The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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https://www.verywellmind.com/can-alcoholics-learn-to-drink-moderately-67719
Yes, I googled “can alcoholics ever become moderate drinkers?”. I was thinking today... maybe I”m not an alcoholic after all. Then, I read this paragraph, and I said “oh yeah, that sounds just like me.”
From the article:
“You see, my memory is selective. I tend to forget how sick I felt each day, the hangovers, the blackouts, the puking, the worrying about how I appeared to other people, the remorse I felt every single morning when I woke up. I was beating myself up, and yet I continued. Who does that? Social drinkers don't do that. But alcoholics do.”
“However, those who have quit drinking because of past problems, and then attempt to go back to controlled or moderate drinking, fail to do so. They simply cannot drink one or two and stop, or at least not for any sustained period of time.”4 -
Awesome job @RubyRed427 !!! What a wonderful getaway for you who knows if it'd have been funnier with some al,some times Id think that then drink and feel awful! That's one thing I remember about drinking for me is that it's unpredictable,I wasn't sure if I'd get the happy buzz,irritated buzz or the sad buzz,I also know I can't learn to drink moderately trust me I've tried! Tried pacing it,eating with it,drinking water between drinks,meh,that just irritated me! I wanted to just get crunk! Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!3
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Hi! Good to see this. I am in my 8th week of no alcohol with a couple of setbacks but straight back on it the next day. In 8 weeks I have had only five days where I have drank alcohol and nowhere near the amount I used to! I’m aiming for abstinence, it’s the only way for me. Maybe one day I will be able to enjoy just one glass of wine but until then it’s juice and water for me. I do like AF beer and mocktails though 😉 👍7
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RubyRed427 wrote: »https://www.verywellmind.com/can-alcoholics-learn-to-drink-moderately-67719
“However, those who have quit drinking because of past problems, and then attempt to go back to controlled or moderate drinking, fail to do so. They simply cannot drink one or two and stop, or at least not for any sustained period of time.”
Tried it, tried it, tried it....can NOT do it!!! There were a couple of other points I thought were good reminders also...#1 moderation is one drink per day for women, 2 for men...anything beyond that is risking health problems. #2 Those who have been able to learn to moderate alcohol were likely problem drinkers & not alcoholics & it referred to Moderation Management...sounds like too much work to me...#3 if alcoholics do fool themselves into thinking they "may" be able to moderate & by the time they learn that they cannot, it's too late. It can take several years to return to sobriety & sadly some do not...NOT WORTH THE RISK!! to try to fool myself one more time...besides I like the buzz & the chillax effect of alcohol...you can NOT get the level of chillax that I got by drinking one standard drink...
Sobriety is way better than putting too much energy to torment myself to have one measly drink... and then stop...easier to just stop altogether!!! @RubyRed427 Thank you for that article...needed the reminders!!6 -
Am I an alcoholic OR a problem drinker? I do not know. The only thing I DO know is there is a fine line between a problem drinker & an alcoholic and I also know that I am happier without it so it doesn't really matter what the "label" is. There is a stigma to the term alcoholic & now the term is Alcohol Use Disorder which doesn't sound as hopeless I suppose!! Waddy'all think?? Hmmmm??3
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Tomorrow is my birthday and it is the first one in a long time I will not have any alcohol. I'll treat myself in other ways. A pedicure or facial or both, who knows. I am happy to be on this journey with all of you6
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@lorrainequiche59, I recommend Allen Carr’s book titled something like The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women. I buy his clearly stated contention, which is the same as Annie Grace’s, that there is no sense to the label “alcoholic,” as if only a certain group of people are affected negatively by ingesting an addictive substance.
Years ago I dabbled with Moderation Management, and you are right. Those folks spend a TON of time focusing on alcohol and “managing” it. It was exhausting. No thank you.
@JenT304, HAPPY BIRTHDAY tomorrow!!!! Have a wonderful celebration.3 -
@lorrainequiche59 A label is just that usually what someone else calls us. I was an alcoholic who had a problem drinking more than I should. My daughter who has been in AA for over 20 years asked me when I stopped " what do you call an alcoholic who doesn't go to AA meetings? A drunk. So I was a drunken Alcoholic who stopped drinking over ten years ago. The bottom line for me is I don't drink. The label I go with now " I am a runner" and then there are people who want to quantify what is a runner how fast am I how far do you run. Mostly as they sit on their butts labeling me.
