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My worst nightmare

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  • 777Gemma888777Gemma888 Member Posts: 9,560 Member Member Posts: 9,560 Member
    Agree with the other posters. You look great. Maybe a one piece swimsuit with tummy control?!?(only if you're uncomfortable about that area). It would just accentuate the area more, diverting the eyes, usually with some kind of bust area emphasis and elevation. Hair, mani-pedi and light waterproof makeup ... BooM!!
    I recently had to see a relative I had refused to have contact with for 30 years. I severed contact because it was the only way I knew of to avoid his verbal and emotional abuse - he definitely knew how to hit all my buttons. But my nephew was getting married, and I wanted to be there - and I couldn't stop the dreaded relative from coming.

    Fortunately, I was able to enlist my siblings to run "interference" for me. Maybe a couple of your friends could be enlisted to keep any eye on Mr. *kitten*hole and Ms. Arm Candy. Arrange a secret signal, and ask your friends to be ready to butt into any conversation that starts heading south with compliments about things like how well his Geritol seems to be working, and how cute she looks now that her braces are off.

    I also went for "full armor" - making myself as physically good-looking and pulled-together as I could get. I got my hair colored, eyebrows plucked, mani-pedi, new outfit* - the whole nine yards. If it had been a swim party, I would have also gone for salon hair removal for the bikini area and possibly a light application of professional spray tan.

    (*In addition to your new swimsuit, you might also want to get some sort of stunning pareo or other cover-up. Not that you need it - you're gorgeous, and your tummy area looks fantastic to me. But a nice cover-up could help bolster up your feelings of confidence and self-esteem.
    )

    My nephew's wedding was difficult at times, with seeing and avoiding my relative. But I was mostly able to concentrate on the event: I got to see my nephew overjoyed at marrying the love of his life, and participate in his celebration.

    I hope your party goes at least that well, and that you are able to mostly ignore your ex and his GF and have fun playing and celebrating with your son and his friends.

    Agree. 👌
  • Stockholm_AndyStockholm_Andy Member Posts: 668 Member Member Posts: 668 Member
    This is me today. Getting there but have belly that clearly isn't toned.....
    My body image is always dreadful. I cant bear to be seen by him in a swim suit.....

    You look amazing. *kitten* him :D

    Losing 36lbs is an amazing achievement and you should be proud of the new you. Besides who cares what he thinks you've moved on right. Show him you don't care and aren't phased.

    Also you might want to bribe some of the kids with candy to push him and his girlfriend into the pool.

    Now go and tidy up your bedroom ;)
  • pogiguy05pogiguy05 Member, Premium Posts: 1,583 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,583 Member
    #1 and most important this is your sons 8th Birthday Party and that is #1.

    #2 you look just fine now and just like the rest of us are a WORK IN PROGRESS.

    #3 stop caring what he says or thinks cause he is your EX and PAST.

    #4 my magic way of dealing with anything is well i cannot say that here or i would be banned for life. ;-) I just dont let what other people think or say effect me. I dont have time or energy for that kind of negativity and i will not allow it.Besides that I am my own worse enemy..........
  • FuzzipegFuzzipeg Member Posts: 2,037 Member Member Posts: 2,037 Member
    To the person who suggests the situation comes down to not being over the divorce, its not so much that but the effects it has on the child/children. (I may be reading more into some of this because of friends experiences) Things said to you are one thing, how the relationship between child and non resident parent progresses is up to the adult, too often I have seen the non resident not make a real effort to maintain a good relationship with their child. The absent adult seeing their situation as paramount. In my view, flaunting a new partner in the child's personal party is a step much too far.
  • torabelle79torabelle79 Member Posts: 63 Member Member Posts: 63 Member
    This is me today. Getting there but have belly that clearly isn't toned.....
    My body image is always dreadful. I cant bear to be seen by him in a swim suit.....

    You look amazing. *kitten* him :D

    Losing 36lbs is an amazing achievement and you should be proud of the new you. Besides who cares what he thinks you've moved on right. Show him you don't care and aren't phased.

    Also you might want to bribe some of the kids with candy to push him and his girlfriend into the pool.

