WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2018
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I thought it was this weekend, it’s the weekend after, nov 4th in California. Gonna double up to see motor home parks and visit family. Will b out for a week8 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »Machka It's amazing how well your husband is doing, but it doesn't erase the heartache of what has changed.
The specific examples of his speech difficulties make for a poignant glimpse into his world (and yours). His brain recircuiting project is painstakingly slow, but ongoing nonetheless. He is an amazing man. And you are an amazing woman. (((Hugs)))
Karen in Virginiaspikeyhair wrote: »MACHKA your hubs is doing so well, makes us remember what wonderful creatures humans are and if we look after our bodies we are better able to cope with trauma.
Kate UKMachka - I think you were here more than a year and a half ago when my husband shattered his wrist in a workplace accident. I mentioned at some point during his recovery that it was like being married to the injury, rather than the husband, as it was the focus of every conversation, every interaction, for six months. I resented that injury so much for taking my husband away from me, and the changes I saw in him during that time, honestly (not that I told him that). Made me feel incredibly selfish and lacking in both understanding and any form of long-term sympathy. I am not a patient person, rather the opposite, and as a caretaker, I'm closer to Nurse Ratched, I'm thinking.
But yesterday, I watched him reach down and take the weight of a massive chest-of-drawers with that same hand to carry it in the house, and it made me realize once again how fortunate we both truly were. I think of you often, and hope you know how much I admire and respect you, and Rori as well. You are both incredibly strong women, given a seemingly impossible labor of love, and you both accomplish it with grace and enviable patience. You both make me want to be a better person.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
Thank you all!
And Lisa, when you wrote that 18 months or so ago, I was right there with you. I do not do well with injury and illness in others, and do not have a whole lot of sympathy and empathy. My mother is a nurse and wondered if I'd ever follow in her footsteps and become a nurse, but nope ... no interest in that sort of thing at all.
Then this happened. And ... I really keep wondering how in the world I'm managing to deal with it all month after month. It's like I've been given a special dose of grace or something from above. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for it!
That said, my husband and his carer have nicknamed me the "Pitbull"!!!! Not toward them ... but toward all these organisations I've had to deal with. Maybe I've just redirected my frustrations with the situation.
Machka in Oz5 -
My sympathies to all of you who are in the final throes of periods and getting on with menopause. So glad that's behind me.
The worst of it for me is that stress seems to trigger the hotflashes.
So there I am in a meeting with a whole bunch of people from the hospital or something - heads of departments, doctor specialists, etc. - trying to make a point about my husband's care, when all of a sudden .... WHOOSH!!
And I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh you've got to be kidding! I'm trying to make a point here! Being red and sweaty doesn't help!"
Machka in Oz
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Machka safe travels. In addition to everything on your plate, you made time to organize and support the Audax riders? Girl, you amaze!
The event (or actually series of 3 events) is "ours". This is the third year we've organised it. The turnout is still small, but we're hopeful that one year it might take off a bit.
So we've got some of the organisation down now, and fortunately my husband has been able to help. I've given him a list of things to do.
And as for being busy ... I just submitted the "big" assignment in my current course. 50 pages long and worth 30% of the total mark. I've been working on it for the last 2 weeks or so.
Just one more assignment in this particular course left, and it is due Wednesday.
Machka in Oz3 -
Machka, I haven't said anything, but each day my admiration for you grows as you tell about your accomplishments in the face of your husband's recovery efforts. You show me so much about balance and commitment. Thank you.
Lisa, The cats in my family have always been indoor/outdoor cats with a cat door to make things easier for all of us. In one house, I installed the cat door by myself. In the last house there was no cat door and I had quite a few restless nights when one of the cats failed to return home by my bedtime. When we moved to this house seven years ago, there were pet restrictions that required that Bernie become a completely indoor cat. The week before we moved, I saw a dead cat in the road a block from our house that looked a lot like Bernie. I was relieved to find him at home when I got there, but that went a long way to help me be comfortable with the need to keep Bernie indoors. He often lies on the window sill looking longingly out at the trees and birds but doesn't try to get out. The greatest downside is that I have to take him to vet every few months to get his nails trimmed because they get long without trees to climb and whatever else outdoors kept the nails short.
Heather, I am reading "The Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor. I heard him interviewed by Dan Harris on the 10% Happier podcast. The book is long but for a quick view of what he has to say, you can Google "Shawn Achor TED talk" and hear the short version of the happiness advantage.
Sharon, best wishes on increasing your step count. I seek every opportunity to be active. I welcome the chance to go to the store to get in a few extra steps. Weight loss coupled with the right attitude (which you have already) are bound to help you be more active.
