Ask a real woman...

123578

Replies

  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
    And what is with all the wine women drink. Bleck!

    Yep.. Im with you.. however a good whiskey is another story.. :)
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,557 Member
    I dunno if you are single or not but if not what do you prefer, do you want to be approached? Do you give signals to men (or women[sorry for assuming]) to indicate your interest? How do you know or let someone know you’re interested?
  • bojack5
    bojack5 Posts: 2,859 Member
    gz2jiaxdi28r.jpeg

    A real women takes vitamins obviously!

    Actually there is no scientific studies that vitamins have any health benefit whatsoever.....aside from depleting your cash so you cannot use that same money for ice cream ;)
  • LiftingRiot
    LiftingRiot Posts: 6,952 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?

    That chart is all wrong.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    53lcc8up7ott.jpg

    How accurate is this chart?

    Relatively. ;)

    Here's the video that started it..

    https://youtu.be/incSwssUyp4

    Haha ive seen this. Im a 6,6.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Alright, say you live in a haunted plantation with hardwood floors and a vineyard and bats in your chimney. Would you greet the exterminators in Christian Louboutin Stilettos or dress more casually, say, in Christian Louboutin mesh flats? And since you're a sugar addict, would you provide a tray of pecan sandies to the workmen? Also, I've heard bats are attracted to sugar and maybe that's why you have this bat problem to begin with, it's a secondary side effect of sugar addiction. Or is that just sugar glider bats?

    From just such a woman:

    “The answer is a pair of rainbows flip flops because I only get tarted up when selfies are involved. The workers were a few minutes late so I ate all the pecan sandies while I waited but would still offer sweet tea. I’ve heard of sugar gliders and I’ve obviously heard of bats but I’ve never heard of sugar glider bats.”

    I think they're from overseas but I've heard they've imported pythons and set them free in the deep south to frolic in the swamplands so stranger things can happen. She's quite a gal. I can picture her now with a tray of sweet tea and rainbow flip flops with a fresh pedicure.

    Don’t make me get a pic of said pedicure
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Vintage ads like that make me laugh - I saw one once that was a Christmas advert and it said something like, "buy her the gift you can BOTH appreciate" and it was for a damn vacuum :D

    This one?
    uyh4xuycalmz.jpg

    A real man who wanted his wife to have more leisure would give her a maid.
  • CaptainFantastic01
    CaptainFantastic01 Posts: 9,557 Member
    Love your stories but someone answer my question sheesh
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    So, say you want to break into the stock trading business so you move to NYC. You agree to work as the receptionist to get your foot in the door and spend your days answering urgent phone calls, smiling pleasantly and making sure the coffee pot in the breakroom always has fresh brew in it.

    One day a dashing young man from the firm sidles up to you with sweet and intellectually astute observations, which are actually veiled flirtations. He always wears a fashionable bow tie around his collar. His shoes are purchased at boutiques. His socks are always brand name and made of breathable fabric. He's a devout Catholic and politically active in various charitable causes.

    He lures you in with the promise of buying you a cozy house in a commuter town in Connecticut. He assures you you can continue to pursue your career after marriage and motherhood to assert your independence as a woman. And you don't have to convert.

    But he prefers a fuller figure and encourages you to eat pancakes with butter and syrup, pizza with meaty toppings, fruit punch and sweet custard filled pastries. He's facilitating your sugar addiction and sabotaging your fitness goals, but he adores you and worships the ground you walk on.

    Now, you're a sugar addict and it's going unacknowledged and you're conflicted, you're torn. Do you go with his suggestions or start a complaint thread about him on MFP?

    Why didn't the dashing young stock trader go after the pretty , overweight executive secretary who works for one of the VPs of the firm. She loves pancakes with fruit topping , cannoli's & cheese cake. added bonus- She has a real good job & a high income so they could get an even nicer house in Conn. or the Hamptons
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,708 MFP Moderator
    Yikes, this thread has moved on by a lot since I last logged in. Back shortly with some real replies. :)
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,708 MFP Moderator
    Ok, first batch:
    How do you get a man to draw a bath for you?

    As someone else said, ask. If not, surely the promise of seeing you naked is enough to inspire him? Also reciprocate once in a while and offer him a bath.
    kam26001 wrote: »
    Cleopatra or Joan of Arc?

