I’m down 90lbs and I’ve never been more miserable

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Replies

  • Tic78
    Tic78 Posts: 232 Member
    Nothing to add but wanted to say I hope you feel better soon
  • leobrah
    leobrah Posts: 124 Member
    I just wanted to say hang in there and what you did by losing 90lbs is an incredible achievement and I hope you will feel better soon.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    Can you get a Mirena IUD to get your periods/PMS under control? That thing saved my sanity. I got my first one after delivering my youngest, 15 years ago. Still have one.
    Sending you warm thoughts. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice or help :heart:
  • ErnestineBorgnine
    ErnestineBorgnine Posts: 15 Member
    I sent you a pm.
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    girlwithcurls2 wrote: »
    Can you get a Mirena IUD to get your periods/PMS under control? That thing saved my sanity. I got my first one after delivering my youngest, 15 years ago. Still have one.
    Sending you warm thoughts. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice or help :heart:

    Thank you. I’m actually going to bring it up when I find an OB. I had one a few years back and I remember feeling balanced on it. I was in A LOT of pain the first few months though.
    ErnestineBorgnine wrote: »
    I sent you a pm.

    I didn’t get it @ErnestineBorgnine

  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    leobrah wrote: »
    I just wanted to say hang in there and what you did by losing 90lbs is an incredible achievement and I hope you will feel better soon.

    Thanks <3
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    ceiswyn wrote: »
    Unfortunately, weight loss has probably thrown your hormones INTO whack.

    Fat cells produce hormones that interfere with the menstrual cycle; as you lose weight, your natural hormonal fluctuations become more apparent and your cycle reasserts itself.

    When I dipped below about 280 lb, I suddenly went from irregular light bleeding to a fairly regular monthly bloodbath, complete with a week of PMS that mimics viral illness towards the end. It’s been consistent for a year and a half, that’s just what my cycle is like.

    It sounds like you may naturally have a cycle from hell. Your psych can’t help with that aspect of things; I would suggest consulting a primary care physician. There are treatments for that sort of thing - if nothing else, some contraceptives stop you menstruating!

    I read that! Jesus. So this sh$& is just going to keep getting worse. Yeah I definitely do.
    SeptemberFeyre wrote: »
    I just saw this the other day and it reminds me of your situation. I hope it helps.

    https://www.today.com/video/-i-just-want-to-sleep-mother-takes-action-after-battling-insomnia-for-4-years-1310561859622?v=railb&amp;

    Thanks. I will read it in a few.
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    My weight loss has completely thrown my hormones out of wack and I’m getting my period every three weeks with SEVERE PMS two weeks before my cycle. It seems to be getting worse the more weight I lose. My insomnia and anxiety have been UNREAL. I take meds and see a psychiatrist, I workout 6 days a week, I practice mindfulness. I go to therapy once a week and NOTHING is helping. I just want to die tbh. I’m also a caregiver to my sick mother, so the added stress of that and my pms I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I can’t do this anymore. I haven’t worked out in 3 days which is like a record for me.

    When was the last time you had your TSH levels checked? Your cycle has obviously changed from a 28 days cycle to 21 days? Your thyroid controls your periods. Granted, you're under a lot of stress, compounded by your weight loss efforts, an appointment with your gynae is due. He/she will likely give you an ultrasound, as well as blood work (TSH, Serum FSH etc) to ascertain what has triggered this change in your cycle, your insomnia, anxiety etc.

    Is/was your flow normal? #of days? Volume of flow? [ You needn't answer these prompters ... It's for you really]

    Calculating your TDEE and eating at maintenance until your specialist appointment would be advisable. Agree with @Nony_Mouse that 1700 might be re-looked at where it might be too steep a deficit.

    It been awhile. The last time I got it checked my PCP said I was borderline under active and that he wanted to “watch it” before he decides to treat me. That was months ago. I haven’t gone back to see him because he’s very nasty and he didn’t want to help me get off the sleep meds that caused me to gain weight. I have to find another PCP. I’ve just been stalling, because very few dr’s take my insurance around here and the ones I have seen were AWFUL.

