What nobody tells you about losing weight
Replies
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Vonny198334 wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »Vonny198334 wrote: »I'm finding it hard to come to terms with my smaller person fragility.
Had to leave my wonderful job this week as I'm moving long distance (honestly, still a bit broken hearted 😭💔) & that meant lots of goodbye hugs.
My entire life, I've been the heavier (and by default the "strongest") person so I've always been sensitive to that.
Now I'm not & men in particular do things that I've not experienced before. Some are great, like my lovely husband having no trouble picking me up bridal style!
But last week my best male work pal hugged me so forcefully he popped something in my back audibly...still suffering 😂 (bless, he felt so bad!)
Another strange thing was being lifted up into hugs by others & sort of shaken around in the air....that was....just bizarre because I've never experienced it...
Can't help but realise just how "vulnerable" bodily I am now... if that makes any sense at all? Does that resonate with anyone else?
In my head, I am much bigger. Much wider. Much more round.
In reality, it does not take much at all to shove me out of place.
I used to be a fixture, hoping that if I pulled myself in, I could be smaller. Less environmental and more transient.
Now, I forget that I am not a force of mass and gravity and find myself surprised by the emergence of slender bones. Still got a ways to go (~15-20kg), so I'm not sure how I'll feel when I get to my goal.
But yes, this definitely resonates!
The mind is a funny creature, and I'm convinced it has a mind of its own, separate from me. It tries to tell me that even though I fit into smaller clothing, take up less space, etc, that I am still the obese-me. Hiding in plain sight!
As usual, I feel very similar to you my love! Though it's improving...think because folk keep doing things to test my own perception of me! A lot of the time I still feel obese, possibly because I've not reached goal yet but more likely because I've never NOT been obese before, really.
Still get a fright when I catch my reflection sometimes but mainly I don't see anything bordering "thin" yet others persist in saying how "tiny" I am. If I'm in a small space & someone needs to pass through the same time I do, I can be guilty of quickly throwing myself against the wall to give them "space" 😂. They must think I'm crazy....
Just doesn't match up all of the time! We'll get there....it's taken time to shift this weight, sure it'll take us time to shift the mindset too xx
And I to you, @Vonny198334
! Haha, I also find myself squeezing into corners, remembering the gravitational pull of my bulk until I realize there's like enough space to fit a whole 'nother person and then I'm like, "FOUND IT!"
Like I was searching for something.
Our minds WILL catch up. So it must BE. hehe7 -
That you will not be comfortable in any place sitting down without extra padding.
That sometimes you will get angry and remorseful about the fact that you did not do this sooner so you could have more quality time with your family.
And as everyone has said, that your mind plays tricks on you.15 -
That you will eat/chew slower (actually putting your fork down as you purposely linger at chewing and slowly swallowing your food and drink) and actually taste and enjoy your food now so much better than when you used to "scarf" your food down at lightening speed.
That you can eat whatever you want to, just smaller portions of whatever you like.
That food is no longer "the boss of you" you become "master" of your appetite.
That after being taught all of your young life to "clean your plate", you no longer "have to" clean your plate--that you can fully enjoy eating half of your plate now and eat the other half later, if at all.
That food/eating no longer is on your mind 24X7X365--this is a dream that WILL/CAN/DOES come true.
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dhiammarath wrote: »Vonny198334 wrote: »dhiammarath wrote: »Vonny198334 wrote: »I'm finding it hard to come to terms with my smaller person fragility.
Had to leave my wonderful job this week as I'm moving long distance (honestly, still a bit broken hearted 😭💔) & that meant lots of goodbye hugs.
My entire life, I've been the heavier (and by default the "strongest") person so I've always been sensitive to that.
Now I'm not & men in particular do things that I've not experienced before. Some are great, like my lovely husband having no trouble picking me up bridal style!
But last week my best male work pal hugged me so forcefully he popped something in my back audibly...still suffering 😂 (bless, he felt so bad!)
Another strange thing was being lifted up into hugs by others & sort of shaken around in the air....that was....just bizarre because I've never experienced it...
