What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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I know this was said before, but I always hated clothes shopping. I'm shaped weird and tall. Double whammy. A few years ago I was at my lowest weight. What no one told me was that I would actually enjoy shopping for dresses as there is such a large variety in normal sizes. I'm only a few lbs up from then, but with age the shape has gotten even weirder. Hoping that as I lose it gets better.15
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That you may not like all the changes and some will take some getting used to. I think my face shows my age more now. When I type on the keyboard or do something else that has my hands positioned in a similar fashion, the bones on the back of my hands show prominently with wrinkles in between. Some wrinkles around the belly button.15
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That I would be the object of resentment going out to eat. When I was obese I would always order the lowest calorie options at restaurants, but pig out at home - how I got obese. Now that I've been eating at a deficit and lost a huge amount of weight, I do the opposite. A friend actually pointed it out to me. When I eat out, that's my huge meal of the day. My other meals are severely restricted to fit the high calorie restaurant meal in.
I've become aware of the ugly looks and snide comments regarding that I am "lucky", "have a high metabolism", "genetics", and even "bulimic" because I "eat whatever I want and stay thin".26 -
CarvedTones wrote: »That you may not like all the changes and some will take some getting used to. I think my face shows my age more now. When I type on the keyboard or do something else that has my hands positioned in a similar fashion, the bones on the back of my hands show prominently with wrinkles in between. Some wrinkles around the belly button.
Yeah I hear you. I have this weird divot in the inside of my elbow now. Still don't want to gain the weight back, of course.6 -
I can fit SO much more clothing into a suitcase. I just started packing for a trip, and I have a pile of about 10 tank tops and t-shirts and I just can't get over how TINY it is. I feel like I don't have enough clothing because the stack is so much smaller than it was last year!18
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That I would be the object of resentment going out to eat. When I was obese I would always order the lowest calorie options at restaurants, but pig out at home - how I got obese. Now that I've been eating at a deficit and lost a huge amount of weight, I do the opposite. A friend actually pointed it out to me. When I eat out, that's my huge meal of the day. My other meals are severely restricted to fit the high calorie restaurant meal in.
I've become aware of the ugly looks and snide comments regarding that I am "lucky", "have a high metabolism", "genetics", and even "bulimic" because I "eat whatever I want and stay thin".
I get a few comments that annoy me suggesting that I am "falling of the wagon" (one of my favorite stolen lines from someone else on mfp is "there is no wagon") and "here we go again" because I am going to gain it all back like I have in the past. But I knew I was going out and saved space for it. Last night, I enjoyed going out to dinner with a couple of people I only met recently in a SUP paddling group. No judgements and we had all just burned more calories than most of us were eating.16 -
Sabotage. Self-induced and from others. Could be your mate or coworkers, relatives, friends and foes. When there's a major weight releasing it can really give other people a big pinch.
If your wife or husband is telling you that you look sick, scrawny or pale that's a mind warp. They could be scared that you're going to run off with someone else. Not only are you taking care of your wellbeing but you may have to reassure someone you're not going to kick them to the curb. It can all be exhausting and many just give up and throw the towel in.
Don't. No one has to live in your body.
Don't be scared be prepared for the saboteurs that will come out of the woodwork. If you've suffered the slings and arrows of bullies when you were heavy...they'll come right back at you when you're not. Get ready.
People are divisive. Not everyone has your best interest at heart. Even those closest to you may want you to eat it all back. They have their reasons and mostly it's to justify keeping everything at the status quo. But you don't want to go out like that.
Hails Bells, let it give them a big pinch. Let nothing deter you. Overcoming self-sabotage is hard but get ready.
Don't wait until the weight is gone before you start walking into the room with your lion tamer's confidence. Not driven by the super ego but just loving and caring about yourself so when they come at you - you refuse to throw the towel in. You're not going out like that.
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There's people who want to bring you down. Who knows why, be it because they are jealous or they just thrive on negativity. Recently someone was asking me how long I've been dieting and how much I've lost. As soon as I said I started March 1st and I've lost 60 lbs., it started. "You know people who loose weight too fast gain it all back right?" "Studies show people almost always gain it all back plus some within 2 years."