    That is awful indeed. Borderline. Interesting to hear what another specialist will say. Please do keep us posted. Praying for a better outcome for you.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
    Lack of sleep has brutal side effects. My reco would be to do whatever it takes to tackle that first.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    gebeziseva wrote: »
    I have severe PMS and period pains lately (including a trip to the A&E where I was given opioid injections for the pain) and my gynecologyst prescribed the following treatment:

    1x500mg Naproxen every 12 hours (prescription NSAID in the UK)
    2x10mg hyoscine 4 times a day (over the counter in the UK)
    2x500mg paracetamol 4 times a day (over the counter in the UK)

    I'm supposed to start taking those a couple of days before I expect my pain to start and keep taking them for the duration.

    This has helped me immencely. I still have some pain but totally manageable.

    My advice is to run by your GP or gyne this treatment and see if they think it is appropriate for you.

    Omg that must be hell. I’m glad you got some relief. Fortunately my periods aren’t physically painful they just make me crazy and extremely depressed.
    Millicent3015 wrote: »
    If there's any way you can get some respite care for your mum, even if it's just for a few days, please explore that. There may be some mental health support groups in your area where you can meet with other people who understand your struggles. I don't know what meds you're on, but if you think they're not being as effective as they could be you can discuss with your psychiatrist about adjusting your dose or trying a different one, maybe one you take at night that can make you drowsy enough to fall asleep. You really need to get the TOM issue looked at, too. Take a break. You're doing so much and if you're not getting enough to eat and/or working out too much, that will impact you. It's okay to ease back for a while, you can always resume your eating and exercise once you've got the other things sorted out.

    They actually offer support groups where my mom goes for water therapy. I’ve had the flier in my bag for weeks. I’m kind of nervous to go.
    happytree923 wrote: »
    Definitely see a PCP or GYN for the period/PMS issues if you have only gotten help from a psychiatrist so far. Psychiatric meds can work very well but they don’t balance period hormones! I reduced my antidepressant dose by getting on the right birth control, it helped that much. I hope you find the right combination of medical and non-medical support you need to get through!

    Yeah I know. I’m terrified of the pill, but I’m hoping a IUD might help.

    I hated the pill. I felt nauseous all the time. It was easier to abstain.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    apullum wrote: »
    I think that your mental health needs to take priority over your weight goals for now. Now is a good time to take a diet break and focus on your other health needs. You can always go back into a deficit in the future when you feel better.

    Some of the things you said in your original post made me concerned. If you ever feel like you are in immediate emotional distress, then please, give the Lifeline a call or chat with them: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. They can offer more immediate and professional help than we can give.

    Thanks for your concern I really appreciate it. It’s funny dieting and working out is the LEAST of my stresses. It was the ONE thing going right in my life, but with these external issues and my body hating me I’m really just losing my drive. I don’t even know what I’m fighting for anymore.
    divcara wrote: »
    That sounds really hard, I'm sorry you are dealing with all of that. And insomnia and anxiety just make you feel awful. If there is anything to focus on, starting with good sleep is usually a good place to start. Easier said than done, I know. When times are extra stressful, I feel like sometimes we just have to do the best we can to get through and whatever is going to help you the most.

    I wouldn't worry so much about your workouts as a means to stay on track. Only if something is helping you cope - is there any particular activity that brings you any relief? Yoga, walking, or something SO high intensity you literally can't focus or hold on to any stressful thoughts in your head, or that burns some of that adrenaline/anxiety? If anything gives you a mental boost, I'd say go for that one and forget the rest. Or IF you find that you feel better after you go, then yes, push yourself to go to get that reward or any endorphins. But don't worry about it for calorie burn.

    I'm so sorry this is so hard - it's okay to take a step back from the world if you need to and just focus on self-care and taking as much off your plate as you possibly can. Just survival sometimes is simply all we can do. Be kind to yourself - depression and anxiety are not easy even without other stresses on top of it. Think of sleep, nutrition, exercise as positive self-care if it helps, but don't feel guilt for taking sleep and rest and just hibernating a bit if that's what helps you through a dark time too. Just do what will help you the most, without apologies or feeling like what you "should" be doing. Hugs.

    Thanks for your kind words . I haven’t done HIIT in awhile, because it became to overwhelming. I was getting exercise induced panic attacks. My insomnia stems from taking care of my mom alone. I feel like I have to be on “Alert” 24/7 in case she needs help. She’s not in the best health and I am an excessive worrier. I can’t remember the last time I had a peaceful night sleep.
    ahoy_m8 wrote: »
    Sleep is down in the most basic layer of Maslow ‘s hierarchy of needs, along with oxygen and food. How long have you been struggling with insomnia? Are either of your doctors addressing the sleep issue? Getting enough sleep will help everything, including hormones.

