Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?

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  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    {{{{*CUE happy 1950's-1960's happy-go-lucky, snappy and happy (corny?!?) children's music*}}}}}

    Okay, BOOM! I asked our children (combo of teens and young adults) if they would kindly contribute to the LET IT GO bag (a big ole extra large leaf black bag) by going in their rooms and declutter their rooms by LETTING GO of everything they have, perhaps maybe love, but haven't used or worn and is just sitting around collecting dust and contributing to mess and ugh/yuck in their rooms and to please get rid of at least somethings--a lot of somethings they really don't need and/or want.

    They said (without a tinge of "tude" nor anything other than instant agreement and dare I say ....JOY?!?) They filled up 2 big ole bags of stuff and their rooms look marvelous. I'm so shocked and THRILLED. No fuss, No Muss, NO asking more than once, instant compliance and they all just did it with the BEST attitude ever. The whole gang here is now officially on the LET IT GO AND DON'T LOOK BACK train and it's THRILLING, YA HEAR ME, THRILLLLLLLLLINGGGGGG....boom---Boom---BOOOOOM!

    P.S. YAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

    That's wonderful! Not only for you, but for your kids as this hopefully becomes habit for them! What a great gift to give them!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Didn't really do anything about de-cluttering this weekend except move a couple things from the bench by my door to the car. One step closer to the thrift shop.

    I moved my summer clothes to the back of the closet last night while I was putting laundry away. I'm battling with myself whether I should trust that I will continue on my downward trend this winter and these clothes will be too big next year. They were all getting loose this summer, but I don't want to get rid of them and then need them. By the time summer rolls around again we will be knee deep in wedding expenses for my daughter so I know I won't have money to spend on myself. I think that I will compromise with myself on this a little bit. If I am still losing in January I will get rid of them. I know if I can make it through to then I'll be good. I always get the need to lose hitting me in February LOL

    I feel like I've let myself down in September and didn't reach my goals. I did lose, but no where near what I was hoping to. I'll take it a loss is a loss after all. Hopefully, October I can be more disciplined.

    @Snowflake1968

    Think of September and October as just human names for abstract divisions. Cats don't think in "months".

    You lost weight. Yay for you!

    If you're not losing 0.5 lb per week on average, perhaps you need to tighten up your logging. We always under-guesstimate weight of food.

    Weigh calorie-dense food like chicken, salmon, avocado, rice, crisps, bread, potatoes, on a digital food scale in grams. Measure liquids such as soft drinks and milk drinks in millilitres.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    AJB1014 wrote: »
    I have one pair of kahkis, two pairs of linen pants, and an abundance of leggings/yoga pants - ALL of which are too big but it's all I've got at the moment! I seriously hate shopping and usually order online - but I have no idea what size I even am right now. So I'm working up the courage to get out there and get one pair of jeans. I think I'll try dressbarn, and old navy - usually cheap enough and fit decent. Not sure why it's taking such a kick in the pants to get me to do this??! Will have lots more clothes to donate soon.

    @AJB1014 Sympathy! I hate trying on clothes!

    A tape measure is a good friend. :smile: Online is the way to go.

    Every clothing company's measurements are slightly different.

    I've become used to checking their online store Size Guides for their measurements and buying according to those.

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Decluttering literally helped me get myself out of depression. I was living in a studio apartment with a boyfriend I had stopped really respecting as a person. It took me a year to wrench myself out of a tv-watching, friend-avoiding, fast-food-binging, no-laundry-doing, no-cooking, couch-laying slump and finally break up with him and move out.

    When I moved out and back in with my parents, I was putting my things in my small room and I just came up with a little rule out of nowhere. I told myself "if I can't find or create a place for an item, I have to throw it away." This little rule helped me donate a ton of clothes, give away a bunch of unnecessary items I was saving for no reason, and keep perfect track of all my belongings. I had always ALWAYS been a messy child and a messy adult, but this little rule (and a few others that came along) just helped me become and STAY organized. I started making my bed every day, putting things away as soon as I was done, keeping clothes in the closet or in the hamper, washing dishes immediately instead of keeping them in the sink for days. My life and home habits are totally different, and they've STAYED that way. It was amazing, and it all came of a little rule shift.

    This sense of living in an organized space gives me so much less anxiety in my home, and I carried it along with me to my new apartment. Having one thing in order made it easier to get other things in my life in order, like my calendar, my emails, my work, and my nutrition.

