Is it appropriate for my boyfriend to ask me to pay him to live with him?
Replies
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Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »lisawolfinger wrote: »Married and have always helped with the bills. My husband is even a six figure wage earner. I don't make peanuts myself but not nearly his salary...yet we PROPORTIONETLY share household bills. He is a good man and terrific father and deserves to have me contribute, regardless of income difference. Could I not pay...sure! I just have more respect for him then to laden him with all the expenses when I am capable. I also have more respect for myself. I would feel like such a moocher.
Different if you have talked and have an agreement...like not working while attending Grad school or caring for kids, but in reality, this is not the 1950's. If you wanted to be treated like a modern women, then be one...pay up.
My bigger question-what is going on with the OPs emotions that makes her consider this is a business arrangement? I think that whole thing needs to be checked. Insecurity is the out cry of deeper issues in a relationship.
Bottom line this is not about money because I could be getting plenty of money from my parents if I asked them for it. I am a little broke right now because I spent 2 months' money from my parents because I was sightseeing like crazy and bought a lot of souvenirs, but in the long run this is not about money. I will have less money with Jasiek than with my parents and on vacations we will have to go to cheap places since he works in construction. However it is a matter of principle, I would feel extremely uncomfortable if he expected me to pay if we went somewhere. I mean I would like to go with him to America in the future so we can go to Disneyland but it would be incredibly inappropriate of him to expect me to pay for my own ticket or worse, for his one, so even though my parents wouldn't mind paying for it we will probably have to stay in London but we may go to Poland from time to time.
It is nice of you to contribute to the bills and stuff and it is wonderful that your husband is such a good guy
I will do nice things for Jasiek though, sometimes I might look up a recipe and make it and I will say nice things to him which I currently do. Plus I helped him out big time when I went with him to the job centre because he does not know English so I helped him. Another time he was in trouble and I helped him out as well. Also when we went to the London aquarium, London Dungeon, and Greenwich he was really happy looking at all the stuff there. So I can plan places to go to that would be enjoyable but he is deluded if he thinks I am going to pay for it, yes I did pay for him before when he was not working but now that he has a job he has no right to ask me for 1 pence.
You life sounds so hard, 29 and expecting to live off your boyfriend for free or take money and live off your parents for free.
How about you contribute to the relationship? I would have never moved in with my boyfriend expecting to not pay half the expenses. I guess financial responsibility is not a thing where you come from.
I do contribute to the relationship by speaking English (Jasiek can't speak English at all), telling Jasiek that I love him, spending time with him, and coming up with cool places to go to like parks and museums.
I just want a girl who will mooch off me, tell me she loves me in English, spend some time with me in English and find cool places to go on dates like parks and museums because I'm absolute rubbish at planning dates.
If you throw in some sausage for dinner... That I will cook occasionally but will probably not clean up.... Then I'm your girl.
Ill even pick out spices you have to buy for our home.
I made lasagna for dinner sorry
Homemade? Or freezer?
It matters ya know.
I’m Italian, I don’t sin like that.
Sorry I didn't know.
I usually date polish men.
I've never dated a polish man, how is it?0 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »lisawolfinger wrote: »Married and have always helped with the bills. My husband is even a six figure wage earner. I don't make peanuts myself but not nearly his salary...yet we PROPORTIONETLY share household bills. He is a good man and terrific father and deserves to have me contribute, regardless of income difference. Could I not pay...sure! I just have more respect for him then to laden him with all the expenses when I am capable. I also have more respect for myself. I would feel like such a moocher.
Different if you have talked and have an agreement...like not working while attending Grad school or caring for kids, but in reality, this is not the 1950's. If you wanted to be treated like a modern women, then be one...pay up.
My bigger question-what is going on with the OPs emotions that makes her consider this is a business arrangement? I think that whole thing needs to be checked. Insecurity is the out cry of deeper issues in a relationship.
Bottom line this is not about money because I could be getting plenty of money from my parents if I asked them for it. I am a little broke right now because I spent 2 months' money from my parents because I was sightseeing like crazy and bought a lot of souvenirs, but in the long run this is not about money. I will have less money with Jasiek than with my parents and on vacations we will have to go to cheap places since he works in construction. However it is a matter of principle, I would feel extremely uncomfortable if he expected me to pay if we went somewhere. I mean I would like to go with him to America in the future so we can go to Disneyland but it would be incredibly inappropriate of him to expect me to pay for my own ticket or worse, for his one, so even though my parents wouldn't mind paying for it we will probably have to stay in London but we may go to Poland from time to time.
