The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Wow, I am so happy to find this board. You guys are making me feel like there are other people out there experiencing the same thoughts/actions that I do on a regular basis. Today is Day 1 for me. I've gained 30 lbs since getting remarried and moving to a new state. It's time to start dealing with the emotions without alcohol. I am lucky to get 6 hours of sleep a night, and once that first beer goes down it's a free for all with the food. I am ready to put alcohol behind me once and for all. I am with many of you...if it's in the house, I will drink it.6
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When my brother passed May 2018 I kept it together surprisingly for a month and a half,luckily I was able to pull outta the pit in time for the memorial but two of my brothers kept leaving the service to go out to their truck to top off with Bud light,,I was pissed off at them but I know I'd have been doing the same if my binge had continued,,def runs in our families but thats no excuse,we just gotta work a little harder I guess,my kids seem to be able to drink "normally" thank goodness but I do tell them that my drinking started off slowly too,2 beers and id be out then slowly it built to 5,10,15 etc
I don't really like to post amounts cuz then some people read "well I'm not THAT bad" but if you're drinking to get drunk you are that bad regardless of amount,my thoughts for the day haha Ruby great job on getting thru your stressful day and I hope whoever woo'ed it meant woo hoo! Have a fabulous AF day guys 
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When my brother passed May 2018 I kept it together surprisingly for a month and a half,luckily I was able to pull outta the pit in time for the memorial but two of my brothers kept leaving the service to go out to their truck to top off with Bud light,,I was pissed off at them but I know I'd have been doing the same if my binge had continued,,def runs in our families but thats no excuse,we just gotta work a little harder I guess,my kids seem to be able to drink "normally" thank goodness but I do tell them that my drinking started off slowly too,2 beers and id be out then slowly it built to 5,10,15 etc I don't really like to post amounts cuz then some people read "well I'm not THAT bad" but if you're drinking to get drunk you are that bad regardless of amount,my thoughts for the day haha Ruby great job on getting thru your stressful day and I hope whoever woo'ed it meant woo hoo! Have a fabulous AF day guys
that's a really good point. look for the similarities not the differences. don't set yourself apart.2 -
Day 3 guys - my goal is to lower my numbers....my LDL, my resting HR, my BP, my waistline......I said to myself, I need to see results, enough talk, more action
You can do it! My tri. # is now in normal range. Chol. went down 30 points in 6 mo. Probably some due to not eating junk while drinking, exercising regularly and healthier diet overall, but def due to no alcohol.4 -
When my brother passed May 2018 I kept it together surprisingly for a month and a half,luckily I was able to pull outta the pit in time for the memorial but two of my brothers kept leaving the service to go out to their truck to top off with Bud light,,I was pissed off at them but I know I'd have been doing the same if my binge had continued,,def runs in our families but thats no excuse,we just gotta work a little harder I guess,my kids seem to be able to drink "normally" thank goodness but I do tell them that my drinking started off slowly too,2 beers and id be out then slowly it built to 5,10,15 etc I don't really like to post amounts cuz then some people read "well I'm not THAT bad" but if you're drinking to get drunk you are that bad regardless of amount,my thoughts for the day haha Ruby great job on getting thru your stressful day and I hope whoever woo'ed it meant woo hoo! Have a fabulous AF day guys
I am so sorry about your brother. My heart goes out to you.2 -
Ruby nice going!!
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stimberlake14 wrote: »Wow, I am so happy to find this board. You guys are making me feel like there are other people out there experiencing the same thoughts/actions that I do on a regular basis. Today is Day 1 for me. I've gained 30 lbs since getting remarried and moving to a new state. It's time to start dealing with the emotions without alcohol. I am lucky to get 6 hours of sleep a night, and once that first beer goes down it's a free for all with the food. I am ready to put alcohol behind me once and for all. I am with many of you...if it's in the house, I will drink it.
Sleep will improve. Welcome! Keep going! It is more than worth it! You gain many things including self respect. I was pretty low with alcohol ruling me.2 -
Who's going for a sober Halloween? Besides me?
Last year was fun (it was dubbed Hallowhiskey by my clever crew), but this year I might even get to keep some memories! Last year my daughter and I dressed up as the same thing - Viking shield maidens a la Lagertha - and we had an epic sword battle which she won... apparently. I can't recall much of it. I'm stoked for another chance to make memories this year. Raise your hand if you're pledging a sober celebration!6 -
Who's going for a sober Halloween? Besides me?