Well studies can kiss my not so fat anymore*kitten.*
Sure studies show those people who starve themselves and crash diet and then reward themselves with a pile of chili cheese fries will gain it back. But my thing is, I was real freaking large. I've lost 60lbs...because I had about 150 to loose. I changed my habits. I drink water, not coke all day. I eat completely different, exercise is now a daily part of life. Do you think I'm just going to completely quit all of that and start eating crap again when I get to my goal? No. I changed my lifestyle. Sure, I'll probably fluctuate here and there over the course of my life time. But I'm not in this for a few months or to get to a certain weight and stop. I'm in this for life.45 -
There are a lot of discussions about BMI and whether or not it is accurate for everyone. Sometimes it's not; I get that. But it is reasonably accurate for me. So I used it to set my goal. Several people I know are aware of that. Since I have made goal, I have heard the comment about BMI not being accurate a lot from people who never mentioned it when I was still losing and it was still a goal that would not be easy to achieve. It's like they are using this to try to diminish the accomplishment. I have called a couple out - "Are you saying you think I am still fat or unhealthy?" That results in some stammering and usually a No. Sometimes i even go on the attack a little and tell them it's amazing how large frames often shrink when the fat melts away.23
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Haha I have this issue too! Everyone keeps saying their brain isn't catching up, but mine's well ahead! I'm like "oh man I'm so thin now, I'm doing so great! I bet I'm a size 7!"
*can't get a 7 up past my thighs* lolol
...
I should also note that my weight gain is recent which probably has somethingto do with this. I gained about 30 pounds in 6 months during a very stressful time in my life. So it still feels natural to go for smaller sizes.
I have been doing the same thing!
"Yes! My pants are so loose, I am going to fit into the next size down today!" annnnd no.
Or I will be in yoga class or at the gym thinking I am killing it and catch a glimpse of my 200lb self in the mirror compared to the other people... "Well, that is enough looking in that direction for today..."
Interesting thought that it is due to recent weight gain. I have been at my weight for a while, but for most of my life I was between 120-130 with muscle, size 6-8. Part of me still does not recognize myself when I looking the mirror over the last few (+) years.23 -
myssjaxson wrote: »How when you hit your goal weight you don't magically have a perfect bikini body, WHERE ARE THE UNICORNS I EXPECTED??????
Yes, thank you so much for posting this! I am not even close to my goal weight, just two months in, but I am already noticing that my body will be very different than before I put the weight on.
Part of me really believed I would look exactly like a did 7 years ago before I really gained weight. Logically, I know that is silly, but realistically I am finding it difficult to accept that I am going to look quite different.
(Not that I had a perfect bikini body, but I was relativity happy with the way I looked.)22 -
myssjaxson wrote: »How when you hit your goal weight you don't magically have a perfect bikini body, WHERE ARE THE UNICORNS I EXPECTED??????
Yes, thank you so much for posting this! I am not even close to my goal weight, just two months in, but I am already noticing that my body will be very different than before I put the weight on.
Part of me really believed I would look exactly like a did 7 years ago before I really gained weight. Logically, I know that is silly, but realistically I am finding it difficult to accept that I am going to look quite different.
(Not that I had a perfect bikini body, but I was relativity happy with the way I looked.)
I have changed shape too! I tried on a favourite cocktail dress that I had been hanging on to from about 16 years ago and while it fits it looks all wrong. Perhaps it has more to do with 16years of aging, I guess 62 year old me is different from 46 year old me21 -
That the image you might have in mind for what you will look like at goal most likely isn't what you will actually look like. But that is okay. My body is a lot lumpier with some loose jiggly skin around my tummy and thighs, and I would not feel comfortable wearing a bikini that wasn't high waisted. I never thought I would have loose skin as I was naive and felt I "didn't have that much to lose" so it wouldn't happen. But I would much rather have the loose skin than be over 65lbs heavier again! Still 10lbs to go, never looking back.
Something else... I have been overweight my entire adult life up to now, for as long as I can remember. So I can be extremely uncomfortable and sensitive when people mention my weight loss. Instead of feeling flattered, sometimes I feel hurt. That was still me before I lost weight, and I had just as must value then as I do now. I am proud of the changes I have made, and on the one hand it is nice when people notice. But on the other hand, sometimes people can be insensitive about it, like I am a new person. I guess I always assumed I would be so happy and proud that I wouldn't be upset at all by remarks.35 -
sugarlemonpie wrote: »That the image you might have in mind for what you will look like at goal most likely isn't what you will actually look like. But that is okay. My body is a lot lumpier with some loose jiggly skin around my tummy and thighs, and I would not feel comfortable wearing a bikini that wasn't high waisted. I never thought I would have loose skin as I was naive and felt I "didn't have that much to lose" so it wouldn't happen. But I would much rather have the loose skin than be over 65lbs heavier again! Still 10lbs to go, never looking back.
Something else... I have been overweight my entire adult life up to now, for as long as I can remember. So I can be extremely uncomfortable and sensitive when people mention my weight loss. Instead of feeling flattered, sometimes I feel hurt. That was still me before I lost weight, and I had just as must value then as I do now. I am proud of the changes I have made, and on the one hand it is nice when people notice. But on the other hand, sometimes people can be insensitive about it, like I am a new person. I guess I always assumed I would be so happy and proud that I wouldn't be upset at all by remarks.
