What I Hate About Watching My Weight/New Lifestyle/Dieting, etc. (A Place to Vent)
Replies
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I fall outside of your “quite a few of us.” I was not eating in restaurants very much before (maybe 1-2 times/month, and then usually fast food or grocery-store deli), and my tasty treats were the cheapest I could find on sale.cheryldumais wrote: »I resent the ones out there who have 1900 calories (or more) a day for maintenance even though they are similar or lower weight, height and age as me.
I hate people assuming I can eat out anywhere now just because I am at maintenance. 1300 calories a day just doesn't go well with restaurant food.
Last is like many already stated, the ones who are trying to tell me I need to use their eating plan when they are still struggling with too much weight yet I've reached maintenance.
Rant over...........
on the bright side: saving a ton of money on eating out WAY less often than I used to (a 1900 long cardio day won't go very far with restaurant food either)... which brings me to another pet peeve of mine: the "it's so expensive to eat healthy" whiny people. No, No it's not... we got fat eating EXTRA food we no longer have to buy. ..And a lot of that extra food for quite a few of us wasn't exactly cheap (ie restaurants, tasty luxury items, etc).
Fresh, nutrient-dense foods tend to cost more than starchy foods stabilized with sugars and fats. Minimally prepared foods such as fresh produce can be fairly inexpensive, but sacrificing the convenience of pre-washed greens and cut-up chickens carries its own costs.
I’m not saying that I can’t afford to eat healthy (I can),; just that, for me, it is in no way cheaper.
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
I fall outside of your “quite a few of us.” I was not eating in restaurants very much before (maybe 1-2 times/month, and then usually fast food or grocery-store deli), and my tasty treats were the cheapest I could find on sale.cheryldumais wrote: »I resent the ones out there who have 1900 calories (or more) a day for maintenance even though they are similar or lower weight, height and age as me.
I hate people assuming I can eat out anywhere now just because I am at maintenance. 1300 calories a day just doesn't go well with restaurant food.
Last is like many already stated, the ones who are trying to tell me I need to use their eating plan when they are still struggling with too much weight yet I've reached maintenance.
Rant over...........
on the bright side: saving a ton of money on eating out WAY less often than I used to (a 1900 long cardio day won't go very far with restaurant food either)... which brings me to another pet peeve of mine: the "it's so expensive to eat healthy" whiny people. No, No it's not... we got fat eating EXTRA food we no longer have to buy. ..And a lot of that extra food for quite a few of us wasn't exactly cheap (ie restaurants, tasty luxury items, etc).
Fresh, nutrient-dense foods tend to cost more than starchy foods stabilized with sugars and fats. Minimally prepared foods such as fresh produce can be fairly inexpensive, but sacrificing the convenience of pre-washed greens and cut-up chickens carries its own costs.
I’m not saying that I can’t afford to eat healthy (I can),; just that, for me, it is in no way cheaper.
I disagree. I too spend less on food. I never went to fancy restaurants, (seldom even fast food, family restaurants, or deli items) or purchased “luxury” type foods. Shopping sales, buying bulk foods, and cooking and preparing food from scratch is less expensive than convenience items. Been there, done that (convenience foods). More servings per package for bulk vs convenience and preparing your own food. Maybe costs more initially, but many more meals.Time is definitely a factor, but you make time. Isn’t the health of you and your family worth the extra time involved? I realize some people are extremely busy, but most of us can find a few hours a week for meal preparation. It’s all about priorities. Your choice.
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"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP OFFERING ME YOUR FOOD YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT!"
Is what I would like to shout at some people.
Seriously though, I had to turn down cakes like 5 times yesterday, from the same person! Although one was by someone else on her behalf. Someone, who I would point out, had just refused the cake herself.
I suppose I'm more sensitive to this because I did used to be the human hoover, eating up anything my friends didn't want. But still!19 -
"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP OFFERING ME YOUR FOOD YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT!"
Is what I would like to shout at some people.