It is nice of you to contribute to the bills and stuff and it is wonderful that your husband is such a good guy
I will do nice things for Jasiek though, sometimes I might look up a recipe and make it and I will say nice things to him which I currently do. Plus I helped him out big time when I went with him to the job centre because he does not know English so I helped him. Another time he was in trouble and I helped him out as well. Also when we went to the London aquarium, London Dungeon, and Greenwich he was really happy looking at all the stuff there. So I can plan places to go to that would be enjoyable but he is deluded if he thinks I am going to pay for it, yes I did pay for him before when he was not working but now that he has a job he has no right to ask me for 1 pence.
You life sounds so hard, 29 and expecting to live off your boyfriend for free or take money and live off your parents for free.
How about you contribute to the relationship? I would have never moved in with my boyfriend expecting to not pay half the expenses. I guess financial responsibility is not a thing where you come from.
I do contribute to the relationship by speaking English (Jasiek can't speak English at all), telling Jasiek that I love him, spending time with him, and coming up with cool places to go to like parks and museums.
I just want a girl who will mooch off me, tell me she loves me in English, spend some time with me in English and find cool places to go on dates like parks and museums because I'm absolute rubbish at planning dates.
If you throw in some sausage for dinner... That I will cook occasionally but will probably not clean up.... Then I'm your girl.
Ill even pick out spices you have to buy for our home.
I made lasagna for dinner sorry
Homemade? Or freezer?
It matters ya know.
I’m Italian, I don’t sin like that.
Sorry I didn't know.
I usually date polish men.
I've never dated a polish man, how is it?
Its eezy peezy lemon squeezey.0 -
They do all the work for you!0
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WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »They do all the work for you!
True. I don't even type my own responses. Being a kept woman and all that I just tell him what yo type.
*to type.
Gosh.0 -
Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »They do all the work for you!
True. I don't even type my own responses. Being a kept woman and all that I just tell him what yo type.
Your boy can’t spell tho0 -
eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »They do all the work for you!
True. I don't even type my own responses. Being a kept woman and all that I just tell him what yo type.
Your boy can’t spell tho
He doesn't speak English
1 -
Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »lisawolfinger wrote: »Married and have always helped with the bills. My husband is even a six figure wage earner. I don't make peanuts myself but not nearly his salary...yet we PROPORTIONETLY share household bills. He is a good man and terrific father and deserves to have me contribute, regardless of income difference. Could I not pay...sure! I just have more respect for him then to laden him with all the expenses when I am capable. I also have more respect for myself. I would feel like such a moocher.
Different if you have talked and have an agreement...like not working while attending Grad school or caring for kids, but in reality, this is not the 1950's. If you wanted to be treated like a modern women, then be one...pay up.
My bigger question-what is going on with the OPs emotions that makes her consider this is a business arrangement? I think that whole thing needs to be checked. Insecurity is the out cry of deeper issues in a relationship.
Bottom line this is not about money because I could be getting plenty of money from my parents if I asked them for it. I am a little broke right now because I spent 2 months' money from my parents because I was sightseeing like crazy and bought a lot of souvenirs, but in the long run this is not about money. I will have less money with Jasiek than with my parents and on vacations we will have to go to cheap places since he works in construction. However it is a matter of principle, I would feel extremely uncomfortable if he expected me to pay if we went somewhere. I mean I would like to go with him to America in the future so we can go to Disneyland but it would be incredibly inappropriate of him to expect me to pay for my own ticket or worse, for his one, so even though my parents wouldn't mind paying for it we will probably have to stay in London but we may go to Poland from time to time.
It is nice of you to contribute to the bills and stuff and it is wonderful that your husband is such a good guy
I will do nice things for Jasiek though, sometimes I might look up a recipe and make it and I will say nice things to him which I currently do. Plus I helped him out big time when I went with him to the job centre because he does not know English so I helped him. Another time he was in trouble and I helped him out as well. Also when we went to the London aquarium, London Dungeon, and Greenwich he was really happy looking at all the stuff there. So I can plan places to go to that would be enjoyable but he is deluded if he thinks I am going to pay for it, yes I did pay for him before when he was not working but now that he has a job he has no right to ask me for 1 pence.
You life sounds so hard, 29 and expecting to live off your boyfriend for free or take money and live off your parents for free.
How about you contribute to the relationship? I would have never moved in with my boyfriend expecting to not pay half the expenses. I guess financial responsibility is not a thing where you come from.
I do contribute to the relationship by speaking English (Jasiek can't speak English at all), telling Jasiek that I love him, spending time with him, and coming up with cool places to go to like parks and museums.
I just want a girl who will mooch off me, tell me she loves me in English, spend some time with me in English and find cool places to go on dates like parks and museums because I'm absolute rubbish at planning dates.
