What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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-How you can look in the mirror and not see that you're not obese anymore.
This is so true.10 -
I understand now that some people are hurt when comments have been made about how big they were before but I was surprised to realize people would feel this as well, for myself when I was carrying a lot of fat I saw myself as fat therefore expected others to see me as fat, so when I get comments now about how I’m not fat anymore, they aren’t upsetting to me. I think I look better now than I did and figure other people do as well. Looking at pics from Christmas and comments were made about my loss and how I look better now and I was so happy that others saw what I did, not upset that they didn’t think I looked good before because neither did I.
But now I am starting to get the stop loosing weight talk and find it’s super annoying.
Totally agree! That particular comment was a few months ago & it was the "you were quite big you know..." part that stuck in my craw because...I DO know all too well! I've lived it since I was a child
. I've only been doing this whole thing for 11 months...I'm 35 so I dunno....just felt like a crude (though no malice intended) comment coming from a casual work acquaintance.
When folk say "you look great/amazing/teeny/beautiful/gorgeous" (those are a few lovely ones I've had) then it's just sheer kindness. I know that having lost all this weight I am glowy, happy, smiley & the smallest I've ever been as an adult VS unhealthy, in pain, pasty, dark ringed eyes & doughy looking....no amount of nice clothing & makeup was fooling anyone, least of all me!
Folk taking time out of their day just to give someone else a wee compliment is the loveliest thing. I personally find compliments hard to take, always have, but I say thankyou & try not to add "ooh I've X amount to go, you're being too kind!" cos that part is on me. Say to myself...someone has just put themselves out there just to be kind to you - least you can do is acknowledge that Vonny!!
Commenting negatively on the way someone looked before instead of focusing on what they look like in the now is likely the difference. The phrase that comes to mind is "too soon", especially when in your head you're still "the fat girl". It's all part of a bigger picture that slots together but that doesn't mean we've completed the mental puzzle. The majority of it I think is for us, the "losers" to wrap our heads round.
But think most folk would agree that noone wants to be reminded of a time things weren't so hot for them - applies to everything in life, very noticeable weight loss shouldn't be excluded I don't reckon
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I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.15 -
The scale isn't always our friend, but it's a nice feeling when you steps on and see a new low!19
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I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous
here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
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Vonny198334 wrote: »I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
Share all you like. I loved your post. Great job! You look so good.12 -
That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.35 -
GOT_Obsessed wrote: »Vonny198334 wrote: »I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
Share all you like. I loved your post. Great job! You look so good.
Thankyou so much... intellectually I know exactly how it happened....mentally I'm like HOW?! WHEN?! I'll catch up eventually haha!dhiammarath wrote: »That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.
Wish I could give you an actual hug, been here myself.... undoubtedly will be again! To say it's a rollercoaster just doesn't cut the mustard sometimes, hey??
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@dhiammarath Your posts make me smile - not always because they are worded with humour (although they are) but because you also seem to hit where I am feeling a lot of the time. This morning I felt I was doing well - my jeans looked good (I thought) - no obvious lumps and bumps, tummy well tucked away for someone 62+, pretty good huh? A few pounds to go but - hey, what's a few lbs between friends. Now, after my walk, lunch (very light!) and a bit of work in the garden I feel as though I am busting out of my jeans - my tum looks HUGE and those last few pounds - well there's a least 10 of them and they don't seem to be going anywhere. As for the mirror - aren't going near it this afternoon. I would add that, to my husband I look no different this afternoon than I did this morning and he looks at me suspiciously when I ask him if my tummy looks big (the equivalent of 'does my bum look big in this?' in our house - no win situation). So, I guess all we can do is gird our loins, continue the good work of living healthily and enjoy those moments when we are feeling good. I look forward to the day when I can feel like I did this morning all day and every day - but I suspect it may never arrive.16
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dhiammarath wrote: »That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.
