What nobody tells you about losing weight

lawsonsaysread wrote: »

At 200 lbs down, I find the following surprising-

-How much I HATE being told I am inspiring or having the talk about "How did you loose all the weight?" Those conversations just make me want to go binge on Reece's Peanut Butter Eggs. When strangers comment on my fitness level, I feel uplifted. When people I know (even family) comment on weight loss, I feel judged. When a mere acquaintance tells me thy are "proud" of me, I want to get violent. It is kind of funny because I do not care about other people's judgments except in this area. I do not care what anyone (other than my wife and daughter) thinks about how I dress, my old truck, my taste in literature, my love of classical music, my nerdy side, my redneck side, my political perspectives, my ignorance of pop culture, my income, etc. But hearing what someone (and everyone seems to think they need to comment) thinks/feels about my weight loss makes me feel like crap. This is a problem in me, not other people, but, oh my, it has surprised me how intense this is.

Congratulations on your successful weight loss!
And old trucks are the best!
I hear what you are saying about being uncomfortable addressing weight-loss comments but I think your angst is may be a bit short-sighted.
I believe we will be experiencing much more openess in society talking about weight loss and gain and everything surrounding that issue.
30 years ago, you never mentioned someones fat in front of them. If you had to describe people, they were hefty, husky, big boned. It was almost a taboo subject seen as very negative almost as bad as a drug habit, etc.

We as a WORLD society have become obese.
Yes, there are places and people that still deal with chronic hungar but society as a whole has been doing a great job of ‘eating away’ at the problem of people dying of starvation.
In fact, mankind has developed the ability (in creating a corn ‘food-product industry’ ) to feed the world now!
It’s a matter of getting the food to those last hungry places.

That being said- The World is now dealing with an obesity problem.
IMO, The current social conversation needs to address it at a high level and even more important the next generation needs to be given the tools in school to learn about choosing the right diet for a healthy life in both the classroom and lunch table.

I was fat at the start of my journey. I might as well admit it to myself because everyone else knew it.
I remember even shocking a few people saying it out loud, as in -
Since I am fat....
‘I am going to lose weight, workout, start watching my diet, research the current related medical information, etc.

Others around me are also fat... not putting them down, just making an accurate judgement.
However, they are not mentally at that place of starting this journey yet (even if they need to be for their own health and lifes sake)
The conversation of us discussing my weight-loss because I was fat is safe because as I share my journey maybe they think they can start theirs. I am still fatter than I need to be, at least to be as fit and healthy as I want.
When family and friends comment or say they are proud of me it shows me they are emotionally invested in my well being enough to care to comment. They are thinking it anyway and I would rather know than not know.
Of course, there are also those insincere people, who say it without really meaning it. Maybe your hackles were raised by that aspect?

At any rate, I believe society as a whole will be talking more and more about fat and weight loss as a higher and higher percentage of our population struggles being seriously overweight and obese. We even have levels of obesity now because what used to be the highest and rarest level of fat is now a common living space for so many people.

Just know that in some cases, whether you like or or not, your example makes others look at themselves and some are seriously, maybe even desperately searching for a bridge to start that journey.
Maybe develop a few truthful comebacks to the common comments that annoy you that could be helpful to someone else.
Those comments may be annoying simply because you don’t know how to respond because you have never had to before.
Maybe interpret the words a bit different.
Proud= impressed
Losing weight = fitness level
You can never go wrong by just graciously saying thank you.

Just know that in some cases, whether you like or or not, your example makes others look at themselves and some are seriously, maybe even desperately searching for a bridge to start that journey.
Maybe develop a few truthful comebacks to the common comments that annoy you that could be helpful to someone else.

Typically most people don't really want the answers though. They want you to say "I was on this diet, or took this miracle pill". When you say "I ate less and got more exercise", they literally tune out, or they think you're keeping secrets.. or they just want to bag on your method of doing it.

nooie19 wrote: »

I’m really really grateful to be at a healthy weight, with normal A1C.
But at age 50 after losing 31 pounds my wrinkles are more visible! Has anyone experienced this? Should I moisturize? Drink more water?

Yes, and be patient... given time, SOME of the increase in wrinkle action goes away... I had a neck wattle form after the first 25 pounds came off... I feared, greatly, that I would have a wattle down to my belly button before it was all said and done - but, thank Heaven, the wattle has stayed fairly consistent - although I have lost another 50 pounds.

It feels uncomfortable when people don’t say anything about my weight loss.
And it feels uncomfortable when people comment on my weight loss.

Which tells me it’s just about my own insecurities. Same as when I was overweight.

