What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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You realize you don't need to go into the handicap stall in the bathroom any more to feel like you have enough room. Strange things like that.
This is so true. I use the regular stall now all the time but before it was like a coffin -scary tight.
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Struggling with head hunger versus actual hunger still can be an issue no matter how much you think you know the difference.
Being able to cross your legs at the knees
Being able to try on clothes without breaking a sweat
Being able to put on sneakers without being a contortionist
Being able to wipe your bottom successfully.
Weird back pain that you didn't have before.
Being able to buy anything without trying it on and having it fit fine.
Fitting in the seats comfortably at the movie theater.
Not running from the camera or hiding behind your children when photographed.
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Any time I hear "can you eat that?" it's annoying.20
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Most of my friends grew tired of the healthy/energized/happy me. They grew tired of me wanting to share my progress (not in a boasting manner, in a “look what my body can do now!” or “look at how hard I’ve worked” manner). They stopped talking to me and made excuses to not hang out because I didn’t want to just binge drink anymore or lay around and gossip. I have too much energy for their lifestyle.
But a few friends that truly care about my health and the longevity of my life stayed close by and keep motivating me.
When you change your lifestyle, you find out who has really loved you.
Most of my close friends were genuinely happy for me and they are still around and still supporting me and very understanding. A few friends never said a word about anything I was doing and when you lose over 100 pounds, you know they notice. I didn't take that personally, but still odd. After hearing peoples stories of losing friends, I am very grateful that for the most part I still have the same core friends. One of my friends would text me every Monday to see how my weigh in went, I would have a text on my phone after most sessions with my trainer...it was nice to have the support.22 -
That some people cannot accept that it’s a lifestyle change and not a diet. I’ve recently had lots of comments that I must be following SW or WW. I explain I’m using MFP, eating less, moving more and calorie counting, which then leads to their eyes glazing over.15
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I've lost a lot, but it's amazing how many people (who have not list weight, including those who are currently trying) think they know better and try to give me advice (I just nod and smile and then ignore it)
Yep. No matter how much detail you go into as well, so many cannot comprend that simply eating fewer calories than you use works. They always insist on some crackpot diet will work better.
Now if someone else has great results, I am willing to listen as I may learn something new that I can incorporate.
I don't really understand this. Why should the messenger matter? I believe good advice is good advice, regardless of who is giving said advice. Would you ignore advice to "look both ways before crossing a street" just because the person giving that advice never walks farther than the distance from her house to her car?
The truth is, human beings are constantly evolving. We are not our past nor are we solely our present. When we judge others by one or the other, we miss out on an opportunity to gain wisdom. As such, I almost always listen to what people have to say and only choose to follow or ignore the advice after reflecting on the advice given.
Well you might decide to fully listen to the person who's telling you that what you're doing is wrong, and that the hGC injection regiment where you only eat 500 Cal/day for 8 weeks is the way to go. But that's you, I'll stop someone as soon as I hear about how eating less & moving more is all wrong and how thier diet is great, even though they've never had any success. Don't need nor want the lastest $49.99 mumbo jumbo diet.14 -
How hard it is to keep weight off and stay on track. Some days I just want to go back to my old habits, some days I do - then 5+ lbs later I have to check myself. It's so ongoing I just hope it gets a little easier22
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sugarlemonpie wrote: »That the image you might have in mind for what you will look like at goal most likely isn't what you will actually look like. But that is okay. My body is a lot lumpier with some loose jiggly skin around my tummy and thighs, and I would not feel comfortable wearing a bikini that wasn't high waisted. I never thought I would have loose skin as I was naive and felt I "didn't have that much to lose" so it wouldn't happen. But I would much rather have the loose skin than be over 65lbs heavier again! Still 10lbs to go, never looking back.
Something else... I have been overweight my entire adult life up to now, for as long as I can remember. So I can be extremely uncomfortable and sensitive when people mention my weight loss. Instead of feeling flattered, sometimes I feel hurt. That was still me before I lost weight, and I had just as must value then as I do now. I am proud of the changes I have made, and on the one hand it is nice when people notice. But on the other hand, sometimes people can be insensitive about it, like I am a new person. I guess I always assumed I would be so happy and proud that I wouldn't be upset at all by remarks.
Big thanks for this! We're our own worst critics I think but I do try to remember that no matter how I will look at goal (Healthy BMI, 30lbs away) my life is so so much better than 77lbs ago. Though just now, my battle is trying to align my brain with body...work in progress! Haha!
Second part though, man o MAN, can I SO relate with you! A few months ago someone said to me "You have lost so much weight! You really were quite big you know....
