JUST FOR TODAY ....... One day at a time ..... Daily Commitment Thread for 2018
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Long long day today. Plans for some cooking and an early night shelved as had to go and help a friend who lives on the other side of London sort their car as battery had gone flat. Just home now and super tired. But a good day for diet and nutrition. See how I manage tomorrow...
22/3: Goals
- exercise before kids get up ✅
- 2ltr+ water ✅
- 15k+ steps ✅
- Stay within calorie goal ✅
- Leave on time to go to health food shop ✅ and get eyebrows threaded after work no time. Did my best to tidy up with tweezers
- Batch cook veggies after girls in bed
- Aim for earlyish night
Goals for 23/3:
- exercise early if feel up to it. If not, guilt-free rest day
- 2ltr + water
- Stay within calorie goal
- 12k+ steps
- Prep for 2:30pm meeting
- Sort out next term’s clubs issue
- Leave on time to pick up daughter from play date
- Batch cook veggies in the evenjng
- Pack girls for weekend sleepovers
- Early night!!3 -
JFT, Thurs
1. go to the gym!!!! Way too tired this morning
2. drink water
3. log all food
4. work a little on quilt -- I still need to add another border on the king size quilt
5. one more trip to disability office -- so far I have taken in 3 letters from doctors, and 2 from therapists, so hoping this will help. We are preparing to move our daughter back home with us in mid april if we do not have any news.
6. try and plan what kind of meals to prepare when son is in town
7. get back on here
As you can see -- only 1 smilely face. But .... tomorrow will be a new day
JFT, Friday
1. log all food
2. concentrate on water - get out those red cups again. Operation Redcup!!!!
3. eat slowly and enjoy each bite
4. analysize food before I shove it in my mouth
5. clean house
6. plan meals for sons visit next week
7. get back on here - be accountable
8. go to the gym!! This has to happen - I have not been to the gym in almost a week5 -
HGSmith0920 wrote: »
JFT, 3/22/18
1. Log all food Went over M&M's and she did the lil of this and lil of that again. All I know was that it was chicken, rice, and tomato sauce. Lol
2. At LEAST 64oz water I'm not sure the exact amount but I had two 24 bottles at work and an 18oz glass at M&M's earlier. I'm also drinking 32oz now and will probably drink another before I go to bed. So probably twice that! Lol
3. Up by 6 Dumb cat(actually wasn't REALLY his fault this time.) Lol
4. Coffee/Breakfast Actually remembered to eat breakfast today! I thought I was going in really early so I figured I would need to eat something to make it through the morning. Turns out I didnt go in until 10. Lol
5. Bible/Quiet time / I love my meditation/prayer time. I'm glad I got that in this morning.
6. Yoga! I totally could but by the time I found out I was going in late I was already showered, dressed and make-uped for the day
7. Remember lunch!!!! I ate waaaay too fast today though. I was n a group message with some dear friends.
Then a bunch of my back office coworkers came into the break room and wanted to get to know me. It was lovely.
But I was really distracted. Lol
8. Leave by 7:15 Delayed opening. Left at 9:35
9. Work 745-4(ish) 10-415
10. M&M's(Dinner/Needles) Just dinner and conversation but that was more than enough!
11. Leftovers ready for DH dinner He should be leaving any minute. I'm gonna heat up the food M gave me from tonight. I think he will appreciate it.
12. Shower I should do this now. Lol. Maybe when I'm done with this. Lol
13. Bed by 12 Most likely. If not earlier. We like to catch up on each others days now that we're both working again so maybe a bit later. He still has a half an hour drive ahead of him.
TODAY WAS AWESOME!!!!
It was pretty slow because about a foot of snow was dumped on us overnight. About 2/3 of it is melted now because it was almost 50F out this afternoon. Lol. But I got to do a whole bunch of different transactions and learned a few more things about the teller system they used. I had a really good break with my fellow bankers which was really awesome. I still dont have the courage to bring my phone out onto the floor so I pretty much ignore it in my bag for most of the day. I dont think about it often because the other tellers and I spend a huge amount of time chatting. Lol. I got out at about 4:15 and went right over to M&M's where I had a really relaxing evening. Wonderful food, even better people and a lovable cat with a broken tail. Lol. It was just a really, REALLY great day. I see many more of these in my future. Lol.
Tomorrow is going to be simple I think.
