JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018

mytime6630 · February 2018

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

So it was a strange night for me last night. I am still trying to process the info I found out. Turns out that MIL has had cancer for a while. We have no idea what kind. No one told us. But it has spread and she does not have long left. My DH has a kind of love/hate relationship with her, but anyone losing there Mommy is rough. My DH likes to run away from feelings, especially concerning his family. It's going to take him a long time after she is ultimately gone, for him to come to terms with it. My issue is that I haven't lost a family member or even someone relatively close to me in about 20 years, definitely not as an adult. So I have no idea how to feel or what to feel right now. I have an awesome relationship with my Mom(It took a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness on both our parts, though.) and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose her. So I have all of these really odd feelings inside of me that I dont know what to do with. I think I might schedule an appointment with my old therapist and talk to her about it. It was just a kind of surreal night last night. The news still affected me this morning, hence why I didn't go to the gym or make the phone calls. While I was waiting for the time that I could leave for M's house, I just kind of sat there listlessly, definitely not in a good frame of mind. M made me see some things from a slightly different perspective and that helped a little but I am still kind of at a loss. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in case I am not my usually upbeat self.

I am so very very sorry. That is a lot to digest, especially not even knowing that she was ill. I think you are smart in seeing your therapist - just to talk to someone. I hope whatever time she has left that you are able to spend quality time with her. Death makes us appreciate so much the small things. But it is not something we can ever be prepared for ... like so many things in life ... you have to take it a day at a time.

I will say a prayer for you and your DH. Hugs to you my friend

Know that you are in my thoughts - and you come on here anytime you want to talk or express any feelings. We are all here for you. Take good care of you.

bookmeister86 · February 2018

Yesterday's commitments -

- Log everything I eat

- Stick to food plan

and didn't eat everything on it in the end!
- No alcohol

- Be in the green

- Meditate at lunch

Just wasn't in the mood and wanted to catch up on some life admin instead
- Leave work by 6 in order to have an hour to do French homework/ get into French mode before class

Left at 6.25 and faffed around when I got to the place so didn't actually finish the homework. Felt bad about this as the teacher was super nice about it... But also made it clear that by not doing it, I was underprepared for the class (as I didn't know any of the new vocab we were going to be using). Must make more effort in future! I think I'm going to schedule in a time for doing the homework, rather than just trusting that 'I'll find time at some point's

Today's commitments -

- Log everything I eat
- Stick to food plan
- Leave work by 6.30
- Exercise DVD at home
- No alcohol

- 30+ minute lunch break
- Meditate OR life admin at lunch
- Check email only at selected intervals

bookmeister86 · February 2018

@Bex953172 Good luck!! I'm so pleased that it's coming to an end, you've had a tough time. Excited that you will get to meet her in less than a week!! On your worries - maybe you could ask your GP/other knowledgeable medical person for some advice on how to stay calm? Breathing techniques perhaps? Am confident you'll be fine though. You know you can do it - you're a pro at this, you've done it before (twice!)

@Hgsmith8496 Really sorry to hear your news, that is hard. As someone who lost their dad a few years ago - relatively young - my advice is not to worry too much about what to do/ say - there isn't a 'right' thing to say or do other than to just make sure that you're there for him and respond to what he feels he needs - which I'm sure you will be/do! I think it's a great idea to see your therapist - it's important to look after yourself in order to make sure that you're in good shape to support him!

chemjenny · February 2018

Well I’m back. Been off on vacation and sick before that, and fell off the wagon. Have some ground to gain back. It is amazing how much you can gain in a few days of unsupervised eating. I need to get back in the habits.

On the bright side, had a really nice getaway with two of my kids to San Francisco. They had never been before, so it was fun taking them around.

JFT 2/21
Log
Go to bed early
Drink water
Come back here tonight

Saragirl2 · February 2018

I'm so behind on the reading the posts! Kids are out of school this week in Massachusetts for vacation and I'm minding our friend's large luvable dog so it's not my usual schedule. Still tracking but I can see myself craving carbs.

