The Face Problem
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saraonly9913 wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.
Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?
Thanks.saraonly9913 wrote: »Ok. So, I lost a lot of weight but have not reached my goal yet. At least 4 people have commented on my face recently. Basically telling me I'm getting too thin and that my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.
Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?
Thanks.
Maybe i'll tell the next person who says something something along of the lines of, " Yes, I know! Won't you please donate to my plastic surgery Go Fund Me Page" or just plain "plastic surgery fund" !
Try “enough about ME. Let’s talk about YOU for awhile.” Most of the time, shifting to the other person after they’ve overstepped is a great tactic. Ex:
Them: wow you look awful
You: having a bad day? I’m sorry. What can I do to help?
Them: no, I mean your face is so much older now that you’re skinny
You: it’s not like you to be insulting. What’s bothering you?
I kind of enjoy that game and it’s sure better than letting comments get to me (they do, but I hate to show it).
Your skin probably will settle into your new weight. Be proud.
I do this and it's amazingly effective in a lot of situations
Agree! I started doing it when I worked with a woman who greeted me every morning with a comment about how I needed to fix my makeup (“omg girl! Put on some LIPSTICK!” etc) because I looked “tired.” I had a newborn. (She never had kids.) Yes I was tired. Exhausted, really. I started saying “oh, your work is overwhelming you today? You can vent to me anytime.” Lol.
Very good idea. Thanks.0 -
iWishMyNameWasRebel wrote: »I went through this too. People *will* comment, whether you want them to or not, LOL! And no, you don't have to pretend that it's okay for someone to make comments about your appearance. You can tell them you don't appreciate it when they point out something about someone else's appearance without being asked to. Anyway, for me, at first, it was really disheartening to hear that even though I was so much healthier, I had wrinkles that were much more noticeable. Then, one day, I pulled up an old photo from my heavier days and REALLY looked at it. I saw how puffy my face looked, with noticeable swelling under the eyes, and how sallow the skin was. Then I looked at a recent photo and saw the puffiness and swelling were gone, and while yes, there were more wrinkles, my skin was also brighter, clearer, and had a youthful glow. Also, over time, the facial sagging perked up a bit, which helped.
Time and patience huh? Hmmmm. Thank you for another way to look at this.2 -
Brianne559 wrote: »Sounds like people you don't need in your life, OP. Anyone who feels the need to comment in this way is not being helpful, just plain rude and unnecessary. If a facelift makes you happy, go for it, but don't take to heart what a few thoughtless humans tell you.
I am doing my best to not let these comments bother me. I also don't know if I can afford plastic surgery. We shall see. I'm talking temporary refuge in the fact that I haven't even reached goal weight yet....and....I want to have a period of maintenance under my belt too. Thanks for your post.2 -
saraonly9913 wrote: »I don't know why people feel a need or right to say this, but they do and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. What is your height and weight? Is there any possibility they might be right? I ask this only because there's been more than one thread on here like this by people who were at the bottom of their weight range.
5"4' 146 , SW 245
Congrats on losing 99 lbs! What is your goal weight? I'm 5"4' and currently at 194, my GW is 137, but I would be happy to see 145 again!! My starting weight was 237, so similar to you.
I hasn't had a negative effect on my face yet. In fact people have started to comment "you've lost a lot of weight" and a couple of people said it made me look younger. These are all people who have never seen me at my GW, and only have seen me between 180-237. I don't even start to look like "myself" until about 165-70.
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I look better in the face without extra weight because my eyelids get so puffy. Guess we're all different. I do think that the skin may tighten up a bit in time. Probably depends on your genetics and things like smoking, sun exposure, etc.0
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You look fantastic don't worry about plus a healthy you good luck2
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lucerorojo wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »I don't know why people feel a need or right to say this, but they do and I'm sorry you have to deal with it. What is your height and weight? Is there any possibility they might be right? I ask this only because there's been more than one thread on here like this by people who were at the bottom of their weight range.
5"4' 146 , SW 245
Congrats on losing 99 lbs! What is your goal weight? I'm 5"4' and currently at 194, my GW is 137, but I would be happy to see 145 again!! My starting weight was 237, so similar to you.
I hasn't had a negative effect on my face yet. In fact people have started to comment "you've lost a lot of weight" and a couple of people said it made me look younger. These are all people who have never seen me at my GW, and only have seen me between 180-237. I don't even start to look like "myself" until about 165-70.