Barbie from chilly NW Washington2 -
well i fed my DFIL I have the nurse having the Dr call me.. i would like to see them cut down on the trazidone they are giving him, he usually sleeps really well at night and I dont want them keeping him doped up during the day, and it builds up in your system,,, so I will speak with him today..
cant advocate enough for someone who cant do it on there own..
will try and catch up with you tonight...3 -
Pat in OH: I am sorry to hear that your SIL is having health problems. :flowerforyou:
Janetr: Yes! I’d love to know of a medicine that “causes permanent weight loss, removes wrinkles and increases energy.” If you find it, let us all know. Until then, counting calories, yoga and horseback riding are woking wonders for me. :bigsmile:
Heather: You get to move at last!!!I hope that you and DH are happy in your new home.
Allie: Your newfound independence and freedom is wonderful and I enjoy reading your posts and knowing you are happy. You are a blessing in your DFIL’s life. WTG!!!
Pip: I hope you have a grand adventure going to California after Nov 4. Post when you can! What route will you take? :flowerforyou:
Machka: I found this online: Hot and spicy foods, caffeinated beverages, and alcohol can trigger hot flashes. Learn to recognize your triggers and avoid them. Relax. Some women find relief from mild hot flashes through meditation; slow, deep breathing; or other stress-reducing techniques.Feb 10, 2018
Hot flashes - Diagnosis and treatment - Mayo Clinic
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hot-flashes/diagnosis.../drc-20352795
Yoga today, and do I ever need it! Almost everything aches, just a bit. Yoga will help. DH is planning to talk to our RV repair guy. Our trip revealed that the water heater is not working correctly. I’m not sure why, and neither does DH. Tony will know what to do.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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Wow, I feel a bit like a child being scolded for posting what I thought was "humorous" . I DO exercise vigorously, every day, I DO log my food and water intake daily and I HAVE LOST 35 pounds since the first of this year making a total weight loss of 130 pounds from my highest weight. My body has more strength and muscle definition than ever in my life from kettlebell workouts.
I shall monitor more closely my posts that made me smile, not to be taken "literally".
Thanks my friends for your kind comments on the ornaments.
Janetr OKC2 -
Kelly - I too have trouble telling anyone anything new that is happening in my life. This sameness though is so welcome to me as I had a run of years where everything seemed to be going wrong. I have started actively looking for other work though as this do nothing job is making me feel brain dead!
Karen- So sorry for your loss of Farley.
Sharon - Loved your play on words in response to Heather's post about loose drawers.
Karen - How close is your daughter to those lions?
Lisa - I love your style, that is how I would describe mine as well. I looked around my house after your comment "garage sale rustic" and I don't have any "new" furniture in my house except for one shelf. I have antiques and garage sale finds. I have been caring for an old trundle sewing machine for my friend who was diagnosed with bi-polar a couple of years ago. She before she was hospitalized and received treatment was very close to homeless, she had her very few possessions stored at her Father's and her Daughter's and felt they were stealing from her. She had called me and asked if I could take a couple of totes of stuff. It ended up being a half ton load. Just last week she told me to keep the sewing machine, she didn't think she would ever have room for it again and it matched my decor so nicely. I told her that I would graciously accept it, but if she ever changed her mind it was hers. I worry about her a lot and I'm hoping this isn't a sign of a deeper depression. She really has no one in her life except her children and me as so many wrote her off when before her diagnosis, it's very sad.
Husband's injury and being able to lift - My husband and I moved to Alberta from New Brunswick in 1997, he was a 1st year apprentice welder and the company he went to work for actually paid his way out here. The day before his first anniversary with the company he caught his right hand index finger in a chop saw. The surgeon was able to reattach it, but it was a pretty useless finger. It was just in the way and he had to consciously think about moving it so it was dangerous really. WCB had told him he would not be able to work near power tools and be covered by them due to the finger. He decided in 2000 to have it amputated in the hopes to be able to go back to welding. He had it amputated and went for almost a year of physio therapy and still has no real strength in this hand. Fortunately, he is left handed, but it bothers him still that he can't help lift things like he used to. He tries, but it causes him a lot of embarrassment if it gives out and he drops something. If he hits that hand in the "right spot" it brings him to his knees still and he suffers occasionally from the phantom pains you hear people speak of.
Allie - "Frost on the Pumpkin" that reminds me of an old country song. "How you doin' Country Bumpkin" I too put my life in the Good Lord's hands last year and have found such peace since doing so. It was the best decision I ever made and I am grateful everyday that my friend started leading me in that direction after several years of turning away.
