Let it GO! Decluttering (simplifying) your life of (people, places or things) success stories?

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Replies

  • chris_in_cal
    chris_in_cal Posts: 2,563 Member
    cory17 wrote: »
    Took another box out of my office!
    Going through old rolodex and tossing cards. Threw out an address book I used before my first marriage. That was 30+ years ago. Faced reality - hadn't needed or used it all this time, it can go.

    Fantastic. In 2018 I tried to do a lot of decluttering. I have a ways to go still, but the progress really feels good. @cory17
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Today I pulled an extra set of dishes out of the cupboard, filled the dishwasher, and got it going. Found a church in the area collecting for hurricane victims. I'm getting a load ready to donate to them. I'll have to pull my other dish sets out of the back room and get them cleaned up too. ( How did I end up with 5 sets of dishes?!)
  • IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt
    IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt Posts: 695 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Today I pulled an extra set of dishes out of the cupboard, filled the dishwasher, and got it going. Found a church in the area collecting for hurricane victims. I'm getting a load ready to donate to them. I'll have to pull my other dish sets out of the back room and get them cleaned up too. ( How did I end up with 5 sets of dishes?!)

    Wow, great work! You’re on a roll!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    Hi friends, just checking in; I have been de-cluttering for hours. I recommend put Marie Kondo (Netflix) on in the background and go for it. I am being ruthless with my stuff ; the rest of the family can deal with their stuff. Remember a few years ago, there was a movement just to have 100 items you love and donate the rest. I think if I could start all over, I would do that. We still have lots of snow and it's cold, so I have no excuse not to clean. Happy cleaning !
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,418 Member
    I really love the title of the article above about being "paralyzed " with all the mess and where do you begin. I can relate.

    Thanks for those links- I'll read them a little later 😀
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    Hi friends, just checking in; I have been de-cluttering for hours. I recommend put Marie Kondo (Netflix) on in the background and go for it. I am being ruthless with my stuff ; the rest of the family can deal with their stuff. Remember a few years ago, there was a movement just to have 100 items you love and donate the rest. I think if I could start all over, I would do that. We still have lots of snow and it's cold, so I have no excuse not to clean. Happy cleaning !

    Congratulations on getting so much decluttering done. I like the thought of just worrying about your things.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    "Clutter can affect our anxiety levels, sleep, and ability to focus.

    It can also make us less productive, triggering coping and avoidance strategies that make us more likely to snack on junk and watch TV shows (including ones about other people decluttering their lives).

    My own research shows our physical environments significantly influence our cognition, emotions and subsequent behaviours, including our relationships with others."

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-21/marie-kondo-tidying-up-clutter-bad-for-you/10732968

    It goes on to say how physical decluttering can help improve all those things.

    That's what we've all been finding!! :heart:
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    Yesterday I pulled everything out of the cupboards above and to the left of the sinks. Washed them all ( cupboards). and put a lot of dishes in the dishwasher. I washed about a dozen vases, but will have to "rice" wash them today. Only keeping a few of them. Rearranged where things go, so it makes sense, and decluttered many dishes. @Orphia is right, my sense of peace is returning with every accomplishment.
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @laurenq1991 WOW!!!! I`m speechless. I cannot imagine your stress level. It was stressing me out just reading your vent.

    One of my clients has SO much stuff collected in various rooms in her huge house. Her husband`s parents were hoarders and he definitely has a hoarding tendency and buys in bulk to the max...so much waste (re: food) because he buys sale items of food in excess and there's only the two of them, so guess what? LOTS of food waste. I point out that it isn`t a bargain if you throw 4 out of 6 "bargain" items away...in fact, it costs you more $ than if you bought it at regular price...there are rooms that are crammed with crap, and others that are livable. Some of the "crap" in these rooms are in boxes that have not even been opened and I'm talking big ticket items not trinkets...as far as I'm concerned, these people have way too much $$$ to waste!!