Last year was fun (it was dubbed Hallowhiskey by my clever crew), but this year I might even get to keep some memories! Last year my daughter and I dressed up as the same thing - Viking shield maidens a la Lagertha - and we had an epic sword battle which she won... apparently. I can't recall much of it. I'm stoked for another chance to make memories this year. Raise your hand if you're pledging a sober celebration!
This will be a sober Halloween. @joha5603 Last few years, my house was the house the adults gathered; I made a big pot of chili and the Dads stroll through the neighborhood with their beer mugs, getting a top off. I used to love Halloween (this will sound really selfish) because it was the RARE time I wasnt with my kids, because husband took them trick or treating. So, I would have my very own “old fashioned” happy hour. I always equated alcohol as a just reward.
This year, I haven’t invited any of the usual friends over. If I do, it will be at the last minute. But I think this Halloween will be quiet. My kids are older anyway.4 -
@whitpauly My deepest sympathies to you. It’s heartbreaking. Xo1
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stimberlake14 wrote: »Wow, I am so happy to find this board. You guys are making me feel like there are other people out there experiencing the same thoughts/actions that I do on a regular basis. Today is Day 1 for me. I've gained 30 lbs since getting remarried and moving to a new state. It's time to start dealing with the emotions without alcohol. I am lucky to get 6 hours of sleep a night, and once that first beer goes down it's a free for all with the food. I am ready to put alcohol behind me once and for all. I am with many of you...if it's in the house, I will drink it.
Good luck! We are here with you and for you. Arm yourself with a plan for when you may get a craving. What will you turn to? Maybe Tea, exercise, art, etc. Something to fill that void in case you’re bored.
I think many of us have drowned our pain/emotions with alcohol. Here’s to Day 2 tomorrow! You have what it takes! Xo2 -
Went out with a drinking buddy of mine. We sat at the bar. I had a big bottle of Perrier and a wine glass. She had two Long Island iced teas. After some honest conversations, she said to me. “I never thought you were an alcoholic. You never miss work. You aren’t like my Dad who was an alcoholic.” She meant well and continued to tell me how I dont have a problem. And I used alcohol to avoid facing big decisions in my life, etc. She is probably half right, but I didnt think for one second that I should go back to drinking. Sure, I haven’t hit rock bottom but that’s the point in quitting now. It’s before my life falls apart, lose a job, hurt someone, or hit rock bottom. I want to quit while I’m still fortunate enough to say I choose to quit.
Friday is coming; for those of you who are in the early days, don’t lament that you’ll miss your Friday night drinks and reward. Just think how wonderful and heavenly it will be to wake up Saturday morning hangover free, feeling energized, and knowing you have the whole day ahead to do something enjoyable or productive.6 -
It will be a quiet Halloween here as well. Our kids are grown, the grandboy will be turning 1 the next day, so he won't go to many houses ;-) When the kids were little, we always took a thermos of warm cider and Jim Beam. Lots of buzzed Halloweens for us, now it'll be iced tea for him and hot tea for me and I am not even mad about it.
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Hi I'm on day 5 of being AF. I have been heavily drinking for 10 to 15 years but I have been a secret drinker so I don't have anyone to share my AF journey with. I'm incredibly tired has anyone else experienced this.10
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Hi I'm on day 5 of being AF. I have been heavily drinking for 10 to 15 years but I have been a secret drinker so I don't have anyone to share my AF journey with. I'm incredibly tired has anyone else experienced this.
Sure ! I can relate - secret drinkers are plentiful. I watched a Video on tedtalk. You might get value from.
It's the author of "Drink".
https://youtu.be/LqtZjpI1oVQ
It may be geared to women but I think any drinker can relate. Xo0 -
Loved this, Julie, thanks for sharing. I read her book a few years ago. It is very powerful. Norm, good to see you again! Welcome to the new friends. We are glad you have joined us.1
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for some people, an alcoholic is still the deadbeat or bum. and before there was knowledge of the disease that was usually what happened to an alcoholic if they didn't end up in prison or die first
thankfully, people can get help now. and find other people with the same problem.
remember your secrets bind you in shame.2 -
Hi I'm on day 5 of being AF. I have been heavily drinking for 10 to 15 years but I have been a secret drinker so I don't have anyone to share my AF journey with. I'm incredibly tired has anyone else experienced this.
