Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
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My own little Lent has been successful 40 days dry. Feeling better than ever. No fear of going out and worrying if I'll ruin my Saturday with a hangover. Mood has been quite stable those 40 days. Flatter stomach. Clear thinking , maybe a slight exaggeration but I think my vision is clearer like I see colors brighter. I wonder if I've lost any fat on the liver. Probably my organs are working more efficiently because they're not taxed with alcohol toxicity. Now, if only, the sun would come out. This Ohio weather has been mostly cloudy for the last three months. Can't wait for spring! Xo14
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springsweet wrote: »springsweet wrote: »It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
I guess I am not really understanding what your experience of blackout is. I have had too much to drink at times and passed out. Or to much to drink and don't recall the entire evenings events. Is either of those what you mean?
Please refer to pages 14-16 in 'Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget' by Sarah Hepola. She describes it well, as only someone who repeatedly suffered from blackouts can.
But to paraphrase, at some certain point, your blood reaches a saturation point and shuts down the hippocampus, the part of your brain which makes long-term memories. Just shuts down. No more memories. Your short-term memory still works but only lasts less than 2 minutes (which explains why wasted ppl repeat themselves). They vary from person to person, and are very sneaky. And you can be highly functional during a blackout. I'll never forget my good friend from college telling me about the night we met when he helped me puke up a bunch of whisky, but in between barfs, my speech was completely coherent. I seemed fine, besides the fact I was slumped over a stranger's toilet. Some blackouts are worse than others. Sometimes you may have a "brownout", which Sarah explains with the example, "Perhaps you remember ordering your drink, but not walking to the bar." I've had too many brownouts to count.
Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
Yes, it was a great book. Excellent. It was a journey reading it. Sometimes, I thought, wow she was a serious alcoholic. Most other times, I thought "Oh my, I did that, too." Hiding how much I drank. Stopping after work for a few drinks before going home pretending I worked late. Happy when husband left to go out, and I would throw myself a little party making manhattans since no one was home. I didn't have to quietly get the bottles out of the cabinet so they wouldn't clink as I took them out. Falling asleep on the bathroom floor, because the room was spinning. Crying and saying things I regret to my husband. Ouch. Accidentally calling my mother at midnight after drinking and waking her up. Trying to speak normally to her so she wouldn't know I was slurring.
I agree , it would have been better to just pass out. The blackouts or brownouts left so many unanswered questions of what I said or did.
Thanks for sharing how the brain works. Very important information. Xo10 -
dressagerider1020 wrote: »erikNJ, did you see Jason Kelce's speech on the Art Museum steps? Priceless! Pretty sure he was lit up a little. Let me know if you need a link.
After I posted that, I realized it must have been all over Philly tv and radio yesterday, last night and this morning. I've been listening to WIP (I'm in TX) for the last month, I wish I had listened this morning to hear about their take on the parade.
Haha yes! He has become quite the local legend for the one!
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Feels good being back on track. Ate healthy yesterday, and no drinking at all.
Woke up this morning and did yoga. I am very determined to stick to my yoga goal this month.8 -
Day 2 at the beach and not drinking with my friends. Reading these experiences is keeping me from even being tempted. The brutal honesty and self reflection in this group is awe inspiring. You are all my heroes.
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I am not AF (yet) but I kept my goal yesterday and every day this week by having less each day than the day before.
I turned down going for drinks after work yesterday. I broke my habit of reaching for a beer as soon as I got home from work yesterday too. I did p90x legs and back for the first time in ages.
My head is feeling clearer already. My legs are sore but my head feels better!
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I was reflecting last night where I was at in my drinking world this time last year. I remember struggling with myself everyday...promising myself as soon as I woke up, "OK that's it, no more out of control drinking, today is the day I cut back." The no alcohol days never seemed to produce for me. I may have dropped off by a drink or two for a while but then "something" whether good or bad would trigger a day of having to much. And feeling like **** the next morning.
It is wonderful now not to fight with myself. Because that is what it boils down to. Even though in the past I would try to pass off MY drinking on meeting with friends, or holidays or hot Summer nights or snowy days or just about anything it is up to me no one else.7 -
12 consecutive dry days (and that's even with two phone calls from my mother in the last 24 hours)! It's been 15 months since I've been able to say that. Like many here, I'm an all-or-nothing drinker. Cutting it out completely, at least for now, seems to be the only option.
My mini goal is simply to make it through each day. Next is to stay dry for the month of February. Main goal is to stay dry until my checkup in April. If family comes into town for Easter though, I'm not sure how well I'll do right at the end. Still, no point in worrying about right now.7 -
Ugh! Accepted an invitation to have a beer after work last night which turned into 3 followed by 3 pieces of pizza. Clearly I have control issues (with both alcohol and food) like many here have said. I know 3 beers is not that many but I drink heavy dark beers with high alcohol content and calories. I know I would have continued to drink when I got home if I there had been any beer in the house. Luckily there was not. Between the pizza and the beer I ate more than double my calorie goal for the day. Also I was up for a couple of hours in the middle of the night with acid reflux and heartburn.
