Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?
Options
Replies
-
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.11 -
If you don't want to pay him, don't move in with him.
I've lived with two boyfriends. The first one, we had decided to live together, found a place, and split the costs. This sounds kind of what your situation is, and is totally normal, you should expect to pay rent in this situation.
The other one already had his own place. He asked me to move in, and I was not required to pay rent/utilities as he was already covering them on his own. This man is now my husband, and although I do contribute to things like groceries, vacations, etc, he has never once asked me to give him money to live there.
Basically if you don't want to pay to live with him I recommend you hold off and let him live on his own for a while, then if he asks you to move in again I personally believe you shouldn't have to pay rent.
So you get the benefit of all your income goes to you, and he gets no financial benefit whatsoever for you living with him? I would at least hope you buy all the groceries and power bills if you are not "paying" for the place itself. it would be nice if both parties get to benefit financially from living together, not just one half.
No need to get offensive, man. I buy groceries, I cook all the meals, I help keep the house clean, and I take care of the dogs. I take care of my man. I have my own bills to pay, and I help pay for the vacations and trips we take.
All I said was that he already had a home that he was paying for before I lived there.
It works for us.
Seriously, calm down.
I am calm, no caps or exclamation points that would indicate otherwise. You didn't mention you were contributing which is why I brought that up. when I moved in with my ex, I paid her $600/month, plus all of the groceries, and all of my own expenditures (car, insurance, etc.) I still had my old place but rented it out, so it almost paid for itself. I would have felt like a mooch had I paid much less than that, and it probably worked out to be half of the household expenses even though she used to cover 100% of them before I came along.
If what you guys do works for you great, I was pointing out that one should not expect to not help and get a free ride, which is what you made it sound like, before your follow up, in which you indicated you cover some household/relationship expenses.
One of the many reasons I left an ex of mine
I bought my house all on my own. He decided to move in and I was cool with that but anytime I would bring up paying a few bills, he would say he pays for most of the groceries and that should be enough because it isnt his house.
Um boy, bye!
You live with me. You take up electric, water, sewage, sleep under a roof, ac/heat... yadda yadda.
I couldn't imagine living with someone and paying nothing or even just groceries.9 -
If you cook, clean, do laundry, and give me sex 24/7 you can live with me rent free. lol6
-
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Thank you
0 -
liftorgohome wrote: »If you cook, clean, do laundry, and give me sex 24/7 you can live with me rent free. lol
Yes, but do you supply free dutch ovens and alarm clocks?4 -
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege2 -
e.
My father for instance took care of the whole family and my mother volunteers. He never charged her anything!
Okay, let's unpack this a bit. Is he asking you to "help" or contribute to the bills, or is he asking for a set amount for you to live in his apartment. To me, there is a difference. If he is saying, hey, I can't pay for this on my own (even if he promised he would, he may not have realized how expensive it is) that is reasonable. If he is saying, you have to pay for your share of everything, let's split everything 50-50 and all that, I think it's weird. I know someone who was with her BF for ten years and they always sorted out who was gonna pay for dinner and all of that stuff. I mean, I guess it works for some people, but I find it a totally alien experience. lol. My husband and I have always shared everything. He moved into my apartment, which was all my own, after we got together, and then after a few months he started giving me some rent money. It wasn't a strict, set thing. It's just if you can help, you should.
1 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.2 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?1 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
Awe booo1 -
@silkmouse have you ever considered a house boat? I think that would fix everything.1
-
Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »OP, he's priming you to undermine your own womanly instincts, your need for security through traditional matrimony and to casually dismiss your natural maternal role as full time caretaker of biological offspring in lieu of some fly-by-night "partnership".
What are you going to do when he knocks you up in this equal opportunity loveshack? Work at your little job until you're 9 months pregnant and ready to pop? Then stay home for 6 weeks while he huffs and puffs because you're not earning your keep? Then when baby is 6 weeks old, pump some milk, pack it in dry ice, drop the poor thing off at the nearest day care and go back to work answering phone calls and emails in an office so you can pay your half of the rent?
No sweetie. No.
Where do you live? I want to hire you to write my newsletters.
According to these kids, I live in a different time. Sigh.
I agree with Meadows. I work a full time, cook, clean, pay the bills, and have a side job and raise my 5 yr old daughter full time by myself. If you can find that person so all you have to do is be a caretaker, do that.0 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.1 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.
Cap presses me, so guess we’re even.0 -
Have relationships these days become so complex that you don't know whether this is about 'money' or a mutual contribution to living expenses so that you both can live in a nicer place if both are paying into it?
Do people really not talk any more in their relationships. I've been married way toooo long.6 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.
Literally everyone pays rent. Get over it. It isn't about rent. Your bf asked you to help pay rent and you came to the internet freaking out about how your bf is asking you to pay to be in a relationship. Pay your dang bills like everyone else, stop making a deal about nothing3 -
One time I dated a guy for 3 months before I told him where I lived. Trust no one, bebe.7
-
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.
Literally everyone pays rent. Get over it. It isn't about rent. Your bf asked you to help pay rent and you came to the internet freaking out about how your bf is asking you to pay to be in a relationship. Pay your dang bills like everyone else, stop making a deal about nothing
She’s not the OP, she’s the one who was flirting with you and I didn’t like it1 -
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.
Literally everyone pays rent. Get over it. It isn't about rent. Your bf asked you to help pay rent and you came to the internet freaking out about how your bf is asking you to pay to be in a relationship. Pay your dang bills like everyone else, stop making a deal about nothing
I think you might have me mistaken for someone else. It's okay I forgive you.1 -
CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »CaptainFantastic00 wrote: »Why do i keep coming in here
Your profile picture matches your reply perfectly.
Stop flirting with my man or start paying me for the privilege
I can't afford it. I have rent to pay.
Wow, patriarchy much?
Rent is oppressing me.
Literally everyone pays rent. Get over it. It isn't about rent. Your bf asked you to help pay rent and you came to the internet freaking out about how your bf is asking you to pay to be in a relationship. Pay your dang bills like everyone else, stop making a deal about nothing
I think you might have me mistaken me for someone else. It's okay I forgive you.
If it makes you feel any better he usually calls out a different name in bed than mine.
Who the flip is Ben?!4
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 388 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.2K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 918 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions