Less Alcohol - March 2018- One day at a Time
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@JulieAL1969, what memories I have of Sunday evenings with the dreaded bag of papers to grade. Thanks for sharing the videos. Craig Ferguson is very poignant about his alcoholism. I saw him live in Austin and was disappointed by what I considered misogynistic “humor,” but I appreciate his honesty about his struggles. Both videos emphasize the importance of community, and I think that is what you have created here.3
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My goal is more af days (& nights). I've realized that I if I want some wine then I need to have a goal as in a limit-no a prescription. I poured 2 glasses with dinner last night and didn't finish the second. Didn't want it. So, I think 3 glasses of wine max a week should do me just fine. I've had 3 in the last 3 weeks. I figure that since I averaged 2 a night before this thread that that's 39 glasses less! I can't express how wonderful that makes me feel both physically and emotionally. Happy Monday. Do something nice for yourself.13
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62 days!!! I think it was Christmas for my last drink....I remember that I didn't drink on New Year's Eve! Wow! Not feeling like changing anything now....thinking of staying alcohol free(AF) and just so you know, I have a box and a bottle of wine unopened in frig and over 100 bottles of wine in our basement, as we make our own wine. My husband drinks it still though, and is still making it. LOL!! Maybe some day I will drink? But......I really don't think so.....I feel so so good without it...
I love that quote!
"Alcohol gave me wings to fly...and took away my sky"!!
I have the sky, the beauty, the life that I have always wanted, and my body just is too addicted to alcohol which one drink will set me back to the flow of more...and take away what a beautiful life I have now.
Thank you God for saving me and giving me this thread, the books, and all the support and insights to conquer this addiction!!!
Hoping that you all can find some peace and the life you so deserve. May you find hope and blessings in your lives.
Just had to share some deep hearted thoughts.
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Last night I stayed under my goal! Barely, but I'm impressed. This thread keeps me thinking and soul searching. I struggle a lot but I'm preserving. 7
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Finished the weekend with 2 glasses each Friday, Saturday and Sunday. That may not sound like moderation, especially to those who are going full blown AF or just reserving drinking to truly special occasions, but it's a reduction for me and aligned with my goal of trying to mindfully moderate - each night I could have easily drank more but stopped myself at the 2 glass limit I set for myself and didn't struggle with the decision. Quiet week this week, and the second glass last night finished an open bottle so there won't even be much temptation.
A couple of other small wins that I noted for myself:
Yesterday was a monthly brunch that I have with a small group of friends, and I have on a few occasions been really hung over and miserable during the event, yesterday was the first person there, bright eyed and dressed for a long hike after brunch. Another friend commented how tired she always feels and isn't sleeping well, and I told her that since I started cutting back on the nightly glass or two (or three) of wine I've been getting much better rest. She was super supportive (not that I expected otherwise, just nice to say it out loud to some friends other than just here).
At the grocery store yesterday I realized I haven't bought wine or beer since mid-January when finding this group. That's obviously saved me quite a bit of money, as I tended to every couple of weeks to stock up on the 6 bottle specials at the grocery store, didn't go for expensive bottles but probably most in the $10-$15/range so that's a savings of maybe $150/month or so. Nor did I have to tell the clerk, "no, I'm not having a party, just stocking up" if they asked...
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After a fairly dry start to Feb. My evening beers started to creep back in the last few weeks. March 1st I was invited up to a friends house after dinner for drinks. I went, and had two more than I planned (4 total) I decided before I went I was going to go ahead and enjoy these times, just try not to put beer on my shopping list to have around the house for my after work happy hour...alone (2-4 beers) So far that has been a success. Haven't had a good excuse to drink since. 4 days without has been good! It is Monday...wish me luck! I have a feeling I will be spending some time reading this thread tonight, Thanks!5
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An observation I thought I'd share. I was in the liquor store yesterday looking for this great bread they sell on weekends...they were out of it, but anyway there was a customer buying a couple bottles of liquor and she apparently didn't have her coupon, and the clerk very apologetically said, "I'm so sorry Ma'am I can't give you the discount without the coupon." Well you would have thought he tried to steal her purse. She threw a FIT. She was shrieking, " I come in here everyday!!! How dare you not give me a discount!" and stormed off leaving her booze behind. The two clerks just looked at each other and one shook her head and said, "Man, alcohol really makes people mean." The things I were thinking were, 1. she comes in every day to buy THAT much booze? 2. I am so glad I am not her. 3. It has made me mean too, but in private, thank God. and 4. This reinforces my desire for sobriety. We live in a small town and I would be so embarrassed to show my face after that. You just can't unring a bell. That was not pretty.12
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Made it through the weekend with three, 6 oz. glasses of wine. Most moderate weekend so far. I'm all of a sudden hearing so many horror stories about alcohol ruining relationships and lives that I'm starting to recoil at the idea of it, frankly.8
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Everyone has been doing so well no matter what your goal, it is always so lifting to read your posts.
