The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Was at a friends for coffee this morn. Of course there was Baileys & I had cream...she told us a humorous story of a time when her & her paraplegic bro were at a resort in Mexico...she was wheeling him down a rough stone path to the beach & it was quite bumpy so she was relieved to see a huge beautiful deck at the end of the path looking out over the ocean...she wheeled him onto the deck & there was this statue holding a tray of various types of tequila...she says to her Bro, "What kinda resort IS THIS??? They even have tequila strategically placed on the beach!!" As they finished off their 3rd shot they see a wedding party heading down the beach toward them & they clue in that the tray of tequila belongs to the wedding party LOL She said there was no way they could make a quick escape due to the stony path they arrived on. So they waited for the party to get to them & made their apologies & were told, "No problem!!"
As we were leaving her place today there was a case of gin on the floor & my other friend commented on it & our Tequila drinking friend said she special ordered it from Vancouver for a friend in the States who had requested it...her in-laws are coming to Canada for a couple of weeks & were taking it back to deliver it...anyway, the conversation led to talk about some place nearby where you can make your own gin & the fine art of that etc. As they're talking, I'm looking into the dining room & there is a long centerpiece on the dining room table with a bottle of wine in it & a variety of wine glasses. I am taking all of this in and as the day progresses find myself "wishing" I could drink. Of course, I do the pep talk & rather than focus on what I miss about drinking, remind myself of the benefits of not drinking & the disastrous consequences of sliding down the slippery slope. One sip would be all it would take. I KNOW that for a fact. I also know this is a very LONG spiel, but I need to vent this...so, please be patient if you're reading
This is the first time in a very long time that I have even thought about what I miss about drinking. I think it has been a progressive seed planted in my brain in the past few days...receiving a couple bottles of wine & strategizing what to do with them. Of course, there is this season which lends itself to alcohol with extra emphasis on ride programs on the roads to discourage drunk driving, and the attention & discussion around drinking around the holiday etc....and then today was a full-on, in-my-face reminder that I do not drink & most of my friends do. I have carefully kept myself sheltered from temptation. AND I've needed to carefully keep myself from temptation!!!
Anyway, I'm going to watch a couple of Craig Beck/Annie Grace videos to reinforce my conviction...just cause! The thing is, this too shall pass and when the season is over I will be SO glad that I do not drink!
Hoping everyone is happy & healthy
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I had a vivid drinking dream last night for the first time in several months. In the dream I knew I was breaking sobriety and when I woke up I was freaked out for a minute thinking I had been drinking the night before. In 3 days, on Christmas, I will be 18 months AF. Then the next day I turn 60 meeting my goal - fit, trim (BMI ~24) and AF for over a year. That doesn't mean I get to be done with any of that of course.11
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I've been sober for 32 years, working the AA program. It has worked well for me. I put this out here not as a point for/of debate, just as a possible solution. Peace.
[edited by MFP Mods]
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I wasn't a big drinker but I've been alcohol-free (and free of other drugs) since September 15.
I went out that night and there was a guy with a drinking problem in the group I was with, and he was a nice guy but once drunk he started "oversharing" and being loud and boisterous. He wasn't doing anything objectively "bad" but everyone else in the group got weirded out for some reason and they asked him to leave. It was at a bar, drinking was expected to occur, yet people got offended when someone got intoxicated in the "wrong" way. It turned me off the whole social drinking thing.
Since that time I've only found more reasons not to drink or do other drugs. For example, seeing how many musicians I admire either died or had other problems from substance abuse. I'm pretty tired of seeing that happen honestly. My brother is also a recovering alcoholic and 90% of our fights happened while he was drunk, he totaled his car when driving drunk (I know), and in general he was a real a-hole when he was drinking. Even though I was never a big drinker, even I had my share of nights in college where things either went wrong, or I put myself in very sketchy situations, due to being intoxicated.