Seriously though, I had to turn down cakes like 5 times yesterday, from the same person! Although one was by someone else on her behalf. Someone, who I would point out, had just refused the cake herself.
I suppose I'm more sensitive to this because I did used to be the human hoover, eating up anything my friends didn't want. But still!
Don't you just hate when you are kept being offered stuff over and over - a no should be taken as a no. Its very annoying. When someone does that to me now I say a very firm no thanks, I'm full. It usually works so I think its all in how we say no
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Going through this process makes you realize just how massive the misinformation/disinformation campaign on weight management is. Nearly everything we've been taught or told is wrong.
You don't even have to delve deep to understand that the majority of diet plans are not designed for participant success, but for planned obsolescence.
" You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." - Morpheus
I guess we decided to take the red pill. Though, this rabbit hole is far deeper than I imagined. Still trying to find the bottom.4 -
I hate that, while I love eating healthier, I'm tired of the mental energy this takes sometimes. But I don't want to go back to the way I was eating before because I hate the way I feel about, both physically and emotionally. I feel like I'm caught in a void where I still want to enjoy food, which I do, but I just don't have the energy.
I also hate that I have lost 38.7 pounds and I still can't find workout clothes that for. I buy men's shirts which is fine. But what about bottoms? I have to either but cheap quality stuff from Walmart because they have my size, it spend a bunch of money and buy things online and hope they fit. Some of the online places that say they cater to plus size inly go up to 3X. I think, ok that should for me, but I look at the measurements for their 3X and I need what they would call a 4X or a 5X. Feels like poop. And bras! Do you know how hard of a time I have been having finding a high support bra for a 38DD-40D that costs less than $60? I know that doesn't seem like a lot but I'm not currently working at the moment. It's hard to justify to my husband that I need to spend $200 on bras because one won't cut it out I would be doing laundry 5 days a week. Running and jumping rope and jumping jacks all hurry in a medium support bra but that's where I'm at.
And I hate that I've lost that much weight but I still have so far to go. Not because I have so far to go but because I'm still so big that people don't want to talk about my weight. They either don't say anything which feels bad because it's like they don't see it. Or they say things like "you look great!!" and that's it. Feels good on the surface but what they're not saying is "have you lost weight?" because they don't want to point out my weight.
And I hate that my brain and my body aren't in the same spot. Every. Either I feel like I'm still as heavy as I was, or I feel like I'm farther along. Both feel equally awful. The first just generally feels awful and depressing. The second feels good for a hot minute but then I think I could go shopping for a new shirt or s cute dress and I have a sad realization that nothing for and I feel *kitten* about my progress despite the fact that I'm right where I should be too continue doing this healthily. Or sometimes I'm just mad that I feel like my body should be able to do more at this point. I should be able to run for longer periods of time. I should be able to kick harder. I should be able to hike faster. I'm doing the things I should be doing to improve endurance but don't feel like I'm making progress.
Mostly I feel good about things despite this rant. But it just feels exhausting to have to carry those emotions while still trying to get rid of it negative emotions. Why can't we all just have normal, healthy relationships with food and exercise and self worth!?!?32 -
LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP OFFERING ME YOUR FOOD YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT!"
Is what I would like to shout at some people.
Seriously though, I had to turn down cakes like 5 times yesterday, from the same person! Although one was by someone else on her behalf. Someone, who I would point out, had just refused the cake herself.
I suppose I'm more sensitive to this because I did used to be the human hoover, eating up anything my friends didn't want. But still!
Don't you just hate when you are kept being offered stuff over and over - a no should be taken as a no. Its very annoying. When someone does that to me now I say a very firm no thanks, I'm full. It usually works so I think its all in how we say no
My sports team has rookies bring in cupcakes for their first practice. I got asked did I want to smell them last time.
