Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time

@dressagerider1020 I'm pretty old! I quit smoking July 22, 1990, age 35 after 22 years of smoking, 15 of them "trying" to stop. Those times when I started again, I guess I learned, but with that addiction it does seem to be that when I reverted to smoking after a long (or short) quit, I smoked more and more! It was very important, when I finally did quit, to be able to be around people smoking and to be non-judgmental. This had been a stumbling block during previous successes with leaving it alone. Also, I wanted to quit because I was embarrassed to smoke. I don't miss it a bit, and haven't for years, but the first year, I was really depressed and crazy. I learned a lot about that addiction, and to this day quitting is one of my proudest and most important accomplishments. One thing that is really important is to have a very personal reason to quit -- for me it was vanity, or how I identified or thought of myself. I did not like smelling of cigarettes, etc. and wanted to be a person that did not smoke, so I tried to think like a person who did not smoke. For instance, a non-smoker does not deliberate about whether to smoke when under stress. I learned that there is an incredibly strong subconscious inclination to smoke (well trained over the years!). About 5 years cigarette-free, I mused whether there were circumstances under which I'd smoke, and I questioned whether I would smoke if I had a terminal illness. I cut that thought down immediately, knowing that if there were circumstances which would allow me to smoke, then there might even be an unconscious volition to create those circumstances! I know that would seem very far-fetched to a lot of people, but not to me. Bottom line, it is a matter of reinventing oneself and identifying with the new, improved version. Thanks for asking about this ... it really is a huge deal to stop smoking, and ... to redefine our view of alcohol, as I'm now learning.

@dressagerider1020 I smoked from age 15-45 with the exception of when I was 9 months I was pregnant, twice. I'm 9 years smoke free. I think it got easier to quit (I tried several times) as it got more and more frowned upon by society plus when they made our bars and restaurants smoke-free that made it easier to quit. I was sick of trying to hide it from my kids and neighbors etc. Anyway, I used the patch. I just cut it in half every 3 days or so until it was just about gone and so I weaned myself slowly. I wish there was an alcohol patch but there is no such thing unfortch.

Polo265 wrote: »

Cardinals_3 wrote: »

Anyone else have trouble sleeping after you quit or cut back? Any recommendations? I've been waking up A LOT at night. Someone at work recommended taking GABA supplements--I took one last night and I did fall asleep easily but then was up half the night. I fell asleep ok at a reasonable hour and slept until about 1:30 am but then I was wide awake and could not fall back asleep until about 5am. I'm not really a big fan of tea--I thought about trying a sleepytime tea or something like that.

YES! I'm on my 32nd day and only manage 5-7 hrs of sleep per night. I do take the magnesium citrate supplements and drink either Sleepytime or chamomile tea in the evening. Last night I downloaded 'Headspace', a meditation app. I'm anxious to try it tonight.

I am doing 5-7 most night, try and make it up on weekends.

JulieAL1969 wrote: »

springsweet wrote: »

MissMay wrote: »

springsweet wrote: »

It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.

I guess I am not really understanding what your experience of blackout is. I have had too much to drink at times and passed out. Or to much to drink and don't recall the entire evenings events. Is either of those what you mean?

Please refer to pages 14-16 in 'Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget' by Sarah Hepola. She describes it well, as only someone who repeatedly suffered from blackouts can.
But to paraphrase, at some certain point, your blood reaches a saturation point and shuts down the hippocampus, the part of your brain which makes long-term memories. Just shuts down. No more memories. Your short-term memory still works but only lasts less than 2 minutes (which explains why wasted ppl repeat themselves). They vary from person to person, and are very sneaky. And you can be highly functional during a blackout. I'll never forget my good friend from college telling me about the night we met when he helped me puke up a bunch of whisky, but in between barfs, my speech was completely coherent. I seemed fine, besides the fact I was slumped over a stranger's toilet. Some blackouts are worse than others. Sometimes you may have a "brownout", which Sarah explains with the example, "Perhaps you remember ordering your drink, but not walking to the bar." I've had too many brownouts to count.
Many people confuse blacking out with passing out. Oh how I wished I passed out instead of blacked out. All those nights I said hurtful things to people I loved... so much damage and regret.
Anyway, hope this answered your question. I highly recommend that book though. I hated for it to end.

Yes, it was a great book. Excellent. It was a journey reading it. Sometimes, I thought, wow she was a serious alcoholic. Most other times, I thought "Oh my, I did that, too." Hiding how much I drank. Stopping after work for a few drinks before going home pretending I worked late. Happy when husband left to go out, and I would throw myself a little party making manhattans since no one was home. I didn't have to quietly get the bottles out of the cabinet so they wouldn't clink as I took them out. Falling asleep on the bathroom floor, because the room was spinning. Crying and saying things I regret to my husband. Ouch. Accidentally calling my mother at midnight after drinking and waking her up. Trying to speak normally to her so she wouldn't know I was slurring.
I agree , it would have been better to just pass out. The blackouts or brownouts left so many unanswered questions of what I said or did.

Thanks for sharing how the brain works. Very important information. Xo

I am just reading it now...about half way through. It is a great book.

@JulieAL1969 That guy sounds like a jack#$*. He is probably insecure about his own drinking habits.

For those interested in trying it, here is a great free site where you can listen to guided meditations. Some are very short so you can just try them out. I just sit comfortably, close my eyes, and it hit play on the computer. Very calming.

http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations

jenifer7teen wrote: »

Anyway new plan is to keep a running tally/drink total for the week. Hopefully this brings more stability to my alcohol moderating.

This is how I keep track...with a visual tally to see.

Hope it works out well for you too.