I kind of get that but from a different perspective. I do feel like a new person. I am more active. I am doing new things and meeting new people. In some social gatherings, I am in the high energy circle talking about paddling the sound to waste islands or long hikes. And I can actually do those things.
I have some loose skin, more wrinkles and I think my face shows my age (turn 60 later this year) more, These issues are minor with my new attitude.14 -
That I would have more, rather than less, desire to wear Spanx and other such garments AFTER dropping 50 pounds. Melted Candle Syndrome is real, people.38
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I've lost a lot, but it's amazing how many people (who have not list weight, including those who are currently trying) think they know better and try to give me advice (I just nod and smile and then ignore it)
Yep. No matter how much detail you go into as well, so many cannot comprend that simply eating fewer calories than you use works. They always insist on some crackpot diet will work better.
Now if someone else has great results, I am willing to listen as I may learn something new that I can incorporate.
I don't really understand this. Why should the messenger matter? I believe good advice is good advice, regardless of who is giving said advice. Would you ignore advice to "look both ways before crossing a street" just because the person giving that advice never walks farther than the distance from her house to her car?
The truth is, human beings are constantly evolving. We are not our past nor are we solely our present. When we judge others by one or the other, we miss out on an opportunity to gain wisdom. As such, I almost always listen to what people have to say and only choose to follow or ignore the advice after reflecting on the advice given.9 -
Most of my friends grew tired of the healthy/energized/happy me. They grew tired of me wanting to share my progress (not in a boasting manner, in a “look what my body can do now!” or “look at how hard I’ve worked” manner). They stopped talking to me and made excuses to not hang out because I didn’t want to just binge drink anymore or lay around and gossip. I have too much energy for their lifestyle.
But a few friends that truly care about my health and the longevity of my life stayed close by and keep motivating me.
When you change your lifestyle, you find out who has really loved you.34 -
Nobody told me that with less belly and thigh fat on you it hurts when the cat steps on you!25
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GOT_Obsessed wrote: »Nobody told me that with less belly and thigh fat on you it hurts when the cat steps on you!
My cat has pointy little feet too. ouch.11 -
Most of my friends grew tired of the healthy/energized/happy me. They grew tired of me wanting to share my progress (not in a boasting manner, in a “look what my body can do now!” or “look at how hard I’ve worked” manner). They stopped talking to me and made excuses to not hang out because I didn’t want to just binge drink anymore or lay around and gossip. I have too much energy for their lifestyle.
But a few friends that truly care about my health and the longevity of my life stayed close by and keep motivating me.
When you change your lifestyle, you find out who has really loved you.
I was a serial starter and commiserated with other serial starters. They don't like being told that they just don't want it bad enough. Even though I did not say it say that explicitly, when I explain why I am succeeding it is pretty much implied.
I quit drinking for more reasons than weight loss and it had a similar effect. Saying I had a problem and addressed it implies to some friends that they do also and need to address it. They don't like that.
In both those cases, I make people feel like and/or realize they were failing because of their own actions or inaction. None of these people are really close friends; I was somewhat socially inept, largely due to type II bipolar depression I had not been getting treatment for. Seeking proper treatment was a big part of deciding to get healthy.
I am more active now and a lot of existing friends are not interested in going for a hike instead of drinks or going paddling. So, I found local groups on FB and MeetUp for hiking and SUP paddling. Some people I meet are becoming friends. I am quickly developing a largely different set of friends. I did not expect this.23 -
You realize you don't need to go into the handicap stall in the bathroom any more to feel like you have enough room. Strange things like that.
This is so true. I use the regular stall now all the time but before it was like a coffin -scary tight.
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Struggling with head hunger versus actual hunger still can be an issue no matter how much you think you know the difference.
Being able to cross your legs at the knees
Being able to try on clothes without breaking a sweat
Being able to put on sneakers without being a contortionist
Being able to wipe your bottom successfully.
Weird back pain that you didn't have before.
Being able to buy anything without trying it on and having it fit fine.
Fitting in the seats comfortably at the movie theater.
Not running from the camera or hiding behind your children when photographed.
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Any time I hear "can you eat that?" it's annoying.20
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Most of my friends grew tired of the healthy/energized/happy me. They grew tired of me wanting to share my progress (not in a boasting manner, in a “look what my body can do now!” or “look at how hard I’ve worked” manner). They stopped talking to me and made excuses to not hang out because I didn’t want to just binge drink anymore or lay around and gossip. I have too much energy for their lifestyle.
But a few friends that truly care about my health and the longevity of my life stayed close by and keep motivating me.
When you change your lifestyle, you find out who has really loved you.