    The thing is, there is NO reasoning with him, she is a more reasonable but still attached to stuff...there is this sentimental part of these two that causes them to want to keep newspaper clippings and all manner of momentos and therefore, it's very difficult for them to throw anything out!! It is SO frustrating working for these people...I was initially hired by their friend to organize their place...I should say to "begin" to organize cause it is still a work in progress, and it has been a futile & frustrating experience for the most part....and all the "stuff" creates anxiety for her.

    I've gotten most of a room organized only to have my client decide on my next visit to tackle a different project and before I know it, the room that was partially done is now filling up with more crap....BUT, I just got to the point where I decided if they want to pay me $28/hr to move the same stuff from here to there and back again...so be it!!!!!!!!!! SO, having said ALL that........!!

    Is your husband a big part of the problem?? Perhaps he needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mother. I truly feel for you because you are describing a hopeless situation where your MIL is concerned cause there are issues with her that are not going to go away even if you got rid of every scrap of paper she is collecting...I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with someone who is so troubled....Not to pick on your hubby, but what comes to my mind is Dr. Phil`s motto, "We teach people HOW to treat us!"

    I`m not suggesting anything here, BUT if it were me, I`d be tempted to find my own place and see how long it would take hubby to clue in that this situation is putting your marriage in jeopardy. I hope you figure out how to take care of yourself through this mess because it sounds like you`re on the verge of a breakdown or of hurting your MIL...hoping the best for you in the days ahead.


  • cory17
    cory17 Posts: 1,513 Member
    @laurenq1991 I'm sending you huge, big kudos for grace under pressure in a hostile environment (in an apartment no less). I'd be chucking her stuff left and right & putting on the angel face.

    I've realized much of my thinking is similar to that of my mother (the paper hoarder). I have trouble throwing out food (started telling myself "I am not a disposal" and heaving in trash. I've got stacks of torn out recipes & cookbooks but rarely use (going to pass on some of those). Watched some of the Kondo shows - visualizing the vision of how I want to live/style of life/what goals and does this whatever serve that is helping me pass it on. I don't have to find a home for it here, I can set me free.
  • laurenq1991
    laurenq1991 Posts: 384 Member
    edited January 2019
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    @laurenq1991 WOW!!!! I`m speechless. I cannot imagine your stress level. It was stressing me out just reading your vent.

    One of my clients has SO much stuff collected in various rooms in her huge house. Her husband`s parents were hoarders and he definitely has a hoarding tendency and buys in bulk to the max...so much waste (re: food) because he buys sale items of food in excess and there's only the two of them, so guess what? LOTS of food waste. I point out that it isn`t a bargain if you throw 4 out of 6 "bargain" items away...in fact, it costs you more $ than if you bought it at regular price...there are rooms that are crammed with crap, and others that are livable. Some of the "crap" in these rooms are in boxes that have not even been opened and I'm talking big ticket items not trinkets...as far as I'm concerned, these people have way too much $$$ to waste!!

    The thing is, there is NO reasoning with him, she is a more reasonable but still attached to stuff...there is this sentimental part of these two that causes them to want to keep newspaper clippings and all manner of momentos and therefore, it's very difficult for them to throw anything out!! It is SO frustrating working for these people...I was initially hired by their friend to organize their place...I should say to "begin" to organize cause it is still a work in progress, and it has been a futile & frustrating experience for the most part....and all the "stuff" creates anxiety for her.

    I've gotten most of a room organized only to have my client decide on my next visit to tackle a different project and before I know it, the room that was partially done is now filling up with more crap....BUT, I just got to the point where I decided if they want to pay me $28/hr to move the same stuff from here to there and back again...so be it!!!!!!!!!! SO, having said ALL that........!!

    Is your husband a big part of the problem?? Perhaps he needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mother. I truly feel for you because you are describing a hopeless situation where your MIL is concerned cause there are issues with her that are not going to go away even if you got rid of every scrap of paper she is collecting...I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with someone who is so troubled....Not to pick on your hubby, but what comes to my mind is Dr. Phil`s motto, "We teach people HOW to treat us!"