I still go out just as much as I did before with the same people. I just get a non-alcoholic drink while everyone else is drinking. Nobody has asked about it and if they did, I would just say alcohol gives me insomnia, because it actually does. I still have just as fun of a time as my friends do.8 -
@CarvedTones Happy Birthday! You made a lot of great strides this past year continuing your quest to be healthy overall.
@chazbike9 Nice to hear from you. Congrats on 32 years! I can see great value in AA.
@laurenq1991 Great post. Very insightful and inspiring !4 -
Good morning, all! I had a quiet few days. Husband has been out with our friends celebrating. I just chose to stay home. Went to a coffee shop Saturday evening to escape the craving to sneak and pour a vodka. It was so empty there! I wondered where do People go to avoid the bar scene on a Saturday night, maybe they just stay home. Maybe it’s only me that wants to avoid the bars...,maybe go to AA. just rambling.
Like a few of you, when I get bored, I feel lonely and down, and then I want to just make a cocktail. I won’t. So, that’s why I had to go and have some coffee. Tonight, I’ll paint to cure the boredom. Have a happy day! Xo
@lorrainequiche59 I hear you! I can see that being surrounded in that home with alcohol started to make you twinge. It’s kind of like when I watch shows where the characters are always drinking like Peaky Blinders or Mad Men, I start to think how good that whiskey looks, and I dont even drink whiskey! Happy you withstood the pressure and the wine bottles at home. Xo You are strong!! Keep up the great work!7 -
Happy Sunday all! Lorraine,it's those rose colored glasses we put on sometimes when we think of drinking,only remembering the good or fun parts about it but forgetting the yuck stuff,which for me at this point it's all yuck stuff! A few hours MAYBE of what I was fantasizing about,the rest a mess,Carved Tones,fantastic work on all points! Happy Birthday
Ruby,I've taken to watching General Hospital in the afternoon cuz it's on when I get off work(don't judge I'm embarrassed by it haha) but they drink a lot on that show and yeah sometimes I hanker for their bourbon or wine and those are defo nothing I ever drank either! Bought my daughter a bottle of chardonnay today for Christmas and it felt weird,I've never bought wine in my life so when they asked for ID I was like what for? Duh,stupid wine is alcohol,I only bought it for her cuz I found a cute little fur coat for a wine bottle and she's a "normal" drinker so I don't think it's that weird to buy it,,,is it? It's not anybody else's problem that I have a problem,,grr,now I question my decision to have bought it but I figure she'd be buying some anyway but I don't think I'll buy booze for anybody anymore anyways as it did make me a bit uncomfortable,hope everyone is sticking to their goals and enjoying their day 3 -
Hi! I am cutting out my empty calories. I really enjoy wine; however, too much. I have made poor choices while drinking and time to clean up my act! My husband and I are on vacation and monitoring my alcohol intake. I feel really good that I am making healthier choices. My head is clearer, sleeping better and working out. Needless to say I understand easy to slip back into old habits. Time to break free!
Best to everyone! Add me if you would like support.7 -
@lorrainequiche59 Hugs!
There is a whole culture and in-crowd "mystique" to alcohol and its products. So much pretension associated with particular brands of drinks and their rarity or pedigree. "Wine snobbery" always makes you feel bad. xo
I'm looking at it as being kind of like Philately (Stamp Collecting).
I'm not interested in Stamp Collecting in the slightest. A workmate spends hours in his stamp club discussing rare stamps.
I'd rather do something I'm interested in.
I'm not interested in drinking or how much someone paid for something I'd rather tip down the kitchen sink than drink.
At work this Xmas we were all given a bottle of posh-pedigree Coonawarra bubbly. Last year we got the same thing, but this year it was a year older. I would have LOVED that last year. This year I gave it to my Mum, and she was absolutely thrilled and said it was such a treat she'd have it at Xmas dinner, and I was happy she was happy.
Then I told my food/wine snob sister (who I love dearly I should add) and she basically dismissed it as not good enough and said "I'm bringing a Hyacinth Buckét 2014 Rouge Plonque" or whatever "we'll have that instead".