Heather - I have a lot of old jewelry of my Grandmother's, I think 4 jewelry boxes of it. I have decided to make wall art out of it for my daughter's and I. That way I can enjoy viewing it daily. Of course, I will only use her costume jewelry for this project not her good pieces. This is an example of what I am doing. I am going to do a hummingbird for myself as it was my Grandmother's favourite bird. For my youngest I am doing a sail boat as she was in Sea Cadets for years and is a Level 1 Sail Instructor. My eldest I am either doing a book or a music note as both mean a lot to her. My eldest also carried a brooch bouquet for her wedding instead of just flowers and used some of my Grandmother's jewelry for it, so she has those in a vase in her house. This is an idea of what I am going to do, although this is from Pinterest, not mine.
I managed to get some crafting done this weekend and have a lot more wood sanded and ready for hubby to burn tonight and tomorrow. My first craft sale is Friday and I'm very nervous I'm going to run out of stock! I am taking Thursday off in the hopes of getting a lot more ready to go.
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janetr7476 wrote: »Wow, I feel a bit like a child being scolded for posting what I thought was "humorous" . I DO exercise vigorously, every day, I DO log my food and water intake daily and I HAVE LOST 35 pounds since the first of this year making a total weight loss of 130 pounds from my highest weight. My body has more strength and muscle definition than ever in my life from kettlebell workouts.
I shall monitor more closely my posts that made me smile, not to be taken "literally".
Thanks my friends for your kind comments on the ornaments.
Janetr OKC
And honestly, wouldn’t it be nice for once to have a side effect from a needed medicine be a welcome one, instead of horrid. That germ of truth is what made it so humorous!
Rye
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So my DD was in a safari car with a guide and her friends when they came across that lion. I think the camera lens was amazing to get that close, but the lion was by the side of the road up on a little hill. And she tells me it was a yawn, not a roar, but man oh man it sure looked like they were close doesn't it?!
Trying to start positive and productive, MOndays are tough
NYKAREN4 -
Lisa: You're HOME. I couldn't be happier for you. I'd love to see you try training Egg to walk on a leash. It gives Mars a very safe indoor/outdoor life. He adopted us when he was a full-grown stray over 6 years ago, and already had well-established hunting routes. Once I got him accustomed to wearing the harness, I just opened the door and followed two paces behind him. It's all about exploring and hunting, and he still catches mice, moles and garter snakes. I drop the leash to allow him to sprint (cats can only cover short distances at a full run) after squirrels. Currently 0-97 on that front, but he loves to try. He climbs trees, only to the height where I can still keep his leash untangled. And when the weather is too wet, he settles onto our covered 'catio' and watches and smells the world go by from a little perch he claimed amidst my collection of potted plants. He gets brushed outside which decreases the chance of fleas getting imported into the house. He is a true lion-boy, and we are now his trusted pride. It's amazing to see the world through his eyes.
KarenNY: Speaking of pride...those lion photos are beautiful. African safari is on my bucket list.
Machka: Congratulations on getting your assignment done. I'm not surprised you've found your inner caregiver. Love is powerful and works in magical ways.
We are having warmer than average weather here, with temps this week starting in the 40's, then peaking at mid-60's. Just spectacular. DH was being a poop, so I went on my own to the botanic garden about 15 minutes away. It's a converted farm and ranch, and it has a ginormous pumpkin patch. I walked for acres and acres, but didn't grab any pumpkins cause I want DH to help with this. So, maybe today or tomorrow we'll head back out.
Whatever you do, stay well. May you be happy and my your hearts be filled with loving kindness.
Rori
Colorado Foothills
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I love the sameness and predictability of my life. I may have no new adventures to relate to others in conversation, but I relish the peacefulness of my days. I sought serenity for a long time and have finally found it. It is a huge blessing and I appreciate every moment of it. Even with our health challenges lately, we have maintained our simple routines and find joy in them.
Barbie4 -
Janetr - My comment was not intended as criticism. Sorry you took it that way - I know your post was humorous. I was just pointing out that all those things are achievable. If we could market that pill we would be billionaires. The sad thing is most people don't even realise those things are within their grasp. I think my comment was on society in general. I think you have done amazingly and revitalised yourself. Most people prefer excuses to results.
Of course, the truth is, if it were easy everyone would be fit and healthy. We all know it isn't easy. But it is more than worth it.
