Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?

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  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
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    silkmouse wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Have you never paid rent before?

    It's not rent, he said the words "you need to pay me to live with me" which makes it sound like he wants to be paid to be in a relationship with me. That made me uneasy. Also I already have my own place right now so why should I pay him even more? :( I'm pretty broke and the place would just be sitting empty, he does not want to live here.

    If he uses the words "You need to pay me to live with me"... then no.
    That's a red flag in my opinion. if he said, lets get a place and split it and live together, that is a whole other and totally acceptable story.
    But "You need to pay me to live with me"? The hell I do. Pay me and move into my place, damn it.
  • aeloine
    aeloine Posts: 2,163 Member
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    silkmouse wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Have you never paid rent before?

    It's not rent, he said the words "you need to pay me to live with me" which makes it sound like he wants to be paid to be in a relationship with me. That made me uneasy. Also I already have my own place right now so why should I pay him even more? :( I'm pretty broke and the place would just be sitting empty, he does not want to live here.

    So do it when your rent is up. Why would you not try to time it to then?

    I'd suggest that you write out your half on a check to the apartment complex and he write out his half and that way you don't have to go through him but can go through the actual office.
  • W8WarI
    W8WarI Posts: 567 Member
    edited January 2018
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    Considering that, he's within; the searching stage & doesn't have a place yet, I believe that you both; should be searching & agreeing upon a place together, instead of just him; since you'd be contributing towards the bills!
  • silkmouse
    silkmouse Posts: 53 Member
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    tinak33 wrote: »
    silkmouse wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Have you never paid rent before?

    It's not rent, he said the words "you need to pay me to live with me" which makes it sound like he wants to be paid to be in a relationship with me. That made me uneasy. Also I already have my own place right now so why should I pay him even more? :( I'm pretty broke and the place would just be sitting empty, he does not want to live here.

    If he uses the words "You need to pay me to live with me"... then no.
    That's a red flag in my opinion. if he said, lets get a place and split it and live together, that is a whole other and totally acceptable story.
    But "You need to pay me to live with me"? The hell I do. Pay me and move into my place, damn it.

    That's what I'm saying he used the words I need to pay him. If he would have said okay so the rent is X and you can pay half, that would be fine but when he said I need to pay him, it sounded as if it was a transaction. Maybe I'm overreacting. I'm going to wait and see but at this point I'd rather be single than pay to be in a relationship with someone.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
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    WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »
    Can you just have kids to lower your share of the rent some? If they each pony up, your part will be pretty small

    If they get some pets this could be genius. A tank full of goldfish and they’re all paying pennies.
  • whosshe
    whosshe Posts: 597 Member
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    WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »
    Can you just have kids to lower your share of the rent some? If they each pony up, your part will be pretty small

    LOLLLLLLLL
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    @bknewtype - if you pay me, I will be your friend.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
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    Yeah.... how long have you been dating? Maybe ask him if he means splitting the rent and living together? I'm gonna back out of this now. I'm soooo not qualified to give any relationship advice. :#:D Way too cynical. hahaha
  • Mrs181
    Mrs181 Posts: 36 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    silkmouse wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    Have you never paid rent before?

    It's not rent, he said the words "you need to pay me to live with me" which makes it sound like he wants to be paid to be in a relationship with me. That made me uneasy. Also I already have my own place right now so why should I pay him even more? :( I'm pretty broke and the place would just be sitting empty, he does not want to live here.

    Usually when people move in together, they don't keep another place of their own...so, like you wouldn't have your own place anymore...

    When my wife and I moved in together I moved out of my apartment and into hers...I didn't keep my apartment. I paid her too because she was the one who wrote the check for the rent...so I'd pay her half the rent and half the utilities.

    I don't think you're interpreting things correctly...also, how old are you? I ask because this all seems like ordinary adulting...

    When my mom moved in with my dad, she kept her apartment until they got engaged.
    My dad also never asked her to help pay his morgage, so she could afford to do that.
  • silkmouse
    silkmouse Posts: 53 Member
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    tinak33 wrote: »
    Yeah.... how long have you been dating? Maybe ask him if he means splitting the rent and living together? I'm gonna back out of this now. I'm soooo not qualified to give any relationship advice. :#:D Way too cynical. hahaha

    Please don't laugh but we've only been together for 3 weeks, we are both emotional people. And by the way the reason I am so broke now is that he spent a loooot of my money, I didn't even keep track....so I'm not using him at all!
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