Is this guy just super friendly or is he asking me out?
Replies
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breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
You know my stance lol0 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Soooo it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck... but it's not a duck?3 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Oh he's into yew lol...
Don't be surprised if he tries to step things up next time...
If you like him... A little encouragement now and then goes a long way for a guy0 -
I’m following this saga... with high hopes for your happiness 😎breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
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HappilyDistracted wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Soooo it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck... but it's not a duck?
But does she weigh the same as a duck?
He likes you so you need to either encourage his advances or play shy.3 -
After reading through this thread, I had a few thoughts & q's:
* How does he speak about you to other friends you're having kind of, sort of, but not really double dates with? Does he call you his friend? Do they think you're a couple? Has he expressed his interest to them or talked about wanting to ask you out as a gf, but is intimidated in some way?
* You've mentioned China & Chinese friends a few times. Is he from China? Perhaps he has a more traditional view of dating & is from a culture/family where a certain amount of time must pass before he expresses interest? You also said you quasi double date with Chinese friends... ask them about it.
* Based on having 4 older brothers... if a guy is interested in an intimate relationship with a girl, he'll let her know asap, so she doesn't turn her eye elsewhere. He could have been waiting patiently for you to end your previous relationship so he could approach you, but... all these months later & he hasn't? So, you're his plant watcher & occasional dinner companion & my feeling is unless he's the shyest man alive (or abides by traditional Chinese social behavior), you are his friend.
* I don't agree with some previous posts, but I'm a traditionalist, older than you & although in the dating pool, no judgment, but I'm not interested in the gender fluid, bi, tri, wear my clothing types... I'd never ask out a guy. Did once, he jumped my bones the second he picked me up, then when I fought him off, he thought I was nuts cuz I'd "made a pass" at him & of course that meant instant sex. Perhaps not usual today with people your age (I have no bleedin' idea), but whatever... I'll be the girl, you be the guy, if you're bi, gender neutral or a cross dresser, nah thanks... & if interested in me, approach me. I'm very comfortable with the old fashioned, traditional ways. But, I'm American & not familiar with traditional Chinese dating rules, so you'll need to find out, if you wish to be involved with him in a more intimate way.
* Being very literal myself... come up for coffee means come up for coffee (although, I've learned the hard way, yeah, it doesn't mean that... I long for a literal guy), I can't guess what someone else wants or feels. I've been mislead before... when in my 20s, a breathtakingly handsome classmate everyone had a crush on asked me to come to "our house", so I asked where he lived... he meant met him & his bf at a restaurant called Our House. I didn't know he was gay & thought he was asking me out. Oh, how embarrassing. And, I've also accepted invitations before to an event, then was stunned the guy made an abrupt move... I thought we were going as friends cuz I wasn't interested, he felt if I accepted an invite to an art gallery it meant I was interested in dating him.
* My point? Who knows what the Valhalla someone else is thinking? How do I know what's right for you, but my best advice would be if you're interested in just remaining friends, then continue to meet him with friends as friends & stop wondering about it unless he broaches the subject. If interested in him, then work dating into the conversation in some way... "So, are you dating lately?" etc., type q's. You could also ask your dinner companions about him & his intentions, which might be easier. Word would get back to him, then if he is shy or traditional, he'll know you'll be amenable to his advances.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do! And, Happy Holidays!5 -
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CookingWithCumin wrote: »Hi everyone, since this is the relationship advice thread I have a question
I sent a female acquaintance a video of my dog chewing on a plastic bottle this morning to which she responded “my dog is cuter”
Do you think this means I can’t smash?
Could have been a typo and she meant to just type "cute" and not "cuter". You'll have to wait this one out awhile longer.0 -
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My husband was so much like this guy...Yes!!! Husband of 32 years.
We spent 6 months on a big ol' merry-go-round. I had enough so one night, I leaned in and kissed him when it was time to leave. It was long enough. He, in the end told me that he was so scared to ask me because he had been rejected before and it scarred him.
imo...Friends first makes the best relationships.
Best of luck, but if I were you, I would make a move or make it 100% clear you just want to be friends. It is only fair to him.6 -
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HappilyDistracted wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Soooo it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, looks like a duck... but it's not a duck?
That’s a decoy duck.
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Awesome thread.
I'm with you on the over-analyzing part... but my best friends have always been guys too. I LOVE guy friends. So if he keeps inviting you to things and you want to go, just go! And enjoy his company... there's nothing wrong with that either way. But definitely mention that you're not into big crowds (I totally hear you there).