Most of my close friends were genuinely happy for me and they are still around and still supporting me and very understanding. A few friends never said a word about anything I was doing and when you lose over 100 pounds, you know they notice. I didn't take that personally, but still odd. After hearing peoples stories of losing friends, I am very grateful that for the most part I still have the same core friends. One of my friends would text me every Monday to see how my weigh in went, I would have a text on my phone after most sessions with my trainer...it was nice to have the support.22 -
That some people cannot accept that it’s a lifestyle change and not a diet. I’ve recently had lots of comments that I must be following SW or WW. I explain I’m using MFP, eating less, moving more and calorie counting, which then leads to their eyes glazing over.15
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I've lost a lot, but it's amazing how many people (who have not list weight, including those who are currently trying) think they know better and try to give me advice (I just nod and smile and then ignore it)
Yep. No matter how much detail you go into as well, so many cannot comprend that simply eating fewer calories than you use works. They always insist on some crackpot diet will work better.
Now if someone else has great results, I am willing to listen as I may learn something new that I can incorporate.
I don't really understand this. Why should the messenger matter? I believe good advice is good advice, regardless of who is giving said advice. Would you ignore advice to "look both ways before crossing a street" just because the person giving that advice never walks farther than the distance from her house to her car?
The truth is, human beings are constantly evolving. We are not our past nor are we solely our present. When we judge others by one or the other, we miss out on an opportunity to gain wisdom. As such, I almost always listen to what people have to say and only choose to follow or ignore the advice after reflecting on the advice given.
Well you might decide to fully listen to the person who's telling you that what you're doing is wrong, and that the hGC injection regiment where you only eat 500 Cal/day for 8 weeks is the way to go. But that's you, I'll stop someone as soon as I hear about how eating less & moving more is all wrong and how thier diet is great, even though they've never had any success. Don't need nor want the lastest $49.99 mumbo jumbo diet.14 -
How hard it is to keep weight off and stay on track. Some days I just want to go back to my old habits, some days I do - then 5+ lbs later I have to check myself. It's so ongoing I just hope it gets a little easier22
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sugarlemonpie wrote: »That the image you might have in mind for what you will look like at goal most likely isn't what you will actually look like. But that is okay. My body is a lot lumpier with some loose jiggly skin around my tummy and thighs, and I would not feel comfortable wearing a bikini that wasn't high waisted. I never thought I would have loose skin as I was naive and felt I "didn't have that much to lose" so it wouldn't happen. But I would much rather have the loose skin than be over 65lbs heavier again! Still 10lbs to go, never looking back.
Something else... I have been overweight my entire adult life up to now, for as long as I can remember. So I can be extremely uncomfortable and sensitive when people mention my weight loss. Instead of feeling flattered, sometimes I feel hurt. That was still me before I lost weight, and I had just as must value then as I do now. I am proud of the changes I have made, and on the one hand it is nice when people notice. But on the other hand, sometimes people can be insensitive about it, like I am a new person. I guess I always assumed I would be so happy and proud that I wouldn't be upset at all by remarks.
Big thanks for this! We're our own worst critics I think but I do try to remember that no matter how I will look at goal (Healthy BMI, 30lbs away) my life is so so much better than 77lbs ago. Though just now, my battle is trying to align my brain with body...work in progress! Haha!
Second part though, man o MAN, can I SO relate with you! A few months ago someone said to me "You have lost so much weight! You really were quite big you know....
Glad to see you've not changed any as a person though, you're still the same - just smaller!"
Okay...all true. I WAS very big for my height & frame & no, I didn't carry it particularly well or look my best - I totally know that.
But if I am still the same person, (which I am, just probably less self conscious in some ways) why are you trying to separate me from "before"??
There was no malice meant on the person's side at all, totally understand that...but...you're commenting on how much I've changed aesthetically while simultaneously saying I'm still the same person....how is that not going to hurt my feelings a wee bit?
Just can never envisage myself saying such a thing to someone else!
Now I've dealt with that side of things, the influx of "Hope you're not going to lose much more" have begun! Sorry amigos, I'm very much NOT finished losing fat over here.
Crazy...not a single person said anything when I was shoving down Doritos 20 x a day like they were going out of fashion!
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From people telling me: “you’re too skinny” to “damn girl you look thick” to “awww how many months are you pregnant”? IM NOT PREGNANT!!!!!!!! This journey has been a roller coaster ride and today I’m finally seeing result in stomach area!!!!!29
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I understand now that some people are hurt when comments have been made about how big they were before but I was surprised to realize people would feel this as well, for myself when I was carrying a lot of fat I saw myself as fat therefore expected others to see me as fat, so when I get comments now about how I’m not fat anymore, they aren’t upsetting to me. I think I look better now than I did and figure other people do as well. Looking at pics from Christmas and comments were made about my loss and how I look better now and I was so happy that others saw what I did, not upset that they didn’t think I looked good before because neither did I.
But now I am starting to get the stop loosing weight talk and find it’s super annoying.18
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