Today's another opportunity to be successful in my goals. Happy Saturday everyone!9 -
Had my (one) Friday glass of chardonnay. It was good . . . but somehow not as thrilling as I thought it would be, which mirrors my experience of last weekend. There's this buildup and excitement (Oh boy! It's Friday! I can drink!) that for two weekends in a row has been pretty anticlimactic. Had my glass of wine out at the beach for sunset and didn't have anymore when I got home. I'm beginning to think the thing that I really liked was drinking unlimited amounts of wine without thinking about it very much and, since I've decided not to do that, the one glass is just kind of . . . okay. Still pondering all this.
BTW, I noticed this morning that, in addition to my skin looking better, my eyes look better. Ya know how they can get bleary looking with too much booze? Had seen that way too often. Not a good look.9 -
BTW, I noticed this morning that, in addition to my skin looking better, my eyes look better. Ya know how they can get bleary looking with too much booze? Had seen that way too often. Not a good look.
I know what your talking about with your eyes and skin looking better. I was amazed that the alcohol sucks the moisture out of your skin when you drink. And it narrowed my eyes so they looked like I was squinting all the time.
What a great bonus for us women and men too.6 -
Had my limited intake last night. Waited until 9 pm to even think about a drink and after eating dinner. What a difference it makes. I think I actually moderated. This is more like it. The break is making me think more clearly about everything. Onward through February this way with no over drinking and no hangovers!
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Happy Saturday, everyone. @JulieAL1969, I was in your fair state a week ago. I wish you sunny days ahead. It was hard not seeing the sun even for 4 days. I hope that makes it all that much sweeter when it finally shows itself. @ErikNJ, I'm glad I wasn't yet trying to go AF last October when my beloved Astros won the Series! However, I will see their first home game on April 2 and it will be the first beer-less MLB game for me since I was about 10. A Mardis Gras parade will go right past my house in about 2 hours, followed by a big party and then a brunch tomorrow, with alcohol a-plenty at both events. It really is amazing how there is ALWAYS an occasion for drinking, whether bad weather, major sports events, or one of a zillion special celebrations. Talk about cognitive dissonance . . . this year Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday coincide. That's just weird. I'm thankful today that the "I won't' drink" muscle is getting stronger, and the urge isn't so painfully strong as it was 20 days ago. Yay!9
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Dude. I drank two glasses of wine last night and have fuzzy headache today. Tolerance down - wine is not as glamorous as I remember9
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I too, drank last night. No specific reason other than I was just exhausted from two days of hell at work. Not a good reason I know. Had 3 large glasses of champagne. Feel ok today and only woke up once during the night but that was probably due to being tired because I'm usually up for an hour or two in the middle of the night when I drink. Back to AF....the struggle is real my friends!! Have a great weekend all!6
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Had a difficult day today. Was feeling really anxious and wanted to get some beer from the supermarket, compromised by getting some ice cream but then ended up eating it all! Ugh. Felt really bad afterwards so trying to hold on to the feeling to try and make better decisions next time. Hopefully a better day tomorrow and glad at least that I avoided having alcohol when feeling stressed and worried as I have often done in the past. Need to do the same with comfort food too now.5
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Sorry you had a bad day, but you have a good attitude for tomorrow. It's hard to battle both food and alcohol - either one by itself is hard enough! Good thing I quit smoking 27 years ago!
I went to bed early last night (nothing to drink) and had so much to do around the house today, I managed to avoid it. I don't have anything in the house and the temp is dropping, so too cold to go to the store.
The posts about feeling better, no headache, etc, are really helping me. I felt really good today, and got a lot accomplished. It's always better without, so I'll try to do it again tomorrow.3 -
Day 2 at the beach and not drinking with my friends. Reading these experiences is keeping me from even being tempted. The brutal honesty and self reflection in this group is awe inspiring. You are all my heroes.
Yes, I very much appreciate that. I must admit that it has encouraged/forced me to be brutally honest with myself as well.
Well done on resisting alcohol at the beach. you should be proud!4 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »springsweet wrote: »It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
I guess I am not really understanding what your experience of blackout is. I have had too much to drink at times and passed out. Or to much to drink and don't recall the entire evenings events. Is either of those what you mean?
Please refer to pages 14-16 in 'Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget' by Sarah Hepola. She describes it well, as only someone who repeatedly suffered from blackouts can.