    @gallicinvasion What a beautiful post. :heart: I can't begin to say how many awesome things there are about it. Thank you.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    Hey gang~

    I want to discuss (please do add some of thoughts too, okay) on another area of major importance in helping us not only LET GO of the mess and "weight which does so EASILY beset us), but really...take a serious look at a sneaking little "problem" that I personally had (this decluttering all things (inside and out) has truly helped me with and that's the nasty little varmint called...ANGER. I know many people will definitely poo-poo (or better yet woo) the notion that anger and weight gain and living in and with a lot of clutter, stress, sleeplessness, overeating and over-indulging in all kinds of coutner-productive YUCK and mess are sooooo connected. I personally have experienced the YUCK of anger, by "bothering" to keeping it in (going along to get along) and/or blasting someone to smithereens (verbally) because they DARED to not do what I wanted them to, I didn't get my way about something or other or even real and justified "anger" at some injustice, slight, hurt feeling and/or (fill in the blank). Have you noticed when we are angry with someone...we're usually guilty ourselves of if not the exact same thing, close to it OR if we are not guilty of this particular thing that's getting out goat...we could be and it's only by THe Grace of God we're not that particular yuck of what we're so angry at or about or with...YIKES!

    Allowing the "spirit/disposition/attitude" of ANGER just jacked me up mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially and especially physically. Once I DARED to peek behind the dreaded, deceitful/unreality and dastardly self pitying curtain of "my" anger--BAM! All kinds of truths and "revelations" and shockingly/disturbing things began to show themselves to me (hence one of the main reasons for starting this thread).

    Anger is one of the root causes for so much yuck and self-imposed imprisonment and more. WE CAN'T WON'T
    CHANGE PEOPLE. No matter how much we whine, cry, fret, worry, threaten, flatter, pay-back, etc. it will NOT work. Using anger to "try" to get our way will only end up with us being on the short end of an ugly stick. Anger is not only addictive, it's comforting in some dysfunctional way. Anger is something we've GOT to reckon with and then LET IT GO, period. We tend to excuse or justify using anger as some sort of "righteousness" or motivation...it's a lie. We MUST replace anger with something productive and edifying if we want to be FREE from a whole lot of mess/stress and unnecessary YUCK. We don't have to continue to worship/serve our anger another second. That's NOT to say we'll be instantly "delivered" from anger, but if we choose to SEE it and call it out for what it is in us, that's half the battle. Much like the battle of the bulge and decluttering--it's NOT an I've arrived", but instead it's a I SEE YOU ANGER and you'll NOT have your way with and in me deal. Anger is a major cause of probably 80% of our issues...let's face it with a "perhaps I'm wrong" or I don't like this or that and will not put up with it and DO THE HARD WORK of changing things (perhaps slowly but surely) but again, no allowing anger to rule and reign in our hearts, minds, lives and homes! RECOGNIZING the super slick and subtle disguises "anger" uses in our ways of thinking and being and making choices. Handling our business if we must "permit" anger within us, that we CHOOSE to "exercise" anger ONLY as our "servant/slave" and no longer our "master/boss" (meaning we're in control...NOT the anger) AND Boom--watch what productive and wonderful things begin happening in and thru our hearts, minds, lives and homes!

    What do you think of these things?
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    charlie9er wrote: »
    So this month is SERIOUS declutter month for me.

    We have totes in storage from when we moved here two years ago. A) I’m paying $80 a month to store B) stuff I don’t even miss or know what’s in there!! My goal is to bring home a few totes every week so it doesn’t seem like a daunting chore at month end.

    Also not really declutter, more like replace clutter but I bought a whole new work & workout wardrobe at a JCP “I’d be dumb not to buy it” sale, seriously almost $1,000 worth of clothes for $100!!

    I’m wearing work clothes that could be considered retro or old school. Pants from 2005, tops from 2010 & my “newest” work purchase was 2 skirts, 2 years ago. Most of my clothes are from my Wisconsin days & don’t fit in my now Florida days.

    I’ve just started to exercise so I bought a few workout tops as well.

    This weekend I’m going thru ALL my clothes & shoes (even my beloved flip flop collection) & if I haven’t worn it lately, it’s not comfortable or it’s seen better days then it’s outta here!!!

    Decluttering feels soooooo good!!! Even when the scale is not my friend, I feel lighter & definitely HAPPIER!!! 😁

    Wow...you're doing it--you're awesome, period.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    edited October 2018
    Anger?

    Often when we feel crappy about ourselves, our voices have a tone that can sound like anger to others.

    This tend to lead to crappy conversations.

    The trick is to notice yourself doing it, and moderate your tone. This way you head off a confrontation at the pass.

    ETA: one day, for example, I found myself and DH in a heated discussion, and I did a self-check and said,
    "Can we not have this discussion in an argumentative tone?".
    It helped us, and also my sister when I told her about it.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Anger is a big one for me. I was getting mad at DH when I first started this decluttering adventure, because he wasn't doing anything to help. Then NewLifestyle4me posted about just do it, and with a smile! I have tried since then to not sweat the petty things, in all areas. (I'm trying) And now DH is helping some.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    Orphia wrote: »
    Anger?

    Often when we feel crappy about ourselves, our voices have a tone that can sound like anger to others.

    This tend to lead to crappy conversations.