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I hate depending on a carefully crafted routine and lifestyle apart from most of society to stay healthy because the flow of cultural behavior is towards poor health. If anything disrupts it, I pay the price. And there are a lot of disruptions in life. Even the good disruptions are trouble. 😭18
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I hate depending on a carefully crafted routine and lifestyle apart from most of society to stay healthy because the flow of cultural behavior is towards poor health. If anything disrupts it, I pay the price. And there are a lot of disruptions in life. Even the good disruptions are trouble. 😭
This is me as well. My diet change was made due to a medical condition. I cannot eat what other people are eating 90% of the time. So eating out, or going to any social event is basically out of the question. If I plan a long road trip, I have to pack food because I can't depend on being able to find something to eat along the way. Staying over night at my parents means that I have to bring food with me for the duration of my stay... I HATE that I am constantly thinking and planning out my meals. And I HATE that it separates me from my friends, family, and coworkers.
But I'm not mad about the 45 lbs I've lost in the last 6months
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WillingtoLose1001984 wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »kommodevaran wrote: »What is "naturally fat"?
An imaginary condition that occurs with lack of personal accountability. In very rare cases could be caused by a medical issue, but not likely.
That is really judgmental and I really disagree. So do children lack personal accountability? I have a sister and she is underweight/bordering underweight and her children are as well. I have always been heavy. I was 20-30 lbs overweight from the time I was 8 or so years old. My son is the same way. We were raised in the same household with the same parents. So much of weight is genetic. I did gain a lot, over 100 lbs in 5 months, on medications though. For some reason it just made my appetite become enormous and it was a known drug for weight gain. I've always had a hard time losing weight as well because I feel hungry constantly and I hate feeling hungry. I have lost over 100 lbs with a lot of added activity. While I have a harder time reigning in my appetite, exercise comes more easily for me and I enjoy pretty much anything.
Okay, not to the "naturally fat" discussion, but - YES. Children DO lack personal accountability. Not that they don't have ANY, but that they don't have the same level of understanding we expect from adults. And that's normal and reasonable.10 -
Okay, so really, I have to dredge deep, because obviously, losing the weight, having good blood pressure, good glucose, etc. is better than eating whatever I want and being obese. BUT since this is a venting thread, here is only the things I hate about this new lifestyle:
I hate that all the foods I love the most are the most fattening.
I hate that I have such an emotional attachment to food and that when any emotion crosses my path, my first thought is to go to food.
I hate that I feel like I can either have a social life or have my health regiment, but I can't seem to have both.
I hate it when you have friends that complain about their "fat arms", which are less than half the size of your fat arms even though you both eat about the same. (Maybe even less, as you don't drink as much as your friend)
I hate thinking about the holidays and the foods I will have to avoid.18 -
PEOPLE who know the plan you are following because they see what you eat (i.e., co-workers, close friends) but insist that they know a better way, why just look at them, they are thin...and yet you know they have NEVER had a weight issue. that is really what bothers me. and just wishing I never had to worry about mine ever again!!!14
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Another vent in regard "I don't have money to lose weight, eat better, exercise, etc" ... yes it takes money to feed yourself and get a modest amount of exercise equipment. But walking is free. It's not necessary to pay for weight loss or life coaches, or even a personal trainer. Therapists aren't necessary unless you have an extreme or life threatening issue. There's many free options to help the weight loss journey, like this one!
I was just yelled at on IG for saying diets can't fix the emotional or mental issues involved in obesity. Obviously I hit a nerve, because the person gave me a real snarky reply saying she didn't have the money to fix her issues toward food, so how can she possibly lose weight. But yet I know plenty who worked it out for free.
I'm not wealthy, but I'm doing the work and I'm tired of people coming at me with attitude about finances stopping them from getting their stuff together.35 -
I hate that I don't have my own pool so I didn't have to wait for lanes at the gym.
Also - I hate people pointing out that I lost weight.. like several times in a month. Yeah I am trying to lose weight, I don't need the outside "encouragement" which actually makes me feel awkward trying to acknowledge.24 -
That I know I have to do this for life. There is nothing natural or intuitive to it for me.