JFT, 3/23/18
1. Log all food
2. 92oz of water
3. Up @ 7
4. Go take out $
5. Coffee/Breakfast
6. Quiet time
7. YOGA DADGUMMIT!
8. Food in crock before I leave
9. Work 945-515(probably)
10. Dinner/Dishes
11. Pens Game/DH time
12. Bed whenever(12 probably) Lol
Have a great night everyone!
4 -
JFT Wednesday
1. Water
2. Meditation
3. Chiropractor
4. Groceries
5. Lunch with Beth
6. Studio time and abundant minimalism podcast
7. Brush and floss
8. Bed by 10:30
1. Water
2. Meditation
3. Studio - finish the larger border!
4. Pool
5. Dinner at Subway
6. Brush and floss
7. Bed by 10:303 -
JFT, Thurs
1. go to the gym!!!! Way too tired this morning
2. drink water
3. log all food
4. work a little on quilt -- I still need to add another border on the king size quilt
5. one more trip to disability office -- so far I have taken in 3 letters from doctors, and 2 from therapists, so hoping this will help. We are preparing to move our daughter back home with us in mid april if we do not have any news.
6. try and plan what kind of meals to prepare when son is in town
7. get back on here
As you can see -- only 1 smilely face. But .... tomorrow will be a new day
JFT, Friday
1. log all food
2. concentrate on water - get out those red cups again. Operation Redcup!!!!
3. eat slowly and enjoy each bite
4. analysize food before I shove it in my mouth
5. clean house
6. plan meals for sons visit next week
7. get back on here - be accountable
8. go to the gym!! This has to happen - I have not been to the gym in almost a week
well, goodness, give yourself a wee bit of time to get settled, lol!!!3 -
Weigh-in this morning, lost 0.75 lb - it's still going downwards!
Now only have 4.5 lb to lose before I am not overweight anymore
Yesterday'ss:
- Log everything I eat
- Drink 3 large water bottles well, I did if you count the tons of water I drank at the gym, but given that was to replace all the water I sweated out I don't think it counts!
- Stick to food plan
- Go to gym at lunch OR later on if electrician hasn't been by then
- Have a 1h lunch break, regardless
- Plan to-do list Will do that today
- Stop work by 7pm hahahahahaha no.... 8.45. Was my own fault though for procrastinating until 11am
Today's commitments:
- Log everything I eat
- Drink 3 large water bottles
- Stick to food plan
- Leave work by 6pm
- Plan to-do list5 -
Checking in from Thursday
1. Log accurately. ❌ Dinner: Everything salad. ✔ Pack & prelog lunch. ✔ Morning meds. ✔
2. Assessments entered. ✔ All listening grades. ✔ All presentations. ✔ Essays marked as collected or missing. ✔ Review lesson plans. ✔ Revise if needed; reprint and post. ✔
3. NO meditation or strength training today. ✔ Focus on preparing for evaluation. ✔
4. Continue reviewing terms with freshmen. ✔ More Kahoot! time. ✔
5. Clothes to car for donation. Chop celery for tomorrow. ❌ Pack bag - REMEMBER TIGHTS AND MAKEUP! ✔ Leave for garden by 4:30. ✔ Steps to 10k if possible. ✔ Update JFT upon return from garden. ❌ Teeth flossed, rinsed, brushed; in bed by half an hour after return from garden. ❌ I looked up and an hour had gone by. WHAT? And then I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep for an hour. I am SO TIRED.
JFT Friday
1. Add examples to test and print RIGHT AWAY.
2. Log accurately. (Dinner - Plated 1 or Everything Salad) Pack & prelog lunch. Meds, teeth, tea.
3. Write Week 13 plans! WHERE DID MY WEEK GO? Write Week 5 reflection essay. Check with J&L about poetry scaffold; send to B? UPDATE CLASS WEBSITES. Print grammar practice. Daily Duolingo.
4. Meditation? 1 set body exercises (10 lifted push-ups ALL THE WAY DOWN, 10 lunges each leg, 70 sec plank, 40 sec forward fold, 20 sec triangle each side, 40 sec down dog, 30 sec crane/tree/warrior 3 each leg, 15 side leg lifts) aim for 2. I NEED TO DO MY STRENGTH TRAINING. Steps at school to 5k; aim for 6.
5. Continue inputting grades. Set up progress reports for Monday.
6. Input Plated meals. Library for Akata Warrior? (Open until 8.) Clothes to donation center? Leave for kickboxing by 5:45. Drumming at cafe? Find the 9Round free week form. Update JFT. Teeth flossed, rinsed, brushed; in bed by 9:45.