Last time I lost weight I noticed I had to stop saying fat jokes. ( they were always against myself)

I remember seeing post on Facebook where Reese Witherspoon posted a picture of a piece of bacon, 1 egg and a piece of toast, saying "I'm having a huge breakfast today" and I thought.."That's only half a breakfast"..now I eat that and am full...LOL..your perspective changes A LOT

This has been mentioned already, but I didn’t realize people would think they should tell me I had lost “enough.”

When you’re finally in a size 12 and you hear that, you know you’re doing something right AND you also learn a lot about other people’s character, agenda and insecurities.

(My response, the last time it happened, was to act alarmed and ask if she’d let my doctor know he needed to reconsider his opinion that I still needed to lose twenty pounds to reach a healthy weight. Then I urged her to hurry to the nearest clothing store and demand that all items smaller than a twelve be removed for the safety of their customers, who should avoid getting any smaller. 🙄😏😜 To my great disappointment, not really, she doesn’t speak to me anymore. Maybe I was too aggressive, but she needs to think twice before saying something so silly to another mere acquaintance.)

SalinitySally wrote: »

My response, the last time it happened, was to act alarmed and ask if she’d let my doctor know he needed to reconsider his opinion that I still needed to lose twenty pounds to reach a healthy weight. Then I urged her to hurry to the nearest clothing store and demand that all items smaller than a twelve be removed for the safety of their customers, who should avoid getting any smaller. 🙄😏😜 To my great disappointment, not really, she doesn’t speak to me anymore. Maybe I was too aggressive, but she needs to think twice before saying something so silly to another mere acquaintance.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You rock! Nope, you were no way aggressive. You were justified to be that awesomely sarcastic!

I have a sister who almost convinced my mum (during my first weightloss journey) that me at size 10 is unhealthy and I was suffering an eating disorder. Doesn't matter we're the same height, I was 5kg heavier than her and have similar bodies. My response to her was similar to yours. I too no longer speak to her. Apparently I'm too sarcastic...go figure...

I’m sure this has been said here many times...

But i had no idea how awkward it would be for people to talk about your weight loss and ask how much you’ve lost. It makes me so uncomfortable any time someone compliments me.

...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...

Food still has the ability to give me horrible gas even when I'm not over my calorie goal. It's not just eating too much that can cause stomach issues, and I realized that quite clearly this weekend. One must work up to eating decent amounts of kimchi if one hasn't had it before - even though it is delicious and quite easy to eat half a jar.

garystrickland357 wrote: »

ceiswyn wrote: »

...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...

Not to mention the amount of money I've spent on cycling clothes, running shoes, etc...

I am not even thinking about that. Not when I have a tendency to discover that my gym clothes are slightly too big just before a high-impact class, and the nearest place to buy emergency leggings is Sweaty Betty...

ceiswyn wrote: »

...the amount of money you will spend on new clothes.

I calculate I bought about six whole new wardrobes during the course of my weight loss. Even with charity shops, that got expensive.

But what I didn't anticipate is how much I'm still spending on clothes now I'm at my final size.

First there was the 'this is my final size, I can buy good clothes that will last' splurge. Then there was the 'hey, I don't have to hide my tummy anymore, I can buy styles I never even looked at before' splurge. Then there was the 'holy *kitten* what is this "cold" malarkey, now I understand why people have a separate winter wardrobe' splurge. Then there was the 'wait, I can wear designer clothes now' splurge.

Help, help, I think I've become a fashion victim...

This. Plus, I enjoy shopping for clothes. Which is something I never thought I'd enjoy doing!

pinuplove wrote: »

hazeleni wrote: »

I dont know if I am overreacting but I have to vent somewhere.. i am almost at the weight I was 2 years ago, only then I was more firm.. Everyone I know is commenting on my weight.. One woman turned to my mother and was talking about me like I wasnt there.. "Wow she lost weight, from the butt the thighs the boobs". I know you are friends with my mother, but does this makes it okay talking about my body and commenting how my body looks? It felt disgusting.
Today someone said I lost a lot of weight and I should put some weight on because she doesnt like it. Both of them put on weight late!y. The latter turned and said that she gained 15 pounds. I told her I didnt notice and that jt was okay if she was happier this way.
Jesus, I was about to snap on her in my workplace.
Phew, venting done. :-P

'Two people get to comment on my weight, my doctor and me. You're not either. kthxbai :flowerforyou: '

Seriously, the nerve of people :huh:

I think you might be overreacting at least to the work situation, just ignore the chatter. As for your mom and her friend pretty typical conversation guessing she is a close friend of your moms....but tell your moms friend or have your mom maybe address it to be less specific. Perhaps, you look great would suffice.

RelCanonical wrote: »

For me it’s less about not belonging (that’s there, but not much). It’s more - you need a dress for whatever reason - how do you do that when there are 100 stores you could find it in? Or jeans - where do you even start?