    I`m not suggesting anything here, BUT if it were me, I`d be tempted to find my own place and see how long it would take hubby to clue in that this situation is putting your marriage in jeopardy. I hope you figure out how to take care of yourself through this mess because it sounds like you`re on the verge of a breakdown or of hurting your MIL...hoping the best for you in the days ahead.
    cory17 wrote: »
    @laurenq1991 I'm sending you huge, big kudos for grace under pressure in a hostile environment (in an apartment no less). I'd be chucking her stuff left and right & putting on the angel face.

    I've realized much of my thinking is similar to that of my mother (the paper hoarder). I have trouble throwing out food (started telling myself "I am not a disposal" and heaving in trash. I've got stacks of torn out recipes & cookbooks but rarely use (going to pass on some of those). Watched some of the Kondo shows - visualizing the vision of how I want to live/style of life/what goals and does this whatever serve that is helping me pass it on. I don't have to find a home for it here, I can set me free.

    Thanks! The situation has cooled off to some extent since she came back from the hospital last week. My husband has been taking a bin at a time to the Staples bulk shredding. I think after I pointed out that piles of paper everywhere are a fire hazard he realized that it has to go. I haven't been in her room so I don't know if the amount of stuff has noticeably diminished but I kind of stopped caring about it for now. I haven't really noticed any messes in the common areas lately so I think she is trying to be neater to avoid arguments.

    Currently the long-term future of our relationship is in jeopardy for unrelated reasons (I realized that I don't think I'll ever be ready or able to be a mom due to my disabilities and abuse in my upbringing, while my husband has always wanted to have kids.) But after the hospital incident I don't think she will ever move back to Florida. It's just a matter of time before she has another health crisis and my husband would freak out if he wasn't there and something bad happened to her. If we do stay together, whether we live together or not, I just have to accept that he lives with her and her pet parrot. There are some good things about it, like it saves money, I don't have to be home alone as much (I hate to be alone) and she insists on cooking dinner for my husband every day which saves me time.

    But he does know she has problems. I can't even be that mad at her because she's been through *kitten*. She lived through genocide and saw over 20 people murdered in front of her including her best friend and had to flee in fear of her life because her family was persecuted. It's understandable that she has problems and she still accomplished a lot in life despite that. I went through less *kitten* and am less functional than she was so I don't know if I can really judge. Anyway he knows she has problems but he said he can't just abandon her and if he makes her leave she will think of it as him abandoning her to die because in her culture that is what it would be. It's not a good set of options for him. He can keep an eye on her more and make sure she doesn't hoard too much or neglect her health if she is living here.

    I know people will get mad at me for being judgmental but I've had many hoarders in my family and it seems like their homes just become a black hole where time, money, resources, and good intentions get sucked in to die. My brother has hoarding tendencies too (he is currently living an economically unsustainable lifestyle because he doesn't want to get a smaller place and have to give away some of his stuff) and I do not want anything to do with that although it might be unavoidable. I've had enough of hoarding to last a lifetime. I wish someone would pay me $28/hr to deal with it!

    As for decluttering one of my friends gave me the best decluttering advice once...he said to make a "keep" pile, "get rid of" pile, and "maybe" pile, and then get rid of the "get rid of" AND the "maybe" pile."
  • cory17
    cory17 Posts: 1,513 Member
    edited January 2019
    I like to watch the Hoarders and 600 lb shows. Makes me reflect on my own reasons/excuses.

    A few years back, we were renting out rooms. One of our tenants was a hoarder, he brought the stuff from his storage and bags of stuff/trash from ? When he moved out, the bed was unusable and he ran out of time moving stuff. When contacted, he came for the left behind stuff/trash here. Essentially, he was literally moving trash from one place to another (We're talking fast food bags). Starting to acknowledge if I'm not using it, what's the difference? Nicer but not necessary

    @laurenq1991 no judgment from me! You gotta do what you need to stay sane, function well and thrive. ps friend's advice is great.
  • cory17
    cory17 Posts: 1,513 Member
    edited January 2019
    .
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    Anyone practicing Marie Kondo's decluttering/lifestyle? I've done my clothes and drawers so far...
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,986 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Yesterday I pulled everything out of the cupboards above and to the left of the sinks. Washed them all ( cupboards). and put a lot of dishes in the dishwasher. I washed about a dozen vases, but will have to "rice" wash them today. Only keeping a few of them. Rearranged where things go, so it makes sense, and decluttered many dishes. @Orphia is right, my sense of peace is returning with every accomplishment.