If you throw in some sausage for dinner... That I will cook occasionally but will probably not clean up.... Then I'm your girl.
Ill even pick out spices you have to buy for our home.
I made lasagna for dinner sorry
Homemade? Or freezer?
It matters ya know.
I’m Italian, I don’t sin like that.
Sorry I didn't know.
I usually date polish men.
I've never dated a polish man, how is it?
Its eezy peezy lemon squeezey.
Can I?
Carry on.0 -
poetic_cell wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »Whybelesswhenyoucanbmore wrote: »eccomi_qui wrote: »lisawolfinger wrote: »Married and have always helped with the bills. My husband is even a six figure wage earner. I don't make peanuts myself but not nearly his salary...yet we PROPORTIONETLY share household bills. He is a good man and terrific father and deserves to have me contribute, regardless of income difference. Could I not pay...sure! I just have more respect for him then to laden him with all the expenses when I am capable. I also have more respect for myself. I would feel like such a moocher.
Different if you have talked and have an agreement...like not working while attending Grad school or caring for kids, but in reality, this is not the 1950's. If you wanted to be treated like a modern women, then be one...pay up.
My bigger question-what is going on with the OPs emotions that makes her consider this is a business arrangement? I think that whole thing needs to be checked. Insecurity is the out cry of deeper issues in a relationship.
Bottom line this is not about money because I could be getting plenty of money from my parents if I asked them for it. I am a little broke right now because I spent 2 months' money from my parents because I was sightseeing like crazy and bought a lot of souvenirs, but in the long run this is not about money. I will have less money with Jasiek than with my parents and on vacations we will have to go to cheap places since he works in construction. However it is a matter of principle, I would feel extremely uncomfortable if he expected me to pay if we went somewhere. I mean I would like to go with him to America in the future so we can go to Disneyland but it would be incredibly inappropriate of him to expect me to pay for my own ticket or worse, for his one, so even though my parents wouldn't mind paying for it we will probably have to stay in London but we may go to Poland from time to time.
It is nice of you to contribute to the bills and stuff and it is wonderful that your husband is such a good guy
I will do nice things for Jasiek though, sometimes I might look up a recipe and make it and I will say nice things to him which I currently do. Plus I helped him out big time when I went with him to the job centre because he does not know English so I helped him. Another time he was in trouble and I helped him out as well. Also when we went to the London aquarium, London Dungeon, and Greenwich he was really happy looking at all the stuff there. So I can plan places to go to that would be enjoyable but he is deluded if he thinks I am going to pay for it, yes I did pay for him before when he was not working but now that he has a job he has no right to ask me for 1 pence.
You life sounds so hard, 29 and expecting to live off your boyfriend for free or take money and live off your parents for free.
How about you contribute to the relationship? I would have never moved in with my boyfriend expecting to not pay half the expenses. I guess financial responsibility is not a thing where you come from.
I do contribute to the relationship by speaking English (Jasiek can't speak English at all), telling Jasiek that I love him, spending time with him, and coming up with cool places to go to like parks and museums.
I just want a girl who will mooch off me, tell me she loves me in English, spend some time with me in English and find cool places to go on dates like parks and museums because I'm absolute rubbish at planning dates.
If you throw in some sausage for dinner... That I will cook occasionally but will probably not clean up.... Then I'm your girl.
Ill even pick out spices you have to buy for our home.
I made lasagna for dinner sorry
Homemade? Or freezer?
It matters ya know.
I’m Italian, I don’t sin like that.
Sorry I didn't know.
I usually date polish men.
I've never dated a polish man, how is it?
Its eezy peezy lemon squeezey.
Can I?
Carry on.
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xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »Avocado_AS5 wrote: »Yeah.... how long have you been dating? Maybe ask him if he means splitting the rent and living together? I'm gonna back out of this now. I'm soooo not qualified to give any relationship advice.
Way too cynical. hahaha
Please don't laugh but we've only been together for 3 weeks, we are both emotional people. And by the way the reason I am so broke now is that he spent a loooot of my money, I didn't even keep track....so I'm not using him at all!
What kind of stuff did he buy with your money? How long did you know him before you handed him your credit card?
Hi, well what I mean is that I went to some museums and parks with him and they cost money like the aquarium but he didn't have money as he hadn't started working so I had to pay for him. I also had to put money on his Oyster card as well and I topped up his phone 20 pounds. I would say I had known him for a few days before we started sightseeing.
Sounds like he's using you. But, I still stand by my comment of it being equal partnership. Not one or the other paying for everything.
Actually I don't think he is using me as he gets paid tomorrow and I have his bank card and pin number so I plan on withdrawing the money that he owes me. When we do move into somewhere I plan on purchasing flowers.