As I was losing weight, I originally got compliments that it made me look ten years younger! Fast forward to losing more weight and I get the negative comments! Go figure.
Thank you. I did it. I made a loss of 100 pounds today! I remember being happy at 195. I think my goal weight is about 125. I decided that today. Lol. But I'll see as the next few pounds go. I may not need to go that far.
You keep you the great work! 237 to 194 is awesome! You can reach your goal! Best to you!5 -
Hi. I just wanted to comment because I used to be tiny - size 4 for tops, 2, bottom. And when someone saw those pics they told me I was too thin. I was 20 and not at all trying to be thin. People equate round, full cheeks with health and youthfullness. Mentally tell them to stuff a sock in it if they mention anything but there is a cream out there for literally everything. And fascia blaster mini (for the face) can help reshape. Google this, watch the videos. I have the medium one and can tell you it’s wonderful. It night help your face. People have wonderful results! 1
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@saraonly9913 - I'm your age, currently down 118 lbs, and I do think I'm starting to look older. Particularly around the mouth and neck. Also my nose magically grew much bigger! But I also notice my neck is much tighter today than a couple of months ago. Your skin will probably continue to tighten and improve for a while. It's a shame that when I look at photos of my weight loss journey, I think my face probably looked best about 30 lbs ago, when I was still very overweight otherwise. But there are so many benefits to being a healthy weight. And my eyes are way bigger and brighter now. Do what's best for your health, and accept that we all get older, and hiding that beneath a big layer of fat is not the best option!
Also, I find the best comeback for unsolicited rude remarks is, "Why would you say that to someone?" Combined with a stare as if the person you're speaking to is an unpleasant piece of roadkill that you can't quite figure out what it was when it was alive.6 -
Hi. I just wanted to comment because I used to be tiny - size 4 for tops, 2, bottom. And when someone saw those pics they told me I was too thin. I was 20 and not at all trying to be thin. People equate round, full cheeks with health and youthfullness. Mentally tell them to stuff a sock in it if they mention anything but there is a cream out there for literally everything. And fascia blaster mini (for the face) can help reshape. Google this, watch the videos. I have the medium one and can tell you it’s wonderful. It night help your face. People have wonderful results!
Fascia blaster. Never heard of it. I'll google it. Thank you for the info.0 -
rheddmobile wrote: »@saraonly9913 - I'm your age, currently down 118 lbs, and I do think I'm starting to look older. Particularly around the mouth and neck. Also my nose magically grew much bigger! But I also notice my neck is much tighter today than a couple of months ago. Your skin will probably continue to tighten and improve for a while. It's a shame that when I look at photos of my weight loss journey, I think my face probably looked best about 30 lbs ago, when I was still very overweight otherwise. But there are so many benefits to being a healthy weight. And my eyes are way bigger and brighter now. Do what's best for your health, and accept that we all get older, and hiding that beneath a big layer of fat is not the best option!
Also, I find the best comeback for unsolicited rude remarks is, "Why would you say that to someone?" Combined with a stare as if the person you're speaking to is an unpleasant piece of roadkill that you can't quite figure out what it was when it was alive.
118 pounds! That's awesome. Congratulations. Oh the nose! Mine was always big. Lol I hear you on our noses! I'm plagued by the neck too!
I love your comment, "Do what's best for your health, and accept that we all get older, and hiding that beneath a big layer of fat is not the best option". Well put! That's the truth!
I laughed at your response at what to say to people who make mean comments. I will save that for the really mean people! Thanks.2 -
gaelicstorm wrote: »Honesty does not have to be rude. It is called social skills. There are some things that we might think in our minds or discuss with close friends that aren't appropriate if said to an acquaintance, especially if the comment was unsolicited. This is lesson I'm currently working on with my son, who has high-functioning autism. He is brutally honest, but that doesn't mean it isn't rude. Looking at a waitress and saying, "where is my food?" is rude, even if it is an honest comment on slow service.