Glad to see you've not changed any as a person though, you're still the same - just smaller!"
Okay...all true. I WAS very big for my height & frame & no, I didn't carry it particularly well or look my best - I totally know that.
But if I am still the same person, (which I am, just probably less self conscious in some ways) why are you trying to separate me from "before"??
There was no malice meant on the person's side at all, totally understand that...but...you're commenting on how much I've changed aesthetically while simultaneously saying I'm still the same person....how is that not going to hurt my feelings a wee bit?
Just can never envisage myself saying such a thing to someone else!
Now I've dealt with that side of things, the influx of "Hope you're not going to lose much more" have begun! Sorry amigos, I'm very much NOT finished losing fat over here.
Crazy...not a single person said anything when I was shoving down Doritos 20 x a day like they were going out of fashion!
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From people telling me: “you’re too skinny” to “damn girl you look thick” to “awww how many months are you pregnant”? IM NOT PREGNANT!!!!!!!! This journey has been a roller coaster ride and today I’m finally seeing result in stomach area!!!!!29
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I understand now that some people are hurt when comments have been made about how big they were before but I was surprised to realize people would feel this as well, for myself when I was carrying a lot of fat I saw myself as fat therefore expected others to see me as fat, so when I get comments now about how I’m not fat anymore, they aren’t upsetting to me. I think I look better now than I did and figure other people do as well. Looking at pics from Christmas and comments were made about my loss and how I look better now and I was so happy that others saw what I did, not upset that they didn’t think I looked good before because neither did I.
But now I am starting to get the stop loosing weight talk and find it’s super annoying.18 -
-How you can look in the mirror and not see that you're not obese anymore.
This is so true.10 -
I understand now that some people are hurt when comments have been made about how big they were before but I was surprised to realize people would feel this as well, for myself when I was carrying a lot of fat I saw myself as fat therefore expected others to see me as fat, so when I get comments now about how I’m not fat anymore, they aren’t upsetting to me. I think I look better now than I did and figure other people do as well. Looking at pics from Christmas and comments were made about my loss and how I look better now and I was so happy that others saw what I did, not upset that they didn’t think I looked good before because neither did I.
But now I am starting to get the stop loosing weight talk and find it’s super annoying.
Totally agree! That particular comment was a few months ago & it was the "you were quite big you know..." part that stuck in my craw because...I DO know all too well! I've lived it since I was a child. I've only been doing this whole thing for 11 months...I'm 35 so I dunno....just felt like a crude (though no malice intended) comment coming from a casual work acquaintance.
When folk say "you look great/amazing/teeny/beautiful/gorgeous" (those are a few lovely ones I've had) then it's just sheer kindness. I know that having lost all this weight I am glowy, happy, smiley & the smallest I've ever been as an adult VS unhealthy, in pain, pasty, dark ringed eyes & doughy looking....no amount of nice clothing & makeup was fooling anyone, least of all me!
Folk taking time out of their day just to give someone else a wee compliment is the loveliest thing. I personally find compliments hard to take, always have, but I say thankyou & try not to add "ooh I've X amount to go, you're being too kind!" cos that part is on me. Say to myself...someone has just put themselves out there just to be kind to you - least you can do is acknowledge that Vonny!!
Commenting negatively on the way someone looked before instead of focusing on what they look like in the now is likely the difference. The phrase that comes to mind is "too soon", especially when in your head you're still "the fat girl". It's all part of a bigger picture that slots together but that doesn't mean we've completed the mental puzzle. The majority of it I think is for us, the "losers" to wrap our heads round.
But think most folk would agree that noone wants to be reminded of a time things weren't so hot for them - applies to everything in life, very noticeable weight loss shouldn't be excluded I don't reckon
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I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.15 -
The scale isn't always our friend, but it's a nice feeling when you steps on and see a new low!19
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I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous
here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
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Vonny198334 wrote: »I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
Share all you like. I loved your post. Great job! You look so good.12 -
That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.35 -
GOT_Obsessed wrote: »Vonny198334 wrote: »I agree completely! I have blunt people in my life that I “get” when they say things that they mean it in the best way but if it was from someone out of my circle I would feel the same way, I just hadn’t realized it until I started reading different posts on here and now I’m hoping I haven’t inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings!
Seeing other people’s weight loss journeys being so different has opened up my eyes on many things, some people love to have the weight loss noticed and commented on and others hate it. Some people are hurt that concern in thier weight from others are now is greater than when they were heavy and unhealthy and every feeling along the board is completely valid. I am just happy to have a better understanding now about all the differences to be able to relate and help support people in the future.