In essence Jasiek works 8 pm - 5 pm daily approximately in construction 5 days a week and then for me I wake up, go to the gym, read books from the library, hang out with people during the day, and then meet up with Jasiek. Sometimes I also study Polish, I listen to music and watch TV as well.
Does he know you're going to withdraw the money? Neither of you seem mature enough to handle an adult relationship. I cannot believe you are 29 years old.0 -
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People like this really exist? All of this is a parenting failure.
..priceless reading and entertainment though0 -
I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.9
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WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.
lolololol im there with you dont worry xD3 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.
You and me both sister
Or maybe he's a figment of her imagination.
Hey, could be even one of the fictional book characters! Brb.0 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.
Maybe it’s because of your tough exterior?0 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.
Ugh. Preach.
*kitten* sickening.0 -
WhereIsPJSoles wrote: »I hate this thread now because I have to sit here realizing I’m single and people like this get boyfriends.
I refuse to believe that this' true, it's implausible; that I am this unlucky!0 -
Since I clearly have no better sheiße to do, I looked for everything Jasiek and this caught my eye. There's a book called Jasiek by Ewa Nowacka and here's the description (English translation made possible by Google):
Get to know each other: this is Jasiek, Agnieszka, it's Marek, Katarzyna, Artur, besides, there will be even more ... Literary portraits of these girls and boys were created by well-known and liked by you authors. Our heroes have fifteen or sixteen years of age, very different characters, interests and attitudes - as is the case with teenagers. We still do not know for sure how many portraits and ... problems that modern times bring with us, we will present you in this series, but we hope that you will get to know these new friends well, understand and ... you will like. Or maybe moments of reflection on this reading will help you to solve your problems, which are often very important and difficult?
Coincidence? I think not.0 -
For the love of all that is holy!!!! Eat the boyfriend already and get it over with!!2
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I would go back a step and ask whether you two share the same values. The values are key to a future together. (If you trusted in your future together you would sell your place or give up the lease in order to participate in the cost of your new place together.)0
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Keeping up with the Kielbasa’s starring Jasiek
I’d watch the hell out of this4 -
Is this jasiek legal?
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All right all right you guys. This thing with Jasiek has been going on for years. Apparently he's found a new girlfriend but he's had other girls at MFP and he really has a way of upsetting his partners.
Read this very old, 9 page chit chat thread if you don't believe me.
Love you Bright Crystal
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1295172/inspirational-dream/p1
OK, I'm outta here and going back to the poo thread. I know where I am with poo.1 -
BruinsGal_91 wrote: »All right all right you guys. This thing with Jasiek has been going on for years. Apparently he's found a new girlfriend but he's had other girls at MFP and he really has a way of upsetting his partners.
Read this very old, 9 page chit chat thread if you don't believe me.
Love you Bright Crystal
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1295172/inspirational-dream/p1
OK, I'm outta here and going back to the poo thread. I know where I am with poo.
Don't go it's just getting good!
Edit: autocorrect and I aren't friends0 -
If I believed this was real, which I *don't*, Jasiek wants a green card. And as a Pole, I could see how his Polish brain could try to request splitting the rent and having it come out as you need to pay me. That's if I believed this was real, which it isn't. For my sanity's sake, it can't be.0
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If I believed this was real, which I *don't*, Jasiek wants a green card. And as a Pole, I could see how his Polish brain could try to request splitting the rent and having it come out as you need to pay me. That's if I believed this was real, which it isn't. For my sanity's sake, it can't be.
If this is real I'm gonna be alone forever, why couldn't my parents be rich asf so a polish man could use me for a green card?! /s0 -
It's appropriate to expect you to pay 1/2 of the expenses. If he's asking for more than 1/2 then NO. Asking you to pay your own way is appropriate, making a profit from living with you is not!0
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dinadyna21 wrote: »If I believed this was real, which I *don't*, Jasiek wants a green card. And as a Pole, I could see how his Polish brain could try to request splitting the rent and having it come out as you need to pay me. That's if I believed this was real, which it isn't. For my sanity's sake, it can't be.
If this is real I'm gonna be alone forever, why couldn't my parents be rich asf so a polish man could use me for a green card?! /s
You and me both. We might as well start adopting cats.2 -
You sound like a hella spoilt child. It's called paying rent ffs2
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With my SO, we moved in together while dating but he let me pick the place and we had a very straight forward conversation about money. It was a mutual discussion and set up so that expenses were taken care of by a percentage of our income. It should be mutual, it’s not one person paying another, it’s more like, the bills have to be paid.0
This discussion has been closed.
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