Scale goals
November: 183.6
December: 176.6
January: 174.6
February: 173.6
March 1: 172.4.
March 31 goal: 170.4
March 19 goal: 173.5 FAAAAIL. *sigh*
March 28 goal: 175.5
March 23: 177. I want to go back to bed so bad.4 -
I actually slept really well last night! I dont remember what woke me up this morning. I just remember waking up for a spell and then cuddling with the DH and falling back to sleep before the alarm went off. It couldn't have been too early because I think it was partially light out. Lol.
I got up way earlier then I needed to this morning because I had to run to the store to pick up milk and use the ATM. It's a usual Friday morning run that I do before anything else. I pick up coffee when I'm there. It was actually really REALLY busy this morning. Usually, it's not THAT busy at 7 in the morning. Lol. But I got what I needed and got out of there. I was able to park in front of my house too! The parts of the driveway that aren't clear are mainly ice right now but it's not too bad at all. It was nice not to have to walk the 1/4 mile from the church parking lot(where we park during storms) to my front door. Lol. Well, I have two hours before I have to go to work. I want to get at least a short yoga video in. I need to do something exercise wise. I haven't at all this week I think. Other than shoveling snow yesterday I think. Lol3 -
Recap Th 3/22 ~ mammo 8:10 a.m. no time for treadmill before
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 18,328 steps, 250+ steps 13/14 & 40 floors (helped that I was cleaning & decluttering in evening)
2) Not sure of meals (no plans again) / net calories green / monitor usual = More stuff out of freezer. Net calories -72, sugar -25 (mostly fruit, yogurt & power muffin), sodium -397, protein & fiber good, 14c water. Good enough!
3) No choir / director away visiting grandkids / walk dog after work = 3.4 miles 1:02 + picked up recyclable cans along route (put them in our bin at home) / happy dog & happy me / although less time to do other things in evening
4) Evening at least 2 - 3 to-dos = checked 4 things off list!
5) Unplug 9:00 except for closing MFP diary / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:15
JFT F 3/23
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work
2) Snacks & meal plans in my head / prelog as much as possible / net calories green / monitor usual
3) Complete PA-OSGC project & submit for review
4) Walk dog after work
5) Evening > 3 to-dos
6) Unplug 10:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 11:003 -
JFY (Thursday)
1. Drink 8 glasses of water
2. Log all the food I eat
3. Stay in the green with my food intake
4. Finish a couple orders from my shop
5. Go to the gym
JFT (Friday)
1. Drink 8 glasses of water
2. Log all the food I eat
3. Stay in the green with my food intake
4. Finish one large order from my shop
5. Go to the gym
6. Laundry3 -
cschmitz110515 wrote: »Recap Th 3/22 ~ mammo 8:10 a.m. no time for treadmill before
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 18,328 steps, 250+ steps 13/14 & 40 floors (helped that I was cleaning & decluttering in evening)
2) Not sure of meals (no plans again) / net calories green / monitor usual = More stuff out of freezer. Net calories -72, sugar -25 (mostly fruit, yogurt & power muffin), sodium -397, protein & fiber good, 14c water. Good enough!
3) No choir / director away visiting grandkids / walk dog after work = 3.4 miles 1:02 + picked up recyclable cans along route (put them in our bin at home) / happy dog & happy me / although less time to do other things in evening
4) Evening at least 2 - 3 to-dos = checked 4 things off list!
5) Unplug 9:00 except for closing MFP diary / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:15
JFT F 3/23
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work
2) Snacks & meal plans in my head / prelog as much as possible / net calories green / monitor usual
3) Complete PA-OSGC project & submit for review
4) Walk dog after work
5) Evening > 3 to-dos
6) Unplug 10:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 11:00
Can you tell me what "Net Calories" are?0 -
JFT - Thursday March 22
2L of Water - I think only 1.5L I forgot to drink one in evening while babysitting
Finish cleaning uniform room - DONE, now I need to find another project at work
Stay in the Green - Even when hubby wanted take out burgers, I went home and made myself something.
Go to the gym for at least 30 minutes - I did 18 minutes on the treadmill, was going to be late to babysit
Write in Gratitude Journal -
Update MFP Profile pic, this one is very old and not an accurate picture of what I look like now. This was when I had lost weight previously - Yes, I put a picture of myself that I really don't like because it shows exactly how big I have gotten. I figure looking at it regularly will be motivation.