Walk dogs 30 mins in neighborhood.
Meditate 25 mins this afternoon
Drink water-64oz min.
Donate blood today.
Track all my meals today-low carb/high protein. Aim for 1 gram of protein per lb at goal weight (150 grams of protein).
Remind myself that this helps with bingeing.
Packed protein bar & Apple in car.
Plan rest of weeks suppers.
Reorganize/declutter desk-continue.
Need to read some inspiration stories.
Reorganize planner binders for Boy Scouts, Kids/school, recipes, Sunday School & more. Turn in expenses.
A little self care, feeling run down.
Research anti inflammatory foods.

I'm printing off this list and posting it on my fridge! Have a great Wednesday

leahkathleen13 · February 2018

Hi all, while noticing a small amount of progress, the self talk saying to go ahead and indulge are telling me I’ve earned it. My goal is to keep my intentions strong, celebrate that my plans are working and ignore the self sabotage that is creeping up. Internal vision of my goal self needs to be intact.
Calorie goal
Yoga class
Bike path run
Cleaning projects around house
Prep another veggie soup for week

Thanks to all in his thread, you inspire me!

amberkins · February 2018

I'm so glad I found this post, this is exactly what I need. I tend to set goals way too high and ultimately fail from being overwhelmed.

I am in the process of gastric bypass. This hasn't been a well-received Topic in the past for me here at MyFitnessPal. I'm not going to lie about who I am and what I'm doing though. I'm in the crunch time for pre op and i need accountability more than ever. Believe me, I know the risks and I know what I want in my future. A family.

JFT 2/21

1. Log all food
2. Drink 64 oz water
3. Walk on my breaks
4. Go to the gym right after work
5. Get to bed my 9pm.

Bex953172 · February 2018

amberkins wrote: »

I'm so glad I found this post, this is exactly what I need. I tend to set goals way too high and ultimately fail from being overwhelmed.

I am in the process of gastric bypass. This hasn't been a well-received Topic in the past for me here at MyFitnessPal. I'm not going to lie about who I am and what I'm doing though. I'm in the crunch time for pre op and i need accountability more than ever. Believe me, I know the risks and I know what I want in my future. A family.

JFT 2/21

1. Log all food
2. Drink 64 oz water
3. Walk on my breaks
4. Go to the gym right after work
5. Get to bed my 9pm.

No judgement here

you gotta do what you gotta do!
It’s your choice what you do and sod anyone else who thinks so!
They don’t carry out gastric band procedures for a joke! So don’t feel like you should hide away from telling people!

Anyway, your goals sound good and achievable!!
Looking forward to see how you do!

How much do you need to lose for pre-op?

HGSmith0920 · February 2018

About 5 minutes ago I was sitting on my couch with a cat on my lap looking at this page on my computer and just feeling numb. I was thinking about the whole situation and just bring couldn't myself to actually put words on the screen. I was sitting there, totally at a loss. I ended up having to grab my laptop and my coffee and come out onto my back deck to be able to type this.

It's been so long since I've been through this. I feel like I'm psyching myself up. Like I'm having anticipatory depression for an event that hasn't even happened yet. I think that I am going to call my therapist today and set up an appointment. I have no idea how to process this and it's freaking me. I was 11 the last time I lost someone even semi-close to me. I am now 29. These are all new feelings. It just feels so odd to me. I know that eventually, I will have to deal with again. I have very close older people who are in their 80's in my life, as well as my parents and a second couple I consider like parents who are in their 60's and 70's. So this won't be a new thing in my life eventually. I know that I am just going to have to accept that as fact. I guess the first one will train me on how to deal with it myself. I know it's probably not going to be the same feelings for each of them, but at least I will have some idea.

I just hope that the DH lets me in when it happens. When it comes to his family, if he doesn't see what's going on then he doesn't think about it(I know there's a phrase for that. I just can't think of what it is). I am the only one he's ever told about a lot of his past. His family, friends and even his therapist dont even know a quarter of what his life was like when he was a teenager and into his early 20's. He opened up really quickly to me when we got together, however. I'm hoping that that same thing happens with this. It's going to take him a while to roll the idea and the event around in his head before he is ready to talk about it. He has to look at it from all sides and really see how he feels about it. I really hope that I can stand it while he does that and not demand to know what he is thinking. My DH has never been suicidal, at least not that he's ever told me or shown signs of, but he was a heavy drug user, alcoholic, and smoker. I'm really hoping that this doesn't lead him back into bad habits. I know it probably won't because he has more stubborn willpower than a Clydesdale.