If not I'll keep on eating well, but slightly larger and larger portions. I'll start eating cake or croissants every couple of days instead of the weekly treat it is right now. I'll eat fries one night (which is fine) and again the following night. I'll forget that eating salads with very little dressing is a great meal and I'll start adding one piece of bread or more dressing. I'll stop eating salads as a meal because it's a P I T A to slice and dice and shred all those vegetables. I'll forget that being hungry is OK and act like I am solving world hunger with my next meal.
Slippery slope. That's what I hate about watching my weight: knowing it's for life.41 -
carolynsutton6 wrote: »*Snipped for brevity*
I hate thinking about the holidays and the foods I will have to avoid.
I don't avoid anything on holidays (the actual day of the celebration - the weeks leading up to and after require more restraint, I'll admit). It's not what you eat those 3 or 4 days a year - it's what you eat on all the rest of them.24 -
I don't avoid anything on holidays (the actual day of the celebration - the weeks leading up to and after require more restraint, I'll admit). It's not what you eat those 3 or 4 days a year - it's what you eat on all the rest of them.
I have too much emotion tied to certain foods - fries, donuts - that at this point, I've had to remove them completely from my diet. I have a whole list of holiday foods I love - including homemade caramel - but I don't know that I can actually control myself to have one and not touch the entire pan. I know everyone isn't that way, but that's where I am right now.21 -
Er?missysippy930 wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
I fall outside of your “quite a few of us.” I was not eating in restaurants very much before (maybe 1-2 times/month, and then usually fast food or grocery-store deli), and my tasty treats were the cheapest I could find on sale.cheryldumais wrote: »I resent the ones out there who have 1900 calories (or more) a day for maintenance even though they are similar or lower weight, height and age as me.
I hate people assuming I can eat out anywhere now just because I am at maintenance. 1300 calories a day just doesn't go well with restaurant food.
Last is like many already stated, the ones who are trying to tell me I need to use their eating plan when they are still struggling with too much weight yet I've reached maintenance.
Rant over...........
on the bright side: saving a ton of money on eating out WAY less often than I used to (a 1900 long cardio day won't go very far with restaurant food either)... which brings me to another pet peeve of mine: the "it's so expensive to eat healthy" whiny people. No, No it's not... we got fat eating EXTRA food we no longer have to buy. ..And a lot of that extra food for quite a few of us wasn't exactly cheap (ie restaurants, tasty luxury items, etc).
Fresh, nutrient-dense foods tend to cost more than starchy foods stabilized with sugars and fats. Minimally prepared foods such as fresh produce can be fairly inexpensive, but sacrificing the convenience of pre-washed greens and cut-up chickens carries its own costs.
I’m not saying that I can’t afford to eat healthy (I can),; just that, for me, it is in no way cheaper.
I disagree. I too spend less on food. I never went to fancy restaurants, (seldom even fast food, family restaurants, or deli items) or purchased “luxury” type foods. Shopping sales, buying bulk foods, and cooking and preparing food from scratch is less expensive than convenience items. Been there, done that (convenience foods). More servings per package for bulk vs convenience and preparing your own food. Maybe costs more initially, but many more meals.Time is definitely a factor, but you make time. Isn’t the health of you and your family worth the extra time involved? I realize some people are extremely busy, but most of us can find a few hours a week for meal preparation. It’s all about priorities. Your choice.
Shopping sales, buying in bulk, and cooking & preparing from scratch all save money, yes. But they don't necessarily help you lose weight. I can prepare some very low nutrient calorie-dense meals from scratch ingredients bought in bulk on sale. (...Say, how many corn fritters do you suppose I can fit in the freezer?
)
Convenience foods are something else I seldom bought before I started losing weight; so, again, I'm missing out on all the big savings there.
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jillstreett wrote: »I hate knowing the amount of calories in everything I like at restaurants now! I've looked up and researched almost all my favorites to exhaustion. I mean, yes, knowing so you can track is great! But I just want one meal of total oblivion where I have honestly no idea how many calories are in something and I eat it, and don't look back!
