Red Flags

13567…12

Replies

  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    If all your ex wives and ex common laws were heiresses and corporate executives with MBAs
    *and*
    all your former consorts on the down low were waitresses, hat check girls and casino employees - that's a red flag flyin' high on the pole.

    I have missed you on these boards ... Welcome back!
  • jmule24
    jmule24 Posts: 1,382 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    I'm picky

    I don't ask for help even when I need it, stubborn I guess

    I overthink things so I need someone to be straightforward

    Can confirm..... :D
  • jmule24
    jmule24 Posts: 1,382 Member
    Red flag: when the stories they tell seem over the top.
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  • jaycanchu
    jaycanchu Posts: 265 Member
    Red Flags
    — treat servers bad
    — clingy
    — every conversation ends up about them
    — lies
    — heavy drinker

    I can be...
    - quiet
    - Depressed
    - Unfocused
    - Not touchy feely
  • Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings Posts: 5,545 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Introducing you to family too soon. I once had a boyfriend, we started dating on Monday and he invited me to his Easter dinner Friday to meet his family. Silly me went. We broke up a month later after he gave me a promise ring because I felt he was moving too fast.

    Apparently him inviting me to dinner wasn’t enough of a dead giveaway.

    I went out with a guy a total of 3 times and we texted casually here and there over the course of about 2 months. He started talking about selling his place and moving in with me to start a new life with my son and I. I wanted nothing to do with this so I flat out told him I did not care to see him again. His texts became insistent and pathetic. He terrified me to the point that I changed my number. This goes back to my red flag of, too much too soon. Nope.
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    george5911 wrote: »
    Red flags you should catch about me

    -I've been told I like to brood a lot and that I always seem down based on my (lack of) expression. Really I'm just the stoic type and I promise a nothing face is a happy face.

    -I have a tendency to follow through with bad choices and decisions to the end, just to learn what not to do again.

    -I like dogs more than people. A lot of people say this, but if a person and a dog were drowning in a river, I'd probably save the dog. You shoulda learned to swim.

    -I have no control when M&M's are in the equation. Game over.

    -I have control issues. Not so much as in what you do, but as in I'm driving, I'm pushing the cart, I'm doing the heavy lifting etc...

    -I love babies. I had 4. I still have them, and they are full blown children now. I still love them, but I miss babies. (not going to make anymore though, I promise)

    -I don't let things go because of the way you were raised. You should be at least 30 to talk to me, by now you've had plenty of time to figure the world out.


    Red Flags I'll catch about you

    -You want to date me seriously even though I live on my sisters sofa. I need to be held accountable too, and you have no standards.

    -You use astrology as your faith. What is the point if the story has already been written?

    -You have children from a previous relationship, but are not involved.

    -You can not turn your phone off and put it away for the weekend every once in a while. All those status updates and emails will still be there on Monday.

    -You're so independent that you won't allow me to open a door or pull up a chair for you. It isn't degrading to your abilities, it's just a nice thing to do and I do it for my guy pals too.

    So, are you single or nah?
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  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    I don't always follow directions well.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    A big red flag to me is seeing people have the same traits as which they claim to hate.....

    You are a font of inspiration.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    One of the red flags I watch out for are people that focus mostly on physical attributes. Besides the fact that that will not work out for them, it usually means that person is very shallow and pedantic. ;)
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    Red flags I see in others:
    lying, narcisssistic tendancies like being more concerned about what is good for you, than good for us, lack of manners, no compassion or empathy, not liking animals.


    Red Flags about me:
    I tend to get hurt rather than angry

    When I care for someone, I can be overly generous

    I am very, very independent and one of my phrases is "I am the only person who has to live with me forever"

    I hate a liar, and will call you on your lies

    I tend to be very direct and don't always sugar coat what I am thinking.

    I love animals and perfer their company to people (I'm the one that the party talking to the cat or dog) I have absolutely no tolerance for cruelty.

    I seem extroverted, but I am truly an introvert and I need time to recharge after being with people.
    I really don't love children, have never wanted any of my own and expect other people to have control of theirs. No, I don't think Junior is adorable when he runs around the tables in the restaurant or starts to shriek.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    A big red flag to me is seeing people have the same traits as which they claim to hate.....

    You are a font of inspiration.

    Hypocrisy bothers me

    Is this a swipe at me personally? Sorry if it's not but these Chit Chat waters get sharky sometimes and I assume the worst. Anyhow, I started a thread with this theme, that's all I meant about the "font of inspiration " thing. It was legit.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    One of my red flags is I'm a ham.
  • bojack5
    bojack5 Posts: 2,859 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    A big red flag to me is seeing people have the same traits as which they claim to hate.....