Can't help but realise just how "vulnerable" bodily I am now... if that makes any sense at all? Does that resonate with anyone else?
In my head, I am much bigger. Much wider. Much more round.
In reality, it does not take much at all to shove me out of place.
I used to be a fixture, hoping that if I pulled myself in, I could be smaller. Less environmental and more transient.
Now, I forget that I am not a force of mass and gravity and find myself surprised by the emergence of slender bones. Still got a ways to go (~15-20kg), so I'm not sure how I'll feel when I get to my goal.
But yes, this definitely resonates!
The mind is a funny creature, and I'm convinced it has a mind of its own, separate from me. It tries to tell me that even though I fit into smaller clothing, take up less space, etc, that I am still the obese-me. Hiding in plain sight!
As usual, I feel very similar to you my love! Though it's improving...think because folk keep doing things to test my own perception of me! A lot of the time I still feel obese, possibly because I've not reached goal yet but more likely because I've never NOT been obese before, really.
Still get a fright when I catch my reflection sometimes but mainly I don't see anything bordering "thin" yet others persist in saying how "tiny" I am. If I'm in a small space & someone needs to pass through the same time I do, I can be guilty of quickly throwing myself against the wall to give them "space" 😂. They must think I'm crazy....
Just doesn't match up all of the time! We'll get there....it's taken time to shift this weight, sure it'll take us time to shift the mindset too xx
And I to you, @Vonny198334! Haha, I also find myself squeezing into corners, remembering the gravitational pull of my bulk until I realize there's like enough space to fit a whole 'nother person and then I'm like, "FOUND IT!"
Like I was searching for something.
Our minds WILL catch up. So it must BE. hehe
This. I can easily pass between parked cars that I thought too narrow. And in restaurants, I surprise myself when I can squeeze through the gap between tables or the behind chairs without jostling other diners.8 -
long_for_me wrote: »I noticed that I break off my heals due to my weight! I am hoping that after getting to normal weight, I will wear them again!
I have discovered that I can even wear high(ish) heels. It used to be so uncomfortable even with the slightest heel and I only owed flats. Now I can wear a mid-heel all day and not suffer--well at least not too much.6 -
-My feet are smaller, needed new shoes. My boots no longer fit because my calves are 4 inches smaller.
-Sitting anywhere is easier. I used to look for the largest chair, the largest booth. I'm still very heavy, but can fit in any seat now no problem.
-People in general, pay more attention to me. I think though, that part of this is my attitude, my confidence has changed.
-Men look me in the eye a lot now. It kind of freaks me out. Maybe I'm more confident and I'm looking at them? I'm not sure.
-I can cross my legs.
-Clothes look much cuter.
-You become a different person inside, in many ways. Because you know the struggles of losing weight.
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Depending on heaviest/starting size, you may have a seemingly endless pit of "fat clothes" to dispose of or give away. It was fun at first... trying on the old stuff and making room in the closet as item after item filled multiple Hefty bags. But now, finding that forgotten blouse, sweater or skirt is becoming a pain, especially since those are the nicest and most expensive items. And the more sizes lost, the more ridding required.
But... I am looking forward to the day I finally find that last oversized item and bid it farewell forever.
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Add me to the list of people whose feet have shrunk. I've only gone down half a size, but that's from a 6–6.5 to a 5.5–6. It actually kind of sucks because some shoes I like seem not to be made in sizes lower than 6. Harumph.8
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My feet are smaller now too. Or my shoes were stretched out from my formerly fat feet. Either way, there are several pair I can’t wear anymore, as I walk out of them. Some I remedied with insoles.
Also, all of my high boots are “wide calf” and are too wide on my leg now. They’re better if I tuck straight leg jeans in.8 -
ladychris29 wrote: »Depending on heaviest/starting size, you may have a seemingly endless pit of "fat clothes" to dispose of or give away. It was fun at first... trying on the old stuff and making room in the closet as item after item filled multiple Hefty bags. But now, finding that forgotten blouse, sweater or skirt is becoming a pain, especially since those are the nicest and most expensive items. And the more sizes lost, the more ridding required.
