Less Alcohol- May 2018- One Day at a Time

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  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    I’ve had days like that - seeing all the consecutive AF days and the commitments some are making to abstinence and wondering if I’m just fooling myself with my mindful moderation plan. I beat myself up a little even when I am still on plan, but I think for some of us that’s just how we are wired. I again try to remind myself of the advice I give others about focusing on small changes and building upon them to develop long term improvements and sustainable habits. That not everything is black and white but there is a very comfortable middle ground.

    I’ve seen your advice in other parts of the forums and I think it’s extremely sensible, pragmatic and helpful. Try to consider what you’d say to someone posting just what you’re expressing about feeling like they aren’t doing enough, aren’t perfect or on an arbitrary plan that they put in place for themselves (and believe me, I’m a type A planner to the extreme so I know how easy it is to self loathe when you can’t stick to your own plan).

    You’re doing great, all of us are, just continuing to show up here and drawing what we do from this thread and this group is immensely helpful. Whether it is one day AF, one less drink a day, or one day drinking out of the week... each of those “ones” is a success.

    I don't know about you but self-doubt is not something I have a ton of experience with. Pretty much as soon as I was on the less awkward side of puberty I have been a fairly confident individual even making peace with some of my eccentricities and able to laugh about them. Very much an extrovert I spent much of my younger years singing and performing in local musicals. I have run a business for more than 2 decades and taken on projects always confident to see success even if I had to learn something new to get it done. I think that self-doubt is why I compare myself to others in this thread because I am worried I am fooling myself and it is why I struggle to find my own wisdom sometimes.

    When I compare myself to former me though I kind of feel that lifting some. If I can push back some then it stands to reason I can push back more. Perhaps I am just not being patient enough.

    I often skim posts in other forums but I *never* skim yours. Not only are they always good reads but I enjoy when your snarky side shows. Of course, I am never snarky. o:)
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    @NovusDies Oh yes, exactly right. I've also gained 2 lbs. Very frustrated with myself right now. BUT today's a new day. I begin again!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Leeg5656 wrote: »
    Work has been extremely stressful this week. I dream about it at night and don't get good rest. I'm tired. I'm up on the scale. I only caved Tuesday and had one glass of wine, but I am feeling particularly vulnerable today. I need to change things up or everything is going to give ... moderation and diet. I hope I can stay strong.

    When I have been most stressed I discovered a trick 25ish years ago that helped me. I eat my lunch in a nice venue like a park. I am a believer in the cup of tea, meditation, and breathing exercises but my first trick is still one of my best because it breaks up work day and the source. You might want to give it a try. The worse that happens is nothing at all I suppose but definitely do not eat at your desk unless you really have no choice.


  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Leeg5656 wrote: »
    Work has been extremely stressful this week. I dream about it at night and don't get good rest. I'm tired. I'm up on the scale. I only caved Tuesday and had one glass of wine, but I am feeling particularly vulnerable today. I need to change things up or everything is going to give ... moderation and diet. I hope I can stay strong.

    When I have been most stressed I discovered a trick 25ish years ago that helped me. I eat my lunch in a nice venue like a park. I am a believer in the cup of tea, meditation, and breathing exercises but my first trick is still one of my best because it breaks up work day and the source. You might want to give it a try. The worse that happens is nothing at all I suppose but definitely do not eat at your desk unless you really have no choice.


    Thank you for your response @NovusDies. When we are busy and stressed, I sometimes have to eat standing up while multi-tasking or take 5 min lunches. I have a great job that allows for alot of flexibility WHEN we don't have a plane in with the pilots standing over our shoulders. I 'think' the plane we have in right now will leave at 11 today, if all goes right, so I do plan on going to a yoga class for my lunch break. This particular plane has had alot of problems and alot of little different things happening that are eating into profits and this is payroll week. ... oooh my chest is hurting just thinking about it. oh the joys of small business ownership ... Deep breaths. Back to work, I shouldn't even be typing this.
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    @Leeg5656 - I totally feel your pain. Very sorry you're going through this.
    @WinoGelato - Thanks so much for your (always) smart thoughts. I'm chugging water as we speak! Great idea.
    @NovusDies - Such a fantastic reminder of how to cope with stress. Thank you! This really helped me today.
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    @donimfp - Forgot to send you a hearty congrats. @WinoGelato mentioned people predicting it would all lead to something good (I was one of them). Sounds like you've landed in an excellent place! Must be such a relief to be heading back to work and not stressing about finding a job.
  • SanDiegofitmom
    SanDiegofitmom Posts: 303 Member
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    @NovusDies So true! Last year, I drank every night , every single night. Since Jan. 1st, cut back so much compared to a year ago. We are all more mindful now. Good reflections!