I had the true test of strength the past 4 days as my hubbies Mother arrived in our town before the weekend. I had distanced myself from this woman 2 months into meeting her for merely one reason...she drinks like a fish and then proceeds to make up stories and lie and be an embarrassment in public.
Keeping my cool and not giving in to go with my husband to be a part of that circus created a lot of tension between he and I in the past. It would be so uncomfortable because I never knew when she was going to flip. She would show up at a restaurant in a taxi or with a friend driving because she was already 3 sheets to the wind. Order more drinks as soon as she sat down, usually just vodka on rocks in pint glasses. Ohhhh... and then the crying would start.
One time I was having a nice coffee when she showed up out to eat. Immediately she asked what I had there and if I were to good to have a drink with everyone at the table? (this is an adult woman in her 70's talking like this). I thought for a very brief second and said "yeah I guess I am better than that."
To this day I do not attend any holidays or celebrations of any kind with that side of my hubbies family. It is not worth the belittlement just because I will not conform to letting alcohol be the main reason for their get togethers.
Keep on a good path by the minute, hour and day this week.
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@JulieAL1969 - I loved the 50 reasons video! And agree that #50 is my fave. Thanks so much for sharing.2
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Day 22... 21 days AF! I have 1/2 bottle of Merlot, opened 2 weeks ago, when does this stuff go bad? I have never had an open bottle left, for more than a day before!
Feeling great... still get occasional cravings, but knowing now how to tell myself "NO", and making it stick.
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Ugh. I swore I was going to do it like this. Yesterday I was AF. Day before I was AF.
Today and yesterday I slugged out some exercise calories. More that 1000. So today I get my alcohol treat.
Saturday I hung out with my Little Buddy. Ain't no drinking when Little Buddy is in the neighborhood.
That little guy. We make each other happy.
Never mind that.
Today's exercise, not epic but pretty good. Climbed 1500. My metric is 2000. Didn't pull that off.
But I had a beer and a doubleshot, so no little buddy today.
But hey, here is what heart rate looks like when the geezer is working out. I know you young rascals can do better than this. But this is my new standard for earning a beer. (and a shot)
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looneycatblue wrote: »Day 22... 21 days AF! I have 1/2 bottle of Merlot, opened 2 weeks ago, when does this stuff go bad? I have never had an open bottle left, for more than a day before!
@looneycatblue - I know exactly what you mean. I have open bottles sitting around now. This will fix your problem for less than $10: The Original Vacu Vin Wine Saver with 1 Vacuum Stopper – White
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An observation I thought I'd share. I was in the liquor store yesterday looking for this great bread they sell on weekends...they were out of it, but anyway there was a customer buying a couple bottles of liquor and she apparently didn't have her coupon, and the clerk very apologetically said, "I'm so sorry Ma'am I can't give you the discount without the coupon." Well you would have thought he tried to steal her purse. She threw a FIT. She was shrieking, " I come in here everyday!!! How dare you not give me a discount!" and stormed off leaving her booze behind. The two clerks just looked at each other and one shook her head and said, "Man, alcohol really makes people mean." The things I were thinking were, 1. she comes in every day to buy THAT much booze? 2. I am so glad I am not her. 3. It has made me mean too, but in private, thank God. and 4. This reinforces my desire for sobriety. We live in a small town and I would be so embarrassed to show my face after that. You just can't unring a bell. That was not pretty.
I get to see this kind of sad stuff all the time with my job. Every week I see people standing at the door of a liquor store waiting for them to open their doors to buy their first drink. Or if i am working in a store for a long time I sometimes see the same customer come back for repeat visits.4 -
I'm in. What a great discussion. I want reduce or eliminate work week drinks for better sleep and energy!8
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I had a really great weekend. It was actually very nice to do some of the things that would normally involve alcohol without it. For example, we went to a minor league hockey game on Saturday night. It was a group event for my running group. Normally I would drink the awful cheap wine just to have a drink (I can't drink beer), but instead I drank water. The game was really fun. They had wiener dog races between periods and that was hysterical. We also had fun laughing at a group of really drunk guys. They may or may not have been trying to be funny. On Sunday I was running with some members of our group that hadn't gone to the game. One of them asked about it and I was glad I was able to recall the night with great clarity. I was a little taken aback by this because I don't think I ever realized how many times I went out and had a fuzzy recollection of the prior evening's events.6
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Well I went off for 10 days while DH is home. I knew it. Thrown right off again. Had great time and alsostopoed the gym. Ugh bad influence.4
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Still enjoying not drinking any alcohol. Truly amazing to me. I started out trying to moderate but wow that is a lot of mental effort and I am finding the more I read about alcohol and its depressant, anesthetic, and carcinogenic effects, I really just can't imagine starting to drink again. I don't like to talk about it much because I certainly don't want to come across to people I know as "holier than thou"...but to myself I think, "how could I have been so stupid!?".