    You are a font of inspiration.

    Hypocrisy bothers me

    Is this a swipe at me personally? Sorry if it's not but these Chit Chat waters get sharky sometimes and I assume the worst. Anyhow, I started a thread with this theme, that's all I meant about the "font of inspiration " thing. It was legit.

    No definitely not a swipe. Just trying to clarify my position. I may not always agree with you, but i have never thought of you as a hypocrite at all. You think, i respect you.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    bojack5 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    bojack5 wrote: »
    A big red flag to me is seeing people have the same traits as which they claim to hate.....

    You are a font of inspiration.

    Hypocrisy bothers me

    Is this a swipe at me personally? Sorry if it's not but these Chit Chat waters get sharky sometimes and I assume the worst. Anyhow, I started a thread with this theme, that's all I meant about the "font of inspiration " thing. It was legit.

    No definitely not a swipe. Just trying to clarify my position. I may not always agree with you, but i have never thought of you as a hypocrite at all. You think, i respect you.

    Don't make me have an unrequited moonlight fantasy about carressing your rugged cheeks and gazing into your penetrating eyes. Again.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    Mr_Healthy_Habits wrote: »
    Wait I'm confused about the red flags... Are these supposed to be... Run if you see these traits in me... Or traits that would cause me to run when I see them in others?

    If the later, well then this is just like every other... What do you hate about people thread...

    If they are my own faults then, we'll that's rather interesting.

    I've thought about doing a thread before regarding our own faults... But it seems so many people here suffer from some type of depression or anxiety, so I felt it unwise to create something where people would just use it to bludgeon themselves...

    - I way, and I mean way over think and analyze everything... Everything. To the point of paralysis.

    I think the intention was what are your own faults. I feel like to some degree that is like an interview where someone asks your biggest weakness and you answer "I just work WAY too hard sometimes"

    You know what's funny...

    I've actually used that in an interview before lol, the fact that I over think things I meant...

    But seriously, I wish it was something I had better control of... I've listened to tons of audiobooks for just this issue.

    I know that I've already reached a decision subconsciously and that whatever is going to happen will happen regardless of my mullings, so why not just jump or eat the frog, bite the bullet or act...

    Although this is not always the case, ironically I don't really have this issue at work lol
  • george5911
    george5911 Posts: 3,910 Member
    Avocado_AS5 wrote: »
    george5911 wrote: »
    Red flags you should catch about me

    -I've been told I like to brood a lot and that I always seem down based on my (lack of) expression. Really I'm just the stoic type and I promise a nothing face is a happy face.

    -I have a tendency to follow through with bad choices and decisions to the end, just to learn what not to do again.

    -I like dogs more than people. A lot of people say this, but if a person and a dog were drowning in a river, I'd probably save the dog. You shoulda learned to swim.

    -I have no control when M&M's are in the equation. Game over.

    -I have control issues. Not so much as in what you do, but as in I'm driving, I'm pushing the cart, I'm doing the heavy lifting etc...

    -I love babies. I had 4. I still have them, and they are full blown children now. I still love them, but I miss babies. (not going to make anymore though, I promise)

    -I don't let things go because of the way you were raised. You should be at least 30 to talk to me, by now you've had plenty of time to figure the world out.


    Red Flags I'll catch about you

    -You want to date me seriously even though I live on my sisters sofa. I need to be held accountable too, and you have no standards.

    -You use astrology as your faith. What is the point if the story has already been written?

    -You have children from a previous relationship, but are not involved.

    -You can not turn your phone off and put it away for the weekend every once in a while. All those status updates and emails will still be there on Monday.

    -You're so independent that you won't allow me to open a door or pull up a chair for you. It isn't degrading to your abilities, it's just a nice thing to do and I do it for my guy pals too.

    So, are you single or nah?

    Very! Fits good too!
  • Mean_Spice
    Mean_Spice Posts: 279 Member
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »
    Everyone has their quirks and idiosyncrasies. What you might see as a red flag in one person, you are willing to work through with another. I think it depends on what you know and how long you have known the person and what type of relationship has been established. If I've chatted with you a handful of times and a flag goes up, I'm out. If some sort of relationship has been established and I see a I'm more willing to work through it, depending of course on what the red flag is. Some red flags are a simple misunderstandings, Some are because the person in question is in fact unstable.

    Best yet, thread over :-)
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
    I tend to prefer sleep over hanging out.
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