    Now go and tidy up your bedroom ;)

    Hahaha!! Ah the bedroom was noticed!! Promise I don't live like a slob...... House is a show home....bedroom isn't!!
  • CandyspunCandyspun Member Posts: 371 Member Member Posts: 371 Member
    You look hot, either for someone who has or hasn't had kids, for starters. Secondly, this dude called you fat. This is your big chance to stick it to him! Find the most flattering swimsuit you possibly can and enjoy showing off your new bod! You're allowed to enjoy this. After having children myself, I sincerely hope I can get my stomach looking halfway close to looking as good as yours!
  • torabelle79torabelle79 Member Posts: 63 Member Member Posts: 63 Member
    Candyspun wrote: »
    You look hot, either for someone who has or hasn't had kids, for starters. Secondly, this dude called you fat. This is your big chance to stick it to him! Find the most flattering swimsuit you possibly can and enjoy showing off your new bod! You're allowed to enjoy this. After having children myself, I sincerely hope I can get my stomach looking halfway close to looking as good as yours!

    Such kind words (from everyone). They weren't even small babies. 10lb each!!
  • stewarm01stewarm01 Member Posts: 331 Member Member Posts: 331 Member
    @torrabell79, he's still "whining" by dictating your life.

    Take back your power!
  • yweight2020yweight2020 Member Posts: 258 Member Member Posts: 258 Member
    You look great, hold your head high, wear whats appropriate for you and the occasion be cordial to the ex and concentrate on your son. He's and ex for a reason, don't give him that power.
  • hoppgeorgehoppgeorge Member Posts: 368 Member Member Posts: 368 Member
    If I may be so bold as to assume that is you in your profile pic then he is CLEARLY and idiot 😉

    You have nothing to be ashamed of regardless. Keep working on you! You look awesome!! Enjoy the party!!
  • icemom011icemom011 Member Posts: 953 Member Member Posts: 953 Member
    You do look fantastic, it's his loss for leaving you. Try to ignore whatever influence he still has on you, it will not do you any good and will give all the power back to him. It's your party for your son, enjoy, have fun. I second that it's probably inappropriate for him to bring his new gf to his son's birthday party, but it's between you, guys. Be as confident as you can possibly be, and that will enhance your beauty even more. Fwiw, you look hot. Show it, be proud of who you are and how you look now.
  • nicholeuntnicholeunt Member Posts: 25 Member Member Posts: 25 Member
    You look amazing! Rock that new bod with grace and confidence. As others have said being a happy kind hostess will show him that you have decided that HE doesn't have power over you and your feelings anymore. Sometimes when we want to be a particular way, like brave or confident, and we're not feeling that way we just have to pretend. Do all you can to make yourself feel good and then stand tall and proud in who you are and how far you've come. Also, I love cute coverups and would be far more comfortable running around in that then just a bathing suit. You got this 😁
  • WendyannerobertsWendyanneroberts Member Posts: 266 Member Member Posts: 266 Member
    As others have said I think you look great as you are. Enjoy shopping to find the swimwear that looks great and you feel comfortable in. Don't let their presence spoil your celebration.

    The one thing that jumped out to me, when I first read your post (as a mum myself). That you have the one very special "thing" that the new girlfriend doesn't and that's "Your SON". Rejoice in this special relationship as you celebrate his birthday.
  • Evelyn_GorframEvelyn_Gorfram Member Posts: 706 Member Member Posts: 706 Member
    As others have said I think you look great as you are. Enjoy shopping to find the swimwear that looks great and you feel comfortable in. Don't let their presence spoil your celebration.

    The one thing that jumped out to me, when I first read your post (as a mum myself). That you have the one very special "thing" that the new girlfriend doesn't and that's "Your SON". Rejoice in this special relationship as you celebrate his birthday.
    ^ This. Absolutely this.

  • solieco1solieco1 Member, Premium Posts: 1,470 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,470 Member
    You look fantastic - no kidding and no false building you up. Take back your power. This is your life. Live it to the fullest. Do NOT let him own the space in your head! You are beautiful and strong and he has no power over you. Revel in that!
  • PsychgrrlPsychgrrl Member Posts: 3,029 Member Member Posts: 3,029 Member
    This is me today. Getting there but have belly that clearly isn't toned.....
    My body image is always dreadful. I cant bear to be seen by him in a swim suit.....

    You look amazing. *kitten* him :D

    Losing 36lbs is an amazing achievement and you should be proud of the new you. Besides who cares what he thinks you've moved on right. Show him you don't care and aren't phased.

    Also you might want to bribe some of the kids with candy to push him and his girlfriend into the pool.

    Now go and tidy up your bedroom ;)

    OMG! GREAT idea! I'm picturing something involving a wayward inflatable pool toy ...
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