JFT - Friday March 23
2L of Water
Find a way to get 30 minutes of activity in
Stay in the Green
Write in Gratitude Journal
Get nails done after work
5 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »cschmitz110515 wrote: »Recap Th 3/22 ~ mammo 8:10 a.m. no time for treadmill before
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 18,328 steps, 250+ steps 13/14 & 40 floors (helped that I was cleaning & decluttering in evening)
2) Not sure of meals (no plans again) / net calories green / monitor usual = More stuff out of freezer. Net calories -72, sugar -25 (mostly fruit, yogurt & power muffin), sodium -397, protein & fiber good, 14c water. Good enough!
3) No choir / director away visiting grandkids / walk dog after work = 3.4 miles 1:02 + picked up recyclable cans along route (put them in our bin at home) / happy dog & happy me / although less time to do other things in evening
4) Evening at least 2 - 3 to-dos = checked 4 things off list!
5) Unplug 9:00 except for closing MFP diary / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:15
JFT F 3/23
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work
2) Snacks & meal plans in my head / prelog as much as possible / net calories green / monitor usual
3) Complete PA-OSGC project & submit for review
4) Walk dog after work
5) Evening > 3 to-dos
6) Unplug 10:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 11:00
Can you tell me what "Net Calories" are?
Net Calories = number of calories eaten minus number of calories burned in exercise and baseline metabolism. If net cals are "green" after I close my food diary for the day, I have burned more than I ate, which leads to losing weight over time.
For newbies on MFP, there's a very handy list of acronyms and terms used on MFP at http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p12 -
cschmitz110515 wrote: »Snowflake1968 wrote: »cschmitz110515 wrote: »Recap Th 3/22 ~ mammo 8:10 a.m. no time for treadmill before
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work = Fitbit 18,328 steps, 250+ steps 13/14 & 40 floors (helped that I was cleaning & decluttering in evening)
2) Not sure of meals (no plans again) / net calories green / monitor usual = More stuff out of freezer. Net calories -72, sugar -25 (mostly fruit, yogurt & power muffin), sodium -397, protein & fiber good, 14c water. Good enough!
3) No choir / director away visiting grandkids / walk dog after work = 3.4 miles 1:02 + picked up recyclable cans along route (put them in our bin at home) / happy dog & happy me / although less time to do other things in evening
4) Evening at least 2 - 3 to-dos = checked 4 things off list!
5) Unplug 9:00 except for closing MFP diary / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 10:15
JFT F 3/23
1) Move hourly / stairs breaks at work
2) Snacks & meal plans in my head / prelog as much as possible / net calories green / monitor usual
3) Complete PA-OSGC project & submit for review
4) Walk dog after work
5) Evening > 3 to-dos
6) Unplug 10:00 / floss / retainers / bed & TV off 11:00
Can you tell me what "Net Calories" are?
Net Calories = number of calories eaten minus number of calories burned in exercise and baseline metabolism. If net cals are "green" after I close my food diary for the day, I have burned more than I ate, which leads to losing weight over time.
For newbies on MFP, there's a very handy list of acronyms and terms used on MFP at http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1069278/acronyms-and-terms-for-new-mfp-members-v-6/p1
Thanks, I guess I was doing it and didn't realize there was a name for it!0 -
Hey everyone.
So I’ve not really posted on here the last week. Well I have but only to reply to your posts.
I’ve not updated on my situation here, mainly because it’s been really poop and rather than drip feed my ever ongoing problems just thought I’d see what was going on myself before I shared.
So, I’m finding it pretty hard if I’m honest. It’s getting easier that’s for sure but it’s still just so hard.
Breastfeeding has stopped. I’ve got one (or more) of various problems that can be associated with BFing (Vasospasm, blocked duct or mastisis) so basically I’m in quite a lot of pain. I can’t express enough to make it “worth it” my whole days with of expressing does one bottle so it’s just not worth it. So I was pretty sad by that, I tried my best but I just feel like my body is useless. It just never seems capable of anything. But 3 weeks isn’t bad I guess!
And with her now having formula she’s nearly back at birth weight and her jaundice has nearly gone and I have more time on my hands. But feel like everyone else thinks it was just a waste of time and pointless in me even trying.
So that’s that.
