Less Alcohol- May 2018- One Day at a Time

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  • wigi41
    wigi41 Posts: 42 Member
    Lilann1961 I read that book and absolutely loved it. Such a good mix of her own story with cultural and social elements of alcohol use, just fabulous. Sarah hepola's book "Blackout" is also good.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    Rough day yesterday and then some very sad news just a few hours ago. No alcohol for me in spite of Dad passing away......I am the oldest and another Sister planning something. It will be hard traveling back to his house. It is roughly 5 hours away and then being there, too. Last time I drank a lot while I was there. The 23rd, I will have 4 mo. I want to just get to that day and pass that day. That happens to be my late son's birthday that day also .I just want to continue this all being AF and continue exercising, feeling good, getting things done and losing weight.......in spite of all these hard life sufferings....Sometimes lately I am just throwing stuff and saying that I have had it. Thanks for listening.

    I am very sorry for your loss.
  • trishfit2014
    trishfit2014 Posts: 304 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    Rough day yesterday and then some very sad news just a few hours ago. No alcohol for me in spite of Dad passing away......I am the oldest and another Sister planning something. It will be hard traveling back to his house. It is roughly 5 hours away and then being there, too. Last time I drank a lot while I was there. The 23rd, I will have 4 mo. I want to just get to that day and pass that day. That happens to be my late son's birthday that day also .I just want to continue this all being AF and continue exercising, feeling good, getting things done and losing weight.......in spite of all these hard life sufferings....Sometimes lately I am just throwing stuff and saying that I have had it. Thanks for listening.

    Hugs. So much loss.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,415 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    I'm 7 pages behind! I've missed this thread, and have caught up a few pages way back, but might not get to the rest tonight.

    107 days AF today! Just checked. :smile:

    I've had a bottle of bubbly in the fridge this whole time, but haven't wanted to drink it.

    When I quit smoking 4 years ago, I carried around a nearly-full pack of cigarettes for a few months before finally giving it to someone who couldn't afford a pack.

    I seem to have this thing where I like to carry on as if everything is normal, and I could drink or smoke any time I want.

    I don't want to feel desperate and anxious because I don't have bubbly handy.

    Before, it was like the end of the world if I ran out of cigarettes or alcohol, and I would rush out to get more.

    Now, I can have it whenever I want, and I don't want it. Feel fine, even if my brain is a bit weird. :smiley:

    Congrats on 107! Amazing ! I like your idea of not feeling deprived because if you want some, you can have some. I'm happy youre doing so well! Happy Weekend!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,415 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    Rough day yesterday and then some very sad news just a few hours ago. No alcohol for me in spite of Dad passing away......I am the oldest and another Sister planning something. It will be hard traveling back to his house. It is roughly 5 hours away and then being there, too. Last time I drank a lot while I was there. The 23rd, I will have 4 mo. I want to just get to that day and pass that day. That happens to be my late son's birthday that day also .I just want to continue this all being AF and continue exercising, feeling good, getting things done and losing weight.......in spite of all these hard life sufferings....Sometimes lately I am just throwing stuff and saying that I have had it. Thanks for listening.

    Oh that is awful. My deepest sympathies to you. Xoxo
  • trishfit2014
    trishfit2014 Posts: 304 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    I'm 7 pages behind! I've missed this thread, and have caught up a few pages way back, but might not get to the rest tonight.

    107 days AF today! Just checked. :smile:

    I've had a bottle of bubbly in the fridge this whole time, but haven't wanted to drink it.

    When I quit smoking 4 years ago, I carried around a nearly-full pack of cigarettes for a few months before finally giving it to someone who couldn't afford a pack.

    I seem to have this thing where I like to carry on as if everything is normal, and I could drink or smoke any time I want.

    I don't want to feel desperate and anxious because I don't have bubbly handy.

    Before, it was like the end of the world if I ran out of cigarettes or alcohol, and I would rush out to get more.

    Now, I can have it whenever I want, and I don't want it. Feel fine, even if my brain is a bit weird. :smiley:

    Great work on the 107 days.
  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    @salleewins I'm so sorry. It is a very sad day when you are Daddy's little girl and he leaves you. It's like your champion is gone, but he will never leave you.
  • SpanishFusion
    SpanishFusion Posts: 261 Member
    Saturday is our annual family campout. Lots of food, booze, sitting by the fire telling jokes. Even though the whole weekend is moderation time for me, I think I'm going to abstain tonight, so I don't have to worry about going over my allotment on Saturday.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    Rough day yesterday and then some very sad news just a few hours ago. No alcohol for me in spite of Dad passing away......I am the oldest and another Sister planning something. It will be hard traveling back to his house. It is roughly 5 hours away and then being there, too. Last time I drank a lot while I was there. The 23rd, I will have 4 mo. I want to just get to that day and pass that day. That happens to be my late son's birthday that day also .I just want to continue this all being AF and continue exercising, feeling good, getting things done and losing weight.......in spite of all these hard life sufferings....Sometimes lately I am just throwing stuff and saying that I have had it. Thanks for listening.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes throwing things helps. Stay strong, we are here for you.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    So the weekend is upon me. I had my first drink on the weekend and started drinking more socially on these days. These are the gateway days and why not? Monday and work is a long way off so why not have a drink? These days are where it began so naturally it would have to be my weakest time. This is my Bermuda triangle that scrambles navigation, throws me off my intended course, and lures me into the drink.

    Except that is a bunch of nonsense. I give these days more power because a part of me wants them to have it so I can justify having a drink.

    I think we all do this to a certain extent.
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,415 Member
    @kittybenn Sounds like you had a fabulous time! We missed you! Xo
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    I just heard of an interesting-sounding book: In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts by Dr. Gabor Mate. It’s apparently about addiction in general, not specific to alcohol, but each review I read referenced the author’s knowledgeable and compassionate treatment of the subject.