About feelings etc.. it's always been very clear to me when I was into someone, so I guess I can't really help you there. See how you react when you're close to each other or touch his hand by mistake etc... those are big tells. If you indeed feel something, I'd say, definitely flirt, or mention casually how much you enjoy going out with him (easy to sneak in the 'I don't like crowds but I like you' speech).
I'll be looking forward to the update.0 -
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For one dollar less than a million dollars I will also ask him out for you.1
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ACanadian22 wrote: »My husband was so much like this guy...Yes!!! Husband of 32 years.
We spent 6 months on a big ol' merry-go-round. I had enough so one night, I leaned in and kissed him when it was time to leave. It was long enough. He, in the end told me that he was so scared to ask me because he had been rejected before and it scarred him.
imo...Friends first makes the best relationships.
Best of luck, but if I were you, I would make a move or make it 100% clear you just want to be friends. It is only fair to him.
Pamela Anderson hasn't been married for 32 years.....0 -
breefoshee wrote: »Update #3 for those still hanging on lol:
He invited my Chinese friend and her husband and me to dinner tomorrow night... and no one else. When he invited me, he made it sound like it was a group... then when I asked how many people would be there he just said it was a small group.
When I talked to my friend she said she asked him the same question and he said it would only be us. So.... this is a non-double date...
Just friends guys... just remember he is just a friend.
Were all of the other people in the group coupled up?
You need to update us here, I'm really invested in this story now
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Yes we need an update!0
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Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
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breefoshee wrote: »Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
so....
the elaborate destination wedding is now on 'hold'.
dang.0 -
But maybe it fizzled because he didn't feel like you were into him.
Just giggle at him, that will turn the tide.2 -
Motorsheen wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
so....
the elaborate destination wedding is now on 'hold'.
dang.
We can always start planning one for her anyways - it's never too early to start, right??
@breefoshee I hope you find your someone whether "Pete" or otherwise2 -
HappilyDistracted wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
so....
the elaborate destination wedding is now on 'hold'.
dang.
We can always start planning one for her anyways - it's never too early to start, right??
@breefoshee I hope you find your someone whether "Pete" or otherwise
@HappilyDistracted
I like it!
... any destinations in mind ?
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Motorsheen wrote: »HappilyDistracted wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
so....
the elaborate destination wedding is now on 'hold'.
dang.
We can always start planning one for her anyways - it's never too early to start, right??
@breefoshee I hope you find your someone whether "Pete" or otherwise
@HappilyDistracted
I like it!
... any destinations in mind ?
Somewhere tropical and fancy?
I hear the Carribbeans are nice.0 -
Will we ever know the end? Please dont be a cliff hanger...text him tonight!?0
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HappilyDistracted wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »HappilyDistracted wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »breefoshee wrote: »Okay.... Update:
So Friday, it was just me, "Pete", and my chinese friend and her husband. (Only continuing to call her "chinese" friend for consistency-- he went to China and wanted to chat with someone from China)
So... I didn't feel like the dinner was in anyway about me and him, really. He talked about his trip to China and showed us some pictures. Pete is also Asian and so a lot of the conversation was about the cultural differences Asians face coming to the US. It was fun, lighthearted and serious at some points.... but never romantic.
There wasn't even a moment of sparkly eyes between us or a time where we reached for the same spring roll and accidentally had a moment. No spark... nothing... just a guy and a girl hanging out with a husband and a wife.
I left feeling more friendly towards him than romantic. I'm wondering now if I didn't build up my feelings for him while he was away, only to be met with reality when we were together. We were definitely friends and laughing it up.... but... no real moments. And no follow up call or anything like that.
I did finally tell him that I hate big crowds and he was like "Hey, thats why you never come to anything I invite you to!" So.... I'll update if anything more comes about. But for now it seems pretty fizzled--- if there ever was anything to be fizzled in the first place.
so....
the elaborate destination wedding is now on 'hold'.
dang.
We can always start planning one for her anyways - it's never too early to start, right??
@breefoshee I hope you find your someone whether "Pete" or otherwise
@HappilyDistracted
I like it!
... any destinations in mind ?
Somewhere tropical and fancy?
I hear the Carribbeans are nice.
Somalia has beaches too.
.... just sayin'0 -
mustacheU2Lift wrote: »Will we ever know the end? Please dont be a cliff hanger... drunk text him tonight!?
.0 -
So no humping? Hmmmm...-1
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Motorsheen wrote: »mustacheU2Lift wrote: »Will we ever know the end? Please dont be a cliff hanger... drunk text him tonight!?
.
Oops. Lol. I guess there was an ending.0
This discussion has been closed.
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