I saw that some of you have read This Naked Mind, that is one book that I definitely recommend. It's not great literature but sure provides a lot of information about what alcohol does to our brain in a very strong argument against alcohol. You can also sign up for the 30 day Alcohol Experiment run by the author Annie Grace. It is free. You get some articles and different videos each day. I got so much out of it and looked forward to those videos every day.
Today's aha moment was related to drinking and exercise. I ride my bicycle quite a bit and after a long hard ride it would be so natural to treat myself with alcohol. We have a ton of breweries around where I live and many of them sponsor bike rides and teams. Little did I realize how terrible the alcohol is for my physical recovery after riding! And your brain sends out those signal to drink up when it is most likely to get the most "bang for the buck" in terms of the dopamine hit.... when would that be? Yup after exercise or when you are really hungry, which is why many of us crave that drink before dinner. So the brew pubs get the bike riders because they know they are great customers after a bike ride. Ugh, it kinda makes me sick to think about it and how long I fell for that idea that a few beers or wines after cycling was a good idea.
Ok, sorry for the kinda long post but it was just one of those things that hit me like a ton of bricks today. We are so manipulated by the alcohol industry to drink at every turn. Even NPR is advertising a wine club with bottles of wine with labels based on favorite programs. Pretty sure I would have fallen for that one too!
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Hey Norm! Guess what I just bought for walking in3
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Oops. It didn’t like my Italy emoji. Anyway I said I just bought BLACK SNEAKERS for my trip so I think I’m the coolest person ever and my granddaughters will back me up on that.3
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I think I need black sneakers now. I heard they pair well with my sparkling water! ;-)
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Haha love this group. Well, a pretty wet weekend but now I’m dry for the next 7 days. I’m trying to challenge myself to do a few different things (beyond not drinking- working out an hour a day, drinking more water, and no iPhone use until my kids are in bed) - I watched that video Julie posted today and the girl mentioned healthy motivation and I agree. I feel like when I drink - even totally moderately my health and fitness goals go by the wayside.3
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I couldn’t find the new thread! I forgot that it would be in challenges. I’m in for March. I mostly lurk, but it still helps me. I’m 144 days sober. It seems unreal to see that number! This month (and the end of February) has been a little bit harder than some of the previous months. I’ve been in a lot of physical pain and it hadn’t occurred to me that I used to use alcohol for physical as well as emotional pain. So, the urge to drink is a lot stronger than normal. I’m getting by and I know I can cope without giving in. I guess I just keep getting surprised by the things in life that pop up and prompt me to want to drink because that’s the way I always dealt with it before. Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys around again throughout March.13
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Good to see you @crazykatlady820. Thanks for the insight for us relative beginners. Sending you wishes for strength. Welcome back.4
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I'm in for March!4
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You are all cheering me up. I lapsed yesterday and need to be a lot stronger when husband is tempting me with wine, he poured a glass and I started drinking it without thinking. Half a bottle later he tried to open another one claiming that some had gone into the meal when he was cooking. I said no.... not proud of myself for drinking in the first place but at least I refused more... Wednesday will be the next test and I will try to be stronger....
Anyone got any advice to curb well-meaning partners undermining ones efforts, short of murder?!6 -
btw, one positive in a funny way is that our recycling takes place once every two weeks, I noted that there is more newspaper than wine bottles in my recycling bin so that has to be good! Still thinking up a strategy for tomorrow night when OH is in... at least when I refused the extra bottle last night he stopped drinking too. This is not always the case. Love this thread as can have a rant and everyone understands!
Positives: I am now getting 8 hours sleep a night, even on the nights when I do have some wine.
My skin is definitely clearer
My head is clearer in mornings - just as well with all the icy driving conditions last week
I am not drinking when out with girlfriends for dinner - and they are all very supportive.
I drink more water!
I am saving money11 -
PhotogirlTX wrote: »I think I need black sneakers now. I heard they pair well with my sparkling water! ;-)
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crazykatlady820 wrote: »I couldn’t find the new thread! I forgot that it would be in challenges. I’m in for March. I mostly lurk, but it still helps me. I’m 144 days sober. It seems unreal to see that number! This month (and the end of February) has been a little bit harder than some of the previous months. I’ve been in a lot of physical pain and it hadn’t occurred to me that I used to use alcohol for physical as well as emotional pain. So, the urge to drink is a lot stronger than normal. I’m getting by and I know I can cope without giving in. I guess I just keep getting surprised by the things in life that pop up and prompt me to want to drink because that’s the way I always dealt with it before. Anyway, I look forward to seeing you guys around again throughout March.
I know what you mean about drinking to numb pain - I am trying to find other ways of managing it... for example, a hot water bottle at night to help with hip pain. I am trying to cut down a bit on painkillers too and working out what is the min. I can get away with... good luck and there is nothing wrong with lurking. 144 days sober is an amazing achievement xx5
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