The other thing is, obviously I posted my birth announcement on here but not really gone into any detail of the labour. (Not that I was gonna go graphic lol)
But I’m struggling with that too and I never have before. I keep getting horrid vivid memories of the worst parts and I feel like what did happen shouldn’t of happened.
I guess I feel quite violated (they had to stop a haemorrage by putting her hand “up there”) and they kept saying if they didn’t do that then I’d have to go theatre and I’m thinking what if I should have been in theatre. I had no pain relief as I couldn’t take any more gas and air because I felt so sick and I had baby on my chest whilst they did all this because they knew I wouldn’t freak out. But I feel like they did that on purpose.
Every time I think of it I start crying anyway
I think I’m gonna have to go to the Dr on Monday.
I just hope I’ve not been mentally affected again (like PTSD or something) because that’s just another thing again isn’t it.
My mind and body just don’t seem to work. I’m always poorly with something. I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t complain of something that was wrong with me.
And every day I just keep telling my mind to “just get through today” and I feel like I’m only just stopping myself from losing my mind and getting ill again but there’s only so many times i can trick my mind into that everything’s okay. Everyone has a breaking point. I just don’t want to reach mine.
And now it’s affecting me and my partner. We always argue now or are “off” with eachother. Ive slept in the bed twice since being home and being intimate is just no. I can’t bear the thought and it’s not him, I’m still attracted to him but I just can’t bear the thought of someone touching me. *sigh* I dunno
Bit of a pointless post but problem shared is a problem halved and all that.
Don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. Well not fully anyway.
Hope everyone else is okay though x6 -
@Bex953172 - massive sympathy from me. Your post strikes such a chord.
I had a terrible delivery with my first and I think the more time that’s passed the more I realise how traumatised I was physically and mentally. I know in the NHS it’s like if the baby was delivered safely you’re just left to get on with it. I had a brutal forceps birth and was in agony for ages after. Body wrecked, mind a mess from lack of sleep and feeling like I was missing out because it was so damn hard and not this amazing experience I was expecting.
All this is just to say that it is ok to not be ok. It doesn’t matter if it is baby number 1 or 10, it can take a really long time to recover. Don’t question what is a perfectly rational response to a difficult experience. Of course you feel down and disappointed and sad and stressed and everything in between! That is not a failure of your mind or body. It is a normal reaction to an extreme set of circumstances.
Get help if you need it, and take time to work through it. Don’t beat yourself up about it, I’m sure your partner will also understand if you feel you can talk to him.
You are doing the right thing taking one day at a time. Let go of any guilt and give yourself a break. Wishing you some peace and rest and good health. X4 -
Hey everyone.
So I’ve not really posted on here the last week. Well I have but only to reply to your posts.
I’ve not updated on my situation here, mainly because it’s been really poop and rather than drip feed my ever ongoing problems just thought I’d see what was going on myself before I shared.
So, I’m finding it pretty hard if I’m honest. It’s getting easier that’s for sure but it’s still just so hard.
Breastfeeding has stopped. I’ve got one (or more) of various problems that can be associated with BFing (Vasospasm, blocked duct or mastisis) so basically I’m in quite a lot of pain. I can’t express enough to make it “worth it” my whole days with of expressing does one bottle so it’s just not worth it. So I was pretty sad by that, I tried my best but I just feel like my body is useless. It just never seems capable of anything. But 3 weeks isn’t bad I guess!
And with her now having formula she’s nearly back at birth weight and her jaundice has nearly gone and I have more time on my hands. But feel like everyone else thinks it was just a waste of time and pointless in me even trying.
So that’s that.
The other thing is, obviously I posted my birth announcement on here but not really gone into any detail of the labour. (Not that I was gonna go graphic lol)
But I’m struggling with that too and I never have before. I keep getting horrid vivid memories of the worst parts and I feel like what did happen shouldn’t of happened.
I guess I feel quite violated (they had to stop a haemorrage by putting her hand “up there”) and they kept saying if they didn’t do that then I’d have to go theatre and I’m thinking what if I should have been in theatre. I had no pain relief as I couldn’t take any more gas and air because I felt so sick and I had baby on my chest whilst they did all this because they knew I wouldn’t freak out. But I feel like they did that on purpose.
Every time I think of it I start crying anyway
I think I’m gonna have to go to the Dr on Monday.
I just hope I’ve not been mentally affected again (like PTSD or something) because that’s just another thing again isn’t it.