    Joan of Arc. Cleopatra expected everyone to wait on her hand and foot and didn't know a day of hard work in her life. I can't relate to that.
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Say you hadn't had sugar in 48 hours other than that lame sugar in fruit and vegetables. And you saw some unattended cream puffs in a garage that no one would even miss and you were sure there were no security cameras filming you. Would you take a few?

    And since we're on the subject and you're a sugar addict, what's the worst thing you would do for a cream puff if you really really wanted one?

    I'm not talking kreme puffs or crème puffs either, okay. I'm talking cream puffs.

    I was going to say this is an impossible scenario, because I never go 48 hours without sugar. But I had the flu last weekend and I didn't eat any sugar that I can recall. So...tell me more about these cream puffs. I assume you mean profiteroles. Are they drizzeld in dark chocolate or plain? And why are they in the garage? That's a trap, just like I posted above to mr underpants.

    How accurate is this chart?

    It is funny, but you don't have to be 8-10 hot to be wife material, imo. You also don't have to be that low on the crazy scale. The world is full of crazy people, and all you have to do is find the person that's your kind of crazy.
    2VORNT2V wrote: »
    My crush is a real woman. Why won’t she message me back. I sent her about tree fiddy messages

    tree fiddy sounds like tree forty eight too many messages. You prolly used up all her data and she can't reply until next month.
    bhadbahabi wrote: »
    How do I become a real woman? I'm currently only a mere wooden puppet possessed with a human soul.

    I forget the story. How did Pinocchio become a real boy? Or did he? If he did, try that but the female version.


  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,708 MFP Moderator
    edited June 2018
    Every thread is a bad idea. :ohwell: There are levels of bad, however. A mod creating a copycat thread (for which thing users have been banned) seems like a gruesome abuse of power and a foray into the murky depths of hypocrisy. Basically...have you no shame? :flowerforyou:

    Wait, since when am I the original? Who decided this? I'm old, but I'm not pretty enough to be the irresistible first man, either.

    Copycat threads on their own aren't necessarily bad or against the rules. In very generic terms, if a copycat mimics a thread that was deleted for violating the rules, that's probably not going to go well. Also remember that users don't get banned for dupe threads. They get banned for breaking the rules repeatedly. Nope, I have no shame and I have double-standards sometimes because I can. I'm a real woman after all. :smiley:

    I got the impression from all the tags you get in chit-chat that you ARE the original irresistible first man. At the very least you're the picture in the urban dictionary next to the phrase "aging like fine wine".

    @leut_underpants
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    ecjim wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    So, say you want to break into the stock trading business so you move to NYC. You agree to work as the receptionist to get your foot in the door and spend your days answering urgent phone calls, smiling pleasantly and making sure the coffee pot in the breakroom always has fresh brew in it.

    One day a dashing young man from the firm sidles up to you with sweet and intellectually astute observations, which are actually veiled flirtations. He always wears a fashionable bow tie around his collar. His shoes are purchased at boutiques. His socks are always brand name and made of breathable fabric. He's a devout Catholic and politically active in various charitable causes.

    He lures you in with the promise of buying you a cozy house in a commuter town in Connecticut. He assures you you can continue to pursue your career after marriage and motherhood to assert your independence as a woman. And you don't have to convert.

    But he prefers a fuller figure and encourages you to eat pancakes with butter and syrup, pizza with meaty toppings, fruit punch and sweet custard filled pastries. He's facilitating your sugar addiction and sabotaging your fitness goals, but he adores you and worships the ground you walk on.

    Now, you're a sugar addict and it's going unacknowledged and you're conflicted, you're torn. Do you go with his suggestions or start a complaint thread about him on MFP?

    Why didn't the dashing young stock trader go after the pretty , overweight executive secretary who works for one of the VPs of the firm. She loves pancakes with fruit topping , cannoli's & cheese cake. added bonus- She has a real good job & a high income so they could get an even nicer house in Conn. or the Hamptons

    She voted for Rubio.

    You mean Marco? How did she do that he is a Fla senator & they are in NY. or are you talking about the Presidential Primary?
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    or was it absentee ballots
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,708 MFP Moderator
    edited June 2018
    I dunno if you are single or not but if not what do you prefer, do you want to be approached? Do you give signals to men (or women[sorry for assuming]) to indicate your interest? How do you know or let someone know you’re interested?

