Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?

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  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    dinadyna21 wrote: »
    liftorgohome wrote: »
    2/10 here. I liked the poo thread better.

    Link? Or did it get removed?

    Page 10 someone posted questions about how frequent they should be going poo. lol

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10630582/the-poo-thread#latest
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    Thank you dear. ;)
  • dinadyna21
    dinadyna21 Posts: 403 Member
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    boehle wrote: »
    liftorgohome wrote: »
    dinadyna21 wrote: »
    liftorgohome wrote: »
    2/10 here. I liked the poo thread better.

    Link? Or did it get removed?

    Page 10 someone posted questions about how frequent they should be going poo. lol

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10630582/the-poo-thread#latest

    I've got no words.
  • xFunctionalStrengthx
    xFunctionalStrengthx Posts: 4,928 Member
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    manderson27 wrote: »
    You have only known him 3 weeks do not make any major decisions regarding moving anywhere with him for any reason.

    If you are still together in a year then you are in a position to know exactly what you BOTH want.

    Even at a year, I doubt it. They'd still be learning what each other likes.
  • JillianRumrill
    JillianRumrill Posts: 335 Member
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    Oh honey, this is normal, my parents combine their income to pay bills, I do it with my husband, my grandparents, etc. I think because you grew up in a nice old-fashioned situation (seriously, I would love to be a housewife! so I get it) it seems pretty abnormal to you, but you could ask his parents how they split the bills so you get an idea how others do it.
    For example, in my situation, hubby and I have a shared checking account. All my income goes direct into it. He gets paid by check, so he only deposits a certain amt per month to help with lights, rent, internet (shared utilities). He takes care of the household groceries, I take care of the non-food items.
    Don't worry hon, he's not being stingy or mean, it's unfortunately the way things have to go in a modern society.
  • purplefizzy
    purplefizzy Posts: 594 Member
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    Honestly, it sounds like you’re looking for a position as a trophy wife.
    Better check that you and the BF are on the same page - it sounds like he’s hoping for a collaborative partnering of grown-ups who share financial contributions to joint assets.

    Should you decide that Trophy Wife is more your style, I recommend that you have all of the job requirements for that position.

    No, seriously. It’s not a terrible aspiration, if it’s what you’re looking for. Be clear with yourself and your prospective partners on your desires in terms of the financial balance in the relationship.

    Here is a non-satirical guide to how to do that right:
    https://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Trophy-Wife

    That said, I quite like being a bad-*kitten* woman who self-supports.

    FWIW, I also fully believe that raising kids is a JOB and should be recognized as such. But that’s another topic..

  • CaptainFantastic00
    CaptainFantastic00 Posts: 4,619 Member
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    purplefizzy wrote: »
    Honestly, it sounds like you’re looking for a position as a trophy wife.
    Better check that you and the BF are on the same page - it sounds like he’s hoping for a collaborative partnering of grown-ups who share financial contributions to joint assets.

    Should you decide that Trophy Wife is more your style, I recommend that you have all of the job requirements for that position.

    No, seriously. It’s not a terrible aspiration, if it’s what you’re looking for. Be clear with yourself and your prospective partners on your desires in terms of the financial balance in the relationship.

    Here is a non-satirical guide to how to do that right:
    https://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Trophy-Wife

    That said, I quite like being a bad-*kitten* woman who self-supports.

    FWIW, I also fully believe that raising kids is a JOB and should be recognized as such. But that’s another topic..

    Nice:):)
  • Momepro
    Momepro Posts: 1,509 Member
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    It sounds like he is trying ( badly) to start a conversation about sharing finances. This is something you both REALLY need to have a heart to heart about. In this day and age, it is fairly unusual for person to provide all the expenses for the family, unless both partners agree that one person will be a stay at home, and not earn a paycheck on thier own. It is hardly fair to expect one person to commit the bulk of his mo ey to expenses while tbe other person gets to spend all of hers on fun stuff. Otherwise, expenses are usually either shared 100% by using ibe account or split according to how much you both earn. For example, if you only earn half as much as he does, it makes sense that you would pay less rent, or cover some utilities instead. That's how partnership works. At this stage, if you do decide to move in together, I'd reccomebd opening a shared account for bills, where you both contribute a percentage of your paychecks. You will need to sit down together and decide how much everything is going to cost, but I'd guess 50-75% each. If one person makes more, they will contribute more money, but since I assume you both work equally hard at your jobs, splitting by paycheck percentage rather than 50/50 tends to be a little easier to deal with.
    That way you also have youe seperate accounts for emergency money, and you both feel you are contributing equally to the relationship.

  • JillianRumrill
    JillianRumrill Posts: 335 Member
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    emjay6x3 wrote: »
    He could've just not worded his thoughts correctly. Happens to us humans sometimes. I think you're looking into it a little too deeply... Try communicating with your boyfriend. Usually direct communication clears any misunderstandings up. ;)

    My hubby's like that. Not a very tactful guy, but when you ask "what do you mean?" he says it in a better way. Some guys are a little rough around the edges like that.
  • emjay6x3
    emjay6x3 Posts: 213 Member
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    JillianRumrill wrote: »
    emjay6x3 wrote: »
    He could've just not worded his thoughts correctly. Happens to us humans sometimes. I think you're looking into it a little too deeply... Try communicating with your boyfriend. Usually direct communication clears any misunderstandings up. ;)

    My hubby's like that. Not a very tactful guy, but when you ask "what do you mean?" he says it in a better way. Some guys are a little rough around the edges like that.

    Exactly! Especially if the conversation is a little loaded or heated from the get-go. Sometimes we have to take a step back and ask for clarification after a couple deep breaths...
  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
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    JillianRumrill wrote: »
    silkmouse wrote: »
    tinak33 wrote: »
    Yeah.... how long have you been dating? Maybe ask him if he means splitting the rent and living together? I'm gonna back out of this now. I'm soooo not qualified to give any relationship advice. :#:D Way too cynical. hahaha

    Please don't laugh but we've only been together for 3 weeks, we are both emotional people. And by the way the reason I am so broke now is that he spent a loooot of my money, I didn't even keep track....so I'm not using him at all!

    RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG
    DON'T DO IT HONEY!!
    I had an ex who was "emotional", turns out he was just plain crazy. He became abusive a few years into the relationship and I didn't see it because I didn't put all the warning signs together and just thought they were isolated incidents. THEY ARE NOT.

    Oh, snap! Good catch. If he is spending you broke, OP, get the hell out of that relationship. That is either a sign of financial abuse or this guy has a serious spending problem and will never be able to support a family. You can do better!
  • JillianRumrill
    JillianRumrill Posts: 335 Member
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    silkmouse wrote: »

    You're right I got into a relationship with him the 2nd day I knew him but he is from Poland and I have been in that community for a long time and I think that things happen faster in this culture. I am 29 yes. And he has farted in front of me and snored which has made it hard for me to sleep so honestly it may be best if I don't live with him if he expects me to pay him!


    NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
    My hubby is 2nd gen Polish. Polish men don't act that way. Sociopaths do.
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