The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I’m starting to stop counting my days (even though I am over 100 ) because I want my alcohol free life to be normal to me. I think I am ever so slowing realizing that I can have fun in life without it.
Today after work, I went to a yoga class. I am trying something new. I enjoyed it but it is difficult to hold those poses! Anyways, I had a flashback to a few years ago. I would take a barre class at 6:15 p.m. after having a glass of wine because I had to have a drink after work to unwind. I also remember scheduling earlier workout classes , so I can drink afterwards sooner. Scheduling exercise around my drinking!
The other flashback I have is a snapshot of all my birthday gifts from my girlfriends one year. They were all gifts related to WINE! I mean either bottles of wine, fancy fun wine glasses, etc.. If I find that picture, I’m going to share it here. It was actually pretty sad. I lined up all my gifts to take a picture because I was starting to realize that this is not a good sign that all my gifts were of alcohol.
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@RubyRed427 I don't actively count anymore, either. I have a counter on my reddit account, so I can check that. I found counting wasn't encouraging a "normal" thought process about alcohol at all and it would make me feel like I deserved a reward every time I hit a higher day count. Two weeks? Earned a drink day. 30 days? Same. 45? Same and so on. It was frustrating!6
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Hi all, I've fallen behind in this thread, but will try to catch up.
I haven't been counting, but my Nomo app told me yesterday I've now reached 9 months. That was nice to know!7 -
@EIC_76 I totally get it. I have felt the same way. For years. Like @RubyRed427 says, these habits are ingrained. You think, "how can I possibly have fun without it??" It helped me to envision alcohol as a bad boyfriend. Yes, he is fun and sexy for a while, but eventually the bad outweighs the good and you don't want to put up with him anymore.
Maybe this video will help. I have also ordered the book, "The unexpected Joy of being Sober." It has a lot of positive feedback and I am looking forward to reading it. Good luck. We are here for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCvdq4RVZPk4 -
@JenT304 Thank you for that video. Always good to be reminded of the upside of being sober. I thought it was interesting when she listed some comics who are sober. Those whose job is to make US have a good time are teetotalers!!
@ElC_76 Hang in there! It does get better. Just listen to your gut & you may need to avoid your triggers for awhile which may mean NOT being around others who are drinking. I like the point in the video where she says that. "if there are certain places or people that you can only tolerate under the influence of a drug like alcohol then you're not really enjoying them in the first place, why spend your life doing things you don't really enjoy. There's no point, and there are things you'll enjoy more without alcohol in the picture" FUN IS FUN!! Alcohol does not MAKE it fun! Like she said we are brainwashed & conditioned into associating alcohol with fun by advertisers.
Hi @Orphia nice to see you again...I wondered where you've been
As far as counting days, I agree...at first it's helpful, but now it feels normal not to drink so there's no need to count. At the same time, I still have the app on my phone & I'm checking today to see my stats. more interesting to me is how much money I have stopped wasting & the number of drinks that have not poisoned my liver any further. I will keep the app on my phone because there are certain health stats such as cancer & liver function that take years before they are back to square. AND 6 months sober & one year sober are goals for me that my app can track, but I don't need to look at it every day anymore5 -
another thing about having fun with out drinking happened Halloween nite. We went to a get together and I don't drink, but.......the crowd does. Cool , no problems, 90% are moderate drinkers. 2 drinks for them is sufficient, and these people have no problems. But.............2 women there get very aggressive after they start drinking. I kind of was apprehensive about going, the one is volunteering as a judge for the elections. We have a very close race for Congress and when this one starts to drink heavily, she then gets on her soap box and dictates what everyone in the room should think and who we have to vote for..........I have a tendency to leave the area, politics and a party with all kinds of people can be a powder keg. We left early, didn't want to listen to an intoxicated person go and on about one party that she loathes...............so, what I what I was getting to, is its no fun to be around intoxicated people who get abrasive and rude....then they seem to forget what they said , and how rude they were..............another plus not to drink for me..............just wanted to pass this on. Ruby, also, I don't count anymore for the most. I do remember I had some wine the day I was around family, lol, but it was just a glass or so.............family is another story...............best wishes to each of you all, we will make it..3
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if it makes you all feel better, i've been asked not to return to restaurants more often with my sober friends (meeting after the meeting) than my drinking friends
fun is totally possible without alcohol. my family doesn't drink often, most of my friends don't and we are always going on adventures. my friend and i go on food adventures trying the awesome food in our area. there is a group of young sober people who do things every weekend like crossfit to kayaking to camping to fourth of july.