So much this! I feel proud of myself for how far I've come at times but other times want to chastise myself because I have so far to go still. I do still have a long, long way to go but it just amazes me how different emotions will hit me and make me see myself so differently. Even looking at the scale or putting on clothes that were tight before and are loose now, sometimes I think it is somehow a trick. It's amazing to me how much my mind can mess with me!
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@motivatedmartha If we can't laugh, then what's the other alternative?! I'd rather laugh, for sure! Those are my days exactly. I swear, it's like my bum and my gut collude together to try and escape the pants. They should go to the circus and do tricks, maybe I'd have a few extra bucks, ha! Gotta push through it -- my husband looks at me much the same way. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! MY WIFE IS HOT!" Which I love him for, but at the same time, I'm like, "No, seriously. Is my inner rubber ducky floatie exposing itself around my pants? JUST TELL ME. TELL ME IF MY BUILT IN FLOATATION IS EXPOSED." Eventually I give in, but I wander past reflections, looking for it. Is it there? But the reality is that while I have extra "softness" on my hips and no matter what size pants I wear, I still have this extra roundness, that it is not as bad as I think it is. My brain, however, can weave a tall tale of terror, but I gotta fight it!
@ChangeIsGood29 However far you have to GO, don't let that hinder how far you've COME. Because that's what gets me through the days when my inner demons try to trick me into feeling like I've done nothing, gone nowhere. It's NEVER a trick! Though it feels that way, remember, despite the fear that smaller clothes lie... they really don't. And the scale doesn't always lie. You ARE making progress!16 -
@Vonny198334 Internet hugs are real! It IS a rollercoaster, but hey. Rollercoasters come to a stop eventually and I plan to get off with a better mental me as well as physical me! So can you!9
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bkennedy1981 wrote: »-How you can look in the mirror and not see that you're not obese anymore.
This is so true.
You've hit the nail square on the head. You can look right through yourself. I could brush my teeth and put on my makeup without ever looking at myself. That's why Before and After photos don't work for me. I can look at a photo plastered on my fridge and not even see it every single day. It's a total blur, that's my mind with the dieting mute button pressed.9 -
I was not expecting to drop sizes as fast as I have. When I began, I started in the middle of the overweight BMI (27.5) and wanted to get to the middle of a normal BMI. This totals out to about a 30lb goal to lose. I'm only half way there. What I was expecting was that by now, my clothes I already own and was cramming myself into would simply fit better. What I did not expect was to find out I had dropped a full pant size (or two depending on where I shop) AND 1-2 full shirt sizes. I thought it was vanity sizing at first. When I began I was wearing Junior's XL, and Misses L for shirts. Size 8 Jeans. It started when I went shopping and found a pair of shorts I liked. Size 6's. They were huge, after going down a size and returning them twice I gave up on them thinking that brand just ran big. Then I was trying on dresses at another store and grabbed a L thinking "well I have lost a bit, so Large will fit". Nope it hung on me I had to buy a Medium. I was also thinking it was vanity sizing and that store's brand just ran big. I have bought and returned enough things for being too big. I think I am finally coming to terms that I really have dropped a size or two and it's not clothing manufacturers messing with me.20
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>>Folk taking time out of their day just to give someone else a wee compliment is the loveliest thing. I personally find compliments hard to take, always have, but I say thankyou & try not to add "ooh I've X amount to go, you're being too kind!" cos that part is on me. Say to myself...someone has just put themselves out there just to be kind to you - least you can do is acknowledge that Vonny!!
thank you for this. I have some family members who are trying to encourage me by saying I look great (I've lost a fraction of what I need to, so to me, the notion that I look great is ridiculous). I need to remember they are being kind and accept it.21 -
dhiammarath wrote: »@motivatedmartha If we can't laugh, then what's the other alternative?! I'd rather laugh, for sure! Those are my days exactly. I swear, it's like my bum and my gut collude together to try and escape the pants. They should go to the circus and do tricks, maybe I'd have a few extra bucks, ha! Gotta push through it -- my husband looks at me much the same way. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! MY WIFE IS HOT!" Which I love him for, but at the same time, I'm like, "No, seriously. Is my inner rubber ducky floatie exposing itself around my pants? JUST TELL ME. TELL ME IF MY BUILT IN FLOATATION IS EXPOSED." Eventually I give in, but I wander past reflections, looking for it. Is it there? But the reality is that while I have extra "softness" on my hips and no matter what size pants I wear, I still have this extra roundness, that it is not as bad as I think it is. My brain, however, can weave a tall tale of terror, but I gotta fight it!