Absolutely & that's the most difficult part! Have said before here on the forums, folk cannot do right for doing wrong sometimes! You have some people who are really sad that noone has commented on their hard work & accomplishment due to weight loss while others wish everyone would just shut up entirely! Then you get the middling folk...
Don't think there's a happy one size fits all solution but...when is there?!
Was reading a thread on Reddit today about a bloke who had seen a large gentleman out running every morning for a fortnight. He'd been in the exact same position himself, so he wound down his car window & said "You are doing amazing work here buddy, it's awesome! Keep it up!" The guy running said: "How's about you mind your own damn business?" The dude in the car thought he was being kind, presumably he felt someone saying something like that when he was obese & out for a run would have made his day!
The mental side of it all is crazy. Only a couple of days ago I fit into a smaller sized pair of trousers. When that happens, I know I've about 6-8 weeks to go before I'm the same in jeans. This time round though, I hadn't noticed my trousers being baggy until I was constantly hoiking them up at work. So, that caught me off guard. It's been really hot here in the UK lately so I'd not really worn my size 14 jeans which I only bought in April. Put them on & they felt loose...
Yesterday I happened to pass the shop I buy my jeans from so I thought...let's see how far away I am. 10 mins later I was buying size 12 jeans. It's really thrown me through the loop. I've just been logging & excercising as usual, doing my thing...but I've not been scrutinising it all like usual due to having a big life event coming up.
I came home from the shop & looked at the photo I took for my lovely husband with a "well, this is a surprise!" look on my face & compared it to a picture from last year before I began. I even posted the fitting room photo in the NSV thread here because I couldn't actually believe it was me & in the past, throwing it out there helps me accept it better. Today though instead of feeling elated I feel really out of kilter...imagine it's because I took my eye off the "acceptance ball"
No wonder other folk can't do right for doing wrong haha! As I say, the majority of it is on me to deal with...and I will.
Sorry for the essay....I should really join OverSharers Anonymous here's the photo, hope noone minds me sharing, just my attempt to align current body with current mind!
Share all you like. I loved your post. Great job! You look so good.
Thankyou so much... intellectually I know exactly how it happened....mentally I'm like HOW?! WHEN?! I'll catch up eventually haha!dhiammarath wrote: »That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.
Wish I could give you an actual hug, been here myself.... undoubtedly will be again! To say it's a rollercoaster just doesn't cut the mustard sometimes, hey??
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@dhiammarath Your posts make me smile - not always because they are worded with humour (although they are) but because you also seem to hit where I am feeling a lot of the time. This morning I felt I was doing well - my jeans looked good (I thought) - no obvious lumps and bumps, tummy well tucked away for someone 62+, pretty good huh? A few pounds to go but - hey, what's a few lbs between friends. Now, after my walk, lunch (very light!) and a bit of work in the garden I feel as though I am busting out of my jeans - my tum looks HUGE and those last few pounds - well there's a least 10 of them and they don't seem to be going anywhere. As for the mirror - aren't going near it this afternoon. I would add that, to my husband I look no different this afternoon than I did this morning and he looks at me suspiciously when I ask him if my tummy looks big (the equivalent of 'does my bum look big in this?' in our house - no win situation). So, I guess all we can do is gird our loins, continue the good work of living healthily and enjoy those moments when we are feeling good. I look forward to the day when I can feel like I did this morning all day and every day - but I suspect it may never arrive.16
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dhiammarath wrote: »That you'll feel great when you hit the NSVs and the scale changes. That you'll feel awesome, say, rocking the leather jacket you worked hard to wear again.
But then later -- and it could be days or hours -- you'll catch sight of yourself in the reflection of a window or caught in the mirror and see the old you. Not see the progress, but what's left -- or what your brain thinks you have left -- and scold yourself, "How can I revel in success when I have SO FAR STILL TO GO."
I fight the strange elasticity in which I view myself, where I feel like I am different sizes depending on when I look in the mirror or see myself. Somedays, I feel great, like I can CONQUER THE WORLD. Other days I feel like a lump of gross and I ask myself if my pants fit because they actually fit or if they fit because my bum has stretched them out and so, therefore, the're not their real size (seriously, my mind can do some freakin' gymnastics in ways to make me feel awful). Most days I'm in the middle, where I acknowledge I still have work to do, but still feel pretty proud of the work I've done.
So much this! I feel proud of myself for how far I've come at times but other times want to chastise myself because I have so far to go still. I do still have a long, long way to go but it just amazes me how different emotions will hit me and make me see myself so differently. Even looking at the scale or putting on clothes that were tight before and are loose now, sometimes I think it is somehow a trick. It's amazing to me how much my mind can mess with me!
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