    The trick is to notice yourself doing it, and moderate your tone. This way you head off a confrontation at the pass.

    ETA: one day, for example, I found myself and DH in a heated discussion, and I did a self-check and said,
    "Can we not have this discussion in an argumentative tone?".
    It helped us, and also my sister when I told her about it.

    Girllllll, THANKS so much for posting this. My tone of voice (and facial expressions) can definitely be a contributing factor for engaging in and escalating >:) ANGER/ANGRY >:) communications/feelings--for sure. NEVER even thought of that actually. Reminds me of The Word that instructs me: "a soft answer turns away wrath" I'm going to SO meditate and CHANGE (by recognizing and forsaking)a "rough/condescending/UNNECESSARY and YUCK tone of voice from now on!!!! Why? Because it doesn't work, period. Also, because quite frankly I'm better than that and I don't like and refuse to tolerate any "mess/stuff" in my heart and mind about anything anymore. Why? Cause I'm GROWN and I don't have to have a spoil-brat and/or malcontent "tude" about anything anymore. I'm too old for that mess, period.

    I was "taught/trained" the old-school way of correcting my children using only giving them "THE EYE" when they were misbehaving and though using/giving the "The EYE" worked like a charm when they were children (just like it did for me from my mother giving me "the eye" when I was young). I haven't conscientiously considered that I still use "the eye" with folk when I'm "smelling myself" (as my parents used to say) and getting/being angry about "stuff". It DEFINITELY fuels "anger" in and thru me and I'll "watch it" from now on. Girl, "tone of voice" indeed. I truly am grateful for your post about this. Thank you O o:)<3o:)
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Anger is a big one for me. I was getting mad at DH when I first started this decluttering adventure, because he wasn't doing anything to help. Then NewLifestyle4me posted about just do it, and with a smile! I have tried since then to not sweat the petty things, in all areas. (I'm trying) And now DH is helping some.

    Girl, you are so fabulous, just ALWAYS making me smile and THINK! Honey, I HAD to adopt that way of thinking and acting/reacting and guess what? IT WORKS! I love you sharing/using this example so much. Honey, that DO IT YOURSELF AND DO IT WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE, NOT BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, BUT BECAUSE YOU "GET TO" AND ARE THE BOMB.COM LIKE THAT.

    It's NOT our "job" to fix people, getting mad doesn't help anyone and only hurts...US and hurts us something fierce, truly crazymaking--wow, yuck. Again, what helps us "fix" stuff is quit looking for people to do stuff with or for us and simply DO IT YOURSELF AND DO IT WITH JOY AND SMILE ON YOUR FACE, PERIOD. How powerful that truly is...not merely for us, but for those around us and in our lives/homes. Girl--that business of "expectation" of/from others is truly a destructive "setting ourselves up for YUCK to spread it's foul and cantankerous anger and mess and worse, IT DOESN'T WORK. Same goes for our weight-loss adventure, we MUST be our own cheerleaders and once we do--it's ON and here comes fabulous results, slowly but surely...HERE THEY COME--BOOM! :smiley:


    DO IT YOURSELF and WITH JOY AND A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART--that super and immediately destroys all that anger, revenge, wrath, and yuck and immediately brings about getting things done (the way YOU want to--the ole "ya want something done right, DO IT YOURSELF"), calms us down, fills us with humility and power and is just right and righteous and what happens then,,,BOOM! Here come some help, even if it's just a tad bit. Like my children utterly decluttering their rooms last week. I simply asked one time and they had the best atttudes ever. Why? Because they've been "learning" by seeing me DO IT MYSELF and that makes them respect and honor me more and helps me respect and honor myself even more. THANK YOU SNOO for posting this, you ROCK!
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    Anger?

    Often when we feel crappy about ourselves, our voices have a tone that can sound like anger to others.

    This tend to lead to crappy conversations.

    The trick is to notice yourself doing it, and moderate your tone. This way you head off a confrontation at the pass.

    ETA: one day, for example, I found myself and DH in a heated discussion, and I did a self-check and said,
    "Can we not have this discussion in an argumentative tone?".
    It helped us, and also my sister when I told her about it.

    This is my reality. I get witchy when I'm not happy with myself. I've been trying to moderate, successfully more often, my attitude and tone of voice.
  • AJB1014
    AJB1014 Posts: 1,380 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    AJB1014 wrote: »
    I have one pair of kahkis, two pairs of linen pants, and an abundance of leggings/yoga pants - ALL of which are too big but it's all I've got at the moment! I seriously hate shopping and usually order online - but I have no idea what size I even am right now. So I'm working up the courage to get out there and get one pair of jeans. I think I'll try dressbarn, and old navy - usually cheap enough and fit decent. Not sure why it's taking such a kick in the pants to get me to do this??! Will have lots more clothes to donate soon.

    @AJB1014 Sympathy! I hate trying on clothes!

