What's with the diet shaming?



  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,946 Member
    edited July 2018
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    This thread started with people in real life and turned into slamming other MFP members. Very disappointing.

    It went from complaining about woo peddling at the workplace to defending woo peddling on MFP. Really sad.

    Some folks just have a persecution complex and need to call the expression of other rational points of view "people being mean" and then look to pick arguments and derail threads. It happens frequently when someone has an axe to grind.

    As for the original topic, I think it happens to most people who discuss their diet and weight loss publically. Personally, I choose not to and those that volunteer unsolicited advice to me get enough of a frosty reception that they don't usually try a second time.
  • nvmomketo
    nvmomketo Posts: 12,020 Member
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    nvmomketo wrote: »
    I might be late to this conversation but.... I recently have had some Mfp folks do some “diet shaming” and the New York in me wanted to check the heck outta them and then I thought that most people say and do things that they feel they have control over-the particular person that spoke out of turn about my choice to go heavy vegetable eating for a few days to just help my tummy and intestinal issues felt the need to say that I am following a “quack”. I mean really? Could this just be a keyboard bully that feels that she has control over other’s choices? I don’t know-I think I might block her later on today.
    I am happy to be around positive happy people that are doing them in this struggle-I am proud of you.

    Girl, you are not the only one! I almost stopped posting here after I was made to feel like garbage on the first thread I posted asking for help. I was either gonna leave, or snap on someone and get myself banned so I chose to take the high road and just let the whole thread die. Thankfully, I have found a lot of really nice people on here that prove that those types of people are not the majority. Feel free to add me! We can motivate each other with out being a holes.

    I think some people just aren't aware how brashly they come off... At least I hope they are unaware. ;) I don't think they realize that saying,

    "I disagree with your approach because of a, b, c."

    Might be more effective than,

    " What a bunch of woo. The So-and-so approach won't be magic. Mr Diet is just peddling the next scam to the mindless masses. All you need to do is a, b, c. Period."

    Some believe they need (what I see as rude or brash) bluntness to get through to every body. It works for some. Some, like me, find it distracting and unpleasant. After a time, you'll discover what posts to skip, and what members to block. ;) Just like in real life - there are people and situations I avoid there too.... I do find diet shaming much more common on MFPand other places on the web than I do in real life. People in my life may discuss diet with interest or concern. And tact. The people on the webz don't care for you the same, or at all. JMO
    100% agree with everything you have said. Honestly, for the most part, I have been met with nothing but niceness irl about my diet. I do Welcome tips from other people. That doesn’t bother me, I think all of it has been constructive. I have never had a moment where I thought someone was talking down the way I was doing it etc. but people do get much more bold behind the safety of a screen. However, I really do hope that they don’t realize they are being hurtful, and that it’s not intentional.

    I think most are good intentioned. Most. Some will somehow make their advice feel like a personal veiled attack. If it is starting to feel like a purposeful attack, you can use the flag button report trolling or even abuse if it is very blatant.

    The boards actually are a bit friendlier than they used to be due to reporting (sometimes that's what it takes for people to realize they are being hurtful) and some getting banned from the site entirely. The block feature can simplify things if there are some people's post which you'd rather avoid.

    I find looking into the groups is a helpful way to find support on less mainstream topics too. The equivalent of discussing duet with only certain people in real life. ;)

    I implemented the ignore button for a while some time ago. I kept clicking on the posts anyway, so it doesn't work for nosy people. :laugh:

    I've done that too. LOL
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,073 Member
    There is a post at the top of this section right now about 2 shakes plus a normal meal. I haven't looked yet, but i suspect that poster will hear that a method that millions have lost weight with (and some kept it off by changing their habits once they reached goal; never worked for me) just plain doesn't work instead of reasons why mfp has proved more beneficial for many of us.