@ChangeIsGood29 However far you have to GO, don't let that hinder how far you've COME. Because that's what gets me through the days when my inner demons try to trick me into feeling like I've done nothing, gone nowhere. It's NEVER a trick! Though it feels that way, remember, despite the fear that smaller clothes lie... they really don't. And the scale doesn't always lie. You ARE making progress!
From this day forth my tummy shall be known as my 'inner rubber ducky floatie' - love it!!!15 -
The frustration and joy of the next size down almost fitting...23
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I found an entire rack of size 32 pants on sale @ the Columbia outlet. The sales guy felt the need to point out that "all those are size 32". I said thanks that's my size and I appreciate them being 70% off the over-inflated original price.... lol!!15
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I didn't know how hard it would be not to grab some people by the collar and tell them they just don't get how much better they would feel if they would quit whining about how hard it is and just do it anyway. It's frustrating to be be unable to get through to some people close to you. It comes off as bragging or the zeal of the newly converted (there is some truth to that latter part) or worse yet as demeaning. I try to say I feel so much better and I want you to feel this good also but what they hear is that I now think less of them from my new perspective.19
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There's people who want to bring you down. Who knows why, be it because they are jealous or they just thrive on negativity. Recently someone was asking me how long I've been dieting and how much I've lost. As soon as I said I started March 1st and I've lost 60 lbs., it started. "You know people who loose weight too fast gain it all back right?" "Studies show people almost always gain it all back plus some within 2 years."
Well studies can kiss my not so fat anymore*kitten.*
I haven't heard that expression before (about "studies can kiss my not so fat anymore *kitten*"). You've just made my day.
Let's not let others bring us down like that.
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Nobody told me that not everyone would have my drive, desire, motivation, patience, and determination to succeed at this. I have helped several people get started at both the gym and with this app. Very few have kept at it.
I was really disappointed initially, but now I just worry about me.25 -
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I don't know if it's the weight-loss or the working out but I'm far less clumsy now than I used to be.22
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How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.20
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whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.16 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.
Yes... was just sharing this in conversation with a friend recently. Fresh fruit is finally a staple in my daily CI and I'm pleasantly surprised how it only continues to taste better as I've eliminated the high corn syrup sodas and cut back significantly on the amount of processed "sugar added" foods I consume. With those sources of human applied high sugar foods curbed back the 'naturally occurring" sources taste so much better (as mother nature intended).12 -
I love fruit but I have not lost my taste for other sweets. I have just learned to exercise more control; fun size candy bars, eating one treat even though there ae two in a package, etc.15
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Ghostofachance wrote: »whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.
Well, they should... Since they're packed with sugar...8 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »whitej1234 wrote: »How it will be a problem to find a sweet thing that tastes good. And I mean I have a major sweet tooth, and I crave sweet stuff now too. But when I allow myself a bite of the sweet stuff I can't resists, it tastes so bad I actually can't take another bite of it. Now I am stuck with not being able to eat sweet stuff and craving how they used to taste at the same time.
I agree with you - things like cakes, pies and candy are usually too sweet for me these days. I find a little dried fruit, like an apricot or a few cherries, satisfies my sweet tooth when I'm really craving something sweet.
I agree! I eat some low sugar clif bars and they taste like chocolate bars to me now. I NEVER use actual sugar anymore. Dried fruits with no added sugar are super sweet to me now!6
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