I have arranged a swim party for my son's 8th birthday party. My ex husband will be there will his stunning girlfriend. 10 years younger than me, and never had children.
I have to be in a swim suit in front of both of then as I have to assist in the pool.
This man once told me I was fat. I'm dreading it!! I've lost 36lb and look okay, but I do not have the courage to do this!!
torabelle79
Member Posts: 63 Member
Member Posts: 63 Member
Replies
My body image is always dreadful. I cant bear to be seen by him in a swim suit.....
Maybe write down all the things that you like about yourself inside and out- not what other people like or dislike.
Check out this thread-> https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10689837/does-this-uterus-make-my-stomach-look-fat/p1
You are not in competition or needing to impress anyone least of all your ex and his girlfriend. A giant smile is the best looking thing you can put on for your son's birthday!
If you really need to be in the pool, how about one of those wetsuits. I've no idea if you an hire one, or if there are inexpensive ones to buy, it would let you still feel dressed for the occasion. I know they are old fashioned, could something like a cat-suit be dual purpose? Who's the character I'm thinking of, *kitten* Galore, was it?
Most of all, be proud of the life you are achieving for yourself and your son. (Bet he said you could not manage on your own too.) Go for it, with deep pride.
And definitely read the thread suggested by @Lounmoun
there are so many cute suits. enjoy. it can be trying to go suit shopping. don't get stuck in your head
Unfortunately our working relationship is pretty dreadful. They say you never know someone u til you divorce them!......but that's for a whole different forum. It's safe to say this man plays on every insecurity I have.
Thank you all xx
You don’t need his or anyone’s approval.... you look great and your superpower is all inside 💕
Enjoy your son’s birthday and act like he isn’t even there
Why dread being around a man who disrespected you, and his mid-life crisis du jour who'll probably ditch him in six months? Let them get on with their foolishness. You only have to be civil to them for the kids' sake. You don't need to be meek and mild. You have nothing to prove to Mr. "I Only Got A Girlfriend Because I Couldn't Afford A Lamborghini". Your body is on point. Seriously. If you had the confidence to post your fabulous picture on a public forum to be appreciated by potentially thousands of people, you have the confidence to rock a cute swimsuit in front of your current ex and his soon to be ex. So on the day, act confident even if you're cringing on the inside. Mid Life Crisis and Ms.Thing will only see your fear if you show it.
Fortunately, I was able to enlist my siblings to run "interference" for me. Maybe a couple of your friends could be enlisted to keep any eye on Mr. *kitten*hole and Ms. Arm Candy. Arrange a secret signal, and ask your friends to be ready to butt into any conversation that starts heading south with compliments about things like how well his Geritol seems to be working, and how cute she looks now that her braces are off.
I also went for "full armor" - making myself as physically good-looking and pulled-together as I could get. I got my hair colored, eyebrows plucked, mani-pedi, new outfit* - the whole nine yards. If it had been a swim party, I would have also gone for salon hair removal for the bikini area and possibly a light application of professional spray tan.
(*In addition to your new swimsuit, you might also want to get some sort of stunning pareo or other cover-up. Not that you need it - you're gorgeous, and your tummy area looks fantastic to me. But a nice cover-up could help bolster up your feelings of confidence and self-esteem.)
My nephew's wedding was difficult at times, with seeing and avoiding my relative. But I was mostly able to concentrate on the event: I got to see my nephew overjoyed at marrying the love of his life, and participate in his celebration.
I hope your party goes at least that well, and that you are able to mostly ignore your ex and his GF and have fun playing and celebrating with your son and his friends.
In the meantime you need a game plan. So, you've lost weight..and you look good. The old Ex will notice that!
So, get some money.. buy a great swimsuit and sexy cover up.... make it colorful and outstanding..bring a good friend with a sense of style with you. Get you hair done.. get hi lights and great style and maybe even a new color.. I think I see red hair..so have your stylist rev it up. Get a manicure and pedicure.
Then.. plaster a smile on your face and be as nice as you can be to his young girlfriend ... be the hostess in charge. and .the hostess with the mostest. Have great food.. beautiful cake.. and surround yourself with adoring friends. Don't let them see you sweat!
And I also suggest you watch "It's complicated"