Anyway, I'm sorry for my ramble. I just felt like I needed to get that out and I didnt know who else to tell.

junodog1 · February 2018

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

So it was a strange night for me last night. I am still trying to process the info I found out. Turns out that MIL has had cancer for a while. We have no idea what kind. No one told us. But it has spread and she does not have long left. My DH has a kind of love/hate relationship with her, but anyone losing there Mommy is rough. My DH likes to run away from feelings, especially concerning his family. It's going to take him a long time after she is ultimately gone, for him to come to terms with it. My issue is that I haven't lost a family member or even someone relatively close to me in about 20 years, definitely not as an adult. So I have no idea how to feel or what to feel right now. I have an awesome relationship with my Mom(It took a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness on both our parts, though.) and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose her. So I have all of these really odd feelings inside of me that I dont know what to do with. I think I might schedule an appointment with my old therapist and talk to her about it. It was just a kind of surreal night last night. The news still affected me this morning, hence why I didn't go to the gym or make the phone calls. While I was waiting for the time that I could leave for M's house, I just kind of sat there listlessly, definitely not in a good frame of mind. M made me see some things from a slightly different perspective and that helped a little but I am still kind of at a loss. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in case I am not my usually upbeat self.

My friend,you have my greatest sympathy. It can be very challenging to support a loved one as they lose a parent. My husband's mom and dad both passed away, and then my dad. It was over many years. My dad died in 2010. They were all dear to both of us. And each time it was different. And in each case it was also a bit of blessing, as their pain was over.

I especially remember when my dad passed away I had this public breakdown. A very mild breakdown but extreme for me. His death had been expected, technically for decades, but definitely for the last couple weeks of his last hospitalization. We planned a wake months later, so right at that time he was cremated and then we just kind of went on with our lives - in theory. A couple of days after he died I was in Atlanta visiting my sister and we went to church on Sunday. Somewhere in a prayer or hymn I lost it. I just started sobbing. I mean loud, heaving, can't get your breath, fall to your knees sobbing. Fortunately we were in the back and my sister helped me out to the common rooms before I fell down. Never, ever have I had total breakdown experience like that. Usually there are times when I want to cry, when I wish I cold cry, but I just can't. I fell like instead a little bit of my heart hardens more. That event was very cleansing.

In the cases of my husband's parents I had to be strong for him and for our children. Actually when his mom passed away I had to be strong for his Dad too. That is just the person I have always been, the one that keeps the even keel and moves along all the things that need to get done. But I digress...

You will do what your mind and body and your husband need you to do. You are fortunate to have each other. He is lucky to have you. Already you are thinking about what he needs and how this will impact him. I am glad that you are thinking about your feelings too as we also are hurt by our loved ones hurt.

Even those times when the person who passes away is a miserable SOB, who no one really likes, even that puts a hole in our life. I think that sometimes the loss of someone estranged must be harder emotionally because you can never repair the break once they are gone.

Keep your MIL as close as you can in her final time. You will not regret it. (But be reasonable, you still have a life to carry on yourself.)

junodog1 · February 2018

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

About 5 minutes ago I was sitting on my couch with a cat on my lap looking at this page on my computer and just feeling numb. I was thinking about the whole situation and just bring couldn't myself to actually put words on the screen. I was sitting there, totally at a loss. I ended up having to grab my laptop and my coffee and come out onto my back deck to be able to type this.

....

Anyway, I'm sorry for my ramble. I just felt like I needed to get that out and I didnt know who else to tell.

<< Hugs >> and I am glad you have a cat on your lap. That is good therapy too.

cschmitz110515 · February 2018

@HGSmith0920 So very sorry about your news, keeping you, your DH and entire family in my prayers. Good for you for scheduling a therapist appt. Sometimes, the best thing is to talk things out with an unbiased person.

@Bex953172 Wow, can't believe you are so close! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers too.