    A tape measure is a good friend. :smile: Online is the way to go.

    Every clothing company's measurements are slightly different.

    I've become used to checking their online store Size Guides for their measurements and buying according to those.

    So insightful! Thank you for the tip, gives me some of that courage to try it out!
  • AJB1014
    AJB1014 Posts: 1,380 Member
    AJB1014 wrote: »
    I have one pair of kahkis, two pairs of linen pants, and an abundance of leggings/yoga pants - ALL of which are too big but it's all I've got at the moment! I seriously hate shopping and usually order online - but I have no idea what size I even am right now. So I'm working up the courage to get out there and get one pair of jeans. I think I'll try dressbarn, and old navy - usually cheap enough and fit decent. Not sure why it's taking such a kick in the pants to get me to do this??! Will have lots more clothes to donate soon.

    HEY!!!! Nice to hear from ya {{{ <3 Hugs <3 }}} Are you all done and settled in with the moving? Hope all is fabulous on that front. Girl, I totally "get-it" and love the way you phrase it "working up the "courage", because that's really what it boils down to. Wow! I get it. Let me share what you already know, once you get started...it's ON. Getting started is slap in the face, a kick in the behind and a knock-out punch to/for whatever issues we're struggling with.

    Thank you!!! I've got about a dozen boxes left in the spare bedroom that I havent missed living without - so I'm going to declutter those before I unpack them too! And I went to dressbarn. It was an all around great experience. A SIZE 10! I could not believe it. But those jeans gave me LIFE this weekend. You are so right - it's ON now that I'm loving myself in clothes that fit!!!
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Count down to meeting my 6+ years (started Mfp 6+ LONG years ago at 219.8lbs) to meet/WELCOMING of the so-called "normal" BMI weight. GOAL=153lbs after vainly and tirelessly trying EVERYTHING in the book over the past 6+ years to permanently LET GO of the excess, unhealthy, unattractive, unnecessary fat and yuck from out of my mind/heart/spirit, and off of my body AND out of my environment/life ).

    Finally after ALL this time and continuing PROCESS of, "learning&doing/applying what I'm learning DAILY" to LET IT GO AND DON'T LOOK BACK (decluttering and humbling myself to get rid of ALL of the "mess and stress" from out of my head, heart, spirit, letting GO of toxic relationships and toxic THINKING/BEHAVING myself and out of my home (inside and outside) has been a major KEY to my success (at long last)--starting in November/December of 2017
    vheco40m3s1h.jpeg


    66ekq40gatco.png

    As of today, I'm 157.6lbs and that's 4,6lbs away from my goal of 153lbs (aka no longer obese, no longer overweight). After that, I'll be making a new goal of 139-145lbs.

    I'm posting this to let you all know that taking your time, getting rid of/LETTING GO of the stress and mess out of your lives will help you reach all kinds of goals, including weight blastification, it really will. Will you still/continue to have stress and mess in your life after meeting your weight blastification goals and totally decluttering? YEP, you will and that's part of the joy/fun of living...learning and the fabulous MAINTENANCE state of all we're doing. Getting there is one fabulous stage, MAINTAINING your wins is a whole nother wonderful kettle of fish. Why wonderful? Because maintance will keep us humble and help us to live the rest of our lives being not mere champions, but ever learning and growing-I LOVE THAT!!

    Also please know that if/since I can do this, literally ANYONE CAN, for realz--BOOM o:)<3o:)

    ETA: I am accomplishing this success by eating whatever I want to (NO RESTRICTIONS ON ANYTHING AT ALL--this includes a lot of eating/dining out and junk foods). The major difference is that I am eating far smaller portions of whatever I eat and less frequently than when I was obese/fat. I'm actually eating a lot like when I was stick skinny in my youth and before children. I also am NOT and have not exercised AT ALL. The only "exercise" I am doing is N.E.A.T. exercising=decluttering, household chores, (daily) and walking to and from the grocery store instead of driving (2-3 times per week--about 4-5 miles in total-back and forth). Also, I REFUSE to allow stress and mess to overcome me now. LETTING GO of toxic people. places and things is a major contributing factor in my winning these battles of the bulge and decluttering/mess/messy thinking and living

    Nice job (and slippers)!! Its great to know it can happen without diet restrictions. I also eat whatever I feel like. It won't help me to lose the weight and binge on all the food I denied myself. I'm trying to be realistic. :)
  • IHaveMyActTogether
    IHaveMyActTogether Posts: 945 Member
    Great job!!!!!!!!
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Orphia wrote: »
    Anger?

    Often when we feel crappy about ourselves, our voices have a tone that can sound like anger to others.

    This tend to lead to crappy conversations.

    The trick is to notice yourself doing it, and moderate your tone. This way you head off a confrontation at the pass.

    ETA: one day, for example, I found myself and DH in a heated discussion, and I did a self-check and said,
    "Can we not have this discussion in an argumentative tone?".
    It helped us, and also my sister when I told her about it.

