Less Alcohol- June 2018- One Day at a Time
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Good blog about going to holiday parties.
https://thesoberschool.com/survive-boozy-bbq/
I remember back in January, I told my daughter that I realized I can still have fun at parties without drinking. She said "Duh, of course you can." She's 17 years old. I know my brain chemistry has really changed since I was a teen. Alcohol has made a serious imprint in my chemistry. It will take some work to get it back to basics.
I wonder why I can have self control in some situations like I would NEVER drink before work or before driving my kids somewhere; there's no struggling there with my decision. I just wouldn't drink.
It's a fascinating journey, that's for sure. I am optimistic however.
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Ahhh the complexities of the brain
Dopamine
Another neurotransmitter alcohol affects is dopamine. The brain’s reward system consists of dopamine, which is released when we feel pleasure. Dopamine is released in excess by the consumption of alcohol. The pleasurable effects of alcohol are to be blamed on dopamine. However, because of dopamine, the brain considers alcohol use to be rewarding, and contributes to forming addiction.
Over time, high dopamine levels from alcohol can cause an inability to feel pleasure without alcohol. Other effects from high dopamine levels include aggression, depression, delusions, hallucinations, and muscle spasms.6 -
Hi Everyone,
My name is Megan and I have been up and down on my weight loss journey for the past 5-6 years (I am currently 28). I am 5'8" and was down to about 170 at my lowest and felt great-- I wouldn't mind sticking with that as an overall goal. I got up to 270.4 at my highest
. I started a 6 week challenge with awesome coaches, a provided nutrition plan, and fantastic workouts. In the first two weeks, I have lost 10.4 pounds so far. However, I am still really struggling with the drinking. I know that I will be feeling better and have much more success with the weight loss if I go AF, but my job is extremely stressful and unpredictable and I definitely use drinking as an outlet. I am obviously not supposed to be drinking as part of my nutrition plan, but I still find myself drinking 3-4 times per week. I know I missed out on June, but I really want to commit to an AF July. Just need some support on how to do it! 6 -
merickson1013 wrote: »Hi Everyone,
My name is Megan and I have been up and down on my weight loss journey for the past 5-6 years (I am currently 28). I am 5'8" and was down to about 170 at my lowest and felt great-- I wouldn't mind sticking with that as an overall goal. I got up to 270.4 at my highest. I started a 6 week challenge with awesome coaches, a provided nutrition plan, and fantastic workouts. In the first two weeks, I have lost 10.4 pounds so far. However, I am still really struggling with the drinking. I know that I will be feeling better and have much more success with the weight loss if I go AF, but my job is extremely stressful and unpredictable and I definitely use drinking as an outlet. I am obviously not supposed to be drinking as part of my nutrition plan, but I still find myself drinking 3-4 times per week. I know I missed out on June, but I really want to commit to an AF July. Just need some support on how to do it!
Hi Megan, We are here to help. We aren't experts just supportive people who want to have less alcohol in our systems, too. Anyway, very soon, the July link will be posted. And you will find a slew of places to go for support - @NovusDies has put together most of the resources we've been using to try to reduce/quit.
The first thing that popped up in my mind is for you to go to Annie Grace's site "This naked mind" author. She has a free one month program you may want to join. Then, you can view her videos each day- that will be a start for you.
Alcohol is sugar. It impacts our diet negatively. So, no matter how well you eat, it seems to cancel that out and you get a fat middle:)
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merickson1013 wrote: »Hi Everyone,
My name is Megan and I have been up and down on my weight loss journey for the past 5-6 years (I am currently 28). I am 5'8" and was down to about 170 at my lowest and felt great-- I wouldn't mind sticking with that as an overall goal. I got up to 270.4 at my highest. I started a 6 week challenge with awesome coaches, a provided nutrition plan, and fantastic workouts. In the first two weeks, I have lost 10.4 pounds so far. However, I am still really struggling with the drinking. I know that I will be feeling better and have much more success with the weight loss if I go AF, but my job is extremely stressful and unpredictable and I definitely use drinking as an outlet. I am obviously not supposed to be drinking as part of my nutrition plan, but I still find myself drinking 3-4 times per week. I know I missed out on June, but I really want to commit to an AF July. Just need some support on how to do it!