    Not so much. Saw the post. Gentleman is obese and is doing well. Eating at least 1500 calories a day, sedentary due to medical conditions. He's just beginning his journey. He was concerned with his rate of loss, and was informed that quick loss when starting out very heavy is normal (his starting weight was well over 400lbs), and advised that the rate will slow down as he continues to lose.
  • AlabasterVerve
    AlabasterVerve Posts: 3,171 Member
    rgg71 wrote: »
    Interesting reading the posts above, I generally find most people demonise fat over carbs, and the shops are full of 'low fat' options.

    It's probably a matter or perspective but I agree fat is absolutely still the nutrient of concern - or more specifically meat. A quick read through of the dietary guidelines is peppered full of nonsense:
    "When selecting protein foods, nuts and seeds should be unsalted, and meats and poultry should be consumed in lean forms."

    "Healthy eating patterns include fat-free and low-fat (1%) dairy, including milk, yogurt, cheese, or fortified soy beverages (commonly known as “soymilk”)."

    "The Key Recommendation from the 2010 Dietary Guidelines to limit consumption of dietary cholesterol to 300 mg per day is not included in the 2015 edition, but this change does not suggest that dietary cholesterol is no longer important to consider when building healthy eating patterns. As recommended by the IOM,[24] individuals should eat as little dietary cholesterol as possible while consuming a healthy eating pattern."

    "Some individuals, especially teen boys and adult men, also need to reduce overall intake of protein foods (see Figure 2-3) by decreasing intakes of meats, poultry, and eggs and increasing amounts of vegetables or other underconsumed food groups."

    "Strategies to shift intake include using vegetable oil in place of solid fats (butter, stick margarine, shortening, lard, coconut oil) when cooking, increasing the intake of foods that naturally contain oils, such as seafood and nuts, in place of some meat and poultry."

    "One realistic option is to change ingredients in mixed dishes to increase the amounts of vegetables, whole grains, lean meat, and low-fat or fat-free cheese, in place of some of the fatty meat and/or regular cheese in the dish."

  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,258 Member
    For other Brits/UK. The Food Programme broadcast 1/7/18 soon after noon and re broadcast yesterday at 16-00, radio 4, was asking about the chances of "changing the balance of the official diet plate". It made for some interesting listening. This followed on from a programme earlier this year which highlighted Medical students, it may have started at Warwick, they were wanting to know more about nutrition and its impact on health, the movement was said to be spreading to other medical schools.

    So much dietary advice over here has not moved with science since the 1970's, prioritises low fat (when an amount of "fat" is needed to make hormones) and it makes no differentiation between simple and complex carbs, simple which are consumed and absorbed quickly and complex which take longer to absorb and often contain fibre. (There should be a question over the benefit of bottled cooking oils too, some at a not so high heat cause worse health problems than the animal fats they replace. me)

    I took a look at the dietary advice for diabetics and what a mine field, the glycaemic index of raw as against cooked carrot for example is vastly different its been discovered, something to do with heating and changed water content. Even a slice of bread will differ if it is fresh, dry or toasted, this is before you get to how finely ground the flour is! Nothing is simple.

    The science of weight gain and the need for weight loss is not well understood, the question posed by the programme was could part of our populations increased weight over 40 years, be hinge to the kind of diet we are supposed to emulate from those official advice dietary plates.

    In the programme I heard how some hospitals are changeing the foods they are providing for staff to buy. I've not been into the more local hospitals lately but when I did the easiest food to grab was the chocolate bar or similar treat to get one past the hunger when one did not have time to eat properly when at work. It was also questioned, how sensible is it to have fast food franchises in entrances to our larger hospitals, (normalising treats, me) True they pay rent to go towards hospital expenses but don't their products contribute to many health ills we are fighting? I wish I could remember the name of the hospital key to this part of the programme, they have made it easier to find more health food in their shop, changed the constituents of their meals, even encouraged the little caffee to provide, more healthy options. I wonder how long this concept will take to travel and if it will be permitted to travel by food producers.