But... I am looking forward to the day I finally find that last oversized item and bid it farewell forever.
Consider a tailor or taking in yourself for the more expensive items - it may be worth it!4 -
rheddmobile wrote: »ladychris29 wrote: »Depending on heaviest/starting size, you may have a seemingly endless pit of "fat clothes" to dispose of or give away. It was fun at first... trying on the old stuff and making room in the closet as item after item filled multiple Hefty bags. But now, finding that forgotten blouse, sweater or skirt is becoming a pain, especially since those are the nicest and most expensive items. And the more sizes lost, the more ridding required.
But... I am looking forward to the day I finally find that last oversized item and bid it farewell forever.
Consider a tailor or taking in yourself for the more expensive items - it may be worth it!
Seriously. I have a small handful of dresses that I love so much! I bought them as rewards when I started losing weight... Now that I'm more-or-less in maintenance, they're too big again.
I've been slowly but surely making alterations on them, myself, as I'm a little handy with sewing. Definitely consider doing so, yourself. If the choice is between giving them away (and losing them forever) and making an alteration that could throw them back into the lineup... why not!5 -
rheddmobile wrote: »ladychris29 wrote: »Depending on heaviest/starting size, you may have a seemingly endless pit of "fat clothes" to dispose of or give away. It was fun at first... trying on the old stuff and making room in the closet as item after item filled multiple Hefty bags. But now, finding that forgotten blouse, sweater or skirt is becoming a pain, especially since those are the nicest and most expensive items. And the more sizes lost, the more ridding required.
But... I am looking forward to the day I finally find that last oversized item and bid it farewell forever.
Consider a tailor or taking in yourself for the more expensive items - it may be worth it!
Seriously. I have a small handful of dresses that I love so much! I bought them as rewards when I started losing weight... Now that I'm more-or-less in maintenance, they're too big again.
I've been slowly but surely making alterations on them, myself, as I'm a little handy with sewing. Definitely consider doing so, yourself. If the choice is between giving them away (and losing them forever) and making an alteration that could throw them back into the lineup... why not!
It hasn’t been terribly expensive to go to the local dry cleaner and have them take in a few key items! Its cheaper than purchasing entirely new clothes (and better for the environment tbh).9 -
You will be shopping at thrift stores - take a box, buy a box. LOL
I get rid of my clothes as soon as I realize they're too big (or otherwise don't fit). So I take my box to the back (donations accepted) and then go to the front and go shopping. The guys at Goodwill know me by now! LOL13 -
That it doesn’t fix all of your problems.30
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CoffeeFool wrote: »That it doesn’t fix all of your problems.
This an often overlooked truth.
"If I just do X or accomplish Y... I'll finally be happy".
"the fault lies not in our stars horatio but in ourselves..."22 -
BruceHedtke wrote: »
Now I'm more jealous of those who are overweight because they can also eat whatever they want, whenever they want and not think about fitting it into their calories. I have no desire to be like that again, but sometimes I am jealous.
I can relate to that. I really miss eating whatever I want without thinking about gaining weight.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I lost weight. I’m proud of my accomplishment (losing over 100lbs), but it hasn’t been a completely positive experience.
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oceangirl99 wrote: »I notice everybody else's weight (especially children)- and I don't like it. I constantly want to offer unsolicited advice on living a healthy lifestyle because I want everybody to feel as good as I do.
I see this too. People that I thought were in an OK shake, I now see their weight.
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I thought that once you get to where you want to be that was “it”. I didn’t realize I would still have to strictly regulate what I eat, it’s not over. In fact I find it hard to maintain at the moment but hopefully that’ll get a little easier with practice. I think I will have to cal count for the rest of my life as I don’t seem to be able to regulate myself without the numbers right in front of me.
This is still better than where I was but I never considered that it would still be a constant battle after the weight came off.32 -
BruceHedtke wrote: »
Now I'm more jealous of those who are overweight because they can also eat whatever they want, whenever they want and not think about fitting it into their calories. I have no desire to be like that again, but sometimes I am jealous.