    What is "rice" wash? I don't have any vases except for my large mouth crystal ones, but my daughter is trying to clean some small bottles that you can't get anything into for her wedding.
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,986 Member
    I have been working on tidying up my craftroom. I was so spoiled by my husband because he bought me a Cricut for Christmas. This means I needed to rearrange to find places to put new materials in the room. I have been selling a lot on Marketplace and have earned close to $500 so far. I have also contacted a young man that just started teaching this year and offered him some stickers, scrapbook paper scraps and some other craft items a grade 2 class might use. He is excited to be getting them.

    I think my next project will be my pajama drawer a lot of my pj's are XL and too big now.
  • snoo61
    snoo61 Posts: 549 Member
    edited January 2019
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Yesterday I pulled everything out of the cupboards above and to the left of the sinks. Washed them all ( cupboards). and put a lot of dishes in the dishwasher. I washed about a dozen vases, but will have to "rice" wash them today. Only keeping a few of them. Rearranged where things go, so it makes sense, and decluttered many dishes. @Orphia is right, my sense of peace is returning with every accomplishment.

    What is "rice" wash? I don't have any vases except for my large mouth crystal ones, but my daughter is trying to clean some small bottles that you can't get anything into for her wedding.

    Put uncooked rice into the vase, maybe 1/8 inch, add a little dish soap, then cold water, to fill vase about 1/3 full. The rice will scrub the parts not reachable. Shake and swish around.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    edited January 2019
    laurenq1991 wrote: »
    lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
    @laurenq1991 WOW!!!! I`m speechless. I cannot imagine your stress level. It was stressing me out just reading your vent.

    One of my clients has SO much stuff collected in various rooms in her huge house. Her husband`s parents were hoarders and he definitely has a hoarding tendency and buys in bulk to the max...so much waste (re: food) because he buys sale items of food in excess and there's only the two of them, so guess what? LOTS of food waste. I point out that it isn`t a bargain if you throw 4 out of 6 "bargain" items away...in fact, it costs you more $ than if you bought it at regular price...there are rooms that are crammed with crap, and others that are livable. Some of the "crap" in these rooms are in boxes that have not even been opened and I'm talking big ticket items not trinkets...as far as I'm concerned, these people have way too much $$$ to waste!!

    The thing is, there is NO reasoning with him, she is a more reasonable but still attached to stuff...there is this sentimental part of these two that causes them to want to keep newspaper clippings and all manner of momentos and therefore, it's very difficult for them to throw anything out!! It is SO frustrating working for these people...I was initially hired by their friend to organize their place...I should say to "begin" to organize cause it is still a work in progress, and it has been a futile & frustrating experience for the most part....and all the "stuff" creates anxiety for her.

    I've gotten most of a room organized only to have my client decide on my next visit to tackle a different project and before I know it, the room that was partially done is now filling up with more crap....BUT, I just got to the point where I decided if they want to pay me $28/hr to move the same stuff from here to there and back again...so be it!!!!!!!!!! SO, having said ALL that........!!

    Is your husband a big part of the problem?? Perhaps he needs to grow a pair and stand up to his mother. I truly feel for you because you are describing a hopeless situation where your MIL is concerned cause there are issues with her that are not going to go away even if you got rid of every scrap of paper she is collecting...I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with someone who is so troubled....Not to pick on your hubby, but what comes to my mind is Dr. Phil`s motto, "We teach people HOW to treat us!"

