Not sure what's happening.
You must be seeing the very few times it happens. And the singles thread doesn't count. Lol
We you 1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I get my validation from my wife.
When I compliment my wife her reaction is usually "Your just saying that cause it's in your job description" lol
I usually say "You must want some!" LOL!0 -
If the OP is asking of we, as individuals, are ever disinterested in social hierarchical ascension, the answer is unequivocally "No". It has nothing to do with body weight or body image.2
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I seek validation through nonsensical mansplaining.3
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I didn't get over it and I never will - I changed in how I acted on it, but the drive didn't go away.
See, there's a blog I follow that analyzes common unspoken social rules, and they pointed out something that changed the way I think about this kind of thing forever: as much as we demonize "attention-seeking", literally every social interaction we ever engage in is seeking attention. In any social interaction, you want your actions acknowledged, right? Well, guess what - that acknowledgement is attention. Thus, waving hi to someone is seeking attention. Calling someone on the phone is seeking attention. We are social animals - we thrive on attention and validation. In other words, the stigma is misplaced - seeking attention is not bad, but engaging in unhealthy behaviors for attention is, and failing to read the room and demanding the wrong kind of attention from the wrong people is just a recipe for disaster.
So, I stopped trying to just learn how not to care what other people thought because that's just not how humans are wired, and I started looking for more positive outlets - finding new friends where we would be positive influences on each other, working my fitness hobbies into the interests I share with the friends I already have (fun fact: you gain some pretty massive Cool Guy Points if you're a cosplayer who can actually do the same kind of stunts as the characters you're cosplaying) and encouraging those of them who have wanted to get in better shape but been too afraid to try, and so on.
In other words, I didn't stop wanting or needing positivity or validation. I just found healthy ways to get it.7 -
I'm just so over it.
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peppermintpudgy wrote: »I seek validation through nonsensical mansplaining.
mansplaining ?
.... you misspelled 'logical thought'.1 -
I am too shy to post selfies. I was bullied pretty badly through out elementary school and the first couple years of high school. I know I'm not the stuttering, uni-browed, chunk-a-dunk I used to be but it haunts like PTSD so it would take a lot to put myself out there. That being said I have no issues with the selfie obsessed. If you need the validation, go for it! Even better if you pay it forward. If you worked really hard, if you crushed a bad habit, if you sat there and ate carrots and tofu while your family/friends killed a deep dish pizza with fried mozzarella sticks and cold, frothy beers than for God's sake get yourself a lil dopamine from that rando leaving kissy face emojis on your post-squats selfie. The fitlife ain't easy. No one's on here doing this for *kittens* and giggles. Take your pleasures where you can.2
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Seems a few can thank MFP for "ahhh huh" moments0
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peppermintpudgy wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »I don’t consider myself needy....
I’m extremely critical of myself. I pick on my every single flaw and rip myself apart on a daily. I rather hide behind the scenes and not draw attention to myself.
Same. Plus, I don’t have a fabulous transformation to share. I do need validation, though, and I get it through school. I will probably be cramming for a final on my deathbed. Or hopefully putting the finishing touches on my dissertation! GPA on my tombstone. Lord, that’s pathetic. Time to rethink my life.
That's awesome, I think! I desperately want to go back to school...but I have no objective. It would just be random learning (which is great) but money that I don't have to do so and absolutely no direction...just random learning1 -
_barefoot_ wrote: »It's nice to hear kind words from peeps not everyone gets to hear it in real life .
Quoted because this is very insightful and something I try to remember. Everyone deserves a kind word.
Let me start off by saying that everyone wants some validation sometimes, it's human nature. Honestly, sometimes I see some very obvious cries for attention and then the debate with myself begins. Ok, so they post selfies everyday and I find it annoying but really who cares?
Me...this is about to get real and I've deleted this more times than I can count but...when I was younger I felt like I needed attention from men so badly, and that came from some pretty bad "daddy issues". I used to feel like I didn't matter unless men desired me but that is a void I thankfully realised only I could fill.
Now, I want people to like me, sure, but I want them to like me for all of me and I'd much rather be told I'm funny or kind or the best at making sandwiches than to be complimented on appearance.
Mostly though, remember to try be nice because everyone is fighting some war and we really don't need to make it harder for each other.8 -
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beingmore1 wrote: »SEAHORSES4EVER wrote: »_barefoot_ wrote: »It's nice to hear kind words from peeps not everyone gets to hear it in real life .
Quoted because this is very insightful and something I try to remember. Everyone deserves a kind word.
Let me start off by saying that everyone wants some validation sometimes, it's human nature. Honestly, sometimes I see some very obvious cries for attention and then the debate with myself begins. Ok, so they post selfies everyday and I find it annoying but really who cares?
Me...this is about to get real and I've deleted this more times than I can count but...when I was younger I felt like I needed attention from men so badly, and that came from some pretty bad "daddy issues". I used to feel like I didn't matter unless men desired me but that is a void I thankfully realised only I could fill.
Now, I want people to like me, sure, but I want them to like me for all of me and I'd much rather be told I'm funny or kind or the best at making sandwiches than to be complimented on appearance.
Mostly though, remember to try be nice because everyone is fighting some war and we really don't need to make it harder for each other.
thanks for sharing and yes this is a very valid point.
I'd like to make it clear that in my original Post I wasn't just referring to selfies. I think people seek self validation and attention in a lot of different ways. For example, the friend collectors on here. Some people are very active on mfp and they have a million people on their friends list. Some people have a million posts on here. I am one of those people who post a lot, I have to break up my days somehow. They can't always be just work work work study study study kids kids kids. To me, when I post on here, it is for something fun and entertaining to do now, but it used to be a need...I needed to reach out and talk to people, to connect, to be a part of something, anything. I guess that was attention seeking in a way? So, I feel I have surpassed that need, as for now, its just for fun.
I love your posts. I don't want to give you a huge head, but sometimes i just need to shut off and be silly. Your posts/threads have helped me get through the day many times too.1
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