Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?

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  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    liftorgohome wrote: »
    Wait until she reads the poo thread. :s

    Whoa whoa whoa. I missed a poo thread?? Where... WHERE?

  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    boehle wrote: »
    silkmouse wrote: »
    Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.

    Does he have a brother?
    I wanna be lazy and contribute nothing to a relationship and maybe cook and clean here and there.

    This is great!
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.

    My most recent ex would disagree.
    He believed that it should be split by what we bring into the house.
    He made double what I did.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    edited January 2018
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.

    But, what if I make 5x as much as you? Should the mortgage still be split 50/50 or should we create a spreadsheet that allocates everything proportionately to income? And how much does the dog contribute?

    Edit to add: If you can't afford 50% of the mortgage, can I foreclose on you and kick you out?
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    Yes split the total income evenly. So I make $100K you make $50 then we split $150.
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    liftorgohome wrote: »
    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.

    But, what if I make 5x as much as you? Should the mortgage still be split 50/50 or should we create a spreadsheet that allocates everything proportionately to income? And how much does the dog contribute?

    Please see the poo thread for dog contributions
  • WhereIsPJSoles
    WhereIsPJSoles Posts: 622 Member
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    You bring 100% sausage
    I bring 100% sausage

    That’s 200% sausage. We’ll live like kings, baby.
  • myfavoritealpha
    myfavoritealpha Posts: 44 Member
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    So, wait.... he needs to pay for everything and you only cook and clean "here and there"? It sounds like to me that YOU are proposing that he pays you to live with YOU.I hate being crass, but what is he getting here while you stockpile your income?
  • poetic_cell
    poetic_cell Posts: 772 Member
    edited January 2018
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    Yes split the total income evenly. So I make $100K you make $50 then we split $150.

    I'd rather be lazy than make $50 a year.
  • myfavoritealpha
    myfavoritealpha Posts: 44 Member
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    I could understand if you had NO INCOME because you were rearing children and taking care of the home (that is a job), but for you to sit around making an income and barely contributing... You think that's right? I'm so confused.
  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
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    silkmouse wrote: »
    Bottom line I just finished talking with my boyfriend and I told him point blank that I am not giving him a cent if he wants me to live with him. I also told him that if we get married I will not pay for food or anything else because he should take care of me and he said that he prefers it that way. I also told him that I am willing to clean and cook sometimes but he can't count on it. Right now we are still hanging out so I will get back to you guys later.

    I'm glad you got that sorted out. In the meantime don't let him spend any of your money and see if he is serious. Go half or let him pay. If you move in together and he pays for everything put most of your paycheck into savings or investments. It isn't fair that you go on shopping sprees while he pays the bills. If you have money put away you have something to fall back on if things don't work out. If you do get married and you end up staying home you have something to live off of in case he ever loses his job.

  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »
    You bring 100% sausage
    I bring 100% sausage

    That’s 200% sausage. We’ll live like kings, baby.

    Brilliant.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    positivelynicki wrote: »
    This is my first time coming to these forums, and I gotta say... I am not disappointed.

    Have you checked out the poo thread?
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    positivelynicki wrote: »
    This is my first time coming to these forums, and I gotta say... I am not disappointed.

    Have you checked out the poo thread?

    If not, please do: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10630582/the-poo-thread#latest
  • daw0518
    daw0518 Posts: 459 Member
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.

    This is pretty much exactly what I came here to say. It truly blows my mind that there are still women out there that expect to not have to contribute at all to living expenses. I mean damn. You're both adults, you're both working - why WOULDN'T you contribute to the daily living expenses?? I guess as a woman who has lived alone and payed all my own bills by myself up til now, I would be thrilled to only have to pay HALF of what I do now. It's hard to get by on only one income as a single person, let alone with TWO people & maybe kids, even on a decent income! I mean... what would you do with all your money if you weren't helping pay bills?? Just blow it? Save it? I don't understand.
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
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    odusgolp wrote: »
    WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »
    You bring 100% sausage
    I bring 100% sausage

    That’s 200% sausage. We’ll live like kings, baby.

    Brilliant.

    Lord
  • Keladelphia
    Keladelphia Posts: 820 Member
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    liftorgohome wrote: »
    WTF 11 pages on this? If you have kids and a house and cars and a dog and want the finer things in life like vacations then you need two incomes period. It's not the 70's anymore. Everything should be 50/50 no matter who makes more.

    I always find this viewpoint very interesting. So if I make 200K a year and you make 35k a year you think we should be responsible for sharing 50% of the household financial obligations? I personally think that's insane, this coming from the partner who almost always has the larger income. Partnerships can be equal without splitting finances down the middle.


    Also just to touch back on the kielbasa conversation from a few pages ago, Kielbasa egg and cheese sandwiches might be the tastiest breakfast sandwich on the planet, just saying in case anyone wants to experience the awesomeness for themselves.
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