@Saragirl2 Hugs to you, my friend.

@slittlemeister Between work and life, you always have so much going on! You are inspiring that you keep going!

@amberkins Welcome! No judgment here, each person is on their own journey. Your list looks very achievable, good to keep it short.

@OConnell5483 So nice of your hubby to drive you yesterday! My hubby offered his 4WD, but with ice, what would that matter? Anyway, we had a 2-hour delay to our workday, and between road treatments and rising temps, driving was not so bad. Just had to take it slow in the parking lot. Love that you're taking inspiration from me (I'm always surprised by anyone being inspired by me

) and doing stairs breaks at work!

@joan6630 and @chemjenny Welcome back, you've been missed.

@missheidi Hope you are recovering! Hugs to you.

Happy hump day to everyone!

cschmitz110515 · February 2018

Recap T 2/20 - Late posting JFT, due to 2 hour delay starting work (icy roads), then webinar at noon. Already have two goals to check off!

1) Treadmill before work (and I didn't have to get up before sunrise

) / 3 mi 50:06 / stretched after

2) Paced 3,338 steps in office during noon webinar

3) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 16,534 steps, 250+ steps 12/14 hour (took advantage of 2-hr delay at work and stayed in bed

) and 33 floors

4) Lunch & supper (leftovers bc hubby and I are going to see Riverdance tonight...we saw it 20 years ago, really looking forward to seeing again) are prelogged / net calories green / monitor the usual = Net calories great, right on target...until got home from theatre and dipped into peanut butter jar (haven't done that in ages!) and walnut halves...not the worst thing to eat, forced myself to add to yesterday's log this morning, and definitely red net calories, sugar & sodium, at least fiber & protein good & 15c water.

My daily weigh-in stayed the same, so I'm thinking of what could've been.

5) After work: vote / mail middle brother's bday card = done x2, then saw middle brother (unexpectedly in town) at theatre with his new someone...I could've just handed him his card. LOL

6) Floss / retainers / bed 11:00 (earlier if possible) = Big nope x3

JFT W 2/21 - After late evening, no treadmill before work / today is rest day
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work
2) Net calories green / choose wisely at soup supper / maybe one small dessert / log best I can
3) Evening: soup supper at church / Lenten service / boil eggs / wash dishes / read Sunday ads
4) Unplug 9:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:30 (kinda want Olympics to be over)

biche896 · February 2018

Yesterday my goals were:

Lift - done
Apple cider vinegar - done
10k steps throughout the whole day - 16,318 steps
Ensure I burn at least 2200 calories by end of day - 2541 calories
Log and consume food as per macros - slightly off again
C25k W1D2 - I was so close to not doing C25K because I was so tired but I thought aboutthis goal list and I didn’t want to not be able to tick it off. So I did it !

Today my goals are:

Lift
Apple cider vinegar
10k steps
Ensure I burn at least 2200 calories throughout whole day
Log and consume food as per macros
Weeding / Gardening
Walk raffi

missheidi · February 2018

annndddd i'm back!
I was actually back logging and so on Monday, but didn't come on here yet.
Weigh in this morning was 191.2, down 1.8 from last week. WOOT!!!!
I swam on monday and did yoga class yesterday.
I've decided that instead of giving something up for Lent, I'm going to add yoga everyday. I actually am committed to 30 days of yoga, that gives me a couple days if life interferes. I'm on day 2, since i did class last night. This morning i got up early and did 20 minutes.

JFT 2/21
log everything
stay green
drink 80 (40 down, kansas is SO DRY right now. )
swim 1500--I would like a mile, 1750, but we'll see. I did 1500 Monday, so leaving the goal there.
early morning yoga

tonight is crochet/knit group at church. yay.