Welcome. Your journey sounds a lot like mine. I am down about 25 lbs since the end of December by cutting my drinking down to once a week and drinking a lot less on those days I allow it. No doubt I would be down even more if I didn’t drink at all. But I also fear if I didn’t allow for an occasional drink and earned meal that I may have gone off the tracks completely.
This group has been a big part of my journey in 2018. You won’t find negativity here, just support - whether you are sticking to your goals or had a slip up. These great folks will cheer you onto the right path. Don’t be scared to post anything here.
I hope you stick with us and get to know us. Personally, reading this thread and posting in it keeps me accountable.6 -
Hi I am Ken and this is some of my story I drank almost every day from the time I was 19 till I was over 60. I wanted to stop but when I thought of not drinking "forever" I could not imagine a day without it. If I was away for a weekend I made sure if I was coming back on sunday that I had bottles in the house, I am probably older than most of you and back then liquor stores were not open on sundays and I needed to be sure I had something to drink when I got home. Well good news bad news good news good news it didn't kill me bad news I hit 367 pounds and my BP was approaching 200/100 and I was in danger of stroking out good news May 22 2008 I stopped cold turkey at 60 the fear of dying was not the motivator but the fear of a stroke and sitting in a corner drooling on myself scared the cr*p out of me. I am now over 70 I have gone from how am I going to make it a day without having a drink to how did I ever live like that. The thought of drinking strikes me now as abnormal. I have had champagne 2x on news years eve some wine once in Aruba on Vacation and I toasted and drank wine at my daughters wedding and felt terrible the following morning, when I went out for my run.
I have lost over 170 pounds in the last 10 years I swim and run most every day. replacing the alcohol with fitness and health is the most liberating thing I have done in my life. I have gotten rid of my boundaries and restrictions, if something is 5 miles away no problem lets go.
I understand I am very fortunate that fear is a great motivator and I was able to just stop and slowly change my life and didn't struggle to much but in my opinion if you want to go AF its worth the effort
I don't know everything perhaps even anything but I am 10 years AF now and will try to support and talk to anyone who is interested
Good health and good fitness to all
Ken15 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »Good blog about going to holiday parties.
https://thesoberschool.com/survive-boozy-bbq/
I remember back in January, I told my daughter that I realized I can still have fun at parties without drinking. She said "Duh, of course you can." She's 17 years old. I know my brain chemistry has really changed since I was a teen. Alcohol has made a serious imprint in my chemistry. It will take some work to get it back to basics.
I wonder why I can have self control in some situations like I would NEVER drink before work or before driving my kids somewhere; there's no struggling there with my decision. I just wouldn't drink.
It's a fascinating journey, that's for sure. I am optimistic however.
That is one of the reasons I was so fascinated by the link you posted:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201505/the-neuroscience-making-decision
Which summarized to this:Mindful decision-making can derail compulsive or addictive patterns of behavior and take you down a path that's in your best interest for long-term health, happiness, and overall well-being.
This is what started me thinking about making my drinking decisions earlier than I realized. Whether instinctively or not you made the decision to be a responsible parent and educator. With that came a rule about drinking. That rule was and will always will be non-negotiable. You don't make that decision each day because it is never a question.
I don't know if you remember what happened in early May but I intended 1) to go all of May without hard liquor and 2) to skip drinking completely on my normal allowance day of May 6th. I failed both and in record time. At first I was so defeated but if you remember I perked up a few days later when I started thinking about myself then (and now) compared to last year. It was then I started realizing that I was lying to myself. Am I really weak sometimes and strong others or was it a lie? How can I have rules about drinking and actually have had rules about drinking even when I was doing it daily and not have some measure of control? So then the question is how much control do I have and that answer has been surprising me lately.3 -
@Ke22yB Thanks for sharing your story. It is very inspiring.
I have a couple of questions if you don't mind:
When you went cold turkey did you know you were doing it at that time or did it start out as a daily decision that just kept going?
