Less Alcohol- May 2018- One Day at a Time
Replies
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@JenT304, your post hit me very hard. I am so delighted for you with the birth of your granddaughter. I have two little granddaughters, too, and there is nothing in the world sweeter! I also have a daughter whom I could very much envision leaving the same note as yours did. And she wouldn't do it to be mean or spiteful but only because she is a fierce Mama Bear, protective of those two precious daughters, as she should be.
However, I'm afraid my gut reaction would be a defensive, "I have never, ever drunk alcohol around those girls, and never would." That would just cause trouble that isn't needed, but I know that would be my first impulse. You are so wise for saying nothing and for using this as motivation. I'm sorry that the note evoked "shame" in you. I know it would in me, too. But I hope that goes away quickly and that you can even welcome this as yet another step in your successful journey.
I admire your wisdom and your determination. Like you, I'm realizing that trying to moderate is just kidding myself, and I'm determined to be completely AF in June. I will think of you as inspiration and will also send good thoughts your way for your own journey. xoxoxoxoxo5 -
Hi all! Good to catch up and read through posts. It was a wet May for me - I’m on board for a dry week this week then head to DC for work which is always tough because I get bored by myself in the evenings. Can’t believe summer is almost here. I see from my last few weeks that I need to really buckle down - getting loose with limits when the weather is nice is a problem!2
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This week I finished 6 months of training for a 50 km run which will be in 2 weeks.
On Friday I did my last very long run, 26 km. (I'd done 38 km the Friday before.)
Today I bought myself a box of fresh flowers and celebrated with a drink...
Of alcohol-removed bubby.
Roll on two weeks of rest prior to the big day!
awesome. Good luck on the big race day.2 -
My second granddaughter, Cara, was born today. My daughter, my son in law and their first daughter who is not even 2 yet, need me too, and they need me sober. In the list she left me ( I am caring for the toddler while they are in hospital) it said, "please do not drink". Well, talk about feeling shame. I didn't say one word about it. I have never drank while watching her child but my daughter has seen me tipsy enough times that she thought to put that on the list. It's humbling and mortifying and I am glad she wrote it down for me to see. I'm watching videos and reading my books and doing the work. I have to get this monkey off my back once and for all though after seeing that I have ZERO desire to have any.
Congrats on your grandaughter. Our children know us so well. My son shamed me and helped me decide to go af.3 -
Well May was my weakest month of 2018. I had alcoholic drinks on 11 days. And I ate unhealthy food on 13 days. Most of that was during that terrible week where I drank 5 out of 6 days and ate bad 6 out of 6 days.
I did stick to the gym and most importantly I learned from this. Old me might have given up completely after that kind of week. But honestly I am focused like I was back in January now.
All that said, I somehow managed to lose a few pounds. And I think that also has my focus back.
See you friends in the June thread!7 -
I was af 27 out of 28 days in May. I had to rearrange my schedule when my grandchildren were placed with me after my daughters problems, but I'm not trying to use it as an excuse. I can find a way to keep the workouts in there it just takes a little more planning. I did lose weight this month so as long as it's going in the right direction I will remain encouraged.7
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@donimfp Thank you. Those are very kind words. I always feel supported here no matter what. What a gift this thread is.3
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My second granddaughter, Cara, was born today. My daughter, my son in law and their first daughter who is not even 2 yet, need me too, and they need me sober. In the list she left me ( I am caring for the toddler while they are in hospital) it said, "please do not drink". Well, talk about feeling shame. I didn't say one word about it. I have never drank while watching her child but my daughter has seen me tipsy enough times that she thought to put that on the list. It's humbling and mortifying and I am glad she wrote it down for me to see. I'm watching videos and reading my books and doing the work. I have to get this monkey off my back once and for all though after seeing that I have ZERO desire to have any.
Congrats and it has to be a relief that all went well.
I am glad you handled the note so well. I can't say I would have been able to do the same.
If this is your new goal I hope your journey from here to total sobriety is as speedy as possible.3 -
Just went to the local beach. At 3:00 , I heard an announcement about happy hour beginning... then they described the drink specials.
I was arguing in my mind, "Well it isn't June yet." Then, I thought, "You always have an excuse."
In the end, I skipped the happy hour drink. Little triumphs.13 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Just went to the local beach. At 3:00 , I heard an announcement about happy hour beginning... then they described the drink specials.
I was arguing in my mind, "Well it isn't June yet." Then, I thought, "You always have an excuse."
In the end, I skipped the happy hour drink. Little triumphs.
Those little victories are so big.8 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Just went to the local beach. At 3:00 , I heard an announcement about happy hour beginning... then they described the drink specials.
I was arguing in my mind, "Well it isn't June yet." Then, I thought, "You always have an excuse."
In the end, I skipped the happy hour drink. Little triumphs.
Those little victories are so big.
Thanks Erik! Here's wishing our June is mostly DRY and sunny:)4 -
So the last two days I’ve had the habit of getting a beer call me. Both times I took one out and put it in a sleeve. Then I just put it in front of me and thought about do I really want this or is it the habit. I know if I want a beer I can have it it’s my choice. Both times I put the beer back in the fridge. Two days down!9
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »@amberellen12 It's called Dry January. I have an iphone.
I tried to use it but it only works for US or UK currencies.
Are there any others that would work in Australia, does anyone know?1 -
Surprised myself, but I stuck with it, thank you4
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OK, June is moderation month. I am in!3
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@JenT304 @donimfp Oh man, do I get the mortification. I almost didn't post this here because it's so mortifying, but in solidarity . . . I think I've mentioned that my son and girlfriend have been pretty much AF since March after a breakup that had to do with her excessive drinking. Prob his too, TBH. So, they're back together and we three are in various states of moderation/AF. They are doing amazingly well. I'm trying to keep up! Anyway, my son told me recently that a long time ago we drove our grandsons home to his house after being out to dinner with them. He said he knew we'd been drinking but didn't want to say anything. I died. I really did. Shame, mortification, the whole range of emotions. What if anything had happened to my beloved grandsons? I'm in tears thinking about how awful it would have been. It was only a couple of glasses of wine, but still. It just brought this rush of shame. I'm sitting here now with my face turning red, I kid you not.
Okay, moving on. Those days are behind me. Things have been pretty good, not perfect, with the drinking since we got back from our cruise. I need to tighten up a bit, but otherwise things are ok. Looking forward to starting a new month, both alcoholwise and foodwise. Best to everyone here. V excited about the new addition, @JenT304.
Thank you as always @JulieAL1969, for being our guiding light.6 -
@kittybenn We all have these embarrassing mortifying memories in the back of our minds. I have several I could think of. Another reason to stay focused and vigilant. I don't ever want to go back to that type of drinking. Xo
I'm happy your son and his girlfriend are together and doing well. I remember when they broke up. And now, they can work on improving their lives as a team.2 -
Colety1956 wrote: »OK, June is moderation month. I am in!
Happy you're in! Find our June link and keep us updated on your progress.2 -
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@kittybenn I hear you. There’s just something especially heartbreaking about any implication that we’re not trusted with the most precious people on earth to us. That came up in the latest season of Grace and Frankie with Lily Tomlin’s character, and even though it didn’t involve alcohol it just slew me
But we need to be compassionate to ourselves. We know better and we do better. For you relative “youngsters” here, be so thankful you’re working through this now. May your grown children never have to have a second’s concern about entrusting you with their (and your) most beloved little humans.6
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