    I plan to check it out. It may have been discussed here before, but if so I missed it.
  • donimfp
    donimfp Posts: 795 Member
    Correction: No “the” in the title. Just “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction.”
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    @donimfp It looks interesting!

    This is from his website:

    https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

    Turning to the neurobiological roots of addiction, Dr. Maté presents an astonishing array of scientific evidence showing conclusively that:
    1. addictive tendencies arise in the parts of our brains governing some of our most basic and life-sustaining needs and functions: incentive and motivation, physical and emotional pain relief, the regulation of stress, and the capacity to feel and receive love;
    2. these brain circuits develop, or don’t develop, largely under the influence of the nurturing environment in early life, and that therefore addiction represents a failure of these crucial systems to mature in the way nature intended; and
    3. the human brain continues to develop new circuitry throughout the lifespan, including well into adulthood, giving new hope for people mired in addictive patterns. Dr. Maté then examines the current mainstream.


    Hmm, lots to think about just from reading that!

    I think we all have to deal with so many addiction-type habits in life.

    It's not always simply drugs or alcohol. Some things seem harmless, like the occasional drink, but at some point it can become destructive. Same goes for eating, or exercise.

    Brains can get stuck in a rut. I see some of you have found the self-care challenge thread. That's a nice find for me today. I don't want to get stuck in any more ruts.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    @donimfp It looks interesting!

    This is from his website:

    https://drgabormate.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts/

    Turning to the neurobiological roots of addiction, Dr. Maté presents an astonishing array of scientific evidence showing conclusively that:
    1. addictive tendencies arise in the parts of our brains governing some of our most basic and life-sustaining needs and functions: incentive and motivation, physical and emotional pain relief, the regulation of stress, and the capacity to feel and receive love;
    2. these brain circuits develop, or don’t develop, largely under the influence of the nurturing environment in early life, and that therefore addiction represents a failure of these crucial systems to mature in the way nature intended; and
    3. the human brain continues to develop new circuitry throughout the lifespan, including well into adulthood, giving new hope for people mired in addictive patterns. Dr. Maté then examines the current mainstream.


    Hmm, lots to think about just from reading that!

    I think we all have to deal with so many addiction-type habits in life.

    It's not always simply drugs or alcohol. Some things seem harmless, like the occasional drink, but at some point it can become destructive. Same goes for eating, or exercise.

    Brains can get stuck in a rut. I see some of you have found the self-care challenge thread. That's a nice find for me today. I don't want to get stuck in any more ruts.

    It can become destructive but I think most of the time it doesn't for most of us. I love meditation and not just in times of stress. In a way it is even a form of escapism. I do it often and I miss it if I haven't done it in awhile. It doesn't hurt me physically or mentally and as long as am not engaged at the expense of some other responsibility there is no harm that I can see. I think that is the theory, that alcohol occupies the same brain space as something like meditation. Where meditation daily can be a positive, alcohol daily is not.

    Ruts are not altogether bad either. When life is being overly chaotic doing very normal routines can help us feel grounded and even a brief relief. When we have to let go of something or someone that means a new normal is coming sometimes those routines are among the first things that help us realize it may be new but it won't be completely alien.

    My theory about the theory anyway...
  • wigi41
    wigi41 Posts: 42 Member
    I have read "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" and highly recommend it. There are all kinds of ideas and quotes that really resonated with me in this book.
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    @JulieAL1969 - first, thanks for the nice words! I did have a great time, but it also feels good to be back in a routine, with no alcohol and a reasonable diet. I'm so intrigued by your visit to the therapist, so thanks much for sharing how that went. Will be glad to hear more if you go again. And, yes, the lack of judgment here is so lovely. I learn from everyone, everyday.

    @donimfp - Wow, that books looks super interesting. Thanks for letting us know about it. I love the hopeful part about new circuitry. I'm a believer that people can develop new habits. It just takes time and persistence.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    edited May 2018
    WB @kittybenn I am so glad you had a good time. Now don't ever leave us again. :smile:
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    Greetings all. I’m back from my work trip to Germany and man am I exhausted. Little in the way of true exercise but I did manage to get quite a few steps in every day as our campus is huge. Drinks every night after long days of meetings, and two flight upgrades to business class - but mostly managed to stick with my mindful moderation. The rieslings are tasty and low alcohol, so they go down quite easily. The beers are tasty and not low alcohol so they also go down quite easily but I managed to avoid overindulging to the point of having rough mornings.

    I managed to abstain tonight partly from sheer exhaustion although we grilled steaks and a glass of red wine was very tempting. Instead I had tea and some butter cookies I snagged at the German market before leaving. Going for AF through Thursday of this week and then we leave Friday for a Memorial Day camping trip with friends. Hard to believe May is almost 2/3 over!

    Night night!
  • kittybenn
    kittybenn Posts: 444 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    I managed to abstain tonight partly from sheer exhaustion

    This is so hilarious. I've been there!

    @NovusDies - <3:)

  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,415 Member
    tamera_g wrote: »
    So I have not been very good this week. For two nights I had two shots of vodka, given to me and my husband by his Russian employee. Another night I had a glass of red wine. The mornings after I always had a slight headache.
    Now my husband is on a business trip so it's back to the straight and narrow for me. Any suggestions on nonalcoholic drinks at night? I have already discovered that I can't drink tea at night.

    I enjoy sparkling water- like LaCroix- its comes in many flavors and I sometimes add berries to it.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    So the kids and I have had the worst cold this week. I fell asleep as soon as my daughter took them up to bed at 7pm., one night. Was AF 4 nights in a row. Only drank 2 beers last night and managed to stay awake till 10. The kids seem to be over it. I think I'm on the mend, slow going.
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