    Long story- Several years ago I had major depression for a bit over a year and tried several antidepressants , but I just couldn’t tolerate the side effects. Never found one that worked for me. However, sleeping pills saved me. My depression spiraled with sleeplessness, so getting one under control vastly helped the other. Once I felt better, I had no trouble stopping the sleeping pills. Just decided one day I was doing ok and stopped them. Much simpler than weaning off antidepressants. My rule for myself is sleep comes first. I have no business doing workouts if I’m not getting adequate sleep.

    I have no idea on the menstrual cycle. My cycle went from a pretty consistent 28 days to 21-24 days as I neared 50. My understanding is that’s not uncommon in peri menopause (heightened FSH), but I’m 53 and you look too young for that to be a factor. Someone else mentioned oral contraceptives can be a huge help regulating hormones in some cases, and I do agree with that. Ask your GYN for help. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like a very stressful time and you need some relief.

    Since I was in my early twenties. My insomnia is nothing new. It’s just getting WORSE. I’ve been on all different types of sleep meds throughout the years. I’m currently on restoril and it’s a real hit or miss. There’s one sleeping pill I wish I could try, but my insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s too expensive to pay out of pocket. My insurance doesn’t cover many sleeping pills.
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    .
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    Since cooler temps are approaching ... Would you consider walking your mother through that lovely park you'd written about? Does it have a walking path? Agree@ease off the workouts. Instead incalcate an activity with your mum. That way, you could ease your mind and get some walking miles in. If you need complete moments to yourself, how about playing an audio book for her to occupy her, whilst you listen to what peps you up. Make it enjoyable for you both.

    If your program seems rote, you need to claim moments which could qualify as exercise, only that you plan it, so that it doesn't feel like it. You could walk to the museum or an art gallery too. Aren't you in NY? There's so much to do there.

    My mom goes to water therapy three times a week. We also do YT sit down workouts. I actually really enjoy working out. I like to go for my walks alone tbh. I need that time to myself. It’s the insomnia that’s really killing my energy. I take sleeping pills and they don’t always work especially when I’m pms’ing.

    Have you considered eating at your maintenance then? Just until you get a better handle on things. I cannot really suggest anything to aid you with sleep ... Since it's relatively new ... Sleep clinic would be an extreme approach. Hope you and your specialists figure out exactly what has caused this shift from your menses to your disrupted sleep.



    I actually had a sleep study a few months ago. I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea.

    Only, that in order for sleep apnea to be the root cause here, you would need to be able to fall asleep in the first place. Stymied.
  • Running_and_Coffee
    Running_and_Coffee Posts: 811 Member
    You have so much stress and so little sleep....that is a lot to shoulder! Did you used to eat for comfort (“stress eat”) and now you don’t have a physical relief from the stress in your life?
  • ErnestineBorgnine
    ErnestineBorgnine Posts: 15 Member
    I’m a fulltime carer, too, and it can be very isolating. It’s also hard not having local support. If you’re ever interested, we could talk via Skype. Obviously I can’t take the day to day load off, but maybe talking with someone in a similar position could help with a bit of the emotional load.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »

    Since I was in my early twenties. My insomnia is nothing new. It’s just getting WORSE. I’ve been on all different types of sleep meds throughout the years. I’m currently on restoril and it’s a real hit or miss. There’s one sleeping pill I wish I could try, but my insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s too expensive to pay out of pocket. My insurance doesn’t cover many sleeping pills.

    Restoril worked wonders for me. I’m sorry it’s hit or miss for you. I understand the bit about sleeping with your ears on alert. That’s really hard. How does your night go when you’re not “on duty” with your mom? Does getting a break from night care giving give you relief?

  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    ahoy_m8 wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »

    Since I was in my early twenties. My insomnia is nothing new. It’s just getting WORSE. I’ve been on all different types of sleep meds throughout the years. I’m currently on restoril and it’s a real hit or miss. There’s one sleeping pill I wish I could try, but my insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s too expensive to pay out of pocket. My insurance doesn’t cover many sleeping pills.

    Restoril worked wonders for me. I’m sorry it’s hit or miss for you. I understand the bit about sleeping with your ears on alert. That’s really hard. How does your night go when you’re not “on duty” with your mom? Does getting a break from night care giving give you relief?