But to paraphrase, at some certain point, your blood reaches a saturation point and shuts down the hippocampus, the part of your brain which makes long-term memories. Just shuts down. No more memories. Your short-term memory still works but only lasts less than 2 minutes (which explains why wasted ppl repeat themselves). They vary from person to person, and are very sneaky. And you can be highly functional during a blackout. I'll never forget my good friend from college telling me about the night we met when he helped me puke up a bunch of whisky, but in between barfs, my speech was completely coherent. I seemed fine, besides the fact I was slumped over a stranger's toilet. Some blackouts are worse than others. Sometimes you may have a "brownout", which Sarah explains with the example, "Perhaps you remember ordering your drink, but not walking to the bar." I've had too many brownouts to count.
Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.
Yes, it was a great book. Excellent. It was a journey reading it. Sometimes, I thought, wow she was a serious alcoholic. Most other times, I thought "Oh my, I did that, too." Hiding how much I drank. Stopping after work for a few drinks before going home pretending I worked late. Happy when husband left to go out, and I would throw myself a little party making manhattans since no one was home. I didn't have to quietly get the bottles out of the cabinet so they wouldn't clink as I took them out. Falling asleep on the bathroom floor, because the room was spinning. Crying and saying things I regret to my husband. Ouch. Accidentally calling my mother at midnight after drinking and waking her up. Trying to speak normally to her so she wouldn't know I was slurring.
I agree , it would have been better to just pass out. The blackouts or brownouts left so many unanswered questions of what I said or did.
Thanks for sharing how the brain works. Very important information. Xo
Wow, Julie. It sound like you have made a very major change in your life. I continue to be impressed and inspired by your resolve. Thanks for that!5 -
Last night was pretty easy to keep it under control because I had a race this morning. It wasn't a big or important race, but I always get a bit of nervous energy the night before a race, so I did have my usual pre-race eve glass of wine. Just one, and I measured it. Typically I would come home from a race and pour a drink to celebrate. I did not do that today. I agreed to meet a group of runners in the morning for a long run instead.
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Thanks Iporter, I've not had a drink since 31st dec, having decided to just carry on with dry jan. I don't think my aim is to abstain long term but I was conscious that I didn't want my first beer for a long time to be one with the aim of reliving stress or anxiety, I don't want to encourage my brain to have that association with alcohol. That's the worst craving I've had by far, and it's been nearly 6 weeks6
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PSA - avoid watching curling if you can, it will make you wanna get a drink6
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jenifer7teen wrote: »Gah trying so hard to resist wine. I am cranky and tired from a ten mile run in the cold and annoyed by my husband and child and realky just want one glass to take my edge off!!! But i am planning to drink tommorow (a friend has big birthday plans, got babysitter, etc) .
Gah. I turned down happy hour invite today too. I just gotta stay strong a few more hours. Or maybe i just need to go to bed. Thought venting here might help. Trying to follow the "wait 6 minute" rule....
I hear u.. Some people here could tel u theyve heard a similar cry out from me.
I went for a drive one night i had trouble and had some time out alone. Finding some peace and quite.
I watch a movie i enjoyed of my phone until i was falling off to sleep.
Meditation is good too.
Sending u love and care vibes...
Thanks for encouragement! I did make it to bed without a drink last night. But it took more effort than usual.... not sure all the factors. I guess we all jyst have days that are harder to get through without our habitual indulgences...5 -
Just joined my fitness pal and saw this - Gained 10 pounds and flab just by drinking my calories and not exercising after fracturing my foot three years ago. Used that as an excuse. I'm 'back in it' and this discussion will help tremendously. Three weeks of zero drinks. Goal is 9 more weeks at least. Thank you for all of the discussion and info!
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Just joined my fitness pal and saw this - Gained 10 pounds and flab just by drinking my calories and not exercising after fracturing my foot three years ago. Used that as an excuse. I'm 'back in it' and this discussion will help tremendously. Three weeks of zero drinks. Goal is 9 more weeks at least. Thank you for all of the discussion and info!
I had surgery last January for a torn rotator cuff. I injured my shoulder in September of 2016. Anyway, inactivity after the injury and more inactivity following the surgery, resulted in a gain of 36 pounds. Of course most of that weight gain was caused by alcohol calories . I've lost 28 lbs since July, 2017 with about 8-9 more to go.8 -
First-ever post on MFP, seems like a good place to start. I know evening snacking/vino is sabotaging me but can't seem to rein it in.
For next week: only time for a drink is Valentine's dinner outing 8 -
I just have to say I LOVE reading this thread. I feel like I get so much information and inspiration from all of you. From the die hards who are totally AF to the ones like me who are teetering between AF and moderation or figuring out WTH really works. Please keep sharing your experiences so we all can relate and feel honest to express our feelings with no judgment. Happy beautiful Sunday!16
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runtodayamyrun wrote: »I just have to say I LOVE reading this thread. I feel like I get so much information and inspiration from all of you. From the die hards who are totally AF to the ones like me who are teetering between AF and moderation or figuring out WTH really works. Please keep sharing your experiences so we all can relate and feel honest to express our feelings with no judgment. Happy beautiful Sunday!
sorry i hope im not being rude but this makes me laugh...
Xo4
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