    This is my reality. I get witchy when I'm not happy with myself. I've been trying to moderate, successfully more often, my attitude and tone of voice.

    o:)<3o:)


    snoo61 wrote: »
    Count down to meeting my 6+ years (started Mfp 6+ LONG years ago at 219.8lbs) to meet/WELCOMING of the so-called "normal" BMI weight. GOAL=153lbs after vainly and tirelessly trying EVERYTHING in the book over the past 6+ years to permanently LET GO of the excess, unhealthy, unattractive, unnecessary fat and yuck from out of my mind/heart/spirit, and off of my body AND out of my environment/life ).

    Finally after ALL this time and continuing PROCESS of, "learning&doing/applying what I'm learning DAILY" to LET IT GO AND DON'T LOOK BACK (decluttering and humbling myself to get rid of ALL of the "mess and stress" from out of my head, heart, spirit, letting GO of toxic relationships and toxic THINKING/BEHAVING myself and out of my home (inside and outside) has been a major KEY to my success (at long last)--starting in November/December of 2017
    vheco40m3s1h.jpeg


    66ekq40gatco.png

    As of today, I'm 157.6lbs and that's 4,6lbs away from my goal of 153lbs (aka no longer obese, no longer overweight). After that, I'll be making a new goal of 139-145lbs.

    I'm posting this to let you all know that taking your time, getting rid of/LETTING GO of the stress and mess out of your lives will help you reach all kinds of goals, including weight blastification, it really will. Will you still/continue to have stress and mess in your life after meeting your weight blastification goals and totally decluttering? YEP, you will and that's part of the joy/fun of living...learning and the fabulous MAINTENANCE state of all we're doing. Getting there is one fabulous stage, MAINTAINING your wins is a whole nother wonderful kettle of fish. Why wonderful? Because maintance will keep us humble and help us to live the rest of our lives being not mere champions, but ever learning and growing-I LOVE THAT!!

    Also please know that if/since I can do this, literally ANYONE CAN, for realz--BOOM o:)<3o:)

    ETA: I am accomplishing this success by eating whatever I want to (NO RESTRICTIONS ON ANYTHING AT ALL--this includes a lot of eating/dining out and junk foods). The major difference is that I am eating far smaller portions of whatever I eat and less frequently than when I was obese/fat. I'm actually eating a lot like when I was stick skinny in my youth and before children. I also am NOT and have not exercised AT ALL. The only "exercise" I am doing is N.E.A.T. exercising=decluttering, household chores, (daily) and walking to and from the grocery store instead of driving (2-3 times per week--about 4-5 miles in total-back and forth). Also, I REFUSE to allow stress and mess to overcome me now. LETTING GO of toxic people. places and things is a major contributing factor in my winning these battles of the bulge and decluttering/mess/messy thinking and living

    Nice job (and slippers)!! Its great to know it can happen without diet restrictions. I also eat whatever I feel like. It won't help me to lose the weight and binge on all the food I denied myself. I'm trying to be realistic. :)

    Thanks Snoo...I love these slippers, I've had them for sometime and they are mega comfortable and cute. Being "realistic" is the only way to fly--anything other than being realistic will and is counter-productive/self-destructive, frustrating and in vain (I'm speaking from YEARS of experience from living in unreality) and yuck of that state of mind and being/doing is horrible. Unreality like being in a hurry is of the >:) and feels so right and yet is so wrong!
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    I wasn't expecting to find a decluttering thread here. But it fits - we all came here because we want *something* in our lives to be lighter, right? :D

    For me, the starting point was that my SO and I live in a 50 square meter apartment - I need to limit my stuff, or I'll need a shovel to create a walkway in my living room.
    So, my minimalism saves double money - less shopping, and it allows us to stay in our small home.

    Welcome aboard and {{{Hugs}}} Thank you ever so much for your contribution to this thread. I really understand/relate to what you've said, especially "saves double the money" Living more simply and with less "stuff" is money and time saving indeed!
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,979 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    Didn't really do anything about de-cluttering this weekend except move a couple things from the bench by my door to the car. One step closer to the thrift shop.

    I moved my summer clothes to the back of the closet last night while I was putting laundry away. I'm battling with myself whether I should trust that I will continue on my downward trend this winter and these clothes will be too big next year. They were all getting loose this summer, but I don't want to get rid of them and then need them. By the time summer rolls around again we will be knee deep in wedding expenses for my daughter so I know I won't have money to spend on myself. I think that I will compromise with myself on this a little bit. If I am still losing in January I will get rid of them. I know if I can make it through to then I'll be good. I always get the need to lose hitting me in February LOL

    I feel like I've let myself down in September and didn't reach my goals. I did lose, but no where near what I was hoping to. I'll take it a loss is a loss after all. Hopefully, October I can be more disciplined.