This is me too. It sort of kills the joy of eating for me realizing how many calories are in my favorite foods, and thinking, "ok, I'll just get the grilled chicken". At least I like chicken, but if I eat 2000 calories in one day, let alone one meal, it kills 3 days of deficit for me.11 -
Loving the changes, but of course there is still stuff I hate!
I hate that everyone thinks I'm going to give up. I tried to keep it a secret from the family to avoid judgement.
I hate that at holidays my family pressures me to eat desserts because "It's the holidays, you can't start a diet now- you can binge on holidays".
I hate that I'm afraid I will slip, and the judgement that will ensue.
I hate that if I treat myself to something small (one cookie, or an oz of sausage, or some sushi) that I'm going to be judged for it, or questioned why I'm eating it, and if it means I'm done with my 'diet'.
Another thing I hate is having to say 'diet' or people referring to it as a my diet. It really is a life style change, I'm not planning on giving up after reaching my goal weight!
I hate that I'm questioned on all my choices. "I thought you were staying away from cereal?" "I thought you said that was healthy." "I thought you said that was unhealthy." I really don't know what I'm doing, I'm figuring it out as I go, and new information keeps coming up! All I know is it's working.
And most of all, I hate that someone who told me "You shouldn't lose weight, you'd look ugly. You wouldn't look right. You've always been big, it just fits you," is now trying to be a part of my journey, and saying positive things like "Wow, looks like you lost weight! You can definitely tell." Nah I'd rather you continue to be rude, to fuel my motivation.
Wow, I guess I hate a lot of things haha. I'm sure I could go on
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toughmuther wrote: »When people ask my advise on what I do and I tell them (keto) and they act like I ran their dog over. I have to listen to a million reasons why it won't work for them and how this isn't sustainable. Hey you asked, I told.
That also applies for every other method. I get the same reactions by telling people my "secret" is to just eat less. Then I get a million reasons why that isn't true because of carbs, sugar, salt or whatever screwy food logic they're currently believing.18 -
Knowing how little a TBSP of peanut butter really is. 15g of peanut butter is just depressing.32
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I miss all the time I used to have. Exercising has made me much stronger, faster, and more fit, and it keeps my blood sugar under control, but it does take time. I used to have hobbies other than working out and running and I miss them.
I also resent that when I drive down a road I am surrounded by inexpensive restaurants which are all bad choices for me. Yes, I could probably find SOMETHING safe to eat at the place advertising Chicago style hot dogs and turtle sundaes, but I can't safely eat a Chicago style hot dog without purchasing low carb buns, and I will never eat a turtle sundae again unless I want my levels to skyrocket. Same for pizza, BBQ, burger joints, sandwich joints, basically everything on both sides of the entire ten mile strip of road I have to drive daily. There are a few restaurants here, mostly ethnic, which serve healthy food and I'm grateful. But they are expensive, they tend to have shorter than usual hours, and none of them deliver.13 -
It is slow but I dont mind, I like the process ;D
And a little positivity in this discussion;
You are enough and beautiful. And you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 -
Me
No patience when it comes to this.20 -
You are quite right, and I am living proof.New_Heavens_Earth wrote: »Another vent in regard "I don't have money to lose weight, eat better, exercise, etc" ... yes it takes money to feed yourself and get a modest amount of exercise equipment. But walking is free. It's not necessary to pay for weight loss or life coaches, or even a personal trainer. Therapists aren't necessary unless you have an extreme or life threatening issue. There's many free options to help the weight loss journey, like this one!
I was just yelled at on IG for saying diets can't fix the emotional or mental issues involved in obesity. Obviously I hit a nerve, because the person gave me a real snarky reply saying she didn't have the money to fix her issues toward food, so how can she possibly lose weight. But yet I know plenty who worked it out for free.
I'm not wealthy, but I'm doing the work and I'm tired of people coming at me with attitude about finances stopping them from getting their stuff together.