    Like the person said, to loose weight they ate smaller portions of what they have always eaten. There are some of us who find we react to differnt foods because we are allergic or intolerant of them, to those affected, a real problem. Beyond this our relationship with food, how our bodies work with the foods we give them is a personal thing, our only option is to do what is right for us. Knowing what we are actually eating and the role it plays in our dietary requirements particularly after things start to go wrong is helpful. What works for you is right, for you. One day there may be a consensus of what is good only we are not there, yet.

    Good fortune all and hold heads up high, all that really works.
  • sytchequeen
    sytchequeen Posts: 526 Member
    When people have asked me what I've done I just say "oh, I cut out bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes". Some follow that up with a horrified "oh my god, what do you eat?!?"
    I then start listing foods until they glaze over and lose the will to live.
  • OHammykins
    OHammykins Posts: 98 Member
    @stlbluefansarah Great job and well done :-) Keep up the good work!

    In my friend group, we're all actively trying to loose weight and get fit and healthy at the moment. We're all doing different types of exercises and eating different foods but that doesn't stop up showering compliments and giving pats on the back (especially if we feel someone is having a bad day/week and needs extra encouragement).

    Of course, as with all groups of people, there's one who thinks it's a competition and likes to critique what the others are doing because he thinks his is the only correct way... It can be annoying at times but it's easier to deal with when we see we're having better success than he is ;-)
  • horrorghoul
    horrorghoul Posts: 59 Member
    edited July 2018
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I dont know why some people do that. Lately, I have had several different people suggest I go either keto or vegan. No thanks!!!

    @nooshi713 I'm vegan and over weight. I love when people assume that vegan is this miracle weight-loss. Tell them there's fat vegans lol.
  • OHammykins
    OHammykins Posts: 98 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    In quite a few threads here, I consider vegetarianism to count as a fad diet, even though I've been vegetarian for 44 years. If something is a named way of eating, is trendy in certain social circles, is advocated by evangelical blogs/IGers, and is spoken of as something that has magical powers beyond reason, it's - in the relevant context - a "fad diet".

    I've got nothing against low carb/keto, vegan, paleo, IF, or anything else that allows for decent nutrition as per reasonable scientific research, if it helps someone eat happily and achieve their goals. I have nothing against people describing what any of those have done for them, personally. Using bad science to do that advocacy, or claiming the "special" diet is essential for all - that's fair game for criticizing the ideas.

    I try to talk people out of vegetarianism, if they think it's a magical weight loss method, when they have no ethical reasons to go that route. There's a difference between happily following a way of eating, and believing any given rationale for that way of eating. It's possible to support people in the former, and argue with the latter. Sometimes it's even necessary, IMO (because of other readers, if nothing else).

    Edited: missing word.

    I completely agree!! I've veggie to and it's a little irking when people tell me they want to go vegetarian/vegan to lose weight. There's so much to it than that! I do try to encourage them though, I feel every little helps and they might decide they prefer it! I know more than a few people who went veggie to lose weight initially but they more they looked into it they became more interested in the bigger picture and stuck with it, even if they weight loss wasn't successful.
  • crabbybrianna
    crabbybrianna Posts: 344 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I dont know why some people do that. Lately, I have had several different people suggest I go either keto or vegan. No thanks!!!

    @nooshi713 I'm vegan and over weight. I love when people assume that vegan is this miracle weight-loss. Tell them there's fat vegans lol.

    Absolutely. I was a very fat vegan, lol! Actually reached my highest weight ever as a vegan.
  • xfc1
    xfc1 Posts: 69 Member
    Lost 65+ pounds, now 3+ months into maintenance and still have people telling me that what I did won't work.

    Congratulations on reaching goal weight.
  • ThereAreManyNames
    ThereAreManyNames Posts: 54 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    I dont know why some people do that. Lately, I have had several different people suggest I go either keto or vegan. No thanks!!!

    @nooshi713 I'm vegan and over weight. I love when people assume that vegan is this miracle weight-loss. Tell them there's fat vegans lol.

    I've known a couple people go vegan or vegetarian and actually gain weight because they see that as an excuse to live on french fries and vegan meat substitutes instead of eating any of those, you know, vegetables.