I can relate to that. I really miss eating whatever I want without thinking about gaining weight.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I lost weight. I’m proud of my accomplishment (losing over 100lbs), but it hasn’t been a completely positive experience.
I get this. I was in the gym one Sunday morning and was talking to two other members that I knew pretty well and we were discussing the fact that we were working out on a Sunday morning instead of eating brunch and proceeded to discuss what we would eat for brunch if calories didn't matter. Pretty funny conversation between 3 people that had lost close to 300 pounds between the three of us.21 -
I cut myself when shaving my legs now. Right behind my knees because my tendons are more pronounced. Go figure!
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oceangirl99 wrote: »I cut myself when shaving my legs now. Right behind my knees because my tendons are more pronounced. Go figure!
Ow!!!! I did similar the other month because "bony knee"7 -
I get this. I was in the gym one Sunday morning and was talking to two other members that I knew pretty well and we were discussing the fact that we were working out on a Sunday morning instead of eating brunch and proceeded to discuss what we would eat for brunch if calories didn't matter. Pretty funny conversation between 3 people that had lost close to 300 pounds between the three of us.
I think everyone who's ever put the weight back on multiple times gets this. Sometimes maintaining the discipline to keep it off is sooo tiring you just want to go back to your old habits once the weight is off.
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Your style changes. I didn't realise how much I subconsciously dressed "like a fat person" until I've lost a reasonable amount and saw how many of my clothes were loose fitting styles as opposed to tailored shapes.21
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Your style changes. I didn't realise how much I subconsciously dressed "like a fat person" until I've lost a reasonable amount and saw how many of my clothes were loose fitting styles as opposed to tailored shapes.
I ran into this again this week! Cooler weather has me shopping to replace things that are just too big, and it's amazing how different this year's wardrobe is compared to last year. I used to think that flowy shirts and oversized sweaters were the way to go, but now I'm realizing that something a little more fitted looks SO much better.11 -
Your style changes. I didn't realise how much I subconsciously dressed "like a fat person" until I've lost a reasonable amount and saw how many of my clothes were loose fitting styles as opposed to tailored shapes.
Totally agree - I still struggle with the proper cut/fit for clothes as my default setting is baggy or relaxed fit. Now that my stomach doesn't extend beyond my chest, I'm slowly getting more comfortable with the idea that tailored items look better.11 -
I was standing in line at the store, the woman ahead of me is overweight as well. She picked up a "Woman's World" magazine with "Belly Fat Diet Soup" on the cover. I wanted to remove it from her hands and tell her that will never work.
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To the shoe people: My feet have grown from size 6 to size 7. Probably because I started running and my feet kind of spread out. I never would have considered this. Hmm.
I, too see others who are heavy, but I consider where they might be in their journey. Funny how we all see things just a bit differently. I do cry inside when I see very heavy kids. Who is teaching them proper nutrition?
As to the leg shaving: Yep, I usually strike a good bleeder behind the knees. Yay for long pants weather! 14 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »Your style changes. I didn't realise how much I subconsciously dressed "like a fat person" until I've lost a reasonable amount and saw how many of my clothes were loose fitting styles as opposed to tailored shapes.
Totally agree - I still struggle with the proper cut/fit for clothes as my default setting is baggy or relaxed fit. Now that my stomach doesn't extend beyond my chest, I'm slowly getting more comfortable with the idea that tailored items look better.
I feel this. I have worn baggy clothes for so long. The other day I wore a more fitted shirt and I felt uncomfortable for a bit because it was snug, though it was the appropriate size. I got so many compliments though, people saying how small I looked. I realized that I have been hiding for much too long and it's time to be free! 19 -
I can relate to the clothing issue! For so long I dressed around my stomach -lol. My tops always had to be a-line and flowy and loose at the bottom.
Now I find myself gravitating to things that are much more fitted (but not tight!)
My stomach was the very last to go with my weight loss, and it has made such a difference. I’m still getting used to my “new” shape.19 -
The stress on relationships is for real! After everything I’ve worked so hard for, my family took it the wrong way. When I visited and made a ton of healthy food, my parents took it as an insult. So frustrating!31
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