    I haven't been single for a long time, so I'll answer from my pre-married days. I preferred a mix of both. It was nice to have a guy express interest in a non-creepy way. It was also nice to be able to express my interest without coming across as desperate. I suppose it's a fine line for both and these days I'd be pretty intimidated to go back into the dating pool. Just be you and don't try to be what you're not. @CaptainFantastic01

    bojack5 wrote: »
    gz2jiaxdi28r.jpeg

    A real women takes vitamins obviously!

    Actually there is no scientific studies that vitamins have any health benefit whatsoever.....aside from depleting your cash so you cannot use that same money for ice cream ;)

    I take a daily multi but I also make sure ice cream fits in the budget. ;)
    newmeadow wrote: »
    [snip - weird scenario 1] Would you greet the exterminators in Christian Louboutin Stilettos or dress more casually, say, in Christian Louboutin mesh flats? And since you're a sugar addict, would you provide a tray of pecan sandies to the workmen? Also, I've heard bats are attracted to sugar and maybe that's why you have this bat problem to begin with, it's a secondary side effect of sugar addiction. Or is that just sugar glider bats?

    I don't own any Louboutins, so neither heels nor flats. And I don't wear shoes in the house. Old wood floors, you see. ;) No, the pecan sandies are mine. Are the workers hot? I could go with Ms Louboutin's offer of sweet tea. A lot of bats like fruits, not necessarily sugar cubes. Bats like me because I'm not afraid of them. I wouldn't say I have a bat problem. Sugar gliders aren't bats. They are marsupials. Tiny, super cute ones.
    newmeadow wrote: »
    [snip - weird scenario 2]But as a sugar addict, is it true that sugar produces inflammation, hence making tattoos more painful to receive during the injection process?
    Bias against people with tattoos is a thing. I don't have any, but I've seen the looks some of my friends get. As for inflammation, who knows. Some people are more sensitive to sugar than others. Some people are more sensitive to needles than others. Let's hear some anecdotes from our inked friends - load up on chocolate and skittles before a tattoo, or go for Doritos instead?
  • ecjim
    ecjim Posts: 1,001 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Sugar addict - what if you were a Hong Kong ex pat renting a flat in Shepherd's Bush. You're a full time student with unlimited credit card privileges and your family is wealthy. Very wealthy. You enjoy beagles and a ménage of Dolce Gabbana finery. You're inexplicably attracted to a Polish construction worker with limited finances and less than rudimentary English skills. So you buy him an Oyster Card, move him into your flat and accept a marriage proposal.

    How do you make him understand you're a sugar addict without alienating him or causing him to laugh at you?

    A guy can answer that one - The Polish construction worker is fresh off the boat, speaks little English and is working hard for a low wage. He is smitten with the Hong Kong girl and the fact that she is interested in a poor boy like him. It does not hurt that she has a luxurious and high limit credit cards that Daddy pays.
    As to the sugar addiction - his mom is a great cook and makes delicious chruscki, and the little Hong Kong girl loves them, so everyone is happy.
  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,708 MFP Moderator
    A real man who wanted his wife to have more leisure would give her a maid.

    Does that mean the maid is not a real woman?
    newmeadow wrote: »
    [snip - weird scenario 3]Now, you're a sugar addict and it's going unacknowledged and you're conflicted, you're torn. Do you go with his suggestions or start a complaint thread about him on MFP?

    Complaint thread on MFP, of course. But please pass the syrup while I read the replies and suggestions on how to fix this problem, thanks. :flowerforyou:
    ecjim wrote: »
    Why didn't the dashing young stock trader go after the pretty , overweight executive secretary who works for one of the VPs of the firm. She loves pancakes with fruit topping , cannoli's & cheese cake. added bonus- She has a real good job & a high income so they could get an even nicer house in Conn. or the Hamptons

    MFP mods have a certain allure that even executive secretaries who eat cannolis can't always overcome. Ask @4legsRbetterthan2 .
    newmeadow wrote: »
    [snip - weird scenario 4]How do you make him understand you're a sugar addict without alienating him or causing him to laugh at you?

    I'm reasonably sure that stuffing my face with pancakes, syrup, pecan sandies, profiteroles, cannolis, cheese cake etc. will get the message across. :) What else do you suggest?

    @newmeadow you have quite the imagination!
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator

    MFP mods have a certain allure that even executive secretaries who eat cannolis can't always overcome. Ask @4legsRbetterthan2 .

    Im an evil old hag w a hairlip and warty nose. No appeal here.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    I can’t quit giggling at all the absurdly specific scenarios