Thank you for teaching your child to be polite. It is sorely lacking these days.3 -
My face changed while I reached my goal weight last summer. I'm 58, so it's not entirely unexpected. More lines around the mouth, the cheeks look a little drawn. But here's something cool: that double-chin is disappearing! My eyes aren't so puffy! Anyway, my face did look a little gaunt and dried up and wrinkled for about eight months, then the skin tightened up a little. I also had a facial at a nice salon, which made me feel pampered and my skin looked fabulous afterwards. I'm using a night cream, and I have convinced myself that my skin is improving. I wish I could suggest a snappy retort for you to give these rude bullying jerks. I tend to be so shocked by that kind of behavior that I just shake my head and say "Wow" or "sorry to hear you say that." Then I think of the clever comeback later that night. I was direct with my sister when she said I was looking like I have cancer: "Well, I think I'll just present the face I've earned, and let you fret all by yourself." When she persisted with a "I'm just concerned you're going to lose too much weight on this diet, because you look so much older now," I said that it was my body, it's healthier, and thanks but no thanks for the rude input. To her credit, she apologized.6
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My wife started calling me boneface. It kind of stung but wearing 32 x 32 jeans more than made up for it. I was more troubled by the turkey gobbler under my chin but again, the jeans. I confess I gained a bunch back so I'm busy going back down and ready for the boneface comments--a signal of success.3
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mulecanter wrote: »My wife started calling me boneface. It kind of stung but wearing 32 x 32 jeans more than made up for it. I was more troubled by the turkey gobbler under my chin but again, the jeans. I confess I gained a bunch back so I'm busy going back down and ready for the boneface comments--a signal of success.
I wish you the best in your way back down to boneface which I'm sure you will be so proud of! You have a great attitude!0 -
I am noticing more lines and eye sag ugh! but I am going to wear it proudly as a badge of honor for life's journey of hard knocks. Plus I'm told the lines make me look more distinguished with my silver streaked hairs...0
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saraonly9913 wrote: »... my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.
Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?
Thanks.
There were periods around 2013 to 2014 when I seriously considered getting my face around the eyes, nasal bridge and jaw area treated with Fraxel and maybe Thermage too. On my small head, any flaw is magnified by 10. Thankfully, patience, my nutrition and at home skin protocols dealt with the errs/irritants I woke up to EVERYDAY.
Years on ... I'm in an ok place for the moment. Your posts, however, led me to the documentary Series "The Ugly Truth about Beauty," on YouTube which pretty much extols negating views I myself haboured ...
https://youtu.be/zccy1EMBBNw
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777Gemma888 wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »... my face no longer looks good........ Believe me, it seems as if overnight my face has aged 10 years. It has shocked me. I imagine I'm looking at a facelift if I can ever afford it. I'm 49.
Has anyone experienced this? How have you handled it? How has it affected your self esteem? Have you made peace with your face as it is?
Thanks.
There were periods around 2013 to 2014 when I seriously considered getting my face around the eyes, nasal bridge and jaw area treated with Fraxel and maybe Thermage too. On my small head, any flaw is magnified by 10. Thankfully, patience, my nutrition and at home skin protocols dealt with the errs/irritants I woke up to EVERYDAY.
Years on ... I'm in an ok place for the moment. Your posts, however, led me to the documentary Series "The Ugly Truth about Beauty," on YouTube which pretty much extols negating views I myself haboured ...https://youtu.be/zccy1EMBBNw
Thank you for answering. I'm going to watch this later when I have free time. I'm glad you are happy with yourself!1 -
What I found is that it takes some time when you getting thinner for the face to readjust.
I have had those comments too but since I am in maintenance not anymore. Could be food related, but I think it is because time sort of redistributed things in my body - Also still saw changes in my legs and arms after I entered maintenance. Plenty of fluids could help as well.
PS when I got those comments I opted to ignore them.1 -
saraonly9913 wrote: »Thank you for answering. I'm going to watch this later when I have free time. I'm glad you are happy with yourself!
Good morning. Please do Sara. Thank you. Still a work in progress. Learning to "let go and accepting >>> moving on" is a game changer for me
Happy Saturday!!
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I thought that I would weigh in ( no pun intended). I lost most of my weight in 2013. Still maintaining logging and weighing my food since then.....5 years (whew!) Anyhow I am 58 years old, will turn 59 in another month. I kept getting asked when I was going to retire. I was 54 years old at the time, which meant at least 12 or 13 more years. I was asked multiple times. I was really getting angry because I was always thought to be younger than my chronological age. I had worked night shift for years (and still do) and thought that it had to do with not getting enough sleep. It is probably also because of my weight loss. I lost about 47 pounds. I am still at an overweight BMI but have plateaued. 5'4", SW 198...current weight 151. Getting more sleep helps but am still occasionally getting those comments. Ugh. However the comments started in 2013 after I lost most of the weight.
I still would rather be healthy and deal with the wrinkles, then be at 198 and struggling with climbing up steps.
So sorry, Sara...but thanks for having the courage to post this thread.4 -
I thought that I would weigh in ( no pun intended). I lost most of my weight in 2013. Still maintaining logging and weighing my food since then.....5 years (whew!) Anyhow I am 58 years old, will turn 59 in another month. I kept getting asked when I was going to retire. I was 54 years old at the time, which meant at least 12 or 13 more years. I was asked multiple times. I was really getting angry because I was always thought to be younger than my chronological age. I had worked night shift for years (and still do) and thought that it had to do with not getting enough sleep. It is probably also because of my weight loss. I lost about 47 pounds. I am still at an overweight BMI but have plateaued. 5'4", SW 198...current weight 151. Getting more sleep helps but am still occasionally getting those comments. Ugh. However the comments started in 2013 after I lost most of the weight.
I still would rather be healthy and deal with the wrinkles, then be at 198 and struggling with climbing up steps.
So sorry, Sara...but thanks for having the courage to post this thread.
Thank you for commenting on my courage.
So sorry to you. ((Hugs)). Awesome on your maintenance!!
Fear of maintaining. Well, that's a whole other thread for me but I'll wait for now as I'm still in losing mode0 -
If somebody told me my face didnt look good i would tell them something nice in return.3
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777Gemma888 wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »Thank you for answering. I'm going to watch this later when I have free time. I'm glad you are happy with yourself!
Good morning. Please do Sara. Thank you. Still a work in progress. Learning to "let go and accepting >>> moving on" is a game changer for me
Happy Saturday!!
Gemma.
I'm 7 minutes into this. Just realized it's 46 minutes long. I need to finish it at a later time. . I'm dissapointed as I see nothing wrong with the journalist's face to require the need for plastic surgery. I really wish the experiment would be on someone who could, can I say, reap from the benefits, perhaps someone.... like me!
I guess it will be interesting to see how they do it and watch the healing process. I'll keep you posted.1 -
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dutchandkiwi wrote: »What I found is that it takes some time when you getting thinner for the face to readjust.
I have had those comments too but since I am in maintenance not anymore. Could be food related, but I think it is because time sort of redistributed things in my body - Also still saw changes in my legs and arms after I entered maintenance. Plenty of fluids could help as well.
PS when I got those comments I opted to ignore them.
Thank you for your response.. I've upped my liquids and changed my diet. Perhaps too late. I'm hoping I will maintain and not regain!0 -
I'm 30 and have lost 30 or so pounds but I still feel I can contribute to this.
I would just like to add that some people say things that are basically not very helpful.
My parents say things like "don't get too thin", "you have a big frame you won't lose much, you're a big lad" and, like you, "your face looks a little thin".
All things that are incredibly demotivating and not good for the self-esteem.
The big frame comment came when I was still overweight and it really frustrated and annoyed me - I was just fat!
You have to ignore some people even if they mean well.
Some people may be jealous you've actually taken control of your body - unlike them.
Also, I get a lot of "advice" from people who have never dieted, never read up on the subject and are not qualified.
Filtering out people's comments and advice is really important.
Good luck with your scenario.
Ask for a professionals opinion if its really bothering you.2 -
saraonly9913 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »saraonly9913 wrote: »Thank you for answering. I'm going to watch this later when I have free time. I'm glad you are happy with yourself!
Good morning. Please do Sara. Thank you. Still a work in progress. Learning to "let go and accepting >>> moving on" is a game changer for me
Happy Saturday!!
Gemma.
I'm 7 minutes into this. Just realized it's 46 minutes long. I need to finish it at a later time. . I'm dissapointed as I see nothing wrong with the journalist's face to require the need for plastic surgery. I really wish the experiment would be on someone who could, can I say, reap from the benefits, perhaps someone.... like me!
I guess it will be interesting to see how they do it and watch the healing process. I'll keep you posted.
It is rather long I'll admit Sara. I'll scrounge around to see if there is a video focussed on treatments post weight loss for the face. I do know that Fraxel and Thermage seem to have natural results. My Mum had both procedures done, for she developed jowls in her 50's. Recovery phase was horrific to behold. Lol. The thread lift procedure favoured by many in the valley areas around Los Angeles seems to leave a fake stretched aesthetic. 1 -
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