I live on social security disability, get food stamps, and "shop" at the food bank. My disability severely limits my ability to exercise; and, honey, I have got more issues than National Geographic.
And I'm losing weight.
Would it be easier with a larger grocery budget, a modest amount of exercise equipment, a weight loss coach, a life coach, a personal trainer, and/or a therapist? *kitten* yeah! Everything's easier with more money - in a way, that's what money is about.
But it's certainly possible to lose weight even if you live on an officially defined "low income."
OTOH, and because apparently I'm cranky tonight, please allow me my own vent about the bolded text above:
walking is free
....And walking shoes aren't.
You gotta have proper well-made walking shoes. You gotta have arch support. And you gotta have cushioning. (And, because the universe runs on irony, I wouldn't need so much cushioning in my walking shoes if I didn't need to lose so much weight.) Worst of all, you're supposed to buy new ones every 500 miles, or else once or twice a year.
(Don't get me wrong: it's not that I can't afford good walking shoes. It's just that I have to work at it.)
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You poor person!Evieseriously wrote: »Loving the changes, but of course there is still stuff I hate!
I hate that everyone thinks I'm going to give up. I tried to keep it a secret from the family to avoid judgement.
I hate that at holidays my family pressures me to eat desserts because "It's the holidays, you can't start a diet now- you can binge on holidays".
I hate that I'm afraid I will slip, and the judgement that will ensue.
I hate that if I treat myself to something small (one cookie, or an oz of sausage, or some sushi) that I'm going to be judged for it, or questioned why I'm eating it, and if it means I'm done with my 'diet'.
Another thing I hate is having to say 'diet' or people referring to it as a my diet. It really is a life style change, I'm not planning on giving up after reaching my goal weight!
I hate that I'm questioned on all my choices. "I thought you were staying away from cereal?" "I thought you said that was healthy." "I thought you said that was unhealthy." I really don't know what I'm doing, I'm figuring it out as I go, and new information keeps coming up! All I know is it's working.
And most of all, I hate that someone who told me "You shouldn't lose weight, you'd look ugly. You wouldn't look right. You've always been big, it just fits you," is now trying to be a part of my journey, and saying positive things like "Wow, looks like you lost weight! You can definitely tell." Nah I'd rather you continue to be rude, to fuel my motivation.
Wow, I guess I hate a lot of things haha. I'm sure I could go on
It sounds like you're surrounded by a bunch of dic- ...er, rude and and inconsiderate people who seem to be expressing their own apparently substantial emotional problems by judging and criticizing you. 
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I hate working hard every day staying constantly active being diligent about logging and choosing wisely and because I am at that last stubborn 18 lbs to get to what I consider the perfect weight for me, I see minimal progress on the scale. I know all of the reasons for this, I read other's posts nauseam. (height, age, gender, genetics, science, etc.) "But this is me!", my inner 2-year-old whines.
I already sometimes wistfully miss just sitting around, binge watching Hulu, Netflix, Amazon, personal library of videos, while mindlessly stuffing my face with whatever. Shouldn't I be rewarded with constant, consistent quid pro quo evidence on the scale!?!
Ugh! After reading this, I want to punch myself in the arm.
I think I need to go run. 20 -
I can sometimes head this off with: "I don't have any real secret, it's just plain old diet and exercise. I call it the 'Hard Work and Leafy Greens' Diet."toughmuther wrote: »When people ask my advise on what I do and I tell them (keto) and they act like I ran their dog over. I have to listen to a million reasons why it won't work for them and how this isn't sustainable. Hey you asked, I told.
That also applies for every other method. I get the same reactions by telling people my "secret" is to just eat less. Then I get a million reasons why that isn't true because of carbs, sugar, salt or whatever screwy food logic they're currently believing.
Sometimes. Other times I have to just listen, and have to stop myself from sarcastically agreeing with them: "Oh, yes, of course. I've found that putting mandrake root up your nose* is the only effective way to lose weight."
(*joke - please nobody put mandrake root up their nose.)9
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