    I’m never not on duty 😩 I take care of her alone. I don’t have any family or close family friends to help out. I don’t get sleepy like “normal” people do. It’s like my brain is programmed to get up every few hours to check on her. The mornings are the worst. I hold my breath before I leave my room, because I’m anticipating finding her dead or collapsed on the floor. I get severe anxiety in the morning.
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    ErnestineBorgnine wrote: »
    I’m a fulltime carer, too, and it can be very isolating. It’s also hard not having local support. If you’re ever interested, we could talk via Skype. Obviously I can’t take the day to day load off, but maybe talking with someone in a similar position could help with a bit of the emotional load.

    I don’t have skype, but you can message me whenever you want.
  • kew1952
    kew1952 Posts: 52 Member
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    debtay123 wrote: »
    Will be praying for you- hold on- change has to be coming- so glad you are trying to help yourself by seeking therapy. Are you sure now is a good time to continue to try to lose weight- maybe you should take a diet break- and just care for your mom and do what you MUST- continue to seek help- You MATTER!!!!

    Thanks. I really appreciate that. My mom has been disabled for 10 years. I’ve been doing this for a loooooong time. She’s been having a lot of health problems recently, so the stress has been getting to me more then usual. I also have no real support system. I take care of her alone. It’s can get very overwhelming.

    Without a support system, it is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. You have a lot on your plate right now. Without knowing what your mom's current health issues are, are there any local support groups that you can turn to? Or maybe support through a church? It sounds like your mom is fortunate to have you caring for her. Lifting you up in prayer.
  • ErnestineBorgnine
    ErnestineBorgnine Posts: 15 Member
    I totally understand the “being on 24/7,” even when you’re “off.” There’s no off when you’re the sole caregiver. Do you have any local in-person-flesh & blood support?

    Someone up the thread mentioned respite care. Is it possible to take advantage of that, if only for a few hours?

    As far as weight loss goes, I’ve found it helpful to pack a lunchbox with a variety of different foods that I may or may not eat but it gives me healthy & tasty options if I can grab a bite between doing this, that, and the other thing. I prep it after my grandfather goes to bed at night and before I attempt to sleep.
  • LiveInLeggings
    LiveInLeggings Posts: 222 Member
    I was a caregiver for my Mom too, I totally understand. You need some time off, I hope you can get some help and take care of yourself.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Have you explored options for respite care or hospice in your area? It's possible the cost will be covered, depending on her condition. You NEED a break. This isn't just for funsies. Neither of you will be better off with you completely burned out.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Have you explored options for respite care or hospice in your area? It's possible the cost will be covered, depending on her condition. You NEED a break. This isn't just for funsies. Neither of you will be better off with you completely burned out.

    Yes, before they went into nursing homes, my OH's parents got services from a local elder care service that were mostly covered by Medicare. His father was eligible for services for a few hours every day. It was less for his mother, but a big help to have someone come in several times per week to assist her in the shower, etc.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    12Sarah2015 wrote: »
    lililomo wrote: »
    i'm sorry you're under such duress. i wonder if perhaps your doctor can order a full set of bloodwork to make sure that something else isn't awry? i was taking care of my dying mother when my children were toddlers, and was a complete wreck, so i completely understand what that is all about regarding caregiving. it sounds like you need a break in a few ways. my best wishes to you... and please keep us posted. we're rooting for you! <3

    I agree. I had low iron once which made everything feel terrible

    @bootyrubsandtacos have you had your iron levels tested? When my anemia gets out of control I have crippling fatigue and everything is terrible.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    12Sarah2015 wrote: »
    lililomo wrote: »
    i'm sorry you're under such duress. i wonder if perhaps your doctor can order a full set of bloodwork to make sure that something else isn't awry? i was taking care of my dying mother when my children were toddlers, and was a complete wreck, so i completely understand what that is all about regarding caregiving. it sounds like you need a break in a few ways. my best wishes to you... and please keep us posted. we're rooting for you! <3

    I agree. I had low iron once which made everything feel terrible

    @bootyrubsandtacos have you had your iron levels tested? When my anemia gets out of control I have crippling fatigue and everything is terrible.

    And also Vitamin D.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    TheHawk007 wrote: »
    Stay the course. Be strong.

    I agree w this!!!!