You can't win the Wine Snob game!5 -
Nearly succumbed to a sneaky shot from the liquor cabinet. @Orphia But I reminded myself that the “tomorrow you” would have been so disappointed. Made two pumpkin pies instead, wrapped gifts, and made some new ginger tea, Keep busy, my friends!!8
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@lorrainequiche59 Hugs!
There is a whole culture and in-crowd "mystique" to alcohol and its products. So much pretension associated with particular brands of drinks and their rarity or pedigree. "Wine snobbery" always makes you feel bad. xo
I'm looking at it as being kind of like Philately (Stamp Collecting).
I'm not interested in Stamp Collecting in the slightest. A workmate spends hours in his stamp club discussing rare stamps.
I'd rather do something I'm interested in.
I'm not interested in drinking or how much someone paid for something I'd rather tip down the kitchen sink than drink.
At work this Xmas we were all given a bottle of posh-pedigree Coonawarra bubbly. Last year we got the same thing, but this year it was a year older. I would have LOVED that last year. This year I gave it to my Mum, and she was absolutely thrilled and said it was such a treat she'd have it at Xmas dinner, and I was happy she was happy.
Then I told my food/wine snob sister (who I love dearly I should add) and she basically dismissed it as not good enough and said "I'm bringing a Hyacinth Buckét 2014 Rouge Plonque" or whatever "we'll have that instead".
You can't win the Wine Snob game!
I've never gotten the wine snob thing (or craft beer snob). Every wine of a certain variety that I've ever tasted, has tasted exactly the same to me. Same with beer. It might have a slightly different taste for the first two sips, then it just becomes the same bitter hops flavor (and makes you feel bloated and uncomfortable for the rest of the night).
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laurenq1991 wrote: »@lorrainequiche59 Hugs!
There is a whole culture and in-crowd "mystique" to alcohol and its products. So much pretension associated with particular brands of drinks and their rarity or pedigree. "Wine snobbery" always makes you feel bad. xo
I'm looking at it as being kind of like Philately (Stamp Collecting).
I'm not interested in Stamp Collecting in the slightest. A workmate spends hours in his stamp club discussing rare stamps.
I'd rather do something I'm interested in.
I'm not interested in drinking or how much someone paid for something I'd rather tip down the kitchen sink than drink.
At work this Xmas we were all given a bottle of posh-pedigree Coonawarra bubbly. Last year we got the same thing, but this year it was a year older. I would have LOVED that last year. This year I gave it to my Mum, and she was absolutely thrilled and said it was such a treat she'd have it at Xmas dinner, and I was happy she was happy.
Then I told my food/wine snob sister (who I love dearly I should add) and she basically dismissed it as not good enough and said "I'm bringing a Hyacinth Buckét 2014 Rouge Plonque" or whatever "we'll have that instead".
You can't win the Wine Snob game!
I've never gotten the wine snob thing (or craft beer snob). Every wine of a certain variety that I've ever tasted, has tasted exactly the same to me. Same with beer. It might have a slightly different taste for the first two sips, then it just becomes the same bitter hops flavor (and makes you feel bloated and uncomfortable for the rest of the night).
That raises a great point!
Discussing blind tasting of wines etc, I learned about this event today:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judgment_of_Paris_(wine)
"The Paris Wine Tasting of 1976—known as the Judgment of Paris—was a wine competition organized in Paris on 24 May 1976 by Steven Spurrier, a British wine merchant, in which French judges carried out two blind tasting comparisons: one of top-quality Chardonnays and another of red wines (Bordeaux wines from France and Cabernet Sauvignon wines from California).[1] A Californian wine rated best in each category, which caused surprise as France was generally regarded as being the foremost producer of the world's best wines. Spurrier sold only French wine and believed that the California wines would not win.[2]"
"Criticism of the event suggested that wine tastings lacked scientific validity due to the subjectivity of taste in human beings. Indeed, the organizer of the competition, Steven Spurrier, said, "The results of a blind tasting cannot be predicted and will not even be reproduced the next day by the same panel tasting the same wines."[4] In one case it was reported that a "side-by-side chart of best-to-worst rankings of 18 wines by a roster of experienced tasters showed about as much consistency as a table of random numbers."[5][6]"
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I've often read about many other blind tastings where sommelliers can't tell expensive from cheap wine.6 -
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/81171025/posts/2108311367
Great blog post by Ultraviolet Sobriety:
"[T]he idea of having to remember to move a toy elf around each night makes me want to dance around an elf bonfire toasting marshmallows."
