My date with the person above me was going great until...

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Replies

  • TerranandKaylynsmommy
    TerranandKaylynsmommy Posts: 321 Member
    He legitimately thought he was super man
  • iamgroot909
    iamgroot909 Posts: 293 Member
    She ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    iamgroot909 wrote: »
    She ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon

    I sent you a message.. :)

    He told me all I could have was a toothpick and a glass of water
  • Egger29
    Egger29 Posts: 14,741 Member
    She started quoting Crocodile Dundee 2.
  • ChalkSlinger
    ChalkSlinger Posts: 370 Member
    He argued that Harry Potter is legitimate literature with me, an English professor
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    It came time to pay the bill and he didn't have any money.
  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
    She ordered the biggest steak on the menu, added a lobster tail, and drank glass after glass of blue label... I wasn't going to pay for all that
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  • marieisme2015
    marieisme2015 Posts: 1,497 Member
    He walked in the restaurant with dirty feet and dipped a napkin in my water to try and clean them
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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He gave me ^^^ that look and made me cry :'(
  • YosemiteSlamAK
    YosemiteSlamAK Posts: 1,230 Member
    She asked me if her handkerchief smelled like chloroform
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    I woke up naked on the side of the road..
  • JesseDP00
    JesseDP00 Posts: 367 Member
    It was time to go back to work...
  • YosemiteSlamAK
    YosemiteSlamAK Posts: 1,230 Member
    I woke up wearing her clothes and a clown nose
  • Egger29
    Egger29 Posts: 14,741 Member
    He listed off all the places he's stuck the clown nose.
  • YosemiteSlamAK
    YosemiteSlamAK Posts: 1,230 Member
    I asked if I could be in his band and he handed me a cowbell
  • lunidevojka
    lunidevojka Posts: 9,048 Member
    he mocked my being raised by wolves.
  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
    She is not a good cook and made me cheerios and salami for dinner. In hindsight, I should have drank beforehand... that *kitten* might have been cute then
  • Renegade770
    Renegade770 Posts: 1,058 Member
    She drugged me and dragged me to her basement :wink:
  • Beka3695
    Beka3695 Posts: 4,126 Member
    The drugs wore off and I found out he had a micro penis.
  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
    Our date was amazing until she educated me on penis sizing standardization practices. I figured a healthy one is a good one but after that talk, I felt inadequate myself
  • lunidevojka
    lunidevojka Posts: 9,048 Member
    She didn't like my offer of coming back to my house in the woods.
  • Dyl1789
    Dyl1789 Posts: 2,933 Member
    wanted to steal my soul, but I wouldn't let her this time
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    I found out he was soulless
  • JimmyC1992
    JimmyC1992 Posts: 1,871 Member
    We parked by the lake, and one thing led to another until she said:
    Stop right there!
    I gotta know right now!
    Before we go any further!
    Do you love me?
    Will you love me forever?
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He sang meat loaf songs all night.. I just wanted to canoodle and he wanted to sing :(
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    she wanted to canoodle
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    pogiguy05 wrote: »
    she wanted to canoodle

    He said .. "don't touch me woman" :( broke my heart
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    pogiguy05 wrote: »
    she wanted to canoodle

    He said .. "don't touch me woman" :( broke my heart

    Well get a mani and pedi woman jesus :D
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