  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
    I saw you mentioned you are confident that your meds are fine, but I've known a few people who struggled through major issues after drastic weight loss, because the dosage was no longer appropriate for their new bodyweight. If that's already been addressed with your doctors, disregard, just something to consider if you haven't already. Also, I find that my periods become far more frequent and more painful when my iron is low (or perhaps, my iron is low because my periods want to kill me, who's to say). It wouldn't hurt to get tested for iron and other vitamin/mineral deficiencies, but most of all you probably just need rest. Is there anyway you would be able to reach out to community volunteer organizations (or churches) that could offer some kind of assistance with your mother? You need to be able to take a break, you cant give someone/something your all when you've run completely empty. It's not selfish to ask for help.
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    edited September 2018
    kew1952 wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    debtay123 wrote: »
    Will be praying for you- hold on- change has to be coming- so glad you are trying to help yourself by seeking therapy. Are you sure now is a good time to continue to try to lose weight- maybe you should take a diet break- and just care for your mom and do what you MUST- continue to seek help- You MATTER!!!!

    Thanks. I really appreciate that. My mom has been disabled for 10 years. I’ve been doing this for a loooooong time. She’s been having a lot of health problems recently, so the stress has been getting to me more then usual. I also have no real support system. I take care of her alone. It’s can get very overwhelming.

    Without a support system, it is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. You have a lot on your plate right now. Without knowing what your mom's current health issues are, are there any local support groups that you can turn to? Or maybe support through a church? It sounds like your mom is fortunate to have you caring for her. Lifting you up in prayer.

    The place she goes to for water therapy has a caregiver support group. I’ve had the flier in my bag for weeks. I’ve just been hesitant to go. I’m worried about being judged. I went to a “support” group a few years back and I didn’t feel very welcomed.
    ErnestineBorgnine wrote: »
    I totally understand the “being on 24/7,” even when you’re “off.” There’s no off when you’re the sole caregiver. Do you have any local in-person-flesh & blood support?


    Someone up the thread mentioned respite care. Is it possible to take advantage of that, if only for a few hours?

    As far as weight loss goes, I’ve found it helpful to pack a lunchbox with a variety of different foods that I may or may not eat but it gives me healthy & tasty options if I can grab a bite between doing this, that, and the other thing. I prep it after my grandfather goes to bed at night and before I attempt to sleep.

    My mom actually said that she would be willing to hire someone to come in a couple of times a week to help with chores. I don’t know how I feel about tbh. My grams was bedridden when I was kid and I have vivid memories of all the awful home health aides we went through. I remember being 13 and showing several aides how to give a bed bath. Most of them are jokes.

    That’s a good idea. My diet is actually really good. I love to cook and get creative in the kitchen. It’s just sleep deprivation that’s making my life torture.

    maureenkhilde wrote: »
    I was my moms caregiver for 8 years, she died at age 93 so had a long life. But something you wrote really jumped out at me. I can understand your mom not liking aides. However the subject is how burned out you are, your anxiety and depression and what you need now. So your mom may just need to have a few days a week with aides, so that you can get some down time. Recharge, get some rest, take care of yourself. Because a caregiver that is on 24/7 365 days year after year. Is not a caregiver that is in topform for either herself or the person she is caring for. So if there is no family or friends or organizations to help, then you really should consider aides. Here in the USA we have something called Care.com where you could hire a companion company/person as well, that way you can interview them, have your mom meet them to decide if they are the type of person that would work out.


    Years ago I had some of those PMS issues, I feel your pain and yes you need a Dr. who will listen to you and get you some medication and relief for that. As you have so many different big issues just raining down on you. Hoping the clouds clear soon for you, and some sunshine starts to shine on you.

    I’m familiar with the website. My mom is willing I just don’t like the idea. I’m not sure an aide would even help, because the physical part of caregiving isn’t as hard as the emotional part. I’m an excessive worrier and I definitely have ptsd (I’ve witnessed a lot of sickness and death in my life). I don’t know maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad ideas. Thanks for your kind words.
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    12Sarah2015 wrote: »
    lililomo wrote: »
    i'm sorry you're under such duress. i wonder if perhaps your doctor can order a full set of bloodwork to make sure that something else isn't awry? i was taking care of my dying mother when my children were toddlers, and was a complete wreck, so i completely understand what that is all about regarding caregiving. it sounds like you need a break in a few ways. my best wishes to you... and please keep us posted. we're rooting for you! <3


    I agree. I had low iron once which made everything feel terrible

    @bootyrubsandtacos have you had your iron levels tested? When my anemia gets out of control I have crippling fatigue and everything is terrible.