That's the best sentence I've read all week! Hahaha, I love it!
And this is so insightful:
"Christmas time is the time when people with drinking problems blend in the best. It’s considered normal to drink heavily. Everyone seems to be doing it. There are pictures, ads and images of it everywhere. You may not even notice them. I never did until I became teetotal. Exotic brands of alcohol in overpriced, pretentiously flavoured mixers and the decadence of Christmas are synonymous.
"Except…. they are not. Or shouldn’t be. That’s just what we are drip-fed currently. Perpetuating this belief around the dependence of fun upon booze consumption makes a few people very rich indeed…. and this deep yet false cultural belief makes a LOT of people very sick indeed. Physically unwell, mentally unwell, spirituality unwell, socially unwell."9 -
@Orphia “Physically unwell, mentally unwell, spiritually unwell, socially unwell.” That is a good quote.2
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laurenq1991 wrote: »I wasn't a big drinker but I've been alcohol-free (and free of other drugs) since September 15.
........I've only found more reasons not to drink or do other drugs.. I still have just as fun of a time as my friends do.
I think it is wonderful that you have learned from others' train wrecks with booze rather than waiting till you have your own train wreck.
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@RubyRed427...yes, I certainly got the twinge being amongst all the booze the other day!! It's such a difficult time of year for sobriety as has been commented on in some of the posts & "heavy drinking" is accepted because of the availability of alcohol & the vibe this time of year. Like @Orphia commented the normal heavy drinkers blend in with everyone else who is heavy drinking because they can!! And all the ads...
@Orphia I loved the description you shared of being "drip fed" by the alcohol industry & their marketing puppets who are all raking in the $dough$ at the expense of everyone else's health....every aspect of our health!!
And as for the "wine snobs" ... I used to do wine/liquor tastings at various LCBOs in our area & when I got my info package with the description of the wine/liquor I was promoting, I couldn't bring myself to use the description they provided & pretend that I was some kind of expert...It was such baloney & yes, just because the description from the marketer, said "soft on the palate, with notes of cherry & chocolate...long, slow finish...BLAH BLAH BLAH...!!" doesn't mean squat when people would taste it...a "few" people actually seemed to be "refined" enough to taste what they were supposed to OR argue with what they were supposed to taste...anyway, it was interesting to read the comments from the Paris Wine Tasting.4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Nearly succumbed to a sneaky shot from the liquor cabinet. @Orphia But I reminded myself that the “tomorrow you” would have been so disappointed. Made two pumpkin pies instead, wrapped gifts, and made some new ginger tea, Keep busy, my friends!!
YAY, You GO girl!! It really helps when we struggle together & are honest about the realities of our struggles good or not so great....
@WhitPauly The rose-colored glasses really mess up our view of reality...like you said remembering the "yuk" is what is going to keep us AF & thankful to have way more moments of relief & thankfulness than we do of temptation or regret.
BTW I watch a Craig Beck video on Drinking & Christmas...worth the 18 mins to watch. 2 -
@lorrainequiche59 You are so right. We have each other in this struggle; we have the comfort of knowing the people on this thread are trying their best to be the best person. To experience life without alcohol- it’s extremely helpful to come to the thread and read and learn and know, WE ARE NOT ALONE. Merry Christmas to you and yours! Xo3
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Thinking of u all... and I'm feeling simpathic for ones having a hard time. I'm still going but I'm with u in this..
Have a merry Christmas xo
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This is a great group! I feel so lucky to have you all for support hope everyone is having a wonderful AF Christmas Eve 4
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