Less Alcohol - November 2018 - One Day at a Time

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  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
    iholly1212 wrote: »
    Please add me. I’m on my 3rd day of sobriety and think this thread will benefit me immensely.

    Hi and welcome! You don't need to be added, you're already here! Take a few minutes to read through the helpful tips and resources on the front page in the original post - there is a wealth of information here! There's another thread called "The Sober Squad" that you may like to follow along with as well. Best of luck with your goals.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    iholly1212 wrote: »
    Please add me. I’m on my 3rd day of sobriety and think this thread will benefit me immensely.

    @iholly1212 I'm tagging you so you get a reminder to come back.

    You can always find us in the Challenges forum in Community.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    ckparis wrote: »
    Made it through day one, on to day two!!

    @ckparis Yay, that's great!!!
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    Because of that, I have had some days where I drank that I didn't intend to, one day (my birthday)
    HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY.
    So great to hear your keeping it all in check with moderation! 😎

  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    iholly1212 wrote: »
    Please add me. I’m on my 3rd day of sobriety and think this thread will benefit me immensely.
    Welcome to our "mighty" group of people that want to drink less, what ever that may mean for each of us. Congrats on 3 days!
    Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »
    Had a good week last week but drank on the weekend. Not as much as I normally do, but more than I was planning to.
    Good to see you again. Your awareness is half the battle.
    ckparis wrote: »
    Made it through day one, on to day two!!
    Woo hoo....one day at a time as it says in the forum title. Cheering for you.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
    Thanks for the support, everyone! Day 4 AF for me. I have a big weekend ahead. My husband surprised me with tickets to a concert and a romantic weekend away. I had a melanoma diagnosis in September and with the surgery results unknown, we decided to cancel our years-in-the-making family trip to Hawaii in December. Now that I am recovering, he thought it would be nice to get away. Unfortunately, he has planned visits to some wineries, as that is the feature of where we are going. So, I need to decide whether I say no or try to be moderate. I should be okay at the concert now that I have decided to have caloric beverages; I can be the driver.

    @Orphia I don’t know about bitters. Is that like tonic water? Congratulations on winning the cash, and it is great to hear that the experience of not drinking at the pub felt good, was supported, and not too difficult for you.

    @EIC_76 Congrats! I understand what you mean about hesitating to share. Accountability is a double-edged sword lol

    @Will_Run_for_Food Thanks for sharing the book and podcast. I haven’t heard of either before, but I am a voracious reader so will look into that book.

    @WinoGelato Belated happy birthday! Mindful moderation without too much focus sounds ideal. Well done!
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    ckparis wrote: »
    Made it through day one, on to day two!!

    @ckparis Yay, that's great!!!

    Yes, yay!
  • Will_Run_for_Food
    Will_Run_for_Food Posts: 561 Member
    The mornings always seem so much easier than the evenings, don't they?

    I'm on to day 4 and hoping I can keep this streak going. This weekend will be tough, starting with tonight: my mom is visiting. Not that she stresses me out, but we usually imbibe in a few glasses of wine when she visits. I'm sure I can abstain tonight, but tomorrow we are going to a concert and on Saturday we are going to visit family friends - and it's ALWAYS a party with them.

    I'm taking this one day at a time, so I'm trying not to think too far ahead. It has been so great waking up this week feeling rested and hangover-free. I've been so much more productive at work and at home, have slept better and have been much less irritable in the mornings. Normally I hate my commute into work (~45 minute bus ride), but this week I have embraced it by listening to podcasts I enjoy.

    I haven't made the decision to abstain entirely yet, but I think that may end up being where I end up at some point. Based on what I've learned through This Naked Mind and the Recovery Elevator podcast, moderating will be difficult if not impossible for me. I've accepted I will never be a normal drinker. But I'm also open to the idea that never drinking again can be a beautiful thing.

    This weekend, I may experiment. I may try to see if I can enjoy the concert sans booze. Then, I will either abstain on Saturday, or try to be mindful and see if it really is the booze I'm "enjoying", or if I think I can be happy just being around the people I love (even if they're all drinking).