    I`m not suggesting anything here, BUT if it were me, I`d be tempted to find my own place and see how long it would take hubby to clue in that this situation is putting your marriage in jeopardy. I hope you figure out how to take care of yourself through this mess because it sounds like you`re on the verge of a breakdown or of hurting your MIL...hoping the best for you in the days ahead.
    cory17 wrote: »
    @laurenq1991 I'm sending you huge, big kudos for grace under pressure in a hostile environment (in an apartment no less). I'd be chucking her stuff left and right & putting on the angel face.

    I've realized much of my thinking is similar to that of my mother (the paper hoarder). I have trouble throwing out food (started telling myself "I am not a disposal" and heaving in trash. I've got stacks of torn out recipes & cookbooks but rarely use (going to pass on some of those). Watched some of the Kondo shows - visualizing the vision of how I want to live/style of life/what goals and does this whatever serve that is helping me pass it on. I don't have to find a home for it here, I can set me free.

    Thanks! The situation has cooled off to some extent since she came back from the hospital last week. My husband has been taking a bin at a time to the Staples bulk shredding. I think after I pointed out that piles of paper everywhere are a fire hazard he realized that it has to go. I haven't been in her room so I don't know if the amount of stuff has noticeably diminished but I kind of stopped caring about it for now. I haven't really noticed any messes in the common areas lately so I think she is trying to be neater to avoid arguments.

    Currently the long-term future of our relationship is in jeopardy for unrelated reasons (I realized that I don't think I'll ever be ready or able to be a mom due to my disabilities and abuse in my upbringing, while my husband has always wanted to have kids.) But after the hospital incident I don't think she will ever move back to Florida. It's just a matter of time before she has another health crisis and my husband would freak out if he wasn't there and something bad happened to her. If we do stay together, whether we live together or not, I just have to accept that he lives with her and her pet parrot. There are some good things about it, like it saves money, I don't have to be home alone as much (I hate to be alone) and she insists on cooking dinner for my husband every day which saves me time.

    But he does know she has problems. I can't even be that mad at her because she's been through *kitten*. She lived through genocide and saw over 20 people murdered in front of her including her best friend and had to flee in fear of her life because her family was persecuted. It's understandable that she has problems and she still accomplished a lot in life despite that. I went through less *kitten* and am less functional than she was so I don't know if I can really judge. Anyway he knows she has problems but he said he can't just abandon her and if he makes her leave she will think of it as him abandoning her to die because in her culture that is what it would be. It's not a good set of options for him. He can keep an eye on her more and make sure she doesn't hoard too much or neglect her health if she is living here.

    I know people will get mad at me for being judgmental but I've had many hoarders in my family and it seems like their homes just become a black hole where time, money, resources, and good intentions get sucked in to die. My brother has hoarding tendencies too (he is currently living an economically unsustainable lifestyle because he doesn't want to get a smaller place and have to give away some of his stuff) and I do not want anything to do with that although it might be unavoidable. I've had enough of hoarding to last a lifetime. I wish someone would pay me $28/hr to deal with it!

    As for decluttering one of my friends gave me the best decluttering advice once...he said to make a "keep" pile, "get rid of" pile, and "maybe" pile, and then get rid of the "get rid of" AND the "maybe" pile."

    "I know people will get mad at me for being judgmental but I've had many hoarders in my family and it seems like their homes just become a black hole where time, money, resources, and good intentions get sucked in to die. "

    I think that's very accurate. Americans have a cultural thing about "being judgemental", but us Australians don't think in those terms at all.

    Hoarding is a physical representation of a sad, depressed, messy, illogical mind.
  • thatjodiegirl
    thatjodiegirl Posts: 95 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Yesterday I pulled everything out of the cupboards above and to the left of the sinks. Washed them all ( cupboards). and put a lot of dishes in the dishwasher. I washed about a dozen vases, but will have to "rice" wash them today. Only keeping a few of them. Rearranged where things go, so it makes sense, and decluttered many dishes. @Orphia is right, my sense of peace is returning with every accomplishment.