    @Snowflake1968

    Think of September and October as just human names for abstract divisions. Cats don't think in "months".

    You lost weight. Yay for you!

    If you're not losing 0.5 lb per week on average, perhaps you need to tighten up your logging. We always under-guesstimate weight of food.

    Weigh calorie-dense food like chicken, salmon, avocado, rice, crisps, bread, potatoes, on a digital food scale in grams. Measure liquids such as soft drinks and milk drinks in millilitres.

    Thanks - I need to tighten up on my weighing and I also need to start caring more. There are a lot of times, I know I'm going to be over and do it anyway! The weather really is having a big effect on me this year. We haven't really had many nice days at all since July!
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    I'm a hoarder. My thought process is "I can't get rid of this because what if I need it one day? Even if it's been collecting dust for months, if not years, the time may come that I'll need it! I can't toss it even though it only cost $3 dollars because what if I don't have $3 to replace it when I finally need it?" (My husband and his random cables and broken computers is a whole garage sized problem that we'll ignore for now.)

    I finally got sick enough of not being able to even use my closet because it was so packed with stuff, that I had a friend come over and told her "if it isn't on a hanger, it's trash" and paid for her service with pizza and games. She helped me throw out enough that I actually have a floor now. That you can SEE. It's a miracle. She made me toss out all my pre-baby clothes that haven't fit since July of 2016.

    She told me I'm not allowed to buy new clothes until I lose the weight, and then she'll take me shopping and we can destroy my "fat mom" clothes, so that there isn't just another pile of clothes that I can't wear.

    My ultimate life tip is: have an amazing friend who actually wants you to succeed, and will help you do it.


    {{{{{{ <3 HUGS <3 }}}}}}YOU, my dear are a super-star, period. Your very first sentence is so powerful and full of LIFE. Why? Because admitting what's an issue to/for you is the beginning of everything good and change. THANK YOU EVER SO VERY MUCH for contributing to this thread. What you've written is profoundly inspiring. I'm so THRILLED that you have a real friend that really LOVES you--real friends are not only hard to find, but the truth of the matter is, in this lifetime, one will only have a very few and perhaps just one or maybe two "good" friends and yours is one of them--how excellent and wonderful is that?!?--Super Excellent!

    What/how your friend is helping you is REAL love...not "Hollywood" love we've all been taught/trained/programmed to believe is love. You are super BLESSED to have this angel in your life--YAY YOU!!!! For those of us not as fortunate to have a lovely person like your friend in y/our life...BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER, until someone else comes around. If they never do, you will always be with you--so being your own cheerleader will help you tremendously to overcome so much "mess" in your life!
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    Closet by closet, drawer by drawer...I am going through it all!

    My local thrift has a program where you can get up to 30% off from bringing in donations. So it worked well...I got rid of stuff hidden in my closets for years unused, and also clothes that are too big for me after losing 45 lbs and I got a coupon for a few "new to me" items to wear that fit me better than what I gave away. Win win! It felt good.

    Starting round two soon, cupboards are still too full and found some more clothes that are just too big. This thread is awesome, I don't feel like I am doing it alone!

    You're awesome! o:) To lose FOREVER BLAST AWAY/LET GO OF 45lbs is a HUGE accomplishment, HUGE--you rock! Man! I love that your local thrift store does this is a big ole encouraging win-win-WIN. Perhaps other thrift stores do this as well, it's worth asking and THANK you so much for sharing this. I'm thrilled you're starting round two and equally thrilled you've joined and contributed to this thread.
    {{{{ <3 Hugs <3 }}}} You're SO not/no longer alone.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    AJB1014 wrote: »
    AJB1014 wrote: »
    I have one pair of kahkis, two pairs of linen pants, and an abundance of leggings/yoga pants - ALL of which are too big but it's all I've got at the moment! I seriously hate shopping and usually order online - but I have no idea what size I even am right now. So I'm working up the courage to get out there and get one pair of jeans. I think I'll try dressbarn, and old navy - usually cheap enough and fit decent. Not sure why it's taking such a kick in the pants to get me to do this??! Will have lots more clothes to donate soon.

    HEY!!!! Nice to hear from ya {{{ <3 Hugs <3 }}} Are you all done and settled in with the moving? Hope all is fabulous on that front. Girl, I totally "get-it" and love the way you phrase it "working up the "courage", because that's really what it boils down to. Wow! I get it. Let me share what you already know, once you get started...it's ON. Getting started is slap in the face, a kick in the behind and a knock-out punch to/for whatever issues we're struggling with.

    Thank you!!! I've got about a dozen boxes left in the spare bedroom that I havent missed living without - so I'm going to declutter those before I unpack them too! And I went to dressbarn. It was an all around great experience. A SIZE 10! I could not believe it. But those jeans gave me LIFE this weekend. You are so right - it's ON now that I'm loving myself in clothes that fit!!!