    But again...one day - nay - one hour at a time!
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    I'm going to join for a bit. I've done a few random months in the past. Right now I'm trying to lose a pound or two before visiting family for Thanksgiving and the main thing that holds me back is alcohol. I have definitely built up a tolerance to it so I'm finding myself drinking an extra beer or extra mixed drink that I wouldn't have had in years previous and all those calories add up. Two other things keeping me going are how much better my work outs are in the mornings after a night of no drinking, and my face/skin/hair just look so much better after abstaining for a while. I'm on day 4 AF right now (I had planned on Halloween being my last day but we had a lot of beer left over that I ended up drinking last weekend, :# ).

    I have been thinking about my over all goal and I'd like to, in general, abstain on nights where I have to work the next day, other than the odd beer or two I'll share with DH while cooking on some weekday evenings. I think my biggest issue is that if I have alcohol in the house, I will be drinking it (unless it's a beer of DH's that I don't enjoy). The frugal person in me wants to get the big bottle of rum because it's cheaper in the long run, but if I get the smaller bottle then there won't be any left in the house to drink after it's gone.

    I am always thankful to have this thread to come back to and getting to read everyone's progress and pit falls day to day. Thanks for keeping it going!
  • pjmfitforme
    pjmfitforme Posts: 161 Member
    MonkeyMel21 wrote: »
    I'm going to join for a bit. I've done a few random months in the past. Right now I'm trying to lose a pound or two before visiting family for Thanksgiving and the main thing that holds me back is alcohol. I have definitely built up a tolerance to it so I'm finding myself drinking an extra beer or extra mixed drink that I wouldn't have had in years previous and all those calories add up. Two other things keeping me going are how much better my work outs are in the mornings after a night of no drinking, and my face/skin/hair just look so much better after abstaining for a while. I'm on day 4 AF right now (I had planned on Halloween being my last day but we had a lot of beer left over that I ended up drinking last weekend, :# ).

    I have been thinking about my over all goal and I'd like to, in general, abstain on nights where I have to work the next day, other than the odd beer or two I'll share with DH while cooking on some weekday evenings. I think my biggest issue is that if I have alcohol in the house, I will be drinking it (unless it's a beer of DH's that I don't enjoy). The frugal person in me wants to get the big bottle of rum because it's cheaper in the long run, but if I get the smaller bottle then there won't be any left in the house to drink after it's gone.

    I am always thankful to have this thread to come back to and getting to read everyone's progress and pit falls day to day. Thanks for keeping it going!

    This is so me. I am doing abstinence during the week and drinking (moderately) on the weekends. My work days have been so much better.

    And like you, I buy the bigger bottle because it is cheaper-then struggle since it is there. My hubby wanted to go for a drink last night and I said “no, remember I am not drinking during the week “. He was fine with it.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    RunRachelleRun wrote: »
    Thanks for the support, everyone! Day 4 AF for me. I have a big weekend ahead. My husband surprised me with tickets to a concert and a romantic weekend away. I had a melanoma diagnosis in September and with the surgery results unknown, we decided to cancel our years-in-the-making family trip to Hawaii in December. Now that I am recovering, he thought it would be nice to get away. Unfortunately, he has planned visits to some wineries, as that is the feature of where we are going. So, I need to decide whether I say no or try to be moderate. I should be okay at the concert now that I have decided to have caloric beverages; I can be the driver.

    @Orphia I don’t know about bitters. Is that like tonic water? Congratulations on winning the cash, and it is great to hear that the experience of not drinking at the pub felt good, was supported, and not too difficult for you.

    Maybe drink in moderation on your special weekend, and make a rule of having one wine per day.

    If you visit a couple of wineries per day, maybe do the swill/spit thing you're supposed to do when tasting, and save the glass of wine to have with dinner?

    Angostura Bitters: "a concentrated bitters (herbal alcoholic preparation) based on gentian, herbs and spices,[1] by House of Angostura in Trinidad and Tobago" ..."Angostura bitters are extremely concentrated and may be an acquired taste; though 44.7% alcohol by volume, bitters are not normally ingested undiluted, but instead are used in small amounts as flavouring.[7]"

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angostura_bitters

    You only add a splash of it - maybe 20 drops - so Bitters, Lime and Lemon is considered an AF drink.