My mind and body just don’t seem to work. I’m always poorly with something. I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t complain of something that was wrong with me.
And every day I just keep telling my mind to “just get through today” and I feel like I’m only just stopping myself from losing my mind and getting ill again but there’s only so many times i can trick my mind into that everything’s okay. Everyone has a breaking point. I just don’t want to reach mine.
And now it’s affecting me and my partner. We always argue now or are “off” with eachother. Ive slept in the bed twice since being home and being intimate is just no. I can’t bear the thought and it’s not him, I’m still attracted to him but I just can’t bear the thought of someone touching me. *sigh* I dunno
Bit of a pointless post but problem shared is a problem halved and all that.
Don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. Well not fully anyway.
Hope everyone else is okay though x
I just want to hug you, wrap you up in a bed and let you get rest while I take care of your girls. I suffered from PPD 27 years ago, I didn't know what it was until she was around 5 so it was never treated but the symptoms were glaringly obvious looking back at it now. I recognized it immediately when my oldest daughter had it after my grandson was born. I fought her tooth and nail until she got help. Please do that for yourself if you think you need it, there is no shame in it. Also, 3 weeks he should be keeping his hands to himself anyway unless it's to hug you and tell you everything will be ok. My heart hurts for you, please take care of yourself.4 -
Oh, @Bex953172 I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I have absolutely no experience with giving birth or even very much experience with children. I have no words to say that I can imagine helping. I would love to wrap you in my arms and hold you. I feel like you are my little sister and my heart breaks for you! I guess the only thing I can say is that you have experience with emotional distress. If you need the help then go get it. I really hope that you are feeling better soon!
Know that you are in my prayers and if you need to *kitten* and complain, we are all here for you!3 -
HGSmith0920 wrote: »JFT, 3/23/18
1. Log all food I even attempted to log the food M made for dinner last night(I had leftovers for lunch)
2. 92oz of water About that probably
3. Up @ 7 Yup. It's my usual wake up time so it wasn't too hard even with my late night last night.
4. Go take out $ Hit the ATM, got coffee and milk. I love that it's all in one place and it's all about a mile away.
5. Coffee/Breakfast I got to work about 3 hours after I ate breakfast and was ravenous! It was really odd.
6. Quiet time Honestly I cant remember, so I'm going to assume that I didnt
7. YOGA DADGUMMIT! Did an 18-minute video. It was a really easy going one which was a nice way to work my way back in.
8. Food in crock before I leave Was perfect for dinner time. The chicken shredded without any effort at all
9. Work 945-515(probably) Got out at 4 actually but it was a really good day again. I'm definitely getting the hang of the transactions and everything.
10. Dinner/Dishes / I'm going against everything in me but I'm leaving a dish soaking in the sink because I can barely keep my eyes open. I'll rinse it out in the morning. I just can't make it a habit.
11. Pens Game/DH time Pens lost in overtime but at least they got a point out of it so it's okay. Lol
12. Bed whenever(12 probably) Lol Is it bad that it's only 10:40 and I'm about to bunk down for the night? Lol. I was falling asleep on the couch and I am currently sitting up in bed typing this with a cat in my lap. I think this is his favorite place to be. Anytime I am sitting in bed he is on my lap. Lol
I think this morning I totally forgot about the conversation that the DH and I had late last night. Lol. He got home about a quarter to 11. He ate the dinner I made him and then he looked into his bowl very stoically and said that we needed to talk. He then got a huge smile on his face and proceeded to tell me that there is an assessment in November that will determine if he is ready to move up to management. The next step over the next few weeks is for his assistant manager and him to come up with an action plan for all the things he needs to learn before then. That means that he will be working longer shifts and doing different things then he is now. I have no doubt that he will be able to do it. I know that he is afraid that it is going to change how he is at work and even at home. I know that I won't let that happen. We sat and talked for more than an hour about the things that were going to change and the things that couldn't change. I will stand behind him 100% but if I need him to do something for me around the house he still has to do it. I will take into accountability his disabilities but I can't let him think that just because he'll be working longer shifts that he loses all responsibilities around the house. It was just a really really good conversation. I'm really excited to see where our life is going to go next! I'm starting a new job that I think I am going to adore and he's going for the promotion that should be rightfully his. Things are going to be very interesting this year!
Okay, so onto my list!