the good news is without drinking there is no hangover and you can have adventures the next day too2 -
@RubyRed427 I also have received cards that center on wine/alcohol for my birthday. The worst is when they have come from my grown daughters. Oh, the burning shame I felt, and still feel at the memories. That thought alone could keep me sober. I have not yet told them I am alcohol free though when one tried to "thank" me for something by giving me a bottle I politely declined it. I have decided not to tell them. They will figure it out for themselves. The younger one lives in London, where we will be visiting over Christmas. She drinks very rarely. I am sure she will notice me NOT ordering glass after glass of wine. I am looking forward to having a wonderful, sober and therefore MEMORABLE, visit.4
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If you need further assurance of what alcohol does to us, read this. Some of the comments are heartbreaking. I post this not to scare people (though it scared me) but to help us keep our resolve.
https://www.ashwoodrecovery.com/blog/liver-repair-physically-heal-alcohol-abuse/1 -
If you need further assurance of what alcohol does to us, read this. Some of the comments are heartbreaking. I post this not to scare people (though it scared me) but to help us keep our resolve.
https://www.ashwoodrecovery.com/blog/liver-repair-physically-heal-alcohol-abuse/
Yes, Jen, the comments break my heart. So young some of them are. To have a lifelong illness because of alcohol seems so pointless. What I mean is it is so ridiculous that the alcohol industry and our society give a big thumbs up to drinking. I know of a few people who have died of pure alcoholism.
My cousin’s wife was hospitalized because her liver and organs were failing. And when she was released, got into the car, she screamed at her husband because he didn’t bring a bottle of vodka for her. She died soon thereafter. Alcoholism is a disease. It is an illness. But it is treatable. I got hope from the one comment from a person who said she couldn’t go one hour without drinking but now is sober.
I have deep empathy for anyone struggling. It’s a terrible way to live being addicted and feeling lost. Xo2 -
another thing about having fun with out drinking happened Halloween nite. We went to a get together and I don't drink, but.......the crowd does. Cool , no problems, 90% are moderate drinkers. 2 drinks for them is sufficient, and these people have no problems. But.............2 women there get very aggressive after they start drinking. I kind of was apprehensive about going, the one is volunteering as a judge for the elections. We have a very close race for Congress and when this one starts to drink heavily, she then gets on her soap box and dictates what everyone in the room should think and who we have to vote for..........I have a tendency to leave the area, politics and a party with all kinds of people can be a powder keg. We left early, didn't want to listen to an intoxicated person go and on about one party that she loathes...............so, what I what I was getting to, is its no fun to be around intoxicated people who get abrasive and rude....then they seem to forget what they said , and how rude they were..............another plus not to drink for me..............just wanted to pass this on. Ruby, also, I don't count anymore for the most. I do remember I had some wine the day I was around family, lol, but it was just a glass or so.............family is another story...............best wishes to each of you all, we will make it..
Ouch! I know some aggressive drunks. I also would cry and scream at my husband at times when I was drunk. And then the next morning, sheepishly , ask for forgiveness. I was so embarrassed at some of my behavior.
He would say “why cant you just stop at one drink. “ And I would tell him I have no idea why I cant stop. Now, I know why. That’s how my brain is wired.