    Bitters adds a red tinge to your drinks. Not sure I can really taste much difference, but kinda spicy/sweet.

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »
    The mornings always seem so much easier than the evenings, don't they?

    I'm on to day 4 and hoping I can keep this streak going. This weekend will be tough, starting with tonight: my mom is visiting. Not that she stresses me out, but we usually imbibe in a few glasses of wine when she visits. I'm sure I can abstain tonight, but tomorrow we are going to a concert and on Saturday we are going to visit family friends - and it's ALWAYS a party with them.

    I'm taking this one day at a time, so I'm trying not to think too far ahead. It has been so great waking up this week feeling rested and hangover-free. I've been so much more productive at work and at home, have slept better and have been much less irritable in the mornings. Normally I hate my commute into work (~45 minute bus ride), but this week I have embraced it by listening to podcasts I enjoy.

    I haven't made the decision to abstain entirely yet, but I think that may end up being where I end up at some point. Based on what I've learned through This Naked Mind and the Recovery Elevator podcast, moderating will be difficult if not impossible for me. I've accepted I will never be a normal drinker. But I'm also open to the idea that never drinking again can be a beautiful thing.

    This weekend, I may experiment. I may try to see if I can enjoy the concert sans booze. Then, I will either abstain on Saturday, or try to be mindful and see if it really is the booze I'm "enjoying", or if I think I can be happy just being around the people I love (even if they're all drinking).

    But again...one day - nay - one hour at a time!

    @Will_Run_4_Food You're doing great, and seeing real results!!

    For social situations, my thinking goes like this:

    While the others get less coherent and thoughtful as time goes on, I find I gain insight from observing their behaviour.

    I try to rise above the situation. I try to be an attentive listener, and do and say things that help the others have a good evening.

    It doesn't help if I wallow in worry and respond to the conversation negatively.

    I make my exit when I've had enough and done enough for others.
  • ckparis
    ckparis Posts: 9 Member
    Day three nice to meet you :) Feeling pretty good so far.
  • RunRachelleRun
    RunRachelleRun Posts: 1,854 Member
    @Orphia Thank you for that advice. I have not been to many wineries. I have no idea how many we would visit, but I will utilize the spit bucket. It wouldn't have even occurred to me not to drink the wine if I go. Much appreciated!

    I may have a bottle of bitters in my cupboard from years ago when I tried to make a martini for company. I assumed it was alcoholic (I bought it at the liquor store) and didn't make the connection when I read your post. I will have to take a look, give it a try, and see if it is something I can ask for when I am out. I love sour things.

    It is nice that you are gaining insight from observing others. I worry I won't be so tolerant, particularly with a few friends who drink quite heavily. I've been avoiding social situations where I know there will be drinking. I went to the movies with one of those friends the other night, and she must have had a drink or two before, because I could smell it on her the whole time. My husband had a beer after his 10K race on Sunday, and the smell was prominent when we went in the car shortly after. Anyone else notice they are becoming more sensitive to the smell of alcohol? This happened to me with cigarettes when I quit smoking 20+ years ago. The smell still bothers me today.

    I can relate to always buying the larger size. I don't drink hard alcohol often, but I always buy 12 bottles of wine to get the 5% discount. I drink way more often by having bottles around whenever I get the inkling. I am going to stop doing that.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    RunRachelleRun wrote: »
    @Orphia Thank you for that advice. I have not been to many wineries. I have no idea how many we would visit, but I will utilize the spit bucket. It wouldn't have even occurred to me not to drink the wine if I go. Much appreciated!

    I may have a bottle of bitters in my cupboard from years ago when I tried to make a martini for company. I assumed it was alcoholic (I bought it at the liquor store) and didn't make the connection when I read your post. I will have to take a look, give it a try, and see if it is something I can ask for when I am out. I love sour things.