A wise man once told me " its none of your business what someone else thinks of you" or don't worry or care what they think of you just be comfortable with what you think of you.
@JenT304 happy birthday enjoy whatever treats you chose for your birthday present another year older but certainly another year wiser4 -
@Louise754 welcome and congratulations on your AF journey
@RubyRed427 I prefer to think after 10 years I can handle moderation but my life has taken me in another direction and there is no room for drinking anymore. So I believe I have the discipline and that is satisfying but wont try that self control. Always better safe than sorry.3 -
I'm in. Day 1.10
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »https://www.verywellmind.com/can-alcoholics-learn-to-drink-moderately-67719
“However, those who have quit drinking because of past problems, and then attempt to go back to controlled or moderate drinking, fail to do so. They simply cannot drink one or two and stop, or at least not for any sustained period of time.”
Tried it, tried it, tried it....can NOT do it!!! There were a couple of other points I thought were good reminders also...#1 moderation is one drink per day for women, 2 for men...anything beyond that is risking health problems. #2 Those who have been able to learn to moderate alcohol were likely problem drinkers & not alcoholics & it referred to Moderation Management...sounds like too much work to me...#3 if alcoholics do fool themselves into thinking they "may" be able to moderate & by the time they learn that they cannot, it's too late. It can take several years to return to sobriety & sadly some do not...NOT WORTH THE RISK!! to try to fool myself one more time...besides I like the buzz & the chillax effect of alcohol...you can NOT get the level of chillax that I got by drinking one standard drink...
Sobriety is way better than putting too much energy to torment myself to have one measly drink... and then stop...easier to just stop altogether!!! @RubyRed427 Thank you for that article...needed the reminders!!
Thank you!2 -
@Louise754 welcome and congratulations on your AF journey
@RubyRed427 I prefer to think after 10 years I can handle moderation but my life has taken me in another direction and there is no room for drinking anymore. So I believe I have the discipline and that is satisfying but wont try that self control. Always better safe than sorry.
Thank you!1 -
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Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! I am grateful for another trip around the sun.
@fdhunt1 Welcome! You will find support and encouragement here. We are all each others cheerleaders.1 -
Happy Birthday Jen!!!🍰1
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Sobriety is way better than putting too much energy to torment myself to have one measly drink... and then stop...easier to just stop altogether!!!
This is very well put. I never thought of it this way. When I'm tempted to "try" moderate drinking, you're right, I'm hoping for just "one measly drink," not to go back to drinking like I used to. So all those mental gymnastics in the service of "one measly drink" just do not make sense. So, unless I want to go back to the all-in bad old days, better to just leave it. I'm picturing the Libra-type scales with my AF life on one side and "one measly drink" on the other. Duh!!!
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Best wishes to each and everyone of you for your choice . I don't drink but had a father who was . He made our lives miserable. Alcohol not only affects the person, but also their family. I am mad at my father for drinking his whole life away. He died young, at the age of 65. His body was destroyed by alcohol ie, liver damage, hallucinations, pancreatitis, weight loss, dementia, etc. He started out young as a moderate drinker and progressively got worse. I just wished he would have stopped but he was too far gone, just too many years of damage. . I guess that is one reason, the most important for me for not drinking .............Seeing him die from the affects of alcohol had an affect on me. Seeing how he destroyed his family and my mother did as well. It ruins innocent people s lives. I guess that is why Im just too scared to drink. Im afraid Ill become like him. I hope this doesn't upset anyone, just want to say that drinking affects everyone you love , the people around you........ Best wishes, I hope you meet your goals and live a happy life...............
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@lloydrt this was a poignant, somber post. But it was important for me to hear it. I'm happy you never drank. It can be a prison for some. It's sad you and your family suffered right along with him. Thank you so much for sharing this. Hugs ! Xo5
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@lloydrt YES you are right. Drinking ruins lives. I've had lots of experience watching drinkers ruin their own & others' lives. My father died from cirrhosis of the liver @ 54. He was a train wreck. I don't remember too much, although it has had a profound impact on my entire life. I was 17 when he died, but I had lost my father many years before that. I also married an alcoholic which was a nightmare. All that time I had my own issue developing, but wasn't aware till now. I'm so glad that you never followed in your father's footsteps...I hope you can work through your anger with your Dad so you can live the rest of your life in peace. Thank you for sharing.6
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@JenT304 Hope your birthday was enjoyable and happy!
Wishing everyone a nice day. Xo1
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