Thanks for sharing your story. You made me chuckle when you said “family is another story.”.2 -
@JenT304 I loved the video you posted about having fun without alcohol. Thanks! I inspires me to keep going.1
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Hello all. I love this thread. I decided about a month ago to stop drinking completely. I have a few reasons for this. One, I have a big conviction on it(this is just for me personally). For me it is not conducive to my personal walk as a Christian since I overindulge when I have drank and in my opinion it completely ruins my testimony. Drinking also leads to eating my feelings so to speak, so I totally sabotage my healthy lifestyle. I have come to the realization that I am an alcoholic, and like most a very high functioning one. I used to get,and still do , agitated and uneasy when I don't deal with the mental part of addiction which is dealing with anger, bitterness, and resentment this stems from expectations on people and trying to be in control all the time I am also a recovering codependent and have done alanon and worked the 12 steps to completion but that is always a work in progress and know I have some serious step work to do. Two, I do keto and well alcohol and keto just don't mix lol. I look forward to connecting with others on here in staying sober and encouraging each other.4
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chainsbroken0307 wrote: »Hello all. I love this thread. I decided about a month ago to stop drinking completely. I have a few reasons for this. One, I have a big conviction on it(this is just for me personally). For me it is not conducive to my personal walk as a Christian since I overindulge when I have drank and in my opinion it completely ruins my testimony. Drinking also leads to eating my feelings so to speak, so I totally sabotage my healthy lifestyle. I have come to the realization that I am an alcoholic, and like most a very high functioning one. I used to get,and still do , agitated and uneasy when I don't deal with the mental part of addiction which is dealing with anger, bitterness, and resentment this stems from expectations on people and trying to be in control all the time I am also a recovering codependent and have done alanon and worked the 12 steps to completion but that is always a work in progress and know I have some serious step work to do. Two, I do keto and well alcohol and keto just don't mix lol. I look forward to connecting with others on here in staying sober and encouraging each other.
So nice to hear from you! Looking forward to hearing more about your journey. Xo1 -
Happy Sober Saturday to all!4
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chainsbroken0307 wrote: »Hello all. I love this thread. I decided about a month ago to stop drinking completely. I have a few reasons for this. One, I have a big conviction on it(this is just for me personally). For me it is not conducive to my personal walk as a Christian since I overindulge when I have drank and in my opinion it completely ruins my testimony. Drinking also leads to eating my feelings so to speak, so I totally sabotage my healthy lifestyle. I have come to the realization that I am an alcoholic, and like most a very high functioning one. I used to get,and still do , agitated and uneasy when I don't deal with the mental part of addiction which is dealing with anger, bitterness, and resentment this stems from expectations on people and trying to be in control all the time I am also a recovering codependent and have done alanon and worked the 12 steps to completion but that is always a work in progress and know I have some serious step work to do. Two, I do keto and well alcohol and keto just don't mix lol. I look forward to connecting with others on here in staying sober and encouraging each other.
Hi there: Welcome to our group I can identify with you on several different levels, in fact I feel like I could have written most of what you wrote. Have you ever read anything by Melody Beattie? She writes a lot about codependency. One particularly helpful book from her is The Language of Letting Go. It is a compilation of daily meditations from her other books on codependency. Hope to hear from you regularly as you face various challenges & share how you conquer them!!! You CAN do this!!
I said I was going to check my quit drinking app & I forgot to LOL...to me that is a really good indicator that counting is not my thing anymore BUT now that I've remembered.......drum roll please.......Been sober 155 days & 11 hours (but who's counting ) I've saved $888 and my liver has been spared 555 drinks.
I'm SO glad I've done this & didn't wait until I had some health scare to force me into quitting like those in the video Jen shared.5 -
9 days without a drink. I cut out alcohol and snacking between meals and I’m drinking more water. I’m down 3lbs. Progress not perfection.6
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@lorrainequiche59 I have not read those but am always willing to be open to it. I know what I need to do, just need to do it lol. Step work is key and it has been probably two years since I have done it. I am thankful for alanon. It and my sponsor who is amazing and would never "cosign my bs" allowed me to grow, change, and accept people for who they are. However, when one stops doing what works, then one will revert back to old behaviors. So for me, I went back to trying to fix people and drinking right along with them. Also I turn to food and then feel like crud and it is just a vicious cycle that repeats. So I eat when hungry and track what I eat. I don't go out with the acquaintances anymore because I just don't want to be around the bar scene. I am focused on my relationship with Jesus and developing friendships with those I meet at church. As soon as I am done with this semester, I will be attending celebrate recovery.4
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Thanku for sharing your experience with us. However I am struggling with that idea, not having fun without alcohol. Also seeing others drinking and enjoying themselves is a trigger for me.
It takes time for new habits to be comfortable and feel like one's natural state. There maybe moments when one must take it one minute at a time.
"Friends" that have issues with alcohol may also try to sabotage because they don't don't want to deal with it.
We can only control our own choices.
Swimming is a better drug than alcohol ever was for me. None of the nasty side effects. Ha!
Just one minute, one hour, one day at a time.5
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