How long did it take you to get from the desire to drink to thinking it was an abnormal thing to do?
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It started as a daily "chore" for the first few weeks but I soon found I was shedding water sometimes a pound or more a day as my body was adjusting the first 17 pounds I lost in a few weeks was mostly water weight. My BP started to drop as the fluid retention was being eliminated so I was celebrating some success that helped move it from a mindful chore to a decision and after a month or so it was becoming a lifestyle change as the realization that I was still going out to dinner seeing friends and being me and also remembering more of the evenings activity than before.
The desire was present for months maybe even the first year but it wasn't an overwhelming must do it, it became more of a " wouldn't it be nice if" kind of desire.
The thinking of it as abnormal thing to do was gradual as I detoxed I began to think of it as a toxic substance to avoid and truthfully being around some of my friends who continued to get " pounded" and watch them opened my eyes to how I used to behave which included my best friend who got home one night so far gone he stumbled into the house blacked out and landed on a glass coffee table which shattered under him fortunately he wasn't seriously hurt. His wife called me to come get him out of their house.5 -
@Ke22yB Thank you for sharing your story. I learn so much from others and I'll reread your posts a few times to let it digest. I dont think I've ever heard of anyone who says "I regret that I quit drinking." Which makes me think it's like a precious gift you give to yourself and family - not to depend on a toxic substance in good times and bad, and you feel terrific when you wake up each morning . Your family must have also benefitted in many ways. Please continue to post when you feel like it. You have an inspiring story. Xo4
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@NovusDies You make some good points. Xo
Quote below is from the psychology today blog; this seems like what you've been doing successfully this last few months.
The next time that you need to make a decision, take a few deep breaths and think about the the pros and cons of your next move in a pragmatic and mindful way. Then, do the right thing for your well-being.
Using mindfulness could give various regions of your striatum and prefrontal cortex time to relay the true "neuroeconomic" costs of a decision and help you make smarter choices. Mindful decision-making can derail compulsive or addictive patterns of behavior and take you down a path that's in your best interest for long-term health, happiness, and overall well-being.
And clearly this can also help with our eating habits and fitness goals.3 -
I want to share something that has occurred for me the last 2 days. This is not advice, just an observation about myself. I realize it might sound Loony Tunes to some people. This came after I read "Kick the Drink," which I'm re-reading slowly now. I intentionally had some alcohol on Tuesday because the author advised continuing your usual pattern until completely finishing the book (I'm so obliging!). I did finish the book Tuesday. Yesterday and today, I have had no alcohol, and the weird thing is that I haven't wanted any. That's a shift for me. What has caused this, I think, is a concept in that book. I found myself both days thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have to drink." Usually I think, "I'm so glad I'm managing not to drink today. I hope I can do it again tomorrow." The metaphor of being released from prison really resonated with me. Who gets out of prison and thinks, "I'm so glad I haven't returned to that prison today. I hope I can avoid going back in tomorrow"? Instead, it's, "I'm so glad I don't have to go back there any more."
I think this helps me because it has gotten to the point where drinking feels like a prison to me, not like a treat and certainly not like a joy. Usually, I think, "Whew, Day 1 is over. Here's to Day 2." Today, I had lunch with a friend and she said, "You deserve a drink since your job fell through" (Note: I haven't shared that my job that hadn't started yet is now not happening--so I'm job-hunting again). Instead of being tempted, I thought, "Whew, I'm glad I don't have to go back there again," and I ordered a delicious hibiscus tea.
Again, this may sound goofy to everybody else, but it's really making me feel good. I don't think of this as "Day 2 and counting." I just feel good not to feel hungover, stressed, conflicted, nauseated, and deprived (of that poison that makes me so unhappy).