JFT, 3/24/18
1. Attempt to log all food(Dinner at M&M's)
2. Focus on water!!
3. Up by 9
4. Coffee/Breakfast
5. Quiet time
6. Food pickup @ 9:30
7. Yoga
8. Some food prep
9. Pack laundry for transport
10. Lunch/DH time
11. M's(Other M is away for the weekend with my Daddy)
12. Laundry/Shopping/Chatting/Dinner
13. Home by 9:30
14. Leftovers for DH
15. Bed by 12
Have a great night everyone!6 -
Hey everyone.
So I’ve not really posted on here the last week. Well I have but only to reply to your posts.
I’ve not updated on my situation here, mainly because it’s been really poop and rather than drip feed my ever ongoing problems just thought I’d see what was going on myself before I shared.
So, I’m finding it pretty hard if I’m honest. It’s getting easier that’s for sure but it’s still just so hard.
Breastfeeding has stopped. I’ve got one (or more) of various problems that can be associated with BFing (Vasospasm, blocked duct or mastisis) so basically I’m in quite a lot of pain. I can’t express enough to make it “worth it” my whole days with of expressing does one bottle so it’s just not worth it. So I was pretty sad by that, I tried my best but I just feel like my body is useless. It just never seems capable of anything. But 3 weeks isn’t bad I guess!
And with her now having formula she’s nearly back at birth weight and her jaundice has nearly gone and I have more time on my hands. But feel like everyone else thinks it was just a waste of time and pointless in me even trying.
So that’s that.
The other thing is, obviously I posted my birth announcement on here but not really gone into any detail of the labour. (Not that I was gonna go graphic lol)
But I’m struggling with that too and I never have before. I keep getting horrid vivid memories of the worst parts and I feel like what did happen shouldn’t of happened.
I guess I feel quite violated (they had to stop a haemorrage by putting her hand “up there”) and they kept saying if they didn’t do that then I’d have to go theatre and I’m thinking what if I should have been in theatre. I had no pain relief as I couldn’t take any more gas and air because I felt so sick and I had baby on my chest whilst they did all this because they knew I wouldn’t freak out. But I feel like they did that on purpose.
Every time I think of it I start crying anyway
I think I’m gonna have to go to the Dr on Monday.
I just hope I’ve not been mentally affected again (like PTSD or something) because that’s just another thing again isn’t it.
My mind and body just don’t seem to work. I’m always poorly with something. I can’t remember the last day where I didn’t complain of something that was wrong with me.
And every day I just keep telling my mind to “just get through today” and I feel like I’m only just stopping myself from losing my mind and getting ill again but there’s only so many times i can trick my mind into that everything’s okay. Everyone has a breaking point. I just don’t want to reach mine.
And now it’s affecting me and my partner. We always argue now or are “off” with eachother. Ive slept in the bed twice since being home and being intimate is just no. I can’t bear the thought and it’s not him, I’m still attracted to him but I just can’t bear the thought of someone touching me. *sigh* I dunno
Bit of a pointless post but problem shared is a problem halved and all that.
Don’t want to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. Well not fully anyway.
Hope everyone else is okay though x
Hugs to you dear @Bex!! I am so very sorry you are going through all this .... but remember.... you just had a baby. You have 2 other little girls wanting your attention. I am sure you are major sleep deprived. So please be kind to yourself. for your partner..... tell him all you need is just hugs right now. I don't think my hubby and I did anything until at least 3 months after having a baby ..... like you said, right now, that is the last thing you want. Its nothing about your partner .... its just your hormones are still not where they should be, so please give yourself all the time you need.
I hope you do go and see your doctor. PTSD is nothing to mess around with or ignore, and happens to so many. I had severe postpartum depression after my first child... and kept wondering what was wrong with me. I was crying all the time. So what you are going through is very normal, but something definitely you need to discuss with your doctor.
All I can do is give you massive hugs across the oceans. I wish I was there to help watch those little ones, so you can just sleep all day, or pamper yourself. So please be kind to yourself. You've been through a lot ... you body has been through a lot... and so many needing you. As for BFng .... you did it for 3 weeks. That is huge! Little Casey got the best nourishment at those early days, but that is also what formula is for now. It is nothing against you ... and please don't think you failed at anything. You are a great mother .... you are just trying to do so much to please so many. How about just taking time to really take care of Bex!! We all love you ..... and hope you get the help you need. I think even talking to a therapist about what you are reliving with the labour would be helpful. Take care dear Bex!!4
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