missheidi · February 2018

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

1. Up by 715 7:30
2. Morning routine A little late but done
3. Garbage Done before the guys arrived!
4. Gym Not in the right mindset
5. Text R about Friday Meeting for breakfast next Tuesday. Introducing the DH finally!
6. PHONE CALLS BEFORE SEEING M Definitely not in the right mindset
7. Coffee and Walk with M Was wonderful!!!! I spent almost the whole day there. 1030-4
8. ACTUALLY EAT A REAL LUNCH I totally over did it! I had TWO rather large ham/turkey/cheese sandwiches on poppy seed rolls
9. Story/Research See above
10. Run to liquor store Of course, one of the few things I did do today was pick up beer! Lol
11. Read Going to read a bit before bed, which will be relatively soon
12. Nap Kinda. Fell asleep on the couch for about two hours while the DH was watching hockey
13. DH time See above
14. Dinner/Dishes Improvised some of the dinner and it turned out GREAT/Frying pan is soaking. Will do before bed
15. Finish sewing pocket Will do tomorrow...hopefully
16. Bed by 11pm Well considering it is currently 11:02...

So it was a strange night for me last night. I am still trying to process the info I found out. Turns out that MIL has had cancer for a while. We have no idea what kind. No one told us. But it has spread and she does not have long left. My DH has a kind of love/hate relationship with her, but anyone losing there Mommy is rough. My DH likes to run away from feelings, especially concerning his family. It's going to take him a long time after she is ultimately gone, for him to come to terms with it. My issue is that I haven't lost a family member or even someone relatively close to me in about 20 years, definitely not as an adult. So I have no idea how to feel or what to feel right now. I have an awesome relationship with my Mom(It took a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness on both our parts, though.) and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose her. So I have all of these really odd feelings inside of me that I dont know what to do with. I think I might schedule an appointment with my old therapist and talk to her about it. It was just a kind of surreal night last night. The news still affected me this morning, hence why I didn't go to the gym or make the phone calls. While I was waiting for the time that I could leave for M's house, I just kind of sat there listlessly, definitely not in a good frame of mind. M made me see some things from a slightly different perspective and that helped a little but I am still kind of at a loss. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. I just wanted to let you know what's going on in case I am not my usually upbeat self.

Tomorrows list is going to be relatively short and easy. The DH has the day off and it's supposed to be beautiful out so we are going to use it as a rest day. Hang out in bed, maybe play some catch in the yard, maybe a bike ride. Things like that. Oh! Since I've started cooking and making him lunches again, the DH has lost 10 lbs! That's only in 30 days! It is amazing! Lol. So maybe he won't have as terrible time losing his weight as I thought!

Anyway!

JFT, 2/21/18

1. Log all food
2. Up whenever
3. Laundry(if up early and before DH)
4. Breakfast
5. Read
6. Something active outside
7. Lunch
8. Something else active outside
9. Rest
10. Dinner(maybe on the back deck??)/Dishes
11. Rest/Hockey/Sew
12. Bed by 12

I think just being there for DH is the best thing. That way if he wants to experience the emotions, that's fine, but if he can't process them right now, that's ok too. Remember Eeyore when he was sad? He didn't want anyone to fix it or make him happy, he just wanted his friends to be there with him in his sadness.

sarah74_vt · February 2018

JFY (Tuesday, 2/20/18)
1. Drink 8 glasses of water

2. Log all my food

3. Be "in the green" with my calories for the day

4. Go to the gym (30 min circuit, 30 min treadmill)

JFT (Wednesday, 2/21/18)
1. Drink 8 glasses of water
2. Log all my food
3. Be "in the green" with my calories for the day
4. Go to the gym (30 min circuit, 30 min treadmill)
5. Laundry
6. Start packing for vacation

Bex953172 · February 2018

HGSmith0920 wrote: »

About 5 minutes ago I was sitting on my couch with a cat on my lap looking at this page on my computer and just feeling numb. I was thinking about the whole situation and just bring couldn't myself to actually put words on the screen. I was sitting there, totally at a loss. I ended up having to grab my laptop and my coffee and come out onto my back deck to be able to type this.

It's been so long since I've been through this. I feel like I'm psyching myself up. Like I'm having anticipatory depression for an event that hasn't even happened yet. I think that I am going to call my therapist today and set up an appointment. I have no idea how to process this and it's freaking me. I was 11 the last time I lost someone even semi-close to me. I am now 29. These are all new feelings. It just feels so odd to me. I know that eventually, I will have to deal with again. I have very close older people who are in their 80's in my life, as well as my parents and a second couple I consider like parents who are in their 60's and 70's. So this won't be a new thing in my life eventually. I know that I am just going to have to accept that as fact. I guess the first one will train me on how to deal with it myself. I know it's probably not going to be the same feelings for each of them, but at least I will have some idea.