DH went out for a walk after he had been to the bank to transfer his money. He took his camera with him to record the walks in the lanes he has been doing for years. 77 photos! On the way back from my run we came across each other. He snapped me as I ran towards him. :laugh:
Good memories. It's the first photo I've had of me jogging. I look as if I'm walking, but I assure you my feet do leave the ground!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
PS Barbie - I watched the TED talk and bought the Kindle edition. Very cheap! I like to have an inspiring read in the middle of the night.
The week after we move in to Hove my son and DDIL are going off to Cyprus for the TEDX talks there. Some of you may remember that she spoke there last year. Well, they are going back to just relax and enjoy themselves instead of having to 'perform'. We are taking turns with the babysitting with her parents. We will stay at their house on the school night and take the grandchildren back to ours for the Friday. I expect they will be very excited! Then the other grandparents can pick them up from ours and have a cup of tea. :bigsmile:
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Heather - Your grandchildren will be so blessed to have both sets of grandparents near. I grew up with this and have very many fond memories. I remember my Grandmothers visiting and each other and the special times they were. My Grandchildren's other grandmother is very jealous of my time with them and makes passive aggressive comments within their hearing if we are together. I have tried on numerous occasions to try to visit her when I have the children on Sunday's and she has never accepted my invitation. She refuses to ever babysit them or take them for the afternoon just for fun. I feel if she really wanted to know them more she would make more of an effort with them. To me she seems to enjoy the pictures and saying she has grandchildren but doesn't enjoy the "work" that sometimes goes with them.1
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Ah, Heather, I do love to see you planning your near future. It will be wonderful!
I've had an ahMAYzing day, perhaps a return for the struggles of late and hard work.- Got the rental house cleaned, top to bottom, including putting the under-burner pans on the stove and all the knobs through the dishwasher, between 6 and 8 a.m. About 3500 steps, a bit over a mile, and it's at least twice as clean as it was when we moved in...
- Went to the cable Internet people, expecting a big fight to get the Internet turned off at the one house and left on at the other, and it was, as our UK friends would say, a "doddle." Lovely woman, took the cable modem/router I brought her without arguing or trying to sell me anything, had me out of there in five minutes flat. And... will only owe about $13 on the final bill.
- Went to the property management company, and they will go walk the property today, and feel they can get it rented quite quickly, which will release us from our contract (which would save us nearly $1500 a month in rent and utilities). Happened that the manager of the place has known our next-door neighbor since he was a child, she was his mother's best friend. Apparently Cecilia called him to let him know what wonderful neighbors we were, and that she will miss us when we leave. People can do amazingly kind things.
- Have been searching every website I could find for counter-height barstools to place at the kitchen counter. Unusually enough, have quite specific wants on this one - wanted them to be wood, with arms, and to swivel. Corey drives by a wood furniture factory every day that's open to the public, and suggested I stop there on my way back from town. I did, and they're custom-making exactly what we want, in oak, with a color that will match our kitchen table! AND, to top it off, something on the order of $100 less each than they would have been had we ordered the ones we sort-of were OK with, which were actually patio furniture, and definitely not our first choice.
- Talked to the guy who owns the furniture factory, and mentioned that I make high-end quilts that would look lovely with a lot of the traditional and Amish-style furniture they sell. He said he'd be happy to display and sell them for me, if I can get them made (when I stop traveling... it will happen someday).
- Last, but not least, got home and had our application for "homestead" status for our property tax waiting for me. Should save us on taxes almost exactly what the barstools we want will cost us!
So far, just a lovely day. So nice when everything goes right... and so seldom happens!
Now I've got 200 letters and envelopes to get done and get to FedEx and off to Midland. Fingers crossed my luck continues! Somebody pray for my printer, please...
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR9 -
Lisa - what is 'homestead' status?
Snowflake - The other grandparents actually live further away than we do! They will be coming down to stay at their daughter's house for the weekend. I am sometimes a bit jealous that they used to spend a bit more time with the kids than we do (summer holiday etc), but that is what happens with having sons rather than daughters. They live in the same village as their other daughter, two grandchildren, and have another son with two children not too far away. So they have seven.
Of course, I am more than happy with my three. I never even wanted children at all when I was younger and never found child rearing easy. My joy in the grandchildren is a revelation and I count myself very blessed. My own mother was a useless grandmother, but the difference for me has been DH, who is a 'child magnet'. I have learnt such a lot from him.
We get on well with the other grandparents, though they are very different to us.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
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Lisa: Congrats on your Great Day of so many completed accomplishments!
Barbie: I am like you in that I love my quiet daily life!
Carol in GA0 -
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