    {{{*CUE the Happiest, most exciting and most jamming tune one has EVER heard*}}}}} Super mega YAY YOU for being an ultra fabulous size 10!!!!!!!!! I'm so GLAD and REJOICING with you on this tremendous accomplish---BOOOM! It's so thrilling to literally "feel" your joy--I love it! Isn't it utterly amazing how we have hold on to so much "stuff" and when it's not/no longer around for us to see, we don't miss it at all. That's a HUGE weapon in this decluttering battle. The truth is we truly will NOT miss ANY of that stuff we LET IT GO, that we're holding onto with a "death-grip"...won't miss it at all. It's a lie AND disception that will keep us is cluttered mess, keeping and holding on to so much excess of stuff we no longer need. Once our eyes are opened to this "secret" (you will not miss a thing you've got rid of) BAM! Here comes a clutter/confusion/messy FREE lifestyle. Also, once we get rid of the excess stuff (from off of our bodies and out of our homes and hearts and minds) wonderful and "real" peace/contentment and all kinds of mental, physical, spiritual good things start replacing all the YUCK that has held us in a self-imposed prison for years. Again, YAY YOU, you winner you!!!!!!!!!!! <3o:)<3
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    edited October 2018
    Wow so much going on!

    @AJB1014 - Size 10 - Go You!!!! That is awesome! Also, great job on decluttering as you unpack, it's funny when you move stuff and then you realize it just doesn't go in your new place! When we moved two years ago, I took truckloads of stuff out of the house that I didn't pack to move. After we got moved in and settled I still ended up with another 6-8 boxes of things that I realized just didn't go and I didn't need!

    @NewLIFEstyle4ME - You have lost what my goal loss is! Congratulations! It must feel so good! Like you, I am not restricting any foods, just trying to do it all in moderation. Unless you count yesterday, which I'm not, it's done and forgotten! There was no moderation in the dictionary for me yesterday, the only word was binge! I am exercising some, but it's only so I can eat more! Whatever works I say, I'm 1/3 of the way there!

    Anger - What a great topic. I too suffered from anger, for 12 years I wasn't sure if my husband and I were going to make it. I was so angry at him, words were said that could never be taken back nor forgotten. We would have a fight then "act" like everything was fine for weeks and months at a time. Inevitably though the acting would stop working and we would fight again, about the same old thing. Things finally started turning around this year. I am so incredibly blessed and thankful and for the first time in over a dozen years feel loved and secure in my marriage.

    Last year in June I was encouraged by my best friend to start reading a daily devotional again, she knew I was struggling with my marriage and my job. I did it, only because she made me promise to do it. She had bought the book for me the year before for my birthday, and I hated to admit that I hadn't even opened it. I found that reading the devotional every day whether I did anything else or not, was helping me. On August 31, 2017 I was fired for the first time in my life! Instead of it being the devastation that I believed it would be I started finding peace, immediately! I didn't even cry until a young lady that worked for me contacted me and told me she loved me and still wanted to be a part of my life. My husband works seasonal work and we knew that by the end of October we would only have his EI. I should have been panicking, but I wasn't. I was more at peace than I had been in years. I decided to start reading the Bible verses that went with the devotional and I started having Faith that things would work out.

    In January 2018 my husband and I had a blow up, the same one we always were having. This one was different though. I refused to engage. I told him in the calmest manner that I could, that I was done. I didn't want to be in an unhappy marriage. I wanted to feel loved and secure again. I told him I would figure out where to go and he could stay in the house. We would figure out the stuff later. I then sat in my craft room and cried for probably 6-8 hours. He kept coming back to check on me, he asked me if that is what I really wanted. I told him No, that I really wanted to be married to him when I died. I loved him and would always love him, not because he was the Father of my children, but I loved him for who he was. I just didn't know how to continue living the way we were and I needed him to engage and be a part of my life again, not just a roommate. He told me that I wasn't perfect either, LOL I knew this all on my own! I said what do you want me to change, every time we have an argument you never tell me what I'm doing to contribute, how can I change something I don't know about. He told me that he felt I had lost respect for him and didn't even ask for his opinion on anything anymore. I told him honestly that I had lost respect for him, I didn't ask for his opinion because when I did ask he never gave it. I told him that a decision he had made years ago and his behaviour after I decided it wasn't for me had made me lose respect for him. We ended that day with no decisions made, we were still in the house together. It was a stressful and uncomfortable few weeks. I was angry and hurt, so was he. We weren't arguing, but we were pussyfooting around each other.