    What is "rice" wash? I don't have any vases except for my large mouth crystal ones, but my daughter is trying to clean some small bottles that you can't get anything into for her wedding.

    Put uncooked rice into the vase, maybe 1/8 inch, add a little dish soap, then cold water, to fill vase about 1/3 full. The rice will scrub the parts not reachable. Shake and swish around.

    Neat tip! I learned something new today. :smiley:

    Just make sure its cold water, warm or hot starts to cook the rice. Guess how I know that. :smiley:

    Sounds like something I would do!
  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @laurenq1991 You are not being judgemental and whoever may accuse you of being judgemental are making their own judgement...just sayin`!! YOU are living with this so you are entitled to see it as you see it...no more no less!!! Who cares what anyone else thinks! You are the only one who has to deal with it. I think you are also giving your MIL credit where credit is due for what she does contribute to your family, so please try to be kind to yourself because you are doing more than most would to help her, and your husband sounds like a caring soul who likely feels like he`s between a rock and a hard spot...I truly hope you guys can work this out <3
  • IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt
    IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt Posts: 695 Member
    LindaGilpin59 wrote: »
    A friend's blog was talking about using a one minute rule. Will it take one minute to hang up/put away and item vs laying down where it doesn't belong. If so then put it away. I have been thinking about this and trying to do this whenever possible. Also when done with a sewing project I am making it a practice to clean/organize the sewing room before leaving it or starting a new project and after taking a lot of time to find a rotary cutting board I had misplaced (it had slid behind a desk) I reorganized my pegboard so my cutting tools could be right above my cutting table.

    Great tip! I’m bad about “finishing” a project in terms of doing the cleanup at the end. I do something 95% and then procrastinate the last 5%, but actually finishing a task 100% feels so much better! And having all your tools clean and ready for the next project (whether it’s cleaning, cooking, crafting, or anything else) also feels great. I just have to remind myself of that and form better habits!
  • IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt
    IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt Posts: 695 Member
    sfdeva wrote: »
    LindaGilpin59 wrote: »
    A friend's blog was talking about using a one minute rule. Will it take one minute to hang up/put away and item vs laying down where it doesn't belong. If so then put it away. I have been thinking about this and trying to do this whenever possible. Also when done with a sewing project I am making it a practice to clean/organize the sewing room before leaving it or starting a new project and after taking a lot of time to find a rotary cutting board I had misplaced (it had slid behind a desk) I reorganized my pegboard so my cutting tools could be right above my cutting table.

    One minute rule sounds great:) I'm trying something similar - the one 'touch' rule - right now. You only touch something once, so if I pick something up, I put it away. I don't put it down somewhere it doesn't belong only to have to touch it again. Might combine the two and do that for one minute:)

    That’s a great tip as well! I’ve done the one touch rule with success. Sometimes it feels inefficient in the moment (when I’m running all over the house putting stuff away here and there), but then I think of all the extra steps I’m getting on my FitBit and it feels like a bonus. :smile:
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,986 Member
    snoo61 wrote: »
    IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    snoo61 wrote: »
    Yesterday I pulled everything out of the cupboards above and to the left of the sinks. Washed them all ( cupboards). and put a lot of dishes in the dishwasher. I washed about a dozen vases, but will have to "rice" wash them today. Only keeping a few of them. Rearranged where things go, so it makes sense, and decluttered many dishes. @Orphia is right, my sense of peace is returning with every accomplishment.

    What is "rice" wash? I don't have any vases except for my large mouth crystal ones, but my daughter is trying to clean some small bottles that you can't get anything into for her wedding.

    Put uncooked rice into the vase, maybe 1/8 inch, add a little dish soap, then cold water, to fill vase about 1/3 full. The rice will scrub the parts not reachable. Shake and swish around.

    Neat tip! I learned something new today. :smiley:

    Just make sure its cold water, warm or hot starts to cook the rice. Guess how I know that. :smiley:

    Thanks for that! I’ll tell my daughter.

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