    It is nice that you are gaining insight from observing others. I worry I won't be so tolerant, particularly with a few friends who drink quite heavily. I've been avoiding social situations where I know there will be drinking. I went to the movies with one of those friends the other night, and she must have had a drink or two before, because I could smell it on her the whole time. My husband had a beer after his 10K race on Sunday, and the smell was prominent when we went in the car shortly after. Anyone else notice they are becoming more sensitive to the smell of alcohol? This happened to me with cigarettes when I quit smoking 20+ years ago. The smell still bothers me today.

    I can relate to always buying the larger size. I don't drink hard alcohol often, but I always buy 12 bottles of wine to get the 5% discount. I drink way more often by having bottles around whenever I get the inkling. I am going to stop doing that.

    Bitters has a 44% alcohol content, but the amount you need is tiny, so it doesn't affect you. I just add a dash to my fruit juice & sparkling water in the evening.

    I don't like the smell of alcohol on clothes either, and I also dread walking past someone smoking.

    Re: buying larger amounts of alcohol to save money:

    I've learned that you often need to pay more for food if you want to eat less of it. e.g. packets of snack pack crisps or chocolate rather than family bags/blocks, or single serve yoghurt, or icecream bars instead of tubs of icecream.

    You can't trust people to serve themselves smaller portions, so I make a point of buying things in portion sizes I'm confident using.

    I never bought beer in large bottles, just small, nor wine by the dozen, as I had enough trouble serving myself just one (big) glass from a wine bottle, and even then I usually had another glass.

    I did like those mini bottles of bubbly that came in 3 packs. Those were easy to have just one of.
  • ckparis
    ckparis Posts: 9 Member
    Rounding out day 4. It’s Friday but no plans tonight so should be able to finish the evening with no hurdles. :)
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    @bevin1972 A big welcome and I do believe you have come to the right place.

    First off...the left over box of wine. It is truly your call on that. Maybe for now you could put it out in your garage or an out building. That way it is more of an effort to get a glass filled up. And you can think about whether you need it or not if your walking a distance to get to it.

    I did experience night sweats when cutting back. So yea that is your body cleaning out the toxins.

    Please don't ever feel embarrassed to say anything or ask a question. We don't judge anyone here. We don't encourage total sobriety for the rest of your life. It is a journey of less drinking at your own pace and level.

    Not sure if you checked out page one of this thread , but it is full of helpful tidbits for everyone to use.

    So glad you found our group and are here to cut back. Congrats on three days. I remember those 3 days felt like 3 months, it will get easier.....I promise.
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    I'd definitely get night sweats when quitting but luckily for me it only lasts 2-3 nights,good job on everyone sticking to your goals!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    pjmfitforme wrote: »
    I have to say, I am loving my new approach. Info AF Sunday through Thursday and allow myself to drink on the weekends. I do not over indulge on the weekends. I have found I sleep better during the week. I am seriously considering a dry January. I did it a couple of years ago.

    @pjmfitforme Wow, moderating like a pro!! Love it.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    Welcome both @SkinnyGirlCarrie and @raindogmaa it is great to have you on our thread. Both of you have had some bad run ins with the alcohol as we all have. YAY for coming to the step that allows you to be around others that are or did have the same struggles.
    Share any thing and ask any thing you care to. Your important to us!! 😊
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    bevin1972 wrote: »
    Just checking in, made it through the weekend af, so today is Day 5. As to my box of wine, well I realized yesterday I would have finished it so I just poured it out. What an eye opener on the amount I was putting in my body watching it go down the drain😳😱anyway I felt this amazing giddiness knowing it’s gone. I even cleaned out the fridge.
    BRAVO @bevin1972 !! That is a big step to do "the drain pour". Love the fact you became giddi. Look at those days talling up fast and furious. Keep it going.
  • MissMay
    MissMay Posts: 3,785 Member
    @forestdweller1 awesome job to almost your goal weight. And for the almost 5 month AF. That is remarkable. YES keep away from the x SIL

    Also, thanks for your kind words. It is my pleasure to help. 😊
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