I just hope that the DH lets me in when it happens. When it comes to his family, if he doesn't see what's going on then he doesn't think about it(I know there's a phrase for that. I just can't think of what it is). I am the only one he's ever told about a lot of his past. His family, friends and even his therapist dont even know a quarter of what his life was like when he was a teenager and into his early 20's. He opened up really quickly to me when we got together, however. I'm hoping that that same thing happens with this. It's going to take him a while to roll the idea and the event around in his head before he is ready to talk about it. He has to look at it from all sides and really see how he feels about it. I really hope that I can stand it while he does that and not demand to know what he is thinking. My DH has never been suicidal, at least not that he's ever told me or shown signs of, but he was a heavy drug user, alcoholic, and smoker. I'm really hoping that this doesn't lead him back into bad habits. I know it probably won't because he has more stubborn willpower than a Clydesdale.

Anyway, I'm sorry for my ramble. I just felt like I needed to get that out and I didnt know who else to tell.

Is the phrase “out of sight out of mind”?

Tbh, I don’t know how to even begin to support you.
I think ringing your therapist is a good idea, but I do think what you’re feeling is normal, I think the not knowing beforehand and then finding out when you had no idea is probably not the best way to find out and it’s no wonder it’s taken you aback.
Don’t expect to process this straight away. Just be there for eachother, I’ve become quite aware that a lot of you pray and believe in god. Maybe you could use that belief to guide you through?

Personally I don’t believe but I don’t not believe in God. I’m undecided. (I know there’s a word for that but my minds throwing a blank)
But what I do believe, is not to fear death. All our lives from the moment we’re born we fear death. It’s ingrained in us to be scared of it, but I wonder if there’s any reason to be. I mean if we all knew that there was something to “go on” to, a better place even, wouldn’t we all just kill ourselves and go to this better place? That’s a bit extreme I know, but I think the reason we don’t know what happens after death is that because we should enjoy the life we have. And afterwards we will have something else to go to and we enjoy that too.
I truly believe I will see my son again. I don’t know why, I necer believed in that sort of stuff before I lost him, it’s strange, I can almost feel in my gut that he’s out there somewhere and he’ll be there when it’s my time.
Don’t fear death, it’s inevitable.
It’s painful and it hurts people who remain “behind” but I don’t believe the end is the end.

As you remember my nana died suddenly, went for a check up at hospital for something minor I think and next moment she died.
But I just thought about who was waiting there for her, my grandad maybe, friends and family she had lost over the years.

I’m sorry I really don’t know how to support you through this. But my partner speaks with me about this quite a bit and I always find a small bit of peace in what he’s saying.

toaljasa · February 2018

@HGSmith0920 I am so sorry to hear about your m-i-l. The thing about death is that we know it is going to happen at some point. But we are never prepared for it, really, especially when it's your parents. I prayed for your husband, that he will do what he needs to do so that he does not have regrets. Regret can really wreck havoc on the mind. I also prayed God will guide you and give you the words and timing needed to best be there for your husband. It's great that you are evaluating the issue and taking action in order to keep your mind strong. Doing so will only help in responding to your husband and being strong enough for him to lean on.

toaljasa · February 2018

@Bex953172 With my last baby, the nurse said it was time to start pushing. I looked at her and said, "I am not ready to have this baby!" She replied, "Well, honey, it doesn't matter. This baby is coming out whether you are ready or not!" Enjoy the many lasts that is coming with this baby. With my last one, the nurse asked if I'd like for her to place a mirror at the foot of the bed so I could see the baby coming. I didn't think a thing about it. (it was a self standing mirror). Oh my gosh, it was...well, I can't explain it, but I'm so glad I had the opportunity to witness the birth as it was happening. I think it was calming and encouraging...I got to see what all this pain and such was all about. We are all excited around here, anticipating your announcement to your MFP friends.

JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018

Replies

Categories