I'm on Day 5 and also a secret drinker when I'm not being a social drinker. I'm a bit tired--but not bloated and not feeling poisoned-tired. This is a great community and non-judgmental. And to Ruby's point, check out TedTalks--there are a lot of inspiring stories. And here's a story of a journalist who kept a secret for a long time, until it came out. https://abcnews.go.com/Health/abc-news-anchor-elizabeth-vargas-long-battle-alcoholism/story?id=41980399
Hugs...2 -
Happy Friday all,hit 30 days (again) yesterday and for some reason niggling thoughts have been creeping in,irritates me but they're just thoughts,,as long as I stick to my goal and not get too uneasy I'll be fine,its that uneasiness that is hard to get through,I hate it! Hope everyone has a great day 5
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mainelylisa wrote: »
Haha,I figured,they need to get something to replace woo I think its too confusing2 -
Thank you great video2
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I've been meaning to respond but every time I start I have to walk away and then the message clears
@whitpauly and @RubyRed427 touching on what you both said earlier..
I heard someone say (I think it was on MFP somewhere)..
Comparison is a thief of joy, in many cases.
Sometimes we use it as an excuse or a reason for our actions.
Drinking wasn't yet affecting my job, family, or responsibilities, it was affecting me. Like @RubyRed427 said, why would I want to wait until it got worse to change it, when it was already having a negative impact on my well being? Using the buzz as a reward or crutch during a bad time wasn't really changing reality. After the drinks, the problems were still there in addition to dehydration, stomach problems, bad breath, brain fuzz, lethargy, liver/kidney issues, skin issues, bloating, weight gain, less cash, etc..
The itch to get the Halloween drinks is real... but I know i'll feel guilty buying anything, and it won't be worth the buzz. Also, as many of you have said, it is nice to remember the fun times, and I think we can have a fun Halloween WOA!
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@Bobby959 YES, I was very tired for awhile & I know others were too...for me it was a couple of weeks if I remember correctly. Check out Craig Beck, Alcohol Mastery or Annie Grace on YouTube as they deal with why we go through a tired phase and other subjects relate to stopping drinking. 10 to 15 years is a long time of heavy drinking so your body is going to react...be patient, it does get better. But please check out some YouTube videos as support to help you educate yourself about alcohol and what it does to us. Lots of encouragement to keep you on the path to wellness....hoping the best for you. Keep checking in here and sharing your struggles & successes....Congrats on day 5!!!!
@RubyRed427 Very powerful video!! YES, "Keeping secrets keeps us sick" A very good friend of mine who has been one of my biggest supports through my transition to sobriety has a motto "LIVE OUT LOUD"
@Norminv Always good to hear from you....
@stimberlake14 You may notice that your emotions surface when you least expect it. Usually a trigger of some sort will unearth some buried stuff...at least that's been my experience. I've been dealing with a lot of anger. It can sometimes be a simmering, slow boil out of nowhere it seems. The anger is usually covering over some hurt that I've buried by drinking instead of thinking & once I process it & have a good bawl, it passes till the next phase of hurt erupts...but it IS coming out. Another good friend of mine encouraged me to view my tears as releasing the poison inside.
Hoping everyone has a great weekend 6 -
@jhilkene Comparison is a thief of joy, in many cases.
Sometimes we use it as an excuse or a reason for our actions.
This is brilliant. Thank you. I"m going to write that down and put it where I can see it every day.4 -
Hi, Everyone!
Just posting a quick update at almost 10 months AF. I've finally run a marathon, something that I've wanted to do for years!
I arrived at the starting line healthy, fully trained, ready, and excited to finally achieve a significant goal of mine. I steadfastly believe I could not have trained this hard and this consistently for all these months if I had continued drinking. All the pieces finally came together this year, and I fully believe the impromptu decision in January to stop drinking has been the catalyst for many positive changes in my life this year.
I'm so excited to share this with the group as I look to you for continuing support on this AF journey
A few minutes post-race:
On another topic, what strategies does everyone have regarding staying AF during the upcoming holidays? It just occurred to me the other day, as I'm planning the family gathering, that I'm always the one to bring the wine along with multiple side dishes & desserts. I don't think I'll have a problem not drinking, even though others around me are, but I'm also not planning on bringing any wine either.
Hope you all have a lovely weekend!
Karen10 -
islandbeez wrote: »Hi @NormInv ! Always nice to see you
always love to see you2 -
@kcn2bluesky Congratulations on your 10 months sober and running the marathon! Both of these are huge! As far as strategies for holiday sobriety, just offer to bring non alcoholic treats to a party. A side dish, cookies or dessert, a couple bottles of Pellegrino, sparkling cider etc. I am sure any contribution will be appreciated! I am not apologizing to anyone for not bringing addictive poison to their party.7
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