What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
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He kept telling me that I looked just like his ex, so maybe it was another basis for comparison. Or, based on the ex being a redhead too and the rumors, it may have been more for him than me. Either way, I passed on seeing him again.0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
So sick of this....ugh...Stop being attracted to my attractiveness!!1 -
Well, you know. Cats. Boxes. Schrödinger. Can't help myself.
(top 10 nerdiest references in MFP history. Just saying.)0 -
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Nice. (inserts joke [lol inserts] about cherries lost and boxes they came in.)1
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
😒0 -
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.4 -
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When they start sending out feelers about your finances....God I hate that sinking feeling when you realize someone is corrupting their personal relationship decision make process with money...
Maybe they want to make sure the person is not a bum. Wanting someone responsible who pays their bills does not a gold digger make.
If people get more serious then a discussion about finances will come up.3 -
If they expect to have sex too soon. Nope.2
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They opened their mouth and words came out. Ruined a perfectly good infatuation!7
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...2 -
Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!2 -
PangPangPrincess109 wrote: »Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!
Either a sign to run or a sign of fate. You rolls your dice and you takes your chances.
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Well actually it was a guy pursuing me and I was totally into him until he started speaking like a hood rat.1
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SurfyPantsAgainAgain wrote: »Bad kissing though..that shiz can be fixed with practice, lots of practice and patience.
I do love to practice.
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Wife found out.6
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Wife found out.
Winner winner chicken dinner!0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
You don't wait until you are so deep with someone that you are planning marriage before you determine what kind of life you might envision with someone.
And here's a heads up. In sickness and in health means that your woman might be "fully functioning," and then get pregnant. Or sick. And you might have to take care of her. So keep that in mind when you think you only have to take care of yourself in this world.
Rare is the person who is coupled with someone that feels responsible for only themselves. Often they aren't taking care of just themself or the other person, but often kids and parents AND others.
You know, like people who care about things like making a difference in this world and leaving a legacy.
Are you also the kind of guy who splits the check?
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PangPangPrincess109 wrote: »Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!
Yeah, you definitely had to get out of there. He wanted exactly the same things you wanted in life.0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
Grow up.7 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
We'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
You don't wait until you are so deep with someone that you are planning marriage before you determine what kind of life you might envision with someone.
And here's a heads up. In sickness and in health means that your woman might be "fully functioning," and then get pregnant. Or sick. And you might have to take care of her. So keep that in mind when you think you only have to take care of yourself in this world.
Rare is the person who is coupled with someone that feels responsible for only themselves. Often they aren't taking care of just themself or the other person, but often kids and parents AND others.
You know, like people who care about things like making a difference in this world and leaving a legacy.
Are you also the kind of guy who splits the check?
I agree...
I take care of myself and my daughter. But I don't want to get involved with someone who doesn't know how to pay bills on time, or has bad credit, or has a mountain of loans/debt that he isn't sure how he will pay off. I am not going to be his mama and remind him. I want a partner. Shared responsibilities, shared accounts. And yes, we would most likely be taking care of each other and possibly other family members. That happens when a relationship progresses into a marriage.
I don't want to wait till I am emotionally involved with someone, before finding this stuff out. Especially now that I have a child. If it was just me, it might be a different story. But all my decisions will affect her. And I want to make sure that I can offer her as much stability as possible. That includes finances.
This doesn't mean that I will start asking about credit scores and finances upon meeting someone..... But it will come up within the first 5 dates, to be sure.4 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »Well actually it was a guy pursuing me and I was totally into him until he started speaking like a hood rat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3BfJwuZ2zE 0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Yes. The basic need for people to be attracted to one another is equivalent to shallow, trashy, gold digging. Seriously?
Some would consider paying bills more important than basic attraction. Many people through many centuries in many countries have arranged marriages based solely on "shallow, trashy, PROVIDING."
Just a thought. That the women you are talking about might not be as shallow as you think, but are rather being practical.
The notion that women are somehow so incapable of taking care of themselves that they would expect or even need to be "provided for" in the old school sexist sense is pretty offensive in the 21st century. At least in the developed, liberated West. I'll not speak about situations in other places or times.
You're offended by a woman talking about matters affecting women?. . Well, thank goodness you're here to take care of all these misguided women. . (ironic). .In the relationship sense, I'd be looking for a partner, not a dependent. I work to support myself...which is about as basic as it gets. That's all I expect of anyone. As long as they are a functioning adult who can take care of themselves, I really don't care how much or how little they make.
So. . you're saying that their personal finances matter b/c you don't want someone sponging off of you . .(ironic).When it comes to marriage, on the other hand, (which presumably happens much later on)...that is when it's necessary to discuss credit scores, debt, etc. But even then, remember: "For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....." (I know, right? Wedding vows. Solemn oaths sworn in front of everyone you know, usually including whatever your religious figure is. How quaint!)
You quote the traditional wedding vows to make your simplistic point. . . even though you clearly think wedding vows and religion in general are stupid.I honestly can't think of a situation where a relationship is properly based in money. Well, I can, but those are the sorts of interactions that can land you in jail...
You take ownership of what is and is not "proper" . . as if your worldview is correct and everyone else is wrong. .
This whole thing is high-handed, condescending, and naive.
You're still in college aren't you?
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »PangPangPrincess109 wrote: »Our first dinner together. Everything is going fine. Then out of the blue he states, "We will have five children". I nearly spit out my drink.
Funnily enough, five is the perfect number of kids I'd like to have someday, but I never told this guy that before our meeting, and this came out of nowhere!
Yeah, you definitely had to get out of there. He wanted exactly the same things you wanted in life.
First dinner. I don't know this guy whatsoever. Gee, who ever heard of timing though? What's THAT?0
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