    Then one night while I was looking for a positive/motivational quote to put on my facebook post for the night I read this. "I've got this. Everything will be okay. Just go out there and love your husband. Forgive your husband. I NEED you to forgive him and help him climb out of this hole. Be there for him, just like I have been there for you. God"

    I felt this showed up for a reason and I took it to heart. I saved the quote to my phone and I started reading it daily and sometimes hourly. My husband has gradually come back to the man I married. He loves me, he engages with me, he gives me his opinion (This is a double edged sword LOL). He is my everything again! You know what, he told me I am my old me too! I trust him again, there was never an affair or abuse, but I didn't trust him with my feelings. I was so worried about hurting his feelings or angering him I never spoke my truth. One of the things he said to me is, "how can I know how you feel if you won't tell me". I used to bottle it up and then it would explode, I don't do this now and it's much better.

    Well this has become a bit long but very cathartic. Feel free to skip if you don't want to read it.

    Dearest Snow~

    I want to THANK YOU from the top and bottom of my heart for taking the time, love, faith and courage to share what you have here. Though you may not completely understand this, what you have written has given so much HOPE and SOBER MINDEDNESS on so many things going on in our lives too. The situations, the issues and the circumstances may be (or look) totally different (what others are truly suffering from/with) in our homes, jobs, and lives in general--your posting has shown and proven that no matter how much UGH and YUCK one experiences in their hearts, minds, spirits and lives...that things that "look and feel" really bad or hopeless are NOT--it's a choice on how and what we will CHOOSE to do, say or be about a situation. That growing/learning is a lot of times FILLED with angst, fear, anger and UGH--but that same YUCK may help us to grown stronger and stronger and overcome.

    Many people are "scared" or turned off, or just avoid (to be politically correct or whatevah) to mention and give Glory, Honor, Praise and Thanks and ALL THE CREDIT to The ONLY True and Living, Unseen (with our "natural" eyes) God (The God of the Bible, The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and Jesus). I want to thank you so much for DARING to mention that turning to The Lord (as utterly and completely rejected, mocked, scorned, ridiculed, ignored and hated as He is AND always has been by the greater majority of people for thousands of years--not just today) that your darling friend would love you enough to ask you to focus on Him, His Way, His Truth and His Life is utterly beautiful and so good. I can tell you The Word says (and I am a "fool of/for Christ" to believe 100%) that ALL of this is TRUE, right, righteous and more):

    Romans 8:24 For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.

    26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

    28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


    These MARVELOUS things and promises to us, from The Lord DOES NOT mean we will get Cadillac's, riches, houses, lands, treasures and things that are of value/honor/importance in this world (the system and ways of this world) and this does NOT mean we will be getting anything/everything our wicked hearts desire AT ALL--it mean none of that (like you hear so many "false" preachers/teachers, wicked so-called Christians" claim...NOT at all. These promises mean we DEFINITELY WILL be going thru all kinds of "hell on earth" so to speak, WE MUST die (to ourselves) daily (meaning not our will and way...but The Lord's Way, His Truth and His Life/Lifestyle/Way of thinking/living/being), which is 100% diametrically opposed to everything we've EVER been taught/trained/programmed/brain-washed/mind-controlled ALL of our lives (from cradle to grave) via education, the media (music/tv/movies/social media) and especially THE NEWS to believe is real/truth/right) but these promises/words of comfort from Romans teach us we WILL SUFFER in this life on earth, and The Lord Himself will teach us and help us to grow and overcome daily). ALL of these trials, temptations, abuse, YUCK will work TOGETHER to/for our good. (No matter how foolish or unbelievable that sounds and is) Much like you getting fired and yet feeling "relieved". Much like me trying everything under the sun to blast these pounds and inches away, for soooo many years apart from looking to/depending on/waiting on The Lord to lead and guide me His Way...NOT mine/my way and BAM! Here comes success and with continued trials and tribulations. Why? Because There is a True and Living God and I'M NOT HIM. His Ways are NOT our ways and His Thoughts are NOT our thoughts, period.

    Thank you beloved for encouraging me and so many others AND for not being "ashamed" of The Gospel and The Lord...you're beautiful inside and out o:)<3o:)
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    I have been stalled on the weight loss and decluttering after breaking an ankle this summer but am slowing getting back to both. I was able to walk away from an afternoon cookie yesterday and finally got back on the scale today and logged the number as I don't want to stay in denial any longer.
    Been working on my fabric stash by using it up with making bags for Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes and made it to my goal of 100 bags. I have made more than that this year as my daughter comes and gets some as she is involved in the events. I actually have 108 on hand at the moment for an event coming up. So spent Saturday and Sunday Afternoons organizing the sewing room and was able to part with some items for a rummage sale at the senior center. it feels good to have it better organized and ready for more sewing. Still have plenty of fabric so prepped some for more bags and other charity projects and even made up a quick fleece blanket last night.

    What a tremendous attitude you have...YAY YOU! Big ole OUCH to breaking an ankle--MAN! one never truly appreciates "little" parts of our bodies (like ankles, toes, fingers, etc.) until one injures of worse, break one.
    {{{{ HUGS }}}}. Thank you for all that you are doing for others and for contributing to this thread!
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