@Ke22yB, welcome, and thank you for sharing your story. Very inspiring. I'm 62, so older than most here. It's pretty exciting to think that in 10 years I can feel great with a decade of AF, healthy living behind me.9 -
I want to share something that has occurred for me the last 2 days. This is not advice, just an observation about myself. I realize it might sound Loony Tunes to some people. This came after I read "Kick the Drink," which I'm re-reading slowly now. I intentionally had some alcohol on Tuesday because the author advised continuing your usual pattern until completely finishing the book (I'm so obliging!). I did finish the book Tuesday. Yesterday and today, I have had no alcohol, and the weird thing is that I haven't wanted any. That's a shift for me. What has caused this, I think, is a concept in that book. I found myself both days thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have to drink." Usually I think, "I'm so glad I'm managing not to drink today. I hope I can do it again tomorrow." The metaphor of being released from prison really resonated with me. Who gets out of prison and thinks, "I'm so glad I haven't returned to that prison today. I hope I can avoid going back in tomorrow"? Instead, it's, "I'm so glad I don't have to go back there any more."
I think this helps me because it has gotten to the point where drinking feels like a prison to me, not like a treat and certainly not like a joy. Usually, I think, "Whew, Day 1 is over. Here's to Day 2." Today, I had lunch with a friend and she said, "You deserve a drink since your job fell through" (Note: I haven't shared that my job that hadn't started yet is now not happening--so I'm job-hunting again). Instead of being tempted, I thought, "Whew, I'm glad I don't have to go back there again," and I ordered a delicious hibiscus tea.
Again, this may sound goofy to everybody else, but it's really making me feel good. I don't think of this as "Day 2 and counting." I just feel good not to feel hungover, stressed, conflicted, nauseated, and deprived (of that poison that makes me so unhappy).
@Ke22yB, welcome, and thank you for sharing your story. Very inspiring. I'm 62, so older than most here. It's pretty exciting to think that in 10 years I can feel great with a decade of AF, healthy living behind me.
I really like that.... I don’t have to drink. Way to go! Be proud of yourself
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@donimfp That sucks about your job falling through. I hope you find something else soon that you love.
I haven't actually shared the details of my story over the last 50ish days because it sounds a bit ridiculous and unbelievable. I have to ask if the book you read offer any explanation for how you can lose the thirst like that?2 -
Yes. To me Jason Vale’s reasoning makes a lot of sense, but one of his big deals is to read the entire book before deciding how you feel about his ideas. So I won’t attempt to summarize. I read the book at the suggestion of a post-er here. It clicked for me the same way Annie Grace does. He goes a bit further I think. Again, I only read it Tuesday and am re-reading, and I can only say how it’s affected me so far. For me, the shift from feeling deprived to feeling freed is significant.5
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merickson1013 wrote: »Hi Everyone,
My name is Megan and I have been up and down on my weight loss journey for the past 5-6 years (I am currently 28). I am 5'8" and was down to about 170 at my lowest and felt great-- I wouldn't mind sticking with that as an overall goal. I got up to 270.4 at my highest. I started a 6 week challenge with awesome coaches, a provided nutrition plan, and fantastic workouts. In the first two weeks, I have lost 10.4 pounds so far. However, I am still really struggling with the drinking. I know that I will be feeling better and have much more success with the weight loss if I go AF, but my job is extremely stressful and unpredictable and I definitely use drinking as an outlet. I am obviously not supposed to be drinking as part of my nutrition plan, but I still find myself drinking 3-4 times per week. I know I missed out on June, but I really want to commit to an AF July. Just need some support on how to do it!
Welcome to the club2 -
Day 4 - was hard but drinking ice cold tonic water helped6
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Hi Megan & Ken...Welcome & Welcome!!! Long weekend starts tomorrow for those of us in Canada. Hoping whoever this applies to has a good weekend with no regrets!
Sounds like everyone is doing well & thank you for all the tidbits of info...it is all very helpful. We have a really good group here...
I've been doing some work on mindfulness through a meditation CD a former therapist gave me. I've been consistently meditating for a couple of weeks now & realize that time will tell how it benefits me. I think the key is consistency. Does anyone have any personal experience to relate showing the benefits of mindfulness training?2 -
@donimfp Thank you for sharing your thoughts on that book. I once posted a quote on here about "habits are the only prison where the locks are on the inside. When we are ready we simply stand up and open the door and walk out to freedom." I love this image.6
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