    That’s my next step. I plan to look for dr’s tomorrow and get the ball rolling. I’m due for a physical.
    Psychgrrl wrote: »
    bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »
    debtay123 wrote: »
    Will be praying for you- hold on- change has to be coming- so glad you are trying to help yourself by seeking therapy. Are you sure now is a good time to continue to try to lose weight- maybe you should take a diet break- and just care for your mom and do what you MUST- continue to seek help- You MATTER!!!!

    Thanks. I really appreciate that. My mom has been disabled for 10 years. I’ve been doing this for a loooooong time. She’s been having a lot of health problems recently, so the stress has been getting to me more then usual. I also have no real support system. I take care of her alone. It’s can get very overwhelming.

    In case you haven't, please look into state and county health resources (I creeped your profile and saw you're in the US) and Medicare options. There's a lot of stuff covered by Medicare they never tell you about until you ask. We were able to get my mom a nurse visit daily as well as a social worker. And my mom's diabetic which means a free podiatrist check every three months to make sure she's not losing circulation in her feet. I had no idea. She recently broke her ankle and the in-home PT was free for us (covered by medicare).

    It's really tough to see our parents that frail. Must be how they felt when we were sick. :disappointed:

    As for the monthly stuff, mine got worse as I lost weight, too. Hormonal birth control helped, though it took a little time to find the right pill. I also took it constantly with no week off, as the week off was a disaster. However, my age (over 35) got up to the point where stroke was a concern (though I've never smoked) and we had to look into other options.

    I also let myself wallow a little bit, which might not be the best strategy for you, so check with your therapist. I always push myself out of the doldrums. "C'mon, you're better than this," "You can DO this," and my all time favorite, "People are counting on you! Get it together" blah, blah, blah. Which sometimes meant I wasn't really dealing with stuff, I was just suppressing the emotions and pushing on. They come through eventually.

    So I have my "wallowing" tools. A playlist, a couple movies, my journal, and lots of kleenex. I give myself an evening-ish to let it all out. For me, it really is cathartic. But it might not be a tool for you as some folks could get stuck in the wallowing. And that's not a place you want to live.

    You will get through this and come out the other side. You'll find care for your mom and get your groove back. It's OK if it takes time. And it's OK if you let some stuff fall away while you work on other stuff. You get to prioritize what you do with your energy and should cut yourself some slack if some/most of the balls drop for a little while. They'll still be there when you're ready to pick hem up again. Or you can just throw them at someone who pisses you off. That works for me, too. :wink:

    I’ve been wallowing in reason lol. I decided I wasn’t going to workout for the rest of the week. I got some chores done, went to therapy. That’s enough for now. I’m tryin not to be too hard myself. I just wish I could lose the rest of my weight in peace, but my body really hates me.
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    edited September 2018
    saragd012 wrote: »
    I saw you mentioned you are confident that your meds are fine, but I've known a few people who struggled through major issues after drastic weight loss, because the dosage was no longer appropriate for their new bodyweight. If that's already been addressed with your doctors, disregard, just something to consider if you haven't already. Also, I find that my periods become far more frequent and more painful when my iron is low (or perhaps, my iron is low because my periods want to kill me, who's to say). It wouldn't hurt to get tested for iron and other vitamin/mineral deficiencies, but most of all you probably just need rest. Is there anyway you would be able to reach out to community volunteer organizations (or churches) that could offer some kind of assistance with your mother? You need to be able to take a break, you cant give someone/something your all when you've run completely empty. It's not selfish to ask for help.

    I would be skeptical about the meds if I felt like this all the time. When my period comes I feel normal’ish for about a week and then and there’s a ...........Shift. I can tell immediately when I’m starting to PMS. I turn into a complete and utter BASKET CASE. I usually manage to push through, but this past week I completely crashed. I couldn’t workout, I barely kept up with the chores. I felt like I was recovering from a 5 day bender.
  • bootyrubsandtacos
    bootyrubsandtacos Posts: 775 Member
    edited September 2018
    ErnestineBorgnine wrote: »
    I totally understand the “being on 24/7,” even when you’re “off.” There’s no off when you’re the sole caregiver. Do you have any local in-person-flesh & blood support?

    I see my therapist once a week. That’s as much support as I get. She’s been really irritating me lately too, because she keeps saying I “chose” this life and that I have “options”. I told her I didn’t choose SH$! I end up in this situation due to circumstances! It’s like she’s essentially shaming me for having a SOUL and doing the RIGHT thing. I understand what she’s getting at, but it still annoys me.

    Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply to my post and offering great advice. I’ve been taken everything you guys have posted to heart.
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