    So true! When I get down on myself I need to realize that last year I was a daily wine drinker and now I’m not. That alone is great progress!
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    SanDiegofitmom wrote: »
    JulieAL1969 wrote: »
    @NovusDies So true! When I get down on myself I need to realize that last year I was a daily wine drinker and now I’m not. That alone is great progress!

    Oh, yes, so THIS^^^^^^^. Much better off than last year!
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    Gingergal12 wrote: »
    A stressor for me is dealing with my Mom. I am like Pavlov’s dog wishing for a drink when I call her and she doesn’t answer the phone. Mom is a very strong willed, independent 81 year old. She lives alone and is in mostly good health, except 2 times in the past year she has gotten stuck on the toilet for close to 24 hours, she doesn’t have the strength to stand up. Dehydration sets in and her muscle breaks down creating an enzyme that can hurt the kidney and liver. After the first time, I convinced her to let me get her a emergency call button. Well yesterday, it happened again. Where was button? In her bedroom. EMS to ER...got home at 3am. Wished for a drink but opted for sleep, need my strength.

    Great Job! Yes, you need your strength to do what you need for yourself, too! Sorry for that trouble!
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    Under a ton of stress coming all at once. Selling my house, buying a house, daughter about to have a baby, other daughter moving to London, Mother in Law just diagnosed with bone cancer. Everyone needs me at the same time and it is hard. Jesus, take the wheel. I will continue to remember that alcohol will not help with ANY of this. I need to stay sharp. Please send good vibes my way. Thanks, Team.

    God when it rains it pours doesn’t it? Sending you umbrellas, galoshes and lots of positive thoughts. Hugs friend. You’re right that the alcohol won’t solve any of that. Just remember to try to take care of yourself while you are busy taking care of everyone/everything else.
  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    I got to work this morning, the plane is still here! aargghh Hopefully it will be gone today and everything fixed and flying high.
    I went to a yoga class yesterday for lunch and it really helped. It was a more advanced class than I normally take. I am just doing beginners, but I needed to go badly so I did an intermediate class. wooah. Kicked my butt, but it was the stress reliever that I needed, and I'm happy to report that I kept to my AF goal yesterday... and my eating goal!

    "You are stronger than you know." - I'm not sure who said it, but I know it's a quote from some movie.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    @Leeg5656, way to go!! I’m afraid the words “plane” and “fixed” in the same sentence would be enough to make me drink! Great job using yoga instead of alcohol.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,410 Member
    Hi Friends,
    I like reading articles on Psychology Today and an article about alcohol consumption caught my eye. Here are the takeaways:

    The meta-analysis combines data from 83 studies and a total of nearly 600,000 participants. It compared lighter drinkers to heavy drinkers. The researchers wanted to answer the basic question: How much can people drink before they increase their risk of dying?
    They found that drinking more than 100 grams of alcohol per week – that’s about seven glasses of beer or wine —was associated with an increased risk of death. (The U.S. Dietary Guidelines recommend no more than one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men; the recommendation for men is double what the researchers found to be a safe amount.)

    The analysis also demonstrated that the more someone drank, the greater their risk of dying. Researchers found people who drank seven to 14 alcoholic drinks a week lowered their life expectancy by about six months, people who drank 14 to 24 drinks a week lowered their life expectancy by one to two years, and drinking more than 24 drinks a week lowered life expectancy by four to five years.

    The take-home message: Yes, alcohol consumption at lower levels may have more of an impact on health than we currently understand. But there are a broad range of factors that inevitably contribute to each person’s wellbeing.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    kittybenn wrote: »
    Arrgh. For the last two nights I've engaged in "occasion" drinking, once at a friend's house and last night out with my husband for dinner. Two glasses of wine each night, but I felt pretty subpar the next day both times. And both nights I wayyy overate. There was something about the wine drinking that seemed to promote an I-don't-give-a-*kitten* attitude, and the eating was out of control. Last night I came home from dinner out and proceeded to binge on chocolate. All I can say is today's a new day, and I'm hoping to get my act together. I think the idea that I'm going on a cruise next week is playing into all this. I'm kind of thinking the party has already begun. Ok, back to basics. Having a lovely yogurt this a.m. and planning the rest of my day, foodwise, and will stick to it, dammit! Also no plan to drink tonight.


    It lowers the inhibitions and then you